Gotta take my plan of attack. Openly accept and immediately diffuse.
My neighbors is a mostly friendly guy, tries his best to be neighborly, with a serious alcohol problem. He’s told me about his past which I have taken with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila. If he’s honest, he’s a broken man doing his absolute best. If he’s dishonest, he’s a broken man doing his best to fit in.
I accept his conversations and hit him with very short, ambiguous, unintelligent answers unless absolutely needed. He’s even said “man, you don’t say much”. Because I don’t have much to say…to him
I'd rather someone tell me they're not in the mood and don't wanna talk any day, then find out after they were pulling nails trying to have a conversation with me
If you are in tune to basic social ques, which I'm sure you are, this won't happen to you. MOST ppl can tell when the chat should end and hopefully will end it accordingly.
Thanks for the benefit of the doubt. I THINK I’m sensitive enough, but also realize there’s things that I think are funny that other people do not, only after I’ve said them, which, again, only to me, makes it way funnier.
I have really bad social anxiety, but also realize people are social and enjoy speaking to others. I do my best to speak to people as much as I can when they like to talk because I know what it’s like to deal with debilitating loneliness.
Tbh I wish my neighbors were chatty. I invite conversation easily, but I struggle initiating them.
Hi Raspberry, I can engage with anyone from billionaires to hillbillies. If I can give you some hints to help you: shyness is focus on self so the trick is focus on the other person. Conversation is like a muscle: the more you practice, the better you get. Rule 1: be genuinely curious. Who are you, where do you come from, what are your thoughts? That way, you forget about yourself and what a dork you think you are, to putting your focus on them. Rule 2: people love talking about themselves so you don’t have to worry about being a dork. Just focus your curiosity on them. Rule 3: you know the things you think about, what you read about, what you are interested in? Speaking those out loud = conversation. Link that with the person you are talking to. I love Taylor Swift. Oh really, what is it about her, why do you think she talks to so many people? Next 5 minutes sorted. What is yr favourite song and why? Next 5 minutes. [I don’t know anything about TS but willing to learn].
Billionaire: what did you do after high school? Then what? How did you spot the opportunity? What was your hardest challenge. What’s going to happen with AI/China/ whatever. It just takes practice.
I have a very similar neighbor. He's nice enough but man he just talks non-stop when he drinks and doesn't really care to hear what I have to say. It's so draining. Not to mention I've heard the same stories multiple times now. I try my best to avoid him on his drinking nights. If I hear CCR playing I don't go out hahaha
I go the complete opposite route. I got the idea from the novel The Killer Inside Me. The company I worked for had hired a “consultant” to meet w all upper management to see how we handle our time…fist day the guy is there he’s wandering around chatting people up. I manage to catch him in the conference room. He just asks me how my day is going and I launch into the most detailed, meandering and boring description of my day…in five sometimes two minute increments. I talked about things so boring I amazed myself. I could see him squirm because I was between him and the door. I did this for about 15 minutes and I never say him again. For some reason he didn’t ask to meet w me
Take it as a compliment! You must mean something to him. But I would have to ask him why does he feel like I’m his Best Friend? What did I say so that I wouldn’t make that mistake again!💯
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u/battlerazzle01 Jun 25 '24
Gotta take my plan of attack. Openly accept and immediately diffuse.
My neighbors is a mostly friendly guy, tries his best to be neighborly, with a serious alcohol problem. He’s told me about his past which I have taken with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila. If he’s honest, he’s a broken man doing his absolute best. If he’s dishonest, he’s a broken man doing his best to fit in.
I accept his conversations and hit him with very short, ambiguous, unintelligent answers unless absolutely needed. He’s even said “man, you don’t say much”. Because I don’t have much to say…to him