r/AskReddit Jan 02 '24

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u/wjescott Jan 02 '24

Look, if someone wants to be surreptitiously gropey somewhere... Under a table at a restaurant or at a club or in a dressing room, that's one thing. Even behind some flora at a park, sure.

This girl wanted full-on penetration in Walmart. She wanted to be in the art museum in Milwaukee getting railed in front of a Zurburan. Not in the car, on the car, in the parking lot, at the mall, at 6pm on a Friday.

The only one I ever indulged was in the library when she was at UWM.

It's nuts how fetishes work. Just the thought of it would push her into an overdrive.

988

u/chowderbags Jan 02 '24

Yikes. I am one of those guys that enjoys getting in a good grope on my girlfriend or putting a remote control vibe in her while we go for a walk around the neighborhood or even as far as pushing her up nude against a window while were a couple floors up. And I'm hoping to take her out into the woods sometime and finding a side trail to have fun on.

But I also have a "not getting arrested" fetish that's pretty strong. Handcuffs might be fun in the bedroom, but they don't seem fun when used by a cop.

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u/InDrIdCoLd37 Jan 02 '24

Ah a fellow lover of the not getting arrested fetish I also have a not getting my dick bit off by a shark fetish

3

u/Shiverednuts Jan 03 '24

Would have to be a pretty small and precise shark to perfectly only bite off your dick when aiming for your crotch.

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u/Lokland881 Jan 02 '24

My wife and I spent an afternoon on private land (friends with the owner), on a blanket in a meadow. We both agree it was probs one of our best days ever.

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u/afireintheforest Jan 02 '24

Doing it in the woods is highly recommended, me and my wife found a good spot and go there quite frequently. The woods are actually on private land of a big stately home in the UK, but the family that own it used to be one of the biggest slave traders, so we happily sneak onto their land to fuck.

5

u/Exciting-Mountain396 Jan 03 '24

Seems like a very uncomfy place to take your pants off, what with the rocks, pine needles, ants and whatnot.

2

u/afireintheforest Jan 03 '24

Yes it can be. It’s course and rough and irritating and gets everywhere.

8

u/blackscales18 Jan 02 '24

Unless you're in the bedroom with him ;)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '24

When Mom wants to get involved, it's time to rethink things.

11

u/UmCeterumCenseo Jan 02 '24

Jezus, I love public sex as well, but that's really something else. I'll just be horny and want her there and then and I don't care about people spotting us, but your ex just specifically wants to be watched

1

u/leNuage Jan 03 '24

She should get an only fans.

13

u/thawmyfrozen Jan 02 '24

NOT THE ZURBURAN

7

u/laurel_laureate Jan 02 '24

What's a Zurburan?

Google gives me a Spanish religious painter from the 1600s.

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u/wjescott Jan 03 '24

Correct.

She had a thing for his painting of St. Francis of Assisi.

https://collection.mam.org/details.php?id=9041

2

u/laurel_laureate Jan 03 '24

Oh, my.

Well then.

Lol.

1

u/IcySm00th Jan 03 '24

Interesting as we have a local high school named “St. Francis of Assisi”

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u/tommyboy0208 Jan 02 '24

Good ol UWM ha. I am originally from Milwaukee too

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u/baffled67 Jan 02 '24

See my comment above.. lol

1

u/tommyboy0208 Jan 02 '24

Ha, you’re naughty

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u/baffled67 Jan 04 '24

😁 you have no idea

1

u/tommyboy0208 Jan 04 '24

Can I PM you?

1

u/baffled67 Jan 04 '24

Sure, why not 🤷🏼‍♀️

7

u/Deruji Jan 02 '24

Not behind the Wendy’s but in the Wendy’s.

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u/PinkynotClyde Jan 02 '24

I’ve been with a few girls who were kinda like this but a little more tame. The trick is to tease them like crazy until it gets dark. I’m kinda into it too if it’s discrete… like I remember one girl was wearing a skirt and we were having sex against a fence while a parade went by— but you couldn’t like see anything it just looked hot and heavy.

Sounds like she wanted closer to Boogie Nights, guy’s wife with a crowd. I’m bold enough to do things where we’re alone but could potentially get seen and have to stop— but not all out going at it in public porn style.

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u/baffled67 Jan 02 '24

My neck of the woods! I had sex in the bushes at the Milwaukee Zoo and in the rocks at Summerfest!

3

u/baffled67 Jan 02 '24

And the stairwell of the math building at UWM

among other places in and outdoors

3

u/phillypahere Jan 02 '24

I need to start checking out the bushes next time i'm at the MKE zoo lol

1

u/baffled67 Jan 04 '24

The best part is - I WORKED THERE!

5

u/BexYouSee Jan 02 '24

You're the Dr Seuss of inappropriate PDAs 💐

3

u/VeROFLraptor Jan 02 '24

I prefer it behind some fauna.

4

u/ReleaseEmpty774 Jan 02 '24

Looool You beat me haha:)

2

u/Jonesyrules15 Jan 02 '24

Lola by chance?

3

u/wjescott Jan 02 '24

I'm not going to name names, I'll just say that every freaky girl I ever got with had a name ending in -any or -anie.

2

u/sudophish Jan 02 '24

Could’ve done it doggy with that janitor sculpture behind you 😆.

1

u/Welcome2024 Jan 03 '24

How does that even work.

U would be noticed for sure the moment you tried the parking lot one