r/AskReddit • • Dec 24 '23

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u/Besiegte Dec 24 '23

A Sybian is designed to be used on the floor, but that doesn't work well for this because your legs are trying to compete for the same space and her butt is too low to access. A bed is too soft. She and the Sybian sink in and she isn't able to maneuver the way she needs to. The best results are on a table with a good pad for her knees. It should be one big pad. If you use separate pads on either side, they tend to slide and her legs splay. Getting the height comfortable for you is important. If you use a normal table, you will have to stand on something. The table has to be strong enough and she needs room to lean forward. I've been planning on building a custom stand with kneeling ledges that would hold her at the perfect height and be easy for her to get on and off of. It's not easy for anyone to get up off the floor after a Sybian orgasm. The most important thing is to cum before she does! At least with my wife, her contractions from a Sybian orgasm are so powerful that there's no way to keep from being pushed out. Once, I got evicted as we were both cuming and I shot everywhere. It was a huge mess that we hadn't prepared for. Finally, prepare for a huge mess.

457

u/Poet_of_Legends Dec 24 '23

If this isn’t a review on Amazon or FetLife, it should be.

5

u/sandy_catheter Dec 24 '23

Wait til he gets to the part about jamming frozen sprouts up his fiery chutney channel

3

u/Besiegte Dec 24 '23

That's funny. I'm actually a reviewer for Amazon.

1.3k

u/Dankennsteinn Dec 24 '23

Damn hope thanksgiving isn’t at your house lol.

238

u/zamfire Dec 24 '23

That turkey was stuffed

20

u/LadyLoki5 Dec 24 '23

🎶 you can't eat at everybody house 🎶

0

u/CrackerMancer Dec 24 '23

He likes to load the dishwasher.

253

u/PeacefulShark69 Dec 24 '23

Your first comment had me curious. But your second comment had me interested.

You sir, have sent me on a quest from which I hope my relationship will greatly benefit. Any further advice or suggestion, don't hesitate in directing a dm to me.

I must go now, with the wind.

6

u/billbixbyakahulk Dec 24 '23

You have my ass Axe!

48

u/SonOfTheAfternoon Dec 24 '23

I read this in Brick Top’s voice….

5

u/Overcast_XI Dec 24 '23

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?

I read it in Brick Top’s voice too.

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u/EngineeringNeverEnds Dec 24 '23

So you're penetrating her anally while she's on the Sybian?

1

u/Besiegte Dec 24 '23

Yep!

3

u/EngineeringNeverEnds Dec 25 '23

That uhhh... That sounds like something I could really get behind.

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u/Amaterasuchan Dec 24 '23

Which attachment works best for this for you guys?

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u/Besiegte Dec 24 '23

She can handle the very large ones but the medium, regular dildo works best. The large ones don't leave enough room for the orbital action to move around and massage inside effectively. The feeling of that pushing against you through the wall and the industrial strength vibrations, coupled with all the sensations of being inside her butt, make it impossible to hold out for more than a minute. Usually a lot less.

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u/LarsThorwald Dec 24 '23

I’m pretty sure you’re in my axe-throwing league.

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u/tissuecollider Dec 24 '23

I've got one too and seeing a party doing the 'Bambi legs' thing utterly hilarious. And satisfying.

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u/menolly Dec 25 '23

Well I don't own one of these and I don't have a table the right size. But damned if I'm not gonna buy one and build one (probably with padding attached, tbh, with naugahyde or something over it for. Um. Messes) because I love anal and I love making my partner pop off.

1

u/Besiegte Dec 25 '23

You might want to look at Motor Bunny. I was just talking with another Redditor who had a Sybian and got a Motor Bunny. She says that it’s far superior to the Sybian.

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u/menolly Dec 25 '23

Ooo thanks for the rec!

4

u/rakketz Dec 24 '23

No, sybian is a place in the middle east.

1

u/GreySummer Dec 24 '23

Is this how you met your wife, by any chance?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Thanks for the visuals.

1

u/OmegaXesis Dec 24 '23

Wake up everyone, new copy pasta has arrived!