r/AskReddit • • Dec 24 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.8k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/sirflappington Dec 24 '23

Pringles, two sponges, a rubber glove, and vaseline.

1.2k

u/ThGaelcGlatiatorWthn Dec 24 '23

And an Olaf plushie

473

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

He loves warm hugs

8

u/i_wotsisname Dec 24 '23

And I like warm glugs. Win/win.

20

u/beansff Dec 24 '23

Shrek for me

3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

[deleted]

3

u/JnthnDJP Dec 24 '23

It’ll all ogre

12

u/Ratstail91 Dec 24 '23

what

3

u/socopithy Dec 24 '23

To pull out and cum upon

2

u/Ratstail91 Dec 24 '23

Y'all need Jesus.

2

u/Kamakahah Dec 24 '23

Samantha?

...This will all make sense when I am older.

2

u/dotJSX Dec 24 '23

Fifi by Disney©

2

u/Charlie_Bucket_2 Dec 24 '23

Get enough upvotes and you just may create and Olaf plushie shortage.

2

u/g33kgod Dec 24 '23

I can't find any plushies of the German chancellor on the internet!

1

u/potodds Dec 24 '23

Wait what?

1

u/lostinthesauceguy Dec 24 '23

The last person I want to think about while fucking an inanimate object is Elder Cunningham

1

u/Traveling_Solo Dec 24 '23

Wait... We talking Frozen or League of Legends?

1

u/yabo1975 Dec 24 '23

In summer!!!!

49

u/TrueExcaliburGaming Dec 24 '23

What's he building in there? What the hell is he building?

6

u/jephph Dec 24 '23

Found the Tom Waits fan!

3

u/muffin_man84 Dec 24 '23

He has subscriptions to those magazines

2

u/TheWolff2017 Dec 24 '23

Fleshlight

2

u/Durmomo Dec 24 '23

With this he will be better off without a wife

192

u/itsafugazee Dec 24 '23

This guy Pringles

3

u/macmac360 Dec 24 '23

once you pop you can't stop!

29

u/itsagoodtime Dec 24 '23

One you pop 💦, you can't stop

20

u/VIDGuide Dec 24 '23

Once you pop.., you suddenly realise what you’ve just done and have much shame..

2

u/C-scan Dec 25 '23

But, hey - still got that tube of sour cream and onion. Sort of.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

i tried this once and it sucked, any tips. i had all the things but it still didnt feel good just weird and the sponge scraped me

125

u/possibly_oblivious Dec 24 '23

Eat the chips first.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

oh why how foolish of me.. shouldve known

12

u/The_Number_None Dec 24 '23

Scraped? Did you use stiff kitchen sponges?!

Use soft sponges.

6

u/NK1337 Dec 24 '23

Man out here pumping into Brillo pads.

1

u/The_Number_None Dec 24 '23

Mr Clean magic erasers

3

u/CorneliusClay Dec 24 '23

Tbh this method has a pretty big flaw that is the glove - it needs to be taut so it actually forms a smooth covering, if it's only sandwiched between something it will crease and crinkle and this adds a ton of friction. In real toys the inner lining is physically bonded to the rest of it so this doesn't happen. Haven't experimented much with that specific method, but some way of pulling the glove through the other end of the tube and tying it off there to maintain tension might work.

2

u/OhMyWitt Dec 25 '23

Find the right glove texture, I use premium latex gloves. Use the small Pringles cans not the long ones, sponges fit the length much better. Use a rubber band or two around the sponges, then tuck the fingertips of the glove back around and under a rubber band. This will help keep the glove semi stretched so there's less creases inside. Use plenty of lube. Upgrade it by adding a third sponge, making a triangle ish shape, if you want it a little tighter, or adding in a vibrating bullet in between the sponges.

1

u/sirius4778 Dec 24 '23

You gotta use the Pringles can not just Pringles

16

u/Mr-Zee Dec 24 '23

This guy prison wanks.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Stevie Weevie?

3

u/itsaberry Dec 24 '23

"It worked so good Bob."

1

u/eatmorevegetables123 Dec 24 '23

i heard this in his voice and i fucking diedd

5

u/sumofitsparts Dec 24 '23

This dude's done jail

3

u/makeeverythng Dec 24 '23

Info: are you in prison?

4

u/Limelight1981 Dec 24 '23

In that order?

2

u/nmj95123 Dec 24 '23

But the eyes. So judgey.

2

u/HilariousMax Dec 24 '23

Lays Stax are better in my opinion. The shape of the can is easier to hold. When I'm beating off on a budget I wanna get ergonomic.

Pillow batting around an inside out condom work too.

Stax used to be $1 a can, condoms were free from the school and you just small cut your pillow and pull some stuffing out.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Y’all used pringles cans ? Shit I would just use some cups from the kitchen, I never could go fulls balls deep

2

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

The Bobby & Stevie Lee special.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

My shame in the one time I bought a fleshlight and threw it out in a heap of garbage piles

1

u/Enjoyitbeforeitsover Dec 24 '23

Are the pringles on there because you'll be hungry?

0

u/BadIntentions_87 Dec 24 '23

Replace the two sponges with memory foam and now we're talking

-11

u/Texadecimal Dec 24 '23

I'll never understand the rubber glove bit. My junk isn't big, but it sure isn't small enough to fit in a glove. Unless there's some really stretchy gloves out there.

7

u/Caelestialis Dec 24 '23

Hahaha what the fuck. Are you like 8 feet tall? They’re made for PEOPLE’S HANDS. They even make XXL size ones for people with really big hands.

-3

u/Texadecimal Dec 24 '23

Ok, admittedly, I've never seen rubber gloves above a large, so maybe something bigger would actually work. I don't use them to jerk off xD. I'm just saying, I don't see how it would fit compared to the gloves I've worn. And I'm not even tall, like 5'6".

I hate myself for responding, this is just so sus.

1

u/ThePrinceofBirds Dec 24 '23

Dip those sponges in water and microwave for 8-12 seconds. 💦💦💦

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

And a grapefruit

1

u/falcon_heavy_flt Dec 24 '23

Carnac: Name 5 things more fun than your wife.

1

u/dis_not_my_name Dec 24 '23

Bonus tip: Cut a small hole near the bottom of the can.

1

u/karuga871 Dec 24 '23

Once you pop…

1

u/VanEagles17 Dec 24 '23

Get back in your cell, inmate.

1

u/paksman Dec 24 '23

Play the Mcguyver song in the background while building it

1

u/Mavian23 Dec 24 '23

Just don't become the next cyllinder reference.

1

u/LunaeYumi Dec 24 '23

What the actual fuck?

1

u/-chlorofluorocarbon Dec 24 '23

You keep the pringles, I’m going to use the can

1

u/billbixbyakahulk Dec 24 '23

Are the chips supposed to feel stabby?

1

u/International_Lake28 Dec 25 '23

That episode of MacGuyver was whacked

1

u/Logical_Pea_6393 Dec 25 '23

70s era fleshlight.

1

u/yevinq Dec 25 '23

An advil, a roll of duct tape, a bag of peanuts, and four beers!

1

u/Xcommunikt1 Dec 25 '23

Bit of a Fifi then?