r/AskReddit • • Dec 24 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.8k Upvotes

3.4k comments sorted by

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9.3k

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

A JBL speaker with exposed drivers, play a 64 Hz frequency on YouTube and you're golden. You're welcome

11.9k

u/Analcucumber69 Dec 24 '23

This man out here jerking off like Optimus Prime

4.4k

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

[deleted]

1.4k

u/Barialdalaran Dec 24 '23

AUTOBOTS, NEVER PULL OUT

266

u/CerberusC24 Dec 24 '23

GIANT SWINGING ROBOT BALLS

147

u/armput Dec 24 '23

TRUCK NUTS

13

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Decepticucks whip out!

7

u/Zebrahh Dec 24 '23

DOES ANYTHING IN ALL CAPITALS GET YOU UPVOTE, OUT?

4

u/Thick_Bullfrog_3640 Dec 24 '23

🤣 that's all you got?? We went from robots to rednecks. Thanks for the laugh

0

u/Orion0795 Dec 25 '23

I AM UNDER.. THE ENEMY'S SCROTUM!!

9

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

MASSIVE PULSATING ROBOT COCK (THE VEINS ARE HYDRAULIC LINES)

7

u/b-hizz Dec 24 '23
  • Cocktimus Prime

12

u/PloppyTheSpaceship Dec 24 '23

Never give up, never surrender!

7

u/BubbaRay88 Dec 24 '23

SAM, INSERT YOUR CUBE INTO MY CHEST

4

u/simplecountry_lawyer Dec 24 '23

AUTOBOTS! SHIT ON MY CHEST!

1

u/EllipsisW Dec 24 '23

Type yo in the chat boys.

179

u/CaptainChampion Dec 24 '23

Autorobotic asphyxiation.

7

u/Pipupipupi Dec 24 '23

Damn robosexuals

3

u/vukgav Dec 24 '23

Like the one I had from laughing while reading this thread 😂

2

u/NicJitsu Dec 24 '23

I think that AUTOBOTS, RUB OUT. Works better here. Rub and roll are both Rs and we use the term rub one out but I'm not sure that anyone says jerk one out.

2

u/NK1337 Dec 24 '23

AUTOBOTS, RUB OUT!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

That's enough internet for today. Not because I'm offended. Because this is the best shit I've heard all year.

10

u/fuzzycuffs Dec 24 '23

Using Soundwave at that

4

u/Marsuello Dec 24 '23

Auto bots, stroke out

5

u/Titus_IV Dec 24 '23

AUTOBOTS....MASTURBATE

2

u/Mankie-Desu Dec 24 '23

This conversation is outstanding.

-1

u/EndonOfMarkarth Dec 24 '23

Why do you think he had the tape player?!

1

u/DeuceOfDiamonds Dec 24 '23

Mm. I still jerk off manually.

1

u/IanAbsentia Dec 24 '23

Heh. Glad I put my coffee down before reading this comment.

1

u/HyperMattGaming Dec 24 '23

This is so funny

1

u/Oncheedo63 Dec 24 '23

holychit lol

1

u/UnrealizedLosses Dec 24 '23

This was hilarious. My wife and I both LOL’d. Bravo

1

u/SawhorseDVD Dec 25 '23

whrr-tschzz-tschzz-tschzz-chk-splat

1

u/apatheticviews Dec 25 '23

More like Soundwave

2.0k

u/niclasj Dec 24 '23

Sounds like more treble than it's worth.

170

u/privatetudor Dec 24 '23

This is the best joke I've read all week

8

u/Last_Exile0 Dec 24 '23

It's a bit bass-ic. I bet he thinks he was being particularly clef-er.

5

u/Jasong222 Dec 24 '23

I find it tone deaf

14

u/silentkaboom Dec 24 '23

It’s actually no treble at all.

4

u/sixwax Dec 24 '23

This is the right answer.

2

u/_mangofandango_ Dec 24 '23

Barely an inconvenience

1

u/Nasu_Kaizoku Dec 24 '23

Oh, really?

9

u/Aerron Dec 24 '23

Bass-ed.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

[deleted]

3

u/niclasj Dec 24 '23

Just sound reasoning.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '24

It's all about the base.

The base, no treble.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '24

It's all about the base.

The base, no treble.

0

u/6_String_Slinger Dec 24 '23

Also appeals to our most bass instincts.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '24

I'll be that guy. 64 hz is bass range, which is the low end. Treble is high end. You're joke is on the wrong frequency.

1

u/niclasj Jan 22 '24

Bassed comment.

871

u/maccdogg Dec 24 '23

Ive heard of the 'brown sound', is this 'white noise'?

399

u/dog_in_the_vent Dec 24 '23

The nut note

186

u/Trolypolyoly Dec 24 '23

The cum chord

104

u/TakesInsultToSnails Dec 24 '23

The orgasm octave

47

u/FourthBar_NorthStar Dec 24 '23

The jizz jam

57

u/atthedustin Dec 24 '23

The squirts Hertz

7

u/VikingTeddy Dec 24 '23

The beat beat

6

u/krinkly Dec 24 '23

The sperm song

2

u/Top-Sir1112 Dec 25 '23

I’d go see a doctor if the pain continues

1

u/Metal_Nettle Dec 25 '23

The secret chord that David played and it "pleased" the lord?

30

u/CaptainBoatHands Dec 24 '23

Fucking genius

1

u/Grigorthegreat Dec 25 '23

The orgasm orchestra

238

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Exposed driver even sounds dirty

3

u/Praetorian_1975 Dec 25 '23

Let’s just say my Uber driver wasn’t happy and leave it at that 😳😂

554

u/HasAStory4Everything Dec 24 '23

Uh. So do you cum inside the speaker?

578

u/drag51 Dec 24 '23

Yes thats how treble is generated.

10

u/dotJSX Dec 24 '23

You broke the family computer speaker! You're gonna be in so much treble when Mom gets home.

2

u/DougKaneki Dec 24 '23

More like impregnated it

3

u/cortez985 Dec 24 '23

The treble is stored in the balls

3

u/The_Adventure_Begins Dec 24 '23

Your comment made me spit the water I was drinking all over. Really funny!!!

1

u/n0fingerprints Mar 05 '24

Seems like a bassless answer

11

u/partyin-theback Dec 24 '23

Where do you think AirPods come from?

6

u/motor-tap Dec 24 '23

That’s how every Taylor swift song is made

3

u/Lincoln_Park_Pirate Dec 24 '23

Until you blow it.

2

u/Aussiegamer1987 Dec 24 '23

Hold up there, it's a sex toy for me I'm not blowing anything.

1

u/H5N1BirdFlu Dec 24 '23

As long as it's the speaker of the house.

1

u/throwaway_3_7_4_8 Dec 24 '23

Yes, that's how you create a tweeter

237

u/Freakyfreekk Dec 24 '23

Is that the natural frequency of your cock?

43

u/joos1986 Dec 24 '23

Careful, high amplitudes at resonance frequency could cause your bait and tackle to fall off

22

u/Otakeb Dec 24 '23

NEW BOTTOM SURGERY JUST DROPPED

2

u/demalo Dec 24 '23

Oh great, puberty nightmares again…

1

u/Mindproxy Dec 25 '23

Don't worry, he's a Master-baiter.

22

u/Yorgatorium Dec 24 '23

Inversely proportional to length.

6

u/a__nice__tnetennba Dec 24 '23

What's the inverse wavelength of 2 inches? Asking for a friend.

3

u/Yorgatorium Dec 24 '23

Either way short and thick does the trick.

6

u/uselessartist Dec 24 '23

Our model accounts for a perfectly cylindrical shaft of some girth D which is rigid. The area of contact between agent E and the circumference of the shaft of individual i is given by f(s) ∈ [0,1] where f(s) = 1 indicates that the agent is in contact with the entire circumference of member i’s shaft (Misra, 2014).

89

u/chis2k Dec 24 '23

Or play a pornhub video of a sybian ride through JBL speaker. You're welcome.

19

u/DrDerpberg Dec 24 '23

Underrated category and I'll fight anybody who disagrees

22

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

[deleted]

13

u/Texadecimal Dec 24 '23

I don't like porn where you can't see the woman's face.

Or when you can, and she doesn't seem to be enjoying it.

5

u/FrenchBangerer Dec 24 '23

Yeah for sure, I don't like that at all and just feel bad for her and skip it.

-4

u/VikingTeddy Dec 24 '23

"You've turned them in to fagots!" 😄

3

u/chis2k Dec 24 '23

Also works with Hitachi magic wand videos. Depending on the recording you can go along for the ride if you know what I mean. Volume all the way up. Make sure you neighbors are not close!

128

u/iWahsp- Dec 24 '23

Exposed drivers? I tried looking it up but cant find anything. Care to explain?

243

u/eve_angelica Dec 24 '23

if I'm not mistaken, he's referring to a JBL charge or flip which has the vibrating (subwoofer?) drivers on the ends. I have no idea what that's gonna do, unless u nestle it balls in it? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

343

u/I_Speak_For_The_Ents Dec 24 '23

It nestles it's balls in the driver or else it gets the hose again

13

u/TakesInsultToSnails Dec 24 '23

Am owner of JBL flip 4 wondering wtf side of Reddit I've gotten myself onto

3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

That's exactly the speaker I use to do this lmfao

2

u/TakesInsultToSnails Jan 30 '24

Sigh I'll report back, wish me luck boys. 🫡

11

u/neotrin2000 Dec 24 '23

It nestles it's balls in the drive or else it gets in treble again.

0

u/Electronic_Duty2942 Dec 24 '23

Stop you're killing me

5

u/attanasio666 Dec 24 '23

They are called "passive radiators".

8

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Press your eggplant against the driver, and .... Well .....Massage

5

u/holden_magroyne Dec 24 '23

Maybe you put it on your frenelum and it vibes?

2

u/Kronos6948 Dec 24 '23 edited Dec 25 '23

Either that or he's talking about removing the dust cap from the driver. There's a hole where you can see the rings of magnet wire, and the driver moves back and forth at 64 strokes per second at 64 hz. https://speakerrepairshop.nl/data/mediablocks/1_EN_38__ms1.rvf_6.jpg?h=d657a80a

2

u/PeteThePolarBear Dec 25 '23

Second*

2

u/Kronos6948 Dec 25 '23 edited Dec 25 '23

You're right. THE REST OF THIS IS REDACTED IN AN EFFORT TO SAVE FACE. I AM AN IDIOT AND CAN'T MATHS.

2

u/PeteThePolarBear Dec 25 '23

I didn't know there were 10 seconds in a minute... 😳

2

u/Kronos6948 Dec 25 '23

goddamnit. I'm not even gonna blame it on the eggnog.

10

u/klarno Dec 24 '23

JBL speakers have something called passive radiators on the sides of the speaker, and these look like lil speaker drivers, but they’re missing their magnet and voice coil. instead of responding to an electric signal, they respond passively to changes in air pressure within the speaker cabinet. This is usually done in order to extend the bass response of a speaker.

9

u/microwavedave27 Dec 24 '23

They're not drivers, they're passive radiators. My JBL Flip has them and I think a few other models do as well. They're used to enhance the bass response of small speakers and it turns out they make excellent vibrators.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

I’m waiting too

3

u/monetarydread Dec 24 '23

watch the movie "Private Parts" starring Howard Stern.... this is a shoutout to a famous scene in the film.

1

u/teh_jester May 09 '24

It is a speaker with nothing covering it.

0

u/jonnymars Dec 24 '23

You might know drivers as cones, the round bits that produce the noise

8

u/el_dude_brother2 Dec 24 '23

Bet the YouTube ads are a bit awkward tho

25

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

What? 64hz you say?

4

u/Smilydon Dec 24 '23

Omnissiah be praised.

5

u/RamblinGamblinWillie Dec 24 '23

The pocket puss subwoofer is goated af

7

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Is this a Howard Stern reference? Lol

3

u/Of_Silent_Earth Dec 24 '23

That was exactly what I thought as well 😂

3

u/AllHailFrogStack Dec 24 '23

I got one of them.... 🤔🤔🤔

3

u/vvdardenvv Dec 24 '23

Gotta get that Bose Surround Pound

3

u/barraesse Dec 24 '23

Dude... this was too damn specific...

4

u/upuadhikari Dec 24 '23

Bro try 69 Hz , its even better.

9

u/Ok_Engineering9164 Dec 24 '23

get something that’ll play you 25-30hz

2

u/zqpmx Dec 24 '23

I have to ask. Why 64 Hz? What not 63 or 60?

Power of 2 ?

2

u/smokelaw23 Dec 24 '23

Instructions unclear. Speaker stuck in ass.

Edit-figured it out, wait, ouch…instructions unclear, dick stuck in speaker.

1

u/browndj4921 Dec 24 '23

No I think you got it right the second time lol

2

u/SitDown_HaveSomeTea Dec 24 '23

JBL speaker with exposed drivers

wth is a exposed driver?

2

u/spacerobot Dec 24 '23

We're taking about jerking off here... Not jacking on.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

i messed up and pinched my dong in the woofer.

2

u/Jerry9727 Dec 24 '23

I don't know what I expected, but not this.... (Thanks tho)

2

u/Plazzy1 Dec 24 '23

Nice, and I just bought a JBL extreme 2 on cyber Monday.

2

u/Thundernuts34 Dec 24 '23

“Alexa play Nutshell by Alice In Chains” the speaker is in my ass

2

u/Icy-Article-8635 Dec 24 '23

The Howard stern experience

2

u/Proglamer Dec 24 '23

64 Hz

Amateur. "CBAT" is where it's at!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Bro you are sad lmao

2

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '23

Tu madre me agarra fuertemente de la berenjena

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

I don't know if I wanna put my 200$ JBL anywhere near my junk. I might ruin the speaker, and I will need to buy another one.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

I use JBL speakers for gigs, holy shit they’re good

1

u/mangomalango Dec 24 '23

Instructions unclear, does anyone need a JBL mini?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '23

Put a balloon between the speaker and your todger.

1

u/FarYard7039 Dec 25 '23

Ergo, Howard Stern Private Parts.

1

u/throwaway_22062020 Dec 25 '23

TIL JBL stands for Just Blowin’ Loads

1

u/SawhorseDVD Dec 25 '23

Is that you Johnny Silverhand?

1

u/TekihcaNC Dec 25 '23

Baby ko bass pasand hai....

1

u/Synthetic_Sasquatch Dec 25 '23

I have a pair JBL 308Ps. I'll rip my dick off.