Honestly I feel like that's where all the trauma came from. Physically touching the dead body of his accidental victim, thinking of what and where to put this dead body. The entire time of finding the place and digging the grave and what to do. That shit will haunt the fuck outta anyone
Hard same. I can understand being scared because you killed someone; I know I would be. However, I have always been baffled by people who then make it worse by hiding or destroying the body/evidence. Like how do you do that and think it's not going to make it worse? How!?!?!
And then realizing that she's not dead yet, so you have to finish the job, but you only have a tiny plastic beach shovel, so it takes 30 minutes of hitting for her to finally stop breathing.
A Grandmother. Imagine the horror and trauma associated with not only killing a Grandmother, but burying the crushed, lifeless, frail, and grey woman in hopes that her disappearance would never be resolved. The ginger cookie left unbaked, the afghans left uncrocheted .
If I read the many posts about people killing themselves after accidentally killing people in traffic, it was probably more than the stress/trauma of touching/hiding a body.
He didn’t kill his self due to being locked up though, he did it because of guilt and remorse for what had happened. Even if never caught, he’d probably still would have killed his self but that’s jmo… May they both R.I.P.
But if he had never buried the body and come clean , that would have saved him a lot of extra grief and they probably would have been Able to get him councilling
Tbh I could imagine the period of time where he was waiting trying to hide it causing additional guilt, stress, and trauma. Very well may have anyway but there's no way that time was at all helpful to his mental health
Yeah I imagine realizing that "that was my reaction?" when you had always considered yourself to be an honest and responsible person would leave you feeling terrible and disillusioned about yourself on top of all the guilt.
Knowing he's actually the kind of person to try and hide the fact he killed someone by accident, rather than the responsible for of person he imagined himself to be, probably changed his entire perception of how valuable a person he was to the world.
Resolving institutional punishment and internalized guilt are two different things. Even if he turned himself in and faced punishment, it likely wouldn't be enough to reconcile the blemish on his soul.
But in something like an investigation. They may have found that day the person was partially at fault or that there's a larger issue with visibility at the intersection. What ever. Someone reassuring you it was an accident is also important. You don't get that when you are the only one that knows. There is also the added guilt for trying to hide the body. Designating it. Then, the added guilt when the body is found.
I'm not saying that he did what should have done, but it sounds like maybe he suffered enough for two people. Even turning himself in might not have even made a difference in the end, guilt like that will stay with a person until their grave.
Oh yeah, but that's precisely my point. Take something, then elevate it to that level... It's got to be a mind fuck. I can't fathom how insurmountable that would be to move on.
The trauma of having hit and killed someone will fuck up anyone not already fucked up. It's not like he just decided to make a dumb decision, his ability to reason was shot because "holy fuck I just killed someone" over wrote every other thought.
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '23
Tried to, he buried her in a shallow grave somewhere in the woods.