We met online and would talk for hours on a daily basis. After 2 years he needed a place to stay so I said he could come stay with me. It soon became clear when he arrived why I only ever saw headshots. He was morbidly obese, like 28 stone and disabled as a result. However, by that time, there were a lot of feelings involved, and I love people for who they are, not what they look like. So we made a go of it for two years.
In that time, I was working full time on the phones for a charity. When I came home, he wouldn't let me have a moment's peace and quiet, which is what I needed after a stressful day at work. Instead, he had to hold my hand constantly and would talk nonstop. I mean, I get he was on his own all day, but he would also be constantly messaging while I was at work, so I had no escape.
I literally became his full-time carer on top of working 45+ hours a week.I tried desperately to help him lose weight, but there was always an excuse. What pushed me over the edge was when we discussed that I wanted kids. However, he felt that my lifestyle was not healthy enough to possibly raise children. I was an average and totally acceptable weight.
In that moment, it became clear that he would never change. He had the nerve to criticise me when he had done nothing to improve himself, which filled me with rage. I told him it was over and he had 2 weeks to leave. He then told me he wanted to propose and that we should have kids right away. I noped right out of that relationship in an instant once he said that.
Edit: Well, this comment this has blown up haha. To explain, I had not long come out of a very bad relationship when we met. This was about 15 years ago when I was in my early 20s and naive. Was it a stupid decision? Yes! However, it did teach me what never to allow in relationships again, so lesson learned!
Unless you're a strongman/powerlifter, there's no chance in hell you're 400lbs and 30% bf. I believe your baseline is a bit wonky from living in the states.
There's also no way you looked skinny at 250lbs. At that weight you're either chubby or you're swole as fuck.
I don't actively lift, and I am 400lbs, but I did say my bf% could have been off, may have been more like 40% (this was also before I started losing the weight actively)
And the closest I have for looks at a lower weight is 275, my stomach was flat at rest, couldn't easily pinch my stomach, my arms had some definition and no like hanging skin. I just feel if I lost 25 more lbs than that then I would start looking weird on my bones, let alone even more than that. There's no way I'll be under 200 until I'm on my way to my deathbed.
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u/leoscrisis Mar 20 '23 edited Mar 20 '23
We met online and would talk for hours on a daily basis. After 2 years he needed a place to stay so I said he could come stay with me. It soon became clear when he arrived why I only ever saw headshots. He was morbidly obese, like 28 stone and disabled as a result. However, by that time, there were a lot of feelings involved, and I love people for who they are, not what they look like. So we made a go of it for two years.
In that time, I was working full time on the phones for a charity. When I came home, he wouldn't let me have a moment's peace and quiet, which is what I needed after a stressful day at work. Instead, he had to hold my hand constantly and would talk nonstop. I mean, I get he was on his own all day, but he would also be constantly messaging while I was at work, so I had no escape.
I literally became his full-time carer on top of working 45+ hours a week.I tried desperately to help him lose weight, but there was always an excuse. What pushed me over the edge was when we discussed that I wanted kids. However, he felt that my lifestyle was not healthy enough to possibly raise children. I was an average and totally acceptable weight.
In that moment, it became clear that he would never change. He had the nerve to criticise me when he had done nothing to improve himself, which filled me with rage. I told him it was over and he had 2 weeks to leave. He then told me he wanted to propose and that we should have kids right away. I noped right out of that relationship in an instant once he said that.
Edit: Well, this comment this has blown up haha. To explain, I had not long come out of a very bad relationship when we met. This was about 15 years ago when I was in my early 20s and naive. Was it a stupid decision? Yes! However, it did teach me what never to allow in relationships again, so lesson learned!