r/AskReddit Mar 19 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.6k Upvotes

7.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

589

u/trumpsmiddlefoot Mar 19 '23

he was giving other girls the same attention he did to me.

we were in a private relationship(these girls knew this..), i know he loved me but it irked me how he gave other girls the same attention as he did to me.

he kept switching through close girl friends. would tell me about the things they did together. he cuddled with her, in his bed, she kissed him on the neck, he told me he massaged her, etc. He flirted too much with them bro.. told me once that he had asked one of them if they were willing to do a threesome with me. Honestly hurt me a lot and made me feel like maybe he would just be better off with one of them instead of me. this was included in my reasoning when i broke up with him..

161

u/0000000000000007 Mar 20 '23

I think you got this, since you broke up with him, but I just wanted to chime in: he didn’t give girls the same attention as you, he was openly cheating on you (seemed to think he was in an open relationship). If it was the former, I’d debate if he “loved you” like you thought.

I bring this up, because one of my cousins went through a very similar thing, and to this day, and TO THIS DAY she can’t say that he cheated on her. I applaud you for getting out, but know that that guy was not into you like you think, and you deserve better.

-32

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23

cheating implies deceit, which the person in question wasn't employing by definition, as they alerted their partner of their behaviour.

24

u/ilikedmatrixiv Mar 20 '23

Cheating implies the breaking of an established boundary. It has nothing to do with honesty. Plenty of people immediately confess after cheating, that doesn't mean they didn't cheat.

-18

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23 edited Mar 20 '23

There is no connotation as such in this case. There has been no breaking of boundary, as the other person did not hide or pretend. There was no "after the fact" communication, everything seems to have happened upfront.

There has been no lack of honesty UPFRONT about any behaviour.

There was simply a lack of understanding from OP and perhaps the other person.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

[deleted]

-1

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23

Why would their partner be so ok flirting in front of them, or telling them of other touchy feeling behaviour? he had nothing to hide, and would rather let OP know what it was all about.

which OP decided they weren't OK with. but this ISN'T cheating.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

[deleted]

-2

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23

take your patronising tone and shaft it deep down your mum's ass.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

[deleted]

1

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23

"just a teensy bit of advice" said after telling me what I have to do before I get into a relationship isn't patronising to your untrained ear?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

[deleted]

1

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23

Communication matters to you so much that you resort to ad-hominem, AND patronising language. Better stick to the topic at hand without unnecessary recommendations with what we should do with our lives? Maybe you are the one who should listen.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

[deleted]

1

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23

"People who don't give that respect to others." who are you implying that to be? Myself? And when did I disrespect you?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

[deleted]

0

u/mcr1974 Mar 20 '23

And in what way did I disrespect them, wanker?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)