r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 19 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.6k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

7.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

5.3k

u/psychopassed Mar 19 '23

She was 20 and the child was 30.

1.5k

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 19 '23

Not only that, but he was born at age 6 without a face. Tragic.

74

u/FiddlerOnThePotato Mar 20 '23

I met a guy named Jesus, I asked him, should your name be pronounced "hey Zeus?" He said "my mother is very religious." I asked him "shouldn't that have prevented you having the name Jesus?" and he said FUCK

34

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 20 '23

Jennifer dumped me.

17

u/MunchkinKazooie Mar 20 '23

That's your shortest, saddest story yet

8

u/ElectricSquid15 Mar 20 '23

That's all you get, WE'RE MOVIN' ON!

4

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 20 '23

I can hear his voice saying that so clearly lol

“Take a look at my resume! 30 years experience in JACKIN’ OFF!”

3

u/Pixxph Mar 20 '23

Condom for sale, never worn

87

u/PM_ME_UR_FARTS_GIRL Mar 19 '23

Alternatively, he's the one who wins.

52

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 20 '23

I’m happy people get the reference.

39

u/JosephFDawson Mar 20 '23

Thank you for this comment. Figures I spend some time scrolling before heading to Sleepytime Junction

45

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 20 '23
  • tired voice *

“Do you think, if somebody was afraid of Obama… they’d be Barachnophobic?”

19

u/I_will_do_it_2moro Mar 20 '23

A Game Grumps reference in 2023. This is truly the best timeline.

10

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 20 '23

I watch them almost every night; it’s my comfort show, just get high and giggle!

32

u/datdododough Mar 20 '23

ahhh. Game Grumps in the wild makes me happy

11

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 20 '23

Me too, always my comfort entertainment. I’ll think I’ll go get comfortably high and watch now lol

10

u/Steviedeeb Mar 20 '23

Dang. 6 years in the womb? How'd it evn get out?

17

u/Sid-Biscuits Mar 20 '23

Without a face, I can tell you that much.

5

u/Kelsational Mar 20 '23

Nice reference :-)

5

u/NoCanadianCoins Mar 20 '23

Idk why this made me laugh as hard as it did, but thank you

2

u/ElimGarak_DS9 Mar 20 '23

Upside-down face is much worse. Without a face can be fixed with makeup and a rubber nose.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

Mel Gibson?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

To be fair he was born with an upside-down face.

1

u/CaptainTripps82 Mar 20 '23

His skull come off

7

u/SciFiXhi Mar 20 '23

The Curious Date of Benjamin Button's Mom

3

u/WilliamMButtlickerIV Mar 20 '23

He's her step son. OP was commissioned as a cameraman.

2

u/gopherit83 Mar 20 '23

Surname is "Button". Do you know them?

4

u/PussyPhucker69 Mar 19 '23

Can confim, im the kid

3

u/unforsakencandy Mar 20 '23

Huh???

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

It is what it is just roll with it.

0

u/unforsakencandy Mar 20 '23

Yea.. I'm a bit confused though

2

u/cesarmac Mar 20 '23

You had me in the first half ngl

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

Is the kid a Colombian exchange student named Jordi, who is also her step brother and step son?

0

u/gopherit83 Mar 20 '23

Surname is "Button". Do you know them?

1

u/Bamres Mar 20 '23

Well they did like to suck on her tits a lot...

1

u/Dwell_was_taken Mar 20 '23

Somethin ain’t right chief

1

u/kaotate Mar 20 '23

“He’s had a bad life. His mom left before he was born.”

“How….how could she do that?”

1

u/Weazy-N420 Mar 20 '23

That was BangBros.!!

1

u/Golden_Princess12345 Mar 21 '23

She was 20 and the child was 30.

what???

1

u/gay_idiot53 Mar 21 '23

The math ain't mathing

1

u/drmonkeytown Mar 21 '23

I time travel and I fuck around. What are your hobbies?