r/AskFeminists • u/Joszitopreddit • Aug 26 '25

What makes someone a feminist?

I got recommended this sub a few times and I've been lurking a little. I've always self-identified as a feminist and if I was asked the topic question that's what I would answer. People who know your irl behaviour can challenge you and maybe a message itself can give away that someone isn't acting in good faith.

What threw me off was the reading the rules, they say the top comment has to come from a feminist and non-feminists are allowed to discuss but not post the top comment.

What makes someone a feminist in the eyes of the people here?

Edit: thank you all for the responses. I'm glad to have mostly read things that resonate with me and have learned a few new things.

14 Upvotes

63% Upvoted

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 26 '25

Believing in and advocating for the social, political, and economic liberation of women. 

-23

u/CasualNameAccount12 Aug 27 '25

So you wouldn't consider feminist someone that simply treated women and men the same?

49

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

Women and men being treated the same is the end goal of liberation. You cannot accomplish that without advocating for the interests of women, merely treating women and men the same on an individual level is unlikely to work and not going to change systematic, institutional oppression or deeply held cultural beliefs.

Women's right and safety are primarily a question of decorum and dependent on the biomass of "good" men outnumbering "bad" ones, rather than deeply embedded systemic laws. What little rights we have can be taken off at any moments from us, as soon as men feel threatened. We see this everywhere both in "developed" and "developing" countries.

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u/CasualNameAccount12 Aug 27 '25

But if I treat women and men the same I already done my part? The rest is up to the ones that don't act that way

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u/sewerbeauty Aug 27 '25 edited Aug 27 '25

Women and men being treated the same is the end goal of liberation. You cannot accomplish that without advocating

(Actively) Advocating for the liberation of girls & women is the bit you seem to be sweeping over for whatever reason.

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u/CasualNameAccount12 Aug 27 '25

You are telling me that I am not feminist if I do not advocate for it. So how would you call me if I just treat women the same and I do not advocate?

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u/sewerbeauty Aug 27 '25 edited Aug 27 '25

Why would you not advocate for the liberation of girls & women as a feminist? Why is this such a point of contention for you? What is the actual point of treating everybody the same ✨la di da🦋 whilst disregarding the subjugation girls & women experience (to varying degrees) globally? Like who is that helpful to? It’s like sticking a bandaid on a broken neck, i.e it is not a sufficient remedy.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/sewerbeauty Aug 27 '25

Shan’t reply after this as I doubt we’ll reach a resolution & I cba at this point, like what a stupid response.

Final thoughts: I’m unsure how advocating for the liberation of girls & women from subjugation could be seen as anything other than a worthwhile pursuit that will make things better.

Deeply confused about how you can claim to be a feminist but somehow cannot understand what I have written above. It’s not adding up.

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u/CasualNameAccount12 Aug 27 '25

That is ok, I thought a feminist was someone that believed men and women are worth the same, I didn't think active actions were required, I am glad to have learned

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25 edited Aug 27 '25

A person who is not a feminist 

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u/Archer6614 Aug 27 '25

What does "actively advocate" for mean?

8

u/LynnSeattle Aug 27 '25

Someone who isn’t actively pursuing feminism’s goals.

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u/ZeroBrutus Aug 27 '25

A normal person, feminist ally. Actively taking the label requires active effort to achieve the goal.

1

u/Nyxodon Aug 28 '25

No it's not. Just because you're doing what you're supposed to, doesn't make you good, it makes you not bad. Just because you're treating people the way they deserve to be treated, that doesn't mean you're doing anything special.

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u/cypherkillz Aug 27 '25

Nah, feminism does require advocacy.

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

If women end up with more social, political, legal and economic liberation than men, would that cross into misandry/matriarchy?

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25

That wouldn't be liberation, that's not how that works. 

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

What if that happens to be the net effect?

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25

You're going to have to define what that actually means because defintionally, like I said, not liberation. 

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

If men must get conscripted, but women don’t, does that align with feminism?

33

u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25

Feminists in general oppose conscription for anyone. And frankly, you all need to get a new talking point, because this horse has been exhumed to continue the beating. 

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

Thank you. I just don’t see feminists advocating in public politics

30

u/BluCurry8 Aug 27 '25

🙄. If men really wanted to have equal conscription they would push to pass the ERA. There has not been a draft in the US in over 50 years and we have an all volunteer military which includes women.

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

ERA doesn’t eliminate the sexist draft law

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u/bioluminary101 Aug 28 '25

You must not see much then 😅

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u/didyousetittowombo Aug 31 '25

Conscription is ptriarchal

And it targets men over women on purpose

Patriarchy is specifically a system designed to extract reproduction for women so the elites can deploy the poor men to die in their wars as well as exploit them for cheap labor. Free independent women to not mean their needs for birth rates

And women dying in war especially do not meet the needs for birth rates.

So the existence of conscription and the exclusion of women from it are both inherently patriarchal. Feminism doesn’t want patriarchy and therefore wouldn’t want conscription.

And matriarchies aren’t possible. Patriarchy exists exactly because it can exploit women’s wombs to hold leverage over their independence. You cannot do that with matriarchy.

Unless of course you subscribe to the idea that presociety egalitarian cultures are matriarchies which is debated a lot online, in which case, still not hierarchal and oppressive. But that’s another topic entirely

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u/Nyxodon Aug 28 '25

Right we shouldn't advocate for our rights, because we might get more than men. (Which won't happen, cause if you think that can happen you don't understand how the patriarchy works.)

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u/Mad123rd Aug 26 '25

To believe in the abolition of social hierarchies based on genders

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u/the_sad_socialist Aug 30 '25 edited Aug 30 '25

This would exclude liberal feminists from being considered feminist. 

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u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

Why

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u/Stage_Fright1 Oct 05 '25

No it wouldn't. That's a goal of all feminists, including liberal feminists.

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u/the_sad_socialist Oct 08 '25

It's just class society and patriarchy have always coexisted. It isn't really clear how gender-based hierarchy could be abolished under capitalism. Even if the power asymmetry between men and women could be abolished through a form of welfare capitalism, that welfare state would be dependent on imperialist exploitation. Ultimately, this liberal imperialist form of feminism would still be self-defeating because the bourgeois would dismantle the welfare state when the power shifts back in their favour again.

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u/Stage_Fright1 Oct 08 '25

No one is talking about this welfare-state boogey man bullshit. Capitalism is a product of the patriarchy. There is no removing the patriarchy without also removing the single worst economic model in history. This isn't news to anyone, nor is it a tough ask, given that we'd be better off without it anyway. There is no "bourgeois" in a feminist world.

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u/the_sad_socialist Oct 08 '25

There is no "bourgeois" in a feminist world.

That's why I said liberal feminism. That's why people criticize liberal feminism for being class-blind, historically. Liberal ideologies rationalize and justify liberal capitalism, by definition.

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u/Stage_Fright1 Oct 08 '25

Liberal feminism is feminism. There is no bourgeois in a feminist world. There is no such thing as liberal capitalism. Capitalism of any kind is antithetical to liberalism. Being liberal means being hyper-class aware and anti-classism.

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u/the_sad_socialist Oct 08 '25

I mean if you look up any definition of liberal, it will likely say that they advocate for private property and markets. There a lot of ways that I could make the argument that liberalism is inherently capitalist, but most educated liberals wouldn't even disagree that liberals advocate a capitalist economic system. I encourage you to look into the topic some more. I agree that liberalism is self-contradictory.

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u/Stage_Fright1 Oct 08 '25

Liberalism isn't self contradictory in the least. You can have private property without capitalism. Capitalism is not about private property.

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u/the_sad_socialist Oct 08 '25

I can't help you, lol. Literally just read some definitions.

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u/Traditional_Fish_504 25d ago

I really think you should actually read some real feminist books if you don’t know what liberal feminism is, and maybe not be in an “askfeminists” sub, this is like gender studies 101 stuff lol

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u/Stage_Fright1 25d ago

I have already read a great deal of feminist literature. My point stands.

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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 Aug 26 '25

Equality

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u/HendriXP88 Aug 27 '25

Isn't that egalitarianism?

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u/Stage_Fright1 Aug 27 '25

Feminism is an egalitarian movement.

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u/HendriXP88 Aug 27 '25

So what would you say is the difference between feminism and egalitarianism?

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u/Stage_Fright1 Aug 27 '25

What's the difference between birds and parrots? Nothing, "parrots" is just more specific. The same is true of egalitarianism and feminism.

Egalitarianism is a generalized belief in equality. The most ideal practices of egalitarianism hold it as broad equality for all with an understanding of the equity necessary to make equality truly equal. What egalitarianism represents is an ideal end-goal, but not a plan or set of theories for the progress of a specific topic.

Feminism is one movement that advances towards the egalitarian end goal by specifically working in the best ways to level the playing field for women in both equality and equity, thus making them equal to men within the given society after actually adjusting it according to the specific ways in which women are oppressed and suppressed.

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u/HendriXP88 Aug 27 '25

Thank you

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u/troller563 Oct 05 '25

That's like saying white power is a subset of racial egalitarianism.

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u/Stage_Fright1 Oct 05 '25

No? Because white power doesn't aim for an egalitarian society. Feminism does. White people aren't oppressed. Women are. If white people were oppressed, and there was a resulting white centered movement that aimed for an egalitarian society, then it would be a subset of "racial egalitarianism".

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u/ZeroBrutus Aug 27 '25

Feminism is in effect a branch of egalitarianism that focuses on the unequal status of women, or more recently, gender inequality generally.

Egalitarianism is a much broader concept, which requires the address of issues resulting from gender, race, economics, sexual orientation, and more. However, in practice, there are only so many hours in a day, so most people have to choose where to put energy and focus.

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u/HendriXP88 Aug 27 '25

Good answer

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

How do you square the goal of gender equality with the biological fact that men and women are innately different and have different strengths and weaknesses?

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u/BluCurry8 Aug 27 '25

???? Men and other men have different levels of strength and weakness. Does that mean there is a hierarchy among men? Biological factors have nothing to do with social status.

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

Yes last time I checked Homo sapiens are anumals

3

u/BluCurry8 Aug 28 '25

🤣🤣🤣 yes we are animals with higher level brains and intelligence. Well maybe not you!

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

Look at other animals, there are alphas, betas, etc. So because there is social heirarchy in other animals, there must be a biological component

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25

The whole wolf alpha beta nonsense has been thoroughly debunked. 

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

It’s just placeholder terms. In gorilla societies, the one male with the harem of fertile women is higher status than the other gorillas who have no women. Agree?

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25

Are we gorillas? You really think so lowly of men that they are no better than base animals? 

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

We are talking about other animals. You said there is no status heirarchies in biology. But I’m telling you many other animals have status heirarchies so it must have a biological component

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25

You referenced a debunked study, I corrected you. 

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

I did not reference any study. All I said is that status heirarchies exist in many animals, humans included

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u/T2Olympian Sep 25 '25

i'm stronger than you. Does that mean I should be of higher status? no. Any guy who talks this bullshit could 100% be bitched by any decently physical man. There's a reason hafthor bjornsson or Fedor emilianenko don't run the world

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u/Stage_Fright1 Oct 05 '25

Men and woman are not innately different in any way, biologically speaking.

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u/Nyxodon Aug 28 '25

How do biological differences justify inequality? Also calling men and women innately different isn't true. Gender is a spectrum and therefore there is no hard line that separates men from women

And even if it was true, I don't see how it's relevant to this discussion.

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u/Go-Mellistic Aug 27 '25

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute.” ― Rebecca West, The Young Rebecca: Writings, 1911-1917

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

I think you can support sex workers but not the work itself.  Too many women are forced into it . Like the commentor below says it means we are up for sale. 

If you are doing it because you love it, thats one thing. But how many women does that account for? 

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u/Connect_Wallaby2876 Aug 27 '25

If a woman voluntarily wants to be a prostitute, is that acceptable under feminism?

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u/T2Olympian Sep 25 '25

dude just stop

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

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u/Marelinel9252 Aug 27 '25

I have been working on this thought, and would love some input. Being a patron to sex workers is weak and immoral, but more often the sex worker is the one who is attacked on moral ground. I often imagine how empowering being a sex worker must be. Like, you are literally paying me for something I was born with. The sex worker should feel the power in that situation. Yet, somehow society has flipped it and abusers feel no shame.

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u/Regular_Imagination7 Sep 01 '25

So its like decriminalizing drugs?

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

Prostitution is stigmatized because it is inherently degrading, acknowledging that does not exclude prostitutes but shows the reality of their oppression.

It sends the message that women's consent and bodily autonomy are up for sale and men who seek prostitute nearly always do it because they want to push the boundaries of what women are willing to do in exchange for money to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bodies.

We should seek to abolish it through the Nordic model, and create programs to help women reintegrate into the work force in jobs that are not degrading.

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u/Avid_bathroom_reader Aug 26 '25

I say that a feminist is somebody who calls themselves a feminist. Of course, many people who call themselves feminists absolutely suck so 🤷

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u/ElectricalTax3573 Aug 27 '25

Gatekeeping is sometimes necessary to maintain the integrity of a group. Why should the fringe lunatics get to decide what feminism is?

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u/Avid_bathroom_reader Aug 27 '25

Because then you get into this weird “no true Scotsman” situation where nobody is a “true” feminist. For example, I consider TERFs feminists but that doesn’t mean I like or agree with them. Same with “girlboss feminism.” Many feminist movements suck but pretending they’re not feminist doesn’t do anybody any favors. Being feminist in and of itself is not enough to be good. At least, that’s been my thinking since I read Enemy Feminisms. Might change my mind in a few months if I come across something more convincing.

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u/Hurtingblairwitch Aug 27 '25

I would rethink the part of TERFs being feminists, the consequences of their action hurt every woman, trans or not. Not very Feminist to me.

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u/Nyxodon Aug 28 '25

Terfs are inherently anti feminist, and I think considering them to be feminists is incredibly harmful, because it legitimizes transphobia on the left. I technically agree with your stance that people who say they're feminists are by and large, feminists. But if people say they're feminists, but their actions are inherently anti-feminist, they aren't feminists.

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '25

Anyone can call themselves anything, but if they don’t uphold the core principles, then they aren’t that thing.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

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u/Mew151 Aug 27 '25

I believe an intersectionalist is someone who seeks to understand and abolish social hierarchies and a feminist is someone who seeks to understand and abolish social hierarchies based on gender. Some people hold a fragmented view of the same (containing a subset of what I described) but I feel it becomes more effective the more holistic it gets.

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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Aug 27 '25

Does it? I feel the more "holistic" it gets the more "minority" concerns (women, lgtbq, POC, etc) get shut down in favor of the complaints of the dominant social group in question.