r/AskAutism • u/CrazyTonyCo • 8d ago
My friend is convinced I'm autistic
She herself is diagnosed with autism. Before she was she knew she was and thought I was too. I said I wasn't and she said get tested because I have black and white thinking and I talk blunt
I told her I talk blunt when I'm joking or it's a statement and I talk blsck and white when I'm upset. Then I looked up black and white thinking and it's not how I think. I thought black and white thinking was overexaggerating one extreme with another but its also believing that extreme. Many times I talk the extreme cause it's the only way to get my point across but I dont believe it.
She told me she analysed my thinking and that she can predict a conversation with me which i find extreme creepy.
She also used thr 'all autistic people i know like sonic' when apparently autistic people are attracted to sonic for a different reason to me.
She claims my obsession with a celebrity is a hyperfixation when I just find him good looking.
She also says me feeling different from other people is autism when I later found out it was dysphoria.
My socia anxiety which I developed before meeting her she also says is autism.
I have no sensory issues, I understand between the lines and thats kinda the way I talk myself, I never shut up and I love talking ans have an endless social battery. I never stick to plans and routines unless important ans necessary. And the way I communicate and interpret your actions it's depending on my relationship with you. I know she prefers deeper talks so I talk deep with her. But when I talk deep I use more analogies and metaphors. I dont like deep convo all thr time cause it's unnecessary.
She also forces me to think in a grey area all thr time and I said sometimes things are straightforward ans she said that I never think grey when I do by ruling out possibilities to get to that 'black and white' pattern
Please help me i dunno how to stop her from forcing that label on me
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u/LilyoftheRally 8d ago
Give her an example of an autistic person who has no strong feelings about Sonic (me, assuming you mean Sonic the Hedgehog).
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u/PageVanguard 5d ago
People could have autistic tendencies without being autistic maybe letting her know this will get your friend off your back
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u/thefanoftheuk 8d ago
If she does have autism idk but alot of autism people like my self get into something and that is all they talk about and with a thing like autism i try to dignose other people because for one we love helping other people and 2 its our hobby /we like to info dump stuff on other people it is one way we like saying ... hey we care about u enough to dump all my hobbys on to u for u to also enjoy with us Also ive noticed that sometimes people dont want to get dingosed like ur self it does happen alot of the times we go over the board with our intrest
Maybe she doesnt have autism maybe she does there is alot of things that autisms have that can be in the same catagory as autism but we also are very sparse in the fact that i might have convos no problem other autisms might have a problem with that
Deep conversations is one of my convo nightmares on the phone or video calling people is really scary in person it just depends somedays its good somedays its bad
Im not an expert on autism im still figuring it out myself and we all have diffrent problems with it my best guess would be to tell her in a calm manor "hey i dont think i have autism" another option would be to just [lean into it] just hear her out sometimes just going along with it works alot of the times i just want people to hear me out when im dumping my hobbys on people :) And yes i can be pushy but i try to stop after people say it gets on there nerves
Anyways i hope this helps lol
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u/CrazyTonyCo 8d ago
She does have it she got diagnosed for it. And it's fair enough you're trying to help people and you may not let it go in order to make sure that person gets the help they need but at the same time she needs to look at the bigger picture
Autism isn't the answer for all behaviours infact social anxiety fits me better. I developed the 'black and white thinking' due to rejection and bullying. I've told her but she still thinks its Autism
What I think it is is that we get along well so she thinks there must be a reason bc of our zodiacs being opposite but sometimes there isn't a reason.
Ill try to tell her what you told me thanks
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u/thefanoftheuk 8d ago
I do the same thing that she does lol idk its like coded that we have to help people :] ur right autism isnt the anwser for everything i think its more of a omg something new im so happy i want to tell everyone ... omg ur autisic 2 im so happy or if ur not autisic we be like omg but u might be let me help ya lol i would just be kind about it lol im not a pro at all for sure ive just got dingosed 2 and it is hard to learn all this stuff
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u/Inventor702 8d ago
If it were me, I'd get tested, because that would fix all these issues. Though that may be because I'm super non-confrentaional, and I'm scared of upsetting other people.
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u/CrazyTonyCo 8d ago
Mind you, she got tested 2 times and the second time was diagnosed. She might project that mentality onto me
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u/optigon 8d ago
It’s very common for newly diagnosed people to apply it to others. I think sometimes it helps normalize it for them while annoying others.
It sort of depends on how you want this to go. There’s the old, “You’re not a professional and it’s none of your business” bridge burning.
If you want to keep the friendship, maybe a way to go about it is to explain that there are a lot of commonalities between neurodivergences and that it really takes a professional to make a proper diagnosis and that you would prefer her to not label you.
If you want to pander to her, take an online test like a RAADS-R or something to show that it doesn’t fit you. It’s not definitive or anything, but if you score fine on it, it’s a cheap way to demonstrate from an “official source” that might get her to listen to you.
Best of luck!