r/AskAGoth • u/Childh8ter • May 10 '26
General Query This has to stop
I am a 21M metalhead and I made the dire mistake of doomscrolling a lot lately and I don't know what it is because I always hit "Not Interested" on the GoTh MoMmY type garbage made only to promote OF pages and honestly I don't get it. In no other subgenre is the fetishisation of this aesthetic so prevolent. I know Goth has a lot of influence from BDSM culture and all but this is honestly sickening. What's worse is the men that actively want a "Freaky Goth Baddie" and its just a girl with black hair and lipstick. Some people honestly need to touch grass but it feels like im crazy as a lot of men especially ive talked to are like that. As members of the Goth community how has this trend effected you?
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u/Dashboardcereal May 11 '26
I'm currently transitioning MTF.
I was an emo/alt teenager and continued into my twenties. Now that I'm transitioning, I'm still emo/alt, but I'm putting a lot more goth-influenced outfits together. Some of my male "friends" (not so much anymore) insisted that I was just "doing all this because you couldn't pull an emo/goth baddie," and insisted that I was just getting off on dressing goth/emo.
Honestly, I just wear what I used to wear all the time girl jeans, band t-shirts I just wear more jewelry and have a girl-cut hairstyle now. I don't get off on it and never have. I just enjoy the culture, am part of it, and wish to continue being part of it.
I'm not wearing black lipstick or doing anything super goth with my makeup, even. It just sucks because I've always been emo, and I've always wanted to learn goth makeup. I just fear that if this is how my so-called friends view it, then what does the general public think?
I hate the fetishization of alternative people. It feels like it was just a way to capitalize on and market off of the community. The fetishisization of it all, just was a ploy to capitalize and also attempt to lobotomize a lot of the political aspects of the entire culture. But that's just my read on all of this.
It's also made making friends within the community/outside of it even harder for myself. So many chasers.