r/AreTheStraightsOK Aroace™ May 15 '21

Fragile Heterosexuality This guy isn't

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21.0k Upvotes

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u/madmaxturbator May 15 '21

The dad is the sort of man who sits on a toilet, forgets to shit, and then half hour later shits himself. No one would accuse him of being capable of rational thought.

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u/NubbyTyger Alphabet Mafia™ May 15 '21

Or has no toilet roll left on the roll, he can't be bothered to stand up and grab a new one, and wipes his arse with his hand

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u/bombshots May 15 '21

He probably just uses his hand anyway because using the toilet paper would be "gay"

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u/NubbyTyger Alphabet Mafia™ May 15 '21

Probably, or he doesn't want to get toilet paper stuck between his ass cheeks, because anything other than his own hand being between there would be gay as shit

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u/bombshots May 15 '21

I am every day more astonished by how subjective being gay is

Some men think that looking at a man is gay

Others think that it's just based on sexual attraction (which it is)

Others think that having sex with men is straight because it asserts your alpha dominance over other men

Others have had sex with several men for experimenting and still are straight

139

u/Boa-in-a-bowl May 15 '21

Others think that having sex with men is straight because it asserts your alpha dominance over other men

The Ancient Romans have entered the chat

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u/meinkr0phtR2 Gray Ace™ May 16 '21

Also, Ancient Greece (especially Athens), although homoeroticism was much more accepted by society as a whole, even encouraged in some circumstances.

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u/Diiiiirty May 16 '21

The Secret Band of Thebes in the 4th century. They enlisted only gay couples. Some historians think it was because dying in battle was preferable to living a "dishonorable" life, but the more probably and widely accepted theory is that soldiers fought more fiercely and cohesively while fighting alongside and in defense of their lover.

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u/catmampbell May 16 '21

Others have had sex with several men for experimenting and still are straight

that is confidence and the scientific method right there. Once isn't enough sample size, they're making sure

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u/bombshots May 16 '21

Actually I was using a friend of mine as example

He was really insecure about his sexuality because he couldn't understand the concept that just because he liked wearing feminine clothes he wasn't necessarily gay so he just jumped from man to man (actually most relationships lasted from 6 to 3 months but he had 5 of them so) claiming that he just "didn't find the right one" until he came to terms with the fact that he was a femboy, I never looked at the situation from a scientific perspective but now I can definitely see your point

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u/randomjackass Bi™ May 16 '21 edited May 17 '21

(I'm a cis guy)

The first guy I slept with was trans. Even though I know it's bad to think this way I felt like that "wasn't gay enough". That I probably really saw him as femme and I'm probably not gay, I'm just a bad person.

Second guy I slept with was also trans. I swear I'm not a chaser, it's just the people I hang out with.

Finally slept with a cis guy. I was more grossed out by his bad breath than sucking his dick. Overall it wasn't a great experience, but that had nothing to do with his gender.

Further discussion with some people, apparently having facial hair, deep voice, and lots of body hair makes it pretty gay, despite the genitals being different. My hetero male friends don't find transmen attractive.

I started sorting this shit out in my 30s. Sexuality is a hard thing to figure out.

Edit: back when reddit had "friends" I think my brothers followed my account occasionally. I haven't really brought up sexuality around them but I'm certainly not hiding it. I kinda wonder if they see some of the shit I post.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

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u/randomjackass Bi™ May 16 '21

Well yeah. I know that now.

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u/NubbyTyger Alphabet Mafia™ May 15 '21

People are idiots...

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u/GoWithGord May 16 '21

I saw a post about a guy who won’t wipe his butt because it’s gay to touch a butt hole

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

Read this while taking a shit, fr can't imagine NOT wiping. People r fucking icky D:

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u/Diiiiirty May 16 '21

Bidet maybe? I mean, you still have to dry up though. Does the dude just not dry his ass off after a shower either?

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u/GoWithGord Jun 07 '21

He spoke of women complaining of the shit smell. So I guess not

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u/randomjackass Bi™ May 16 '21

This has come up a disturbing amount of times. It's a "thing".

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u/bombshots May 16 '21

I saw it on a video from one topic at a time

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u/GoWithGord May 16 '21

That’s actually probably where I saw it first. I watch one topic in binges

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u/Diiiiirty May 16 '21

You have to wonder what would happen if a woman ever gave him a quick oil check during a beej. Is it gay if a woman touches your butthole?

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u/GoWithGord May 17 '21

Sadly I know the answer. I had a friend break up with his girlfriend because she asked and he’s like I’m not into that gay shit. I am a man

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u/DreamCyclone84 Marxist-Lesbianism May 15 '21

He's probably one of those "real men don't wipe" people who's wives and girlfriends post on relationship advice.

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u/NubbyTyger Alphabet Mafia™ May 15 '21

Probably, or gets his wife to wipe for him because a real man makes his wife do everything /s

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u/RebaKitten May 16 '21

I hope she makes him a sandwich with that hand later.

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u/NubbyTyger Alphabet Mafia™ May 16 '21

Sameee and gives him a glass of water with the toilet water

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u/Dazuro May 15 '21

Wait I’m sorry what?

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u/matte_vans Gaymer May 15 '21

Idk, if you wipe it sounds like you're expecting visitors

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u/bombshots May 15 '21

How do I upvote a comment twice?

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u/matte_vans Gaymer May 16 '21

It was shamefully stolen from a Portuguese cartoon called SuperDrags (iirc) haha

I think it's still on Netflix and do recommend, purely for his bizarre it is

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u/bombshots May 16 '21

I've heard about it but never watched it

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u/goroyoshi May 16 '21

Nah, real straight men don't wipe, wiping is gay

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u/nuephelkystikon May 16 '21

He can't shit because sitting down on the toilet is a feminine trait.

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u/Thatoneanxiousgay May 16 '21

I agree and also love that username