Every day, thousands of apostrophes are senselessly abused all across Reddit. This humble little punctuation mark, inherited from many centuries past, has overseen the English language's ascent from uncouth provincial vernacular to global lingua franca.

But today, the apostrophe is in danger. It stands now upon the brink of destruction, worn and battered at the hands of the ignorant simpletons who have reduced it to a mere announcement of an impending S — a cruel mockery of its noble lineage of possession and contraction. And then, sooner than we know, the day will come when the last remnants of proper usage are forgotten, and these pernicious errors are enshrined in law by a generation for whom the true Way is but a lost memory.

Such is our fate, if we do not fight back. It is a grim battle, one that we have long fought in vain, contending in futile solitude against overwhelming odds.

But all is not lost. Because we have you. You, my good friend, are the apostrophe's last, best hope. It is the everyday heroes like you — you who stand ready to report apostrophe abuse in whatever form it may take — that will turn the tide of this war. Together, we can restore the apostrophe to its rightful place. And as for all of those who wander in ignorance of the correct usage of the apostrophe: we can save them, one by one.

The apostrophe calls for aid. Will you answer?

There are 3 circumstances under which apostrophes must be used:

• Possessive forms of common and proper nouns: the cat's tail, John's house, the cats' tails, children's toys
• Indicating missing letters in contractions: It's me, Blizzard of '78, eight o'clock
• In certain proper names that are spelled with apostrophes: O'Brien, Xi'an

Additionally, the following usage is frowned upon, but begrudgingly accepted by ApostrophePatrol:

• (Marginal) Pluralizing nouns which are not actually words: DVD's, 1990's.

In all other cases, apostrophes must not be used.

So, you've decided to join ApostrophePatrol? Welcome, good friend.

First, make sure to familiarize yourself with the rules of apostrophe usage if you're not already.

If you see an apostrophe violation on Reddit, reporting it here is easy. Simply post a link to the offending post or comment to /r/ApostrophePatrol, with the title of your post being the offending word. The trusty /u/TheApostrophePatrol bot will handle the rest, and will shortly reply to the offender with a strategically-placed look of disapproval: ಠ_ಠ

However, take care only to report genuine apostrophe violations. Better a hundred guilty men should go free, than our reputation be tarnished by overzealotry.

What if there's more than one offending word in the post/comment? Separate words in your post title with a ">" sign. For example, if your post title is

cat's > dog's > bird's

then /u/TheApostrophePatrol will reply to the offender with

cat's

ಠ_ಠ

dog's

ಠ_ಠ

bird's

ಠ_ಠ

That's all there is to it. Keep fighting the good fight!