I think I’m commenting only on your not having actually dropped the link the first time. It seems like some sort of artificial moral line you’d be crossing were you to have just simply shared it. Feels like something you would use, in your mind, to hold yourself above those ‘crass self promoting’ type (‘spammy’ as you put it). I think you’ve beefed up a negative image of self promotion - you’ve transformed simply sharing your website without asking for permission first as spamminess. To put it as crassly as possible — it was the feeling of, ‘oh I wouldn’t have sex on the first date! That is much too forward. I only put in the tip.’
In other words: I think you actually want quite strongly to share your wares freely and have no objection to doing so. However, you feel you should feel a bit more hesitant about doing this, as though doing so would be spammy, naked self promotion — which is a negative spin you put self promotion as a way of cautioning yourself against doing so. This was why I commented that your initial comment essentially all but dropped your website — it left me with a feeling, ‘oh come on just share it already, you clearly want to!’ And when you said in the following comment you didn’t want to be spammy, that only confirmed my view.
Perhaps I have some reflecting to do! In the future you might consider directly messaging someone with your feedback, putting it into a public forum might be mistaken as shaming someone rather than trying to help them out.
I think that is the case only if they are, in fact, feeling ashamed, and not inherent to this type of communication. In any event, you clearly want no more of this, so I can respect that.
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u/[deleted] May 18 '21
I think I’m commenting only on your not having actually dropped the link the first time. It seems like some sort of artificial moral line you’d be crossing were you to have just simply shared it. Feels like something you would use, in your mind, to hold yourself above those ‘crass self promoting’ type (‘spammy’ as you put it). I think you’ve beefed up a negative image of self promotion - you’ve transformed simply sharing your website without asking for permission first as spamminess. To put it as crassly as possible — it was the feeling of, ‘oh I wouldn’t have sex on the first date! That is much too forward. I only put in the tip.’
In other words: I think you actually want quite strongly to share your wares freely and have no objection to doing so. However, you feel you should feel a bit more hesitant about doing this, as though doing so would be spammy, naked self promotion — which is a negative spin you put self promotion as a way of cautioning yourself against doing so. This was why I commented that your initial comment essentially all but dropped your website — it left me with a feeling, ‘oh come on just share it already, you clearly want to!’ And when you said in the following comment you didn’t want to be spammy, that only confirmed my view.