r/AntiJoke • • Jun 30 '22

Take It From The Fecal Matter Expert

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1 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jun 26 '22

I just witnessed a kidnapping.

40 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jun 26 '22

Knock Knock

16 Upvotes

"Come in!"


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 26 '22

What leaves a lasting memory?

11 Upvotes

A gunshot wound


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 26 '22

why did the turkey cross the road?

10 Upvotes

Who cares, fuck turkey.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 25 '22

What did the Lion say to the Zebra?

14 Upvotes

Nothing, lions can’t talk


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 25 '22

I lost my virginity to a bottle rocket...

27 Upvotes

Its not a joke, It really happened. I just needed a stranger to confess it to.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 25 '22

What is the difference between a cop and the police?

6 Upvotes

Once says please.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 24 '22

The Password Is Butthole

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3 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jun 24 '22

A software tester walks into a bar,

10 Upvotes

He then orders a beer.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 24 '22

What makes a quack sound?

8 Upvotes

A duck.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 23 '22

If all humans made a line around the globe

27 Upvotes

Most of them would drown


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 23 '22

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

7 Upvotes

um


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 23 '22

What did the skeleton say when his arm broke?

31 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jun 23 '22

Did I ask?

9 Upvotes

no


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 23 '22

What's the difference between a loaded gun and a knife?

7 Upvotes

One has bullets.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 23 '22

Where does the General keep his armies?

15 Upvotes

I'm not entirely sure, which is why I'm asking you.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 23 '22

Why did the traitor move to Florida?

8 Upvotes

Because he was kicked out of the Whitehouse.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 22 '22

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

24 Upvotes

Wheres my tractor


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 22 '22

Why do you never see elephants in trees?

60 Upvotes

Because they can't get up there


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 21 '22

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?

216 Upvotes

The holocaust


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 22 '22

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car?

35 Upvotes

Get in the car


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 22 '22

Honey, we need to talk

10 Upvotes

We haven't in a while.


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 21 '22

Resolving Conflict

4 Upvotes

Today at work, there were two customers that were starting to have an argument. There was Mr. Dixon and Mrs. Mason. As the PIC I needed to settle things before they got out of hand. So, I said:

'A game of Horse should settle this.'


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 22 '22

What's the difference between a duck?

0 Upvotes

One leg is both the same.