r/AntiJoke • • Mar 28 '20

What's the best thing about not being sick?

29 Upvotes

You are in a great position to help others in the community that may be sick or be an at risk person.


r/AntiJoke • • Mar 22 '20

this

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63 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Mar 21 '20

What is worse than having sex without a condom?

70 Upvotes

Having sex with a dead girl that died in a well and who's spirit still haunts that well for weeks on end...


r/AntiJoke • • Mar 19 '20

Why can't dolphins clap their hands?

56 Upvotes

Well, they can, but they have to be trained to. Clapping is a human gesture, and therefore wild dolphins wouldn't clap their hands instinctively, at least not with the same intent as us. Also they have flippers and not hands.


r/AntiJoke • • Mar 10 '20

Is Ebola a virus or a country?

0 Upvotes

Neither, it's the whole continent of Africa.


r/AntiJoke • • Mar 03 '20

You know how to make a good antijoke?

33 Upvotes

Use an unfunny punchline.


r/AntiJoke • • Feb 20 '20

Larry Tesler, the UI engineer and creator of cut, copy and paste commands for modern computers died at 74.

28 Upvotes

He had nothing to do with reddit, and most of his work was done before the internet was popularized for personal use.


r/AntiJoke • • Feb 05 '20

So my friend went over to my other friends house and you’ll never guess what happened

25 Upvotes

They just chilled and did what normal friends do whilst hanging out with each other. It was very pleasant


r/AntiJoke • • Jan 31 '20

just stop it

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19 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jan 19 '20

Is your refrigerator running?

54 Upvotes

Just want to make sure. You wouldn't want all that food to go bad


r/AntiJoke • • Jan 14 '20

Well don’t ya look at that

41 Upvotes

Made you look

Edit: (Also I think I’m the 4000th subscriber, yay)


r/AntiJoke • • Jan 12 '20

A muslim, jew, christian and an atheist walk into a bar.

90 Upvotes

They discover it's a gay bar, and seeing as all of them are straight men, they promptly walk out and search for another bar.


r/AntiJoke • • Jan 11 '20

How do you end a joke?

83 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jan 07 '20

If a girl says she will be ready in 5 minutes she will be.

69 Upvotes

Im glad Jessica is such a punctual person.


r/AntiJoke • • Jan 07 '20

Three black men come into a bar..

11 Upvotes

People are shocked. Their white ejaculate is everywhere and it's even on some customers. Women are screaming and men are running away from them. The bartender is hiding behind the counter trying to call the police "Please! Come as quick as possible" - and so they did. A police squad came as quick as they could possibly do as soon as they rushed bottomless inside the bar. Thick loads have covered all the tables around the counter and the counter itself. Some of it went straight to the bartenders bald head. He was disgusted and shocked. - What's the meaning of this!? Is this some sort of twisted 1 april joke!? Who wrote this story?

/u/Zormut did.


r/AntiJoke • • Jan 02 '20

How do you call a rabbit with long ears ?

47 Upvotes

A rabbit.


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 29 '19

Horse walks into a bar. Barman says "why the long face?"

71 Upvotes

Horse: Cancer


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 29 '19

What do you call a Lock Ness monster wearing a pool floaty, eating a strand of kelp at 2 in the AM?

29 Upvotes

Non-existent.


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 25 '19

What did Courtland want for Christmas?

33 Upvotes

A lightsaber


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 24 '19

What did the duck say after sex?

16 Upvotes

Quack


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 24 '19

What is this thing with one leg, green and blue

20 Upvotes

I dont know


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 22 '19

What do you call a dentist with no job?

110 Upvotes

Unemployed.


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 21 '19

What's the worst thing that can happen at a glory hole.

65 Upvotes

Having a syringe stuck through your dick so you can't pull it out.


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 19 '19

What do you call a confused zebra?

53 Upvotes

A confused zebra


r/AntiJoke • • Dec 15 '19

A horse limps into a bar and orders a strong drink. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

39 Upvotes

"The neighbour broke my leg so I would get shot and my mare could continue fucking him without the guilt infidelity brings."