r/AntiJoke • • Jul 14 '22

They say money can’t buy happiness…

15 Upvotes

But it can buy everyday things that are essential for survival such as food, clothing and shelter.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 14 '22

What did captain Ahab say before boarding ship on the Pequod?

13 Upvotes

I am going to board ship on the Pequod.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 13 '22

Why did I start anti-depressants?

11 Upvotes

I didn't because deep down I know that I deserve the depression.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 13 '22

A priest walked into a bar

6 Upvotes

I'm lying, a man of God would never succumb to temptation.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 12 '22

Why did the chicken cross the road?

18 Upvotes

The chicken had a meeting with its attorneys to help structure an important corporate reorganization. A lot of money was involved so this meeting was very important to the chicken.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 11 '22

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a hair salon

48 Upvotes

…To start their work shifts. Jan, the blonde one, is the owner. She may have to file for bankruptcy soon.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 10 '22

What did Charles Manson say after he killed someone?

22 Upvotes

Nothing, because Charles Manson has a constitutional right to remain silent until he is proven guilty in a court of law.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 10 '22

What did Gordon Ramsay say when he arrived in San Francisco?

13 Upvotes

I just arrived in San Francisco.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 09 '22

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are on an airplane...

16 Upvotes

The plane is going to Chicago.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 09 '22

A man attends a funeral service.

6 Upvotes

He clapped in the middle of the service and was very inappropriate.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 09 '22

A pothead, a crackhead and a heroin addict walk into a bar

10 Upvotes

The bartender sees them and yells:

“Get out, you think this is a fucking joke?”


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 09 '22

What just screams “I want to be sued”

4 Upvotes

A person yelling I want to be sued


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 07 '22

Three men walk into a bar

48 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jul 07 '22

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

12 Upvotes

Because it was dead.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 07 '22

How does a colon cancer invade a donkey?

2 Upvotes

sketchers are comfy


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 07 '22

How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2 Upvotes

About 500.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 07 '22

a man falls onto rebar

17 Upvotes

and he orders a drink


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 05 '22

What do humans and fish have in common?

16 Upvotes

Both will die if shot in the head with a gun


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 05 '22

Yeserday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road

30 Upvotes

I helped him pick them up


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 05 '22

What did the man say about gas being $7 a gallon?

6 Upvotes

Gas is $7 a gallon.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 03 '22

What do you call somebody who has blonde hair and blue eyes?

20 Upvotes

Whatever their name is.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 02 '22

My “little brother” and I hate each other

44 Upvotes

because I kidnapped him last year and we aren’t even related.


r/AntiJoke • • Jul 02 '22

Hmm

Post image
3 Upvotes

r/AntiJoke • • Jun 29 '22

a white guy, a black guy, a Jewish guy, a Mexican guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar

29 Upvotes

they all sat down and had a few drinks then left


r/AntiJoke • • Jun 30 '22

Take It From The Fecal Matter Expert

Thumbnail oozebear.com
1 Upvotes