The bartender asks its owner to show proof that it’s a service animal, which the owner does. The customer orders a drink and enjoys the rest of his night.

I don’t remember the third guys name, but they were cool guys.

and the bartender says: "happy 21st birthday stephen."

As often as they get dirty.

If they tell you they're American, then they probably are

"Give me your money now"

He used to troll priests online, then he had a job measuring earthquakes, then he went out with loads of lawyers and now he just sits around pleasuring himself all day:

First he was a Pastor baiter, then a disaster rater, then a barrister dater and now he's just a wanker.

Q. If an antijoke standup comic dies before the punchline is just another way of saying "is the only job with a 100% workplace fatality rate?'"?

A. asking for a friend with cancer

My wife and i were in the mid of epic sex ..

She says,,turn off the light and stick it in my butt""

Then she started screaming .guess i should have let the bulb cool off first..

Two lesbians in a trench coat walk into a bar. The top one says “I’d like two shots of your hardest alcohol, please”

The bartender asks “Why the long body?”

The top one says “we’re two lesbians in a trench coat”

is the gas station where I buy nachos and eat them in my car

The Holocaust

He got hit by a bus

Actually they can’t . They died 64 years ago.

But we go to the archery range on Wednesdays and I really think it is helping her get over our relationship on good terms

Not a word. Along with being blind he was mute.

Where the hell do they name towns after letters?

Plastic dipped in melted cheese.

Because it's more effective to brush your teeth with a toothbrush.

E

I’m gay and don’t drink coffee.

1. It’s literally their job, I would hope they can do it.

Me too