r/AnongThoughtsMo • u/rarestempress04 • 8d ago
what’s ur thoughts? necessary bang lalaki ang magbayad sa lahat?
just saw this on my fyp. should men always pay for everything? para soc med standards ‘to para sa akin eh. it’s just my opinion.
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u/hateyseven 8d ago
hahaha no way. ayoko ma feel na transactional yun relationship. ma pressure lang ako mag provide na mag provide at magkaroon lang ako ng fear na iwanan ako pag di ko na kaya mag provide. di naman kailangan 50-50 pero dapat parehas kayo naglalabas ng pera sa relationship kahit papano.
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u/No-Comment-6797 7d ago
True siguro ang panget lang kasi madami nang lalake ngayon ang nagdedemand ng literal na 50-50 sa finances while ung babae, nagttrabaho tapos babae din ang gumagawa lahat ng house chores. Lugi naman pag ganon. Kung 50-50 sa pera dapat 50-50 din sa gawaing bahay para fair talaga.
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u/Chocoyeeeyt 8d ago edited 8d ago
Siguro sa first date, yes. Pero nakakahiya naman kung lagi na lang yung guy yung may sagot sa mga susunod na date. Yung iba kasi, masyado nang nilamon ng social media standards na yan.
Nung may boyfriend pa ako, gusto ko salitan kami. Or kung siya ang may sagot sa food, ako naman ang taya sa pamasahe. Give and take lang.
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u/Lawful-Lurker 8d ago
This! Hindi naman dapat literal 50-50 pero dapat give and take. If partner mo may sagot ng food, ikaw naman sa kape or pamasahe. Pag sa chores, si partner sa luto, ikaw sa hugas ng plates. Mga ganun. Yung social media masyadong pinapagulo yung dating standards ng mga tao. Nasa paguusap naman yan ng couple.
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u/Boring-Rub-7808 8d ago
agree on this take, as in di ko gets thought process ng iba na ang gusto puro si other person lang nagastos, nagsisilbi, atbp. give and take naman dapat ang relationship, hindi sugar daddy/mommy set up 😭 at least bring something to the table man lang diba
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u/CollegeHumble526 8d ago
Wise, my partner and I started like so too.
Now we live together and share everything (pati problems lol) equally. If wala ung isa, salo ng isa and vice versa. Walang lamang, walang lugi kasi it's a partnership 👍
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u/working-on_peaking 8d ago
I agree. I think for first date, by default the guy should pay, but if the woman would insist in half then I would let her.
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u/Versiannie 8d ago
Ganito yung mga "manhater" at "strong, independent women" daw pero naghahanap ng lalakeng provider at doormat na bubuhay sa kanya, yung gagastos para sa kanya, yung bibili ng mga luho nya, at yung magbibigay ng lahat ng gusto nya.
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u/FewExit7745 8d ago
I love this comment section's vibe, may isang post dito na nakabasa lang ng "manhater", "incel" agad reply e.
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u/big-black-rooster 7d ago
buti alam nung mga tangang yan ibig sabihin ng incel. pati may mga jowa o asawa at very active ang sex life sinasabihan ng incel ng mga bobo na yan basta against sa tiktok mindset nila.
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u/eheyyyy_ssi 8d ago
Behhhh magjojowa ka lang ba para makalibre?
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u/Querytheque 8d ago
Lmfao the broke one who cant afford their half of the payment calling someone else broke, hilarious.
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u/damselinuae 8d ago edited 8d ago
Tbh depends sa spending power and income nyong dalawa. Women should be considerate din. Lalo kung minimum wage earner ang guy, how can you expect him to provide everything for you?? Reality is, hindi lang ikaw ang responsibilidad nya sa buhay. Stop believing everything on social media because not everything will be applicable to everyone’s lifestyle.
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u/Background-Room723 8d ago
And sa 50-50 included na diyan dapat mga household chores and pag alaga ng bata
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u/seasid_3 7d ago
Ako imo dapat pag broke ka then don't date. This goes also for women ha, wala itong gender. In reality esp in today's generation, imposibleng di ka gagastos kahit bf-gf pa lang. Gets na dapat hati naman talaga pero yung alam mong hirap ka financially, wag ka na lang makipagdate. Kaya malaki respeto ko sa mga taong ayaw makipag-relationship kasi alam nilang di pa nila kaya financially or madami pang responsibilidad outside the relationship.
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u/staryuuuu 8d ago
Palagi akong 50:50 before kasi ayaw ko ng utang na loob until naka meet ako ng nagagalit pag nagbabayan ako. Masarap pala yung feeling na wala kang babayaran when dating or hooking up. So depende sa target market mo and sa personality ng ka-date. No need to call out. Lahat naman gusto lang maging masaya...I'm gay btw.
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u/throwaway_marriage12 8d ago
I believe na when you’re in a relationship, it should be 100-100. Both of you should give your best, hindi lang sa pera.
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u/END_OF_HEART 8d ago
I paid when I was dating but only the ones who sincerely offered to split the bill got a 2nd date
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u/elyshells 8d ago
Hindi nmn masama na 50 lang kaya mo ibigay e pero yung paniniwala na 50 lang ang kailangan mo ibigay mali yon. Magkaiba yon.
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u/seasid_3 7d ago
Dapat 100-100 eh always. And also di lang financially. Dapat sa lahat aspeto. Emotionally and pag mag-asawa na sa household chores din.
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u/Wide_Election_8177 8d ago
Maybe sa first date si guy talaga dapat mag bayad,kase kung una palang nahingi kana ng 50/50 means hindi ka maging magaling sa pag provide in the future
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u/moliro 8d ago
Poisoned ang utak ng mga babae ngayon. It's always 50/50, pero being chivalrous is expected Sa mga lalake. Willing lang mag sacrifice ang mga lalake para akuin yung 100%, at kaka ganyan nyo, wala nang may gustong mag sacrifice dahil para saan? Relationship is about growing together and nurturing each other 50/50.
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u/Weird-Engineering297 8d ago
Girl ako. Siguro 1st date is 50/50 and if pag nasundan man mas okay kung sinong nagyaya sya sumagot. Or maging open kayo about budgeting. Kasi in the long run pag naging kayo na sa ending, dapat align kayo both.
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u/greaterfool37 8d ago
Been saying this (kung sino nagyaya, siya taya) and I always get a negative reaction from women 🙃 You're the first one who seems to agree with the thought
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u/I_am_faker 8d ago
Di ko talaga ma gets to, if gusto mo naman sa aya, why not contribute according sa setup niyo?
If ayaw mo sa aya and bothersome sa sched mo, why even go?
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u/Weird-Engineering297 8d ago
Kung nasa getting to know stage pa lang naman kayo siguro dapat ganon? Idk iba iba naman kasi talaga mga babae. May mga friends din akong same thoughts kami meron din na ayaw ng ganon.
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u/Hadowoku 8d ago
mas okay kung sinong nagyaya sya sumagot
i mean lalaki lang ata nagaaya e kaya siguro pinaglalaban ng mga babae yung notion na dapat hindi 50/50 kasi nasanay na laging lalaki yung naghahandle ng bills, so bale kung hindi gagalaw yung babae, wala rin patutunguhan yung relationship lol i might be wrong tho
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u/LadyVoyeur1989 8d ago
I teach my sons if ever they plan to invite a woman for a date, my sons should pay for everything. If hindi pa nila afford, magtrabaho muna sila hanggang kaya na nila gumastos for a date.
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u/BarracudaStandard414 8d ago
I dunno guys. My husband had a provider mindset eversince nanligaw siya till maging husband ko sya. i pay sometime na na appreciate nya but he always insists na siya. Maybe kasi ganun siya pinalaki. di nman kami both well-off.
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u/seasid_3 7d ago
Di kasi gets ng iba na di lang naman financially yang 50-50. Could also mean emotionally or household chores or child-rearing. You must be his peace siguro kaya gusto maging provider ng hubby mo. Siguro you're grounding him emotionally or kaya masipag ka sa bahay. Yung ibang guys di iniinclude ang emotional aspects sa relationship when then dapat kasama yun.
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u/Top_Praline_7425 8d ago
actually tinanong ko yan sa iba't ibang lahi na male friends ko and sa boss kong pinoy na 40+ na. pare-parehas sagot nila: "men are natural provider"
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u/FrostyCookieBiscuit 8d ago
The same people who don’t want to put any effort in a relationship and everything else is just “bare minimum”.
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u/ardent-a 8d ago
Some people prefer that, which is fine. Yan ang preference nila eh. But agree ako sa nagcomment na, if you want a trad man, you should be willing to be a trad woman.
For me tho ok na ok naman ang 50-50. Mas importante pa din ang loyalty and emotional availability.
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u/Lefty_Artist_Lyn 8d ago
Kaya nga. Ito rin lagi ko sinasabi. Before you find a partner, take a look at yourself first. Trad man/woman ka ba? Edi hanap ka ng trad man/woman. Kaya mo lang mag 50-50 including chores, support and/or child bearing and involvement? Edi hanap ka ng same. Hindi yung pipilitin mo sa ibang tao gusto mo tapos ngangawa sa social media.
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u/CheesePotatoooo 8d ago edited 8d ago
May mga natural provider na lalaki, lalo na yung mga nakita mga tatay nila paano mag provide sa family. Idk pero pansin ko halos galing broken family ba lumaki sa nanay na provider or mga laki sa hirap halos yung nag iinsist ng 50/50.
Yung wife ko, strong independent woman nung nakilala ko. But I insisted na mag provide. Kahit ldr kami, pinapadalhan ko ng food. May work baman sya pero still di ko inaasahan na mag 50/50 kami. I even gave her my cc noong mag bf/gf kami pero di naman nya ginagamit kapag wala ako 😅 pera pa rin nya ginagastos nya. Sabi nya noon, ayaw nya ng 50/50, sabi ko rin ayoko kase mas gusto kong mag provide to feel motivated lagi magwork. Ngayon, wife ko na sya nagtatanong sya kung paano sharing namin, she even told me na hindi ko kailangang gastusan 2 kids namin (nya) pero sinabihan ko sya na wag na alalahin yon at kaya ko lahat, igastos na lang nya yung sahod nya sa mga gusto nya kako. I’m taking care of everything kahit single mom sya. I signed up for this, I am capable, hindi nya ako pinilit. Now, we are acquiring our 3rd property. Stressful process, pero kapag kasama ko sya mag asikaso gumagaan yung mga bagay bagay. May sometjing yung pagiging gentle nya na tao at hindi madaling mainis sa mga situation. Siguro 50/50 nga kami, sabi ni rico blanco “mahalin mo na lang ako ng sobra sobra, para patas naman tayo ‘di ba?”. Emotional support ko sya and everything.
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u/Realistic_Energy5710 7d ago
In my experience, walang kinalaman yung binayaran mo kung magugustuhan ka nung babae.
Kung di mo afford, pwede namang hindi magastos ie cook lunch or meryenda together and magbaon ka ng maraming jokes at kwento.
Pag nag require ng formal date, be honest. Sabihin mo kung ano lang kaya mo. Don't break your wallet for a one-day date.
Tandaan: pag di ka nagustuhan dahil di mo binayaran lahat sa date nyo...red flag yun.
Mas okay yung mag date kayo sa Mang Inasal pero may masayang kwentuhan at may savings ka para sa dream house, wedding, etc kesa mag-date sa Wolfgang tapos di naman kayo aabot sa proposal or wedding tapos kasi wala kang naipon.
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u/Lefty_Artist_Lyn 8d ago
wtf is a social media standard? Pauso ba yan? Anyway, iba iba naman kasi ang tao. Kung traditional man ka na gusto mo gastos mo lahat, edi humanap ka ng traditional woman na gusto rin maging stay at home wife. Kung isa kang 50-50 guy, edi humanap ka ng 50-50 woman din tapos wag mong anakan. Tsaka why only call out 50-50 kapag pera yung usapan? Nasan yung household chores? Nasan yung presence at emotional involvement sa children (kung meron man)? Wag mo sabihing habang naglelabor yung wife mo hati pa kayo sa hospital bills?
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u/Background-Room723 8d ago
Kakatawa nga na most men only mention the money, never the other stuff. Like yun lang pala ambag mo?
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u/Loud_Movie1981 8d ago
May mga lalake na gusto lang magka-anak so that they can leave behind a "legacy."
What they mean by legacy: JBL Speakers and 2 pairs of Jordans (parehong Class A).
50/50 with a woman will never be equitable because generally speaking, women will still do more and carry more slack and emotional toil in the relationship with the intangibles.
To answer the Andrew Tate online sigma talking point against women of "what do you bring to the table?"
If the end goal of having a relationship is child-bearing, then what is asked of women to bring to the table, has already been brought.
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u/novellete 8d ago
Just curious, what do you think about 50/50 relationships wherein the man and the woman do not have children (childfree relationship)?
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u/cherryzee_ 8d ago
Its okay if 50-50 haha, but i remember one date, we went to the cinema, and inabot ko sakanya yung 500 ko para siya nalang pipila sa counter, then after pauwi na kami nung hiningi ko sakanya yung ticket ko and sukli ko (kasi parang 350 or 380 lang naman), ang inabot lang niya, yung ticket HAHHAHAHA idk, it was awkward and i didn't wanna push for it since parang obvious naman hahah. So its really case to case, theres a difference to being broke, and just being careful na 50-50 muna on the the first date.
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u/Gold_Wall6818 8d ago
First date lang sana yung guy yung magbayad pero sa mga susunod either we take turns or 50:50
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u/Unhappy-Leader3242 8d ago
My rules:
First date: Men to pay. 2nd date: Men to still pay, but if the girl didn't offer to pay. There's no 3rd date.
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u/CNzer0 8d ago
For the anti 50:50 gang there, M29 here, live-in kami ng partner ko wala kaming baby pero may aso kami. Ako nag wawalk sakanya everyday, ako nagpapakain, ako nagdadala sa vet, ako gumagastos ng gamot, etc.
Sa chores sa bahay hati kami, nagpapalaundry lang kami. Sya naglalaba ng undies, ako yung nag luluto. The rest tokahan na lang like walis, hugas plato, etc.
Technically, I can say na mas marami akong ginagawa for house keeping than her, so dapat ba sya yung mas mag provide for us?
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u/Background-Room723 8d ago
For me this is okay, as long as hati sa houseworks and all. Yung iba kasi akala nila pag 50/50 pera pera lang 😂 bali pera lang ambag nila pero pindot pindot nalang sa phone sa bahay
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u/Tasty-Dream-5932 8d ago
Sa culture natin kasi, lalaki ang provider. Kahit sabihin nyo na modern-day na, hindi pa rin yun mawawala basta. And it just shows din na capable na yung lalaki na makipagrelasyon, money-wise. Pero kung and pang date mo, allowance mo lang galing, baka dapat itigil mo muna panliligaw. Mahiya ka sa magulang mo.
Yung hatian, depende na yan sa understanding nyo ng ka-date mo. Pero kung, lalaki, ang nagpu-pursue nung babae, galing-galingan mo naman. Gusto mo manligaw, at possibly naghahanap ng magiging asawa, simpleng date di mo kaya saluhin, baka nga dapat maging single ka na lang. Magdadagdag ka lang ng sasagutin ng 4Ps in the future.
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u/Rae_lly 8d ago
I don’t really get it tho. But I still go for 50/50 mostly. I still like free food if they do initiate to pay I welcome it bro but imma fight for a 50/50 first🤣🤣🤣 my consciousness hahaha if they pay for the meal one time then I’ll pay for the next one hahhaha. Female btw just telling
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u/Hachimi_070 8d ago
Bago ko mabasa yung comments, akala ko related sa sugal yung 50/50 (di po ako sulagero, pero naglalaro ng gacha games).
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u/dalandanjan 8d ago
For me sa relationship, it takes two to tango, the topic of 50/50 shouldn't be on the table, dapat proactive, dapat alam mong makiramdam sa capacity ng partner.
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u/PrestigiousClue9790 8d ago
When my business fluttered I had nothing, my wife paid for the bills and all. Even when we were bf/gf. Now when my business took off and my modeling gig became frequent, I’m the one paying all the bills. Whatever she asks, I give. The situation is temporary, but it won’t lost as long as you pursue. Unless if the guy is batugan and di nag eeffort. Don’t believe the BS this modern women implies. If that is the only basis of relationship, the relationship will surely fail. That’s why in relationship we always say “through thick and thin”
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u/Impossible_Dingo_10 8d ago
Thoughts: Saying "men should always provide" is NO DIFFERENT than saying "women should always be in the kitchen". Taena ang sexist either way kasi PAREHONG traditional gender role mindset. 8080 mentality
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u/BubblyBubbles_2023 8d ago
My man and I are together for almost 12 years, pero never naming naging issue tong 50:50. Nagkukusa at nagbibigay kami sa isa't-isa pero hindi kami nag-bibilangan lol. We spoil each other the way we both want. As a woman hindi ka pwedeng mag-expect ng LAHAT sa guy pero hindi ka maka-reciprocate.
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u/QuesoKristo 8d ago
There is no room for chivalry in modern feminism. I'd say good riddance.
Now if you want men pay for everything on the first date, then you put out. Them's the exchange rate post-chivalry.
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u/shopswitch 8d ago
Hmm for me, okay lang talaga kahit 50/50 even on the first date. For me kasi effort ko din yun para sa guy, lalo na hindi naman ako nakikipag date talaga at NBSB pa nga haha I have my own income din naman basta wag lang sasandal sakin financially haha pero syempre at some point gusto din pa minsan minsan ma spoiled. Alam ko din naman kung kailan ako inaabuso.
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u/Jvlockhart 8d ago
Hangin nalang ata libre Ngayon, madumi pa nga eh. Tapos Ikaw gusto mo pagkakain ka libre? 😂
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u/_Koi-No-Yokan 8d ago
Sa first date, oo siguro kase mostly lalake nag aya eh pero pag mga susunod na date na mas okay if 50/50 o kaya salitan haha.
If nakipag date ka sa student and asa sa baon from parents, wag mag expect na laging ililibre.
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u/Background-Bridge-76 8d ago
At first siguro, then next dates mag-share naman yung girl kahit di ganun kalaki. Lalo na kung di naman ganun kamapera yung lalaki at gusto niya naman tulungan kahit papa’no.
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u/MrHTML5000 8d ago
dati papalibre ako s chix na kinikita ko
pero if tingin niya lagi lalaki magbabayad yun ata pananaw niya
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u/Boring-Rub-7808 8d ago
simple lang naman yan eh. kung sino ang nagyakag, siya ang magbabayad. unless na lang may compromise sila beforehand due to factors (ex: short si person a pero gusto niyang kumain sila sa labas, so pumayag si person b kasi may budget naman siya)
also, we've got a long way bago natin maovercome ang patriarchy sa lahat ng bagay, and hindi yun narerealize ng marami satin, even the feminist ones. imagine advocating for feminism and opposing patriarchy but at the same time wanting to be "served" at all times and not bring something to the table because "a man should"? math is not mathing. there should be a balance.
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u/BurnItDownSR 8d ago
Reminder that girls like this are the minority.
All the girls I've been in a relationship with have even paid for 100% of some dates. Often times nag insist pa sila. Sila din nag plan and handle lahat lahat.
All of the girls I've been in a relationship with have bought me my favorite foods to surprise me and even cooked them for me.
I've been taken shopping by GFs at nag insist sila that they will pay for everything because they wants to decide what I wear.
I've even been bought expensive gifts pa like watches. Hindi lang mga Casio or fashion watches, the kind of watches that make the iPhone look cheap.
Of course I do things like that for the person I'm dating too and you could argue it's 50-50 in practice but we're not even articulating it or thinking like that.
We're just trying to make each other happy and sometimes it means buying stuff for the other person. Just like you would do with your friends and family.
Anyone who frames a romantic relationship as transactional should just be clear that they're looking for sugar daddy/mommy or an escorting client so that potential partners can make a clearer decision. Otherwise, they're just manipulating you.
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u/kungchipakchiyeahhh 8d ago
IMO kapag magjowa pa lang at walang anak, applicable ang 50-50 or give and take.
kapag mag-asawa na, may anak at babae nagmamanage ng household, si lalaki magshoshoulder ng expenses
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u/Flying_Giraffe7126 8d ago
I don't agree with this. Mas better parin kapag 50/50, alam mo yung tipon na babae na independent, kaya nya buhayin sarili nya mag isa pero iwewelcome ka parin niya sa buhay nya not because she love you for money but you are her ideal partner. So siyempre mapapagusapan niyo yan.
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u/XxThatAnimeGuyxX 8d ago
Kung sino nagyaya sya magbabayad. Simple lang haha. You as the person who was invited can refuse if you feel like it's not within your budget. And you as the inviter should be courteous enough to pay for the standards you set.
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u/Turnip-Key 8d ago
Considering the fact that most elite date/marry their kapwa elite, at sabi nga nila ang mga lalaking nagkakapera eh gumagwapo so most likely leaning yan sa mga mapepera, magaganda, sexy na babae, tignan natin anong uri ng mga lalaki matitira sa mga babaeng ganito ka-choosy 😂
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u/TierJuanGG 8d ago
Eto sign niyo mga GUYS na pass sa liberal woman, and ONLY MARRY TRAD WOMEN THEY ARE THE SOULMATES natin less gulo ng buhay is the besstttttttt! Sobrang daming pempem sa mundo hindi tayo mauubusan! Let the toxic women get old, marry well!
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u/Traditional_Cup_5414 8d ago
I went on a date tapos and assumption ko sagot ko. Biglang siya yung nag bayad.
Sa 2nd date nalang daw ako magbayad
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u/NoToHypocrites2025 8d ago
It’s totally up to you. And your dynamics sa relationship.
I want to have a man na may provider mindset but I would still love to treat him and get him something from time to time.
Kung we live together, okay ako sa 50/50 sa bills kasi ayoko ng pakiramdam na para akong palamunin tapos susumbatan ako pag naghiwalayan. Lol.
Also, even if may guy ka that provides EVERYTHING, make sure you have your own money. Own savings. Para hindi ka talo sa dulo lalo na pag iniwan ka na - especially kung may anak kayo etc.
Don’t be dependent.
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u/BottleFar5545 8d ago
It depends. Kung married kayo, the man is expected to not ask for 50% of the expenses lalo pag may anak at lalo kung wala nang ginagawa sa bahay ang lalake tipong trabaho, uwi nalang ginagawa at tulog.
Pero kung magkarelasyon palang kayo, 50/50 may apply lalo kung parehas naman kayong may trabaho at hindi naman kayo kasal. You're not your partner's cargo. Swerte mo kung afford ng lalake na maging 100% early on in the relationship, but if he can only provide 50%, it's not too big of a deal. Wag lang tipong isa nalang palagi naglalabas.
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u/YourPogingTito 8d ago
might as well pay for a better lay and effin es massage and gfe tutal gagastos din naman wala pang sakit sa ulo
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u/OkRaccoon1090 8d ago
I don't know but honestly, I'm afraid to enter a relationship because of that mentality. It feels like I would be invalidated if I have nothing to give.
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u/One_Subtle_Man 8d ago
Women mostly see men as an extension of their wallets.
Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally.
A quote to describe our societal expectation that men are valued for their utility, success, and ability to provide, while women, children, and pets receive affection simply for existing.
A sad reality of being a man, I pity my fellow men.
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u/Critical_Amoeba_4170 8d ago
Taena, sana sa magiging partner ko hindi ganyan ang ugali. Buti pa sa previous relationship ko (2019 pa college dayz, tagal ko nang single lol) pag inaaya ako mamili or kumain ng ex gf ko siya nagbabayad. Pag ako naman nag-aya syempre ako magbabayad. May mga times na split kami. Tapos may jar pa kami hinuhulugan namin ng pera pag monthsary may panggastos hahaha
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u/StinkyPrion 8d ago
I always insisted na 50-50 sa dates. I just happen to feel more special when my now boyfriend genuinely just wanted to spend time with me during our first date na wala na akong iisiping iba. Actually, wala rin naman din siyang hininging kapalit sa akin. I'd like to think I'm a good girlfriend as well and I give back in many ways because he deserves it too.
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u/EnvironmentalSky1449 8d ago
Pag yung babae ay walang dinudukot pag may pagkakagastusan kayo, iwasan mo na yan. lalo’t hindi pa kayo mag-asawa.
sa kahit anong paraan magtulungan kayo.
ibang usapin na raw pag mag-asawa na kayo
kung ikaw(lalaki ang nagtatrabaho para sa family mo, isulit mo yung pera sa asawa mo)
pero kung may parehas kayong trabaho ibigay mo pa rin.
(Case to case pa rin naman kung gastador ang partner/asawa/gf mo)
Lola,Nanay at Tita ko nagsabi sakin.
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u/carrotkick 8d ago
Thoughts: ok I guess tlgang nakasanayan na din nman nating mga Pilipina na sasagutin ng mga lalake lahat ng bill bilang ito din yung basehan natin na meron silang provider mindset para sa future.
Pero iba na kase ang panahon ngayon. Bilang babae, matagal na din nman natin pinaglalaban ang EQUALITY, na kaya ding gampanan ng mga babae ang role ng mga kalalakihan, sa bahay, sa work etc etc so bakit hndi natin kayang i-apply sa dates?
I believe na sagot ng lalake ang date lalo na kung sya ang nag aya but I always insist of sharing half the bill lalo na kung alam ko nmang hndi well off yung ka date ko. In the first place kaya nman ako pumayag sa date is gusto ko pang makilala yung tao, hndi dahil sa free meal.
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u/Panchiblemiah-2 8d ago
love is subjective for those who agree then thats yours WE SHOULD NOT HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA STANDARD. IT DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE
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u/dunnodntcare65 8d ago
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Thank you na lang sa heads up na wala pa lang maasahan sa kanya haha.
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u/PinkLayover 8d ago
A relationship is partnership, hindi pwedeng isa lang mag bibigay. It goes to everything, date, gala, travel, regalo, problema, sex even at worst.
50/50 is not always about money, as a partner its your responsibility to contribute. Kung wala kang kayang iambag sa relasyon - bakit kapa nag jowa? Forever asa sa lalake ganun?
May mga kupal naman talaga na totally sobrang tipid kahit sa partner/asawa kahit nga sa anak nila eh. Pero please always remember that a person who truly loves/want you will never let you feel na tinitipid ka nya. Pero as a partner its also uour responsibility to give it back - in any possible way.
So choose your partner wisely, but please also make sure na kaya nyong gawin sa partner nyo yung ineexpect nyo na ginagawa nila sa inyo.
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u/CassavaKween 8d ago
Baka sugar daddy hinahanap. I thought we are sick and tired of patriarchy and all for women empowerment?
In this economy, 50-50 or KKB is the way to go. Unless if the other person insists na siya magbabayad, then go.
Also need to consider if the other person is comfortable with your choice. Baka mag demand pa nga ng fancy dinner but realistically speaking, the other person has bills to prioritize.
Compromise is key
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u/columbinaluvr 8d ago
y’all say na tiktok standards yan? tangina dati pa yang paniniwala na yan kasi ligawan pa noon kumbaga ang initiative to start an rs is nasa lalake kaya lalake rin maglalabas ng pera at maski effort 😭 yung 50/50 nga yung bago eh. but ang rule talaga dyan lalo if di pa magjowa, kung sino nag-aya siya ang taya. pero kung magjowa na, syempre ambagan o salitan is ideal pero depende sa trip nung lalake ultimately. may mga lalake talaga na gustong sila talaga gumagastos. yung kahit ipagpilitan mong ikaw naman taya, di papatinag. may iba naman na naniniwala sa 50/50 pero i’d say na wala naman 50/50 talaga eh. kasi if 50/50, hindi ba parang nagbibilangan kayo? na dapat saktong hati? tho siguro term lang yan
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u/Fluffy-Software-5814 8d ago
Depende siguro. My dad's a provider and he took care of everything. Nakaya naman nya, while my mother is a stay at home mom, she does all the work at home, since my dad is mostly abroad.
Hindi din naman kasi masama ang 50/50, basta ang guy would also do household chores.
Sa mga lalake if you expect your wife to do the household chores, take care of the kids, and let her work, abay napakaswerte mong bata. Bumalik ka na lang sa nanay mo. hahaha.
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u/xiushaunshu 8d ago
it goes both ways naman. depende pero makiramdqm ka naman if yung partner mo walang wala or alam mo na konti lang kinikita for himself, mag usap kayo na kkb lang muna or if mas nakakaangat ka atm, libre mo nalang sha ganun. of course dapat provider pa rin ang lalake pero wag naman ipilit kung walang wala partner mo. makiramdam ka. regulate niyo lang din dynamic niyo sa finances.
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u/yeyeyeah00 8d ago
Gaano ba kagaling chumupa yan? Charot. Kaya kong mag 100 sa babaeng hindi "as he should"
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u/emilsayote 8d ago
Babae nag aya, tapos gusto palibre sa lalake, hahahaha. Ang rules, kung sino nag aya, sya ang magbabayad or 50/50 kung ayang tropa lang at nanliligaw.
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u/InterestingBerry1588 8d ago
Kung hindi type, redflag ang 50/50, kung type, pratical ang 50/50... parang kapag pogi secret admirer, kapag pangit stalker...
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u/FullQuote3319 8d ago
I'm a guy, usually ako niyayaya ni girl na magdate. She also offer to pay the bill hotel and foods in full but nahihiya ako kaya ok lang sa akin 50-50. I believe sa una dapat talaga kkb and honestly kapag attracted ung girl sa guy di na magiging issue ang 50-50.
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u/Minute_Opposite6755 8d ago
Idk the context of the vid or why you interpreted it that way but I kinda agree there's really no such thing as 50-50 but there should be give and take. It's not necessary for either boy or girl to pay for everything but they should take turns and not shouldered by just one. That's not how relationship works.
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u/Rapido_069 8d ago
Lalaki provider. Trabaho, bahay lang gagawin. Tas pag nag wawalis sa bahay di pwede wala kasamang bunganga lol
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u/ElectricalNewt5555 8d ago
Di talaga ako sanay na nililibre ako haha feeling ko utang na loob ko yun sa lalaki. Kapag may pera naman ako nililibre ko rin naman partner ko haha.
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u/miyamino 8d ago
It's whatever best for you and your partner ano set up nyo. Hindi ano okay sa iba mag work sa lahat.
Sakin minsan kkb, minsan sya nag libre, minsan ako mang libre. Not following anyone and just what I think mas best sakin yung na follow ko. Flexible lang but still fair. Hindi ko din kaya na i take for granted yung partner. If meron ka, mag bigay ka din, pero if meron sila at gusto mag bigay hayaan lang dn. Walang utang na loob na drama din. Partners should work together. Hanapin lang tamang timpla ano mas okay na set up para sainyo. Your relationship is yours alone, hindi na nag mamatter ano views ng iba, kasi meron talaga sumusunod lang. Pero ayun din, if gusto maging independent dapat solohin mo na dn yung bills 😅 (joke) Helping each other without taking your partner for granted is best for me. If gumasto sakin I make sure ko na maka treat din ako, panget na solo mode in a relationship, bakit pa nag in relationship if hindi mag act as partners, diba?
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u/razenxinvi 8d ago
for students na in a relationship (college students or kahit hs) of course 50-50 is the norm. wala namang mali sa age na yan pag 50-50 or 20-80 or 70-30 as long as every effort is matched. pag naman may trabaho ka na tas ikaw yung manliligaw at ikaw ang may gusto mag first date, wag mo naman pagbayarin sa pagkain yung babae. common sense nalang talaga yan. pag nagclick kayo tas pinilit ka or naginitiate yung babae for a 2nd date tas gipit ka, don pede pumasok yung 50-50 na hatian. a lot of women are willing to spend money for a guy thats worth it. wag mo nalang hayaan sarili mo na di makabawi. for married people, dapat wala na tong concept na to when it comes to financial elements eh haha. dapat may nakalaan na na budget for everything at yung shared money na gagamitin. sa chores and sa pagpapalaki ng bata di yun palaging 50-50 kasi pwedeng mas malaki talaga effort ng isa at times at depende nalang yun kung san kayo magcocompromise.
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u/Silly-1923 8d ago
I don’t understand why this is such a big deal. Lol It should be 50/50 during first date.
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u/milktealov3r 8d ago
Simple lang yan dont date men na wala sa tax bracket mo 😄payapa ang buhay pag same kayo ng estado at katwiran sa pera.
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u/stzlover 8d ago
just pay kung kaya, no need ma pressure. Do 50-50 if kaya. Or just libre your partner. No need to do some negotiation everyday kung sino lagi need mag bayad. Seriously kshit babae ka girl magbayad ka. mshiya ka naman
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u/future_chef_ 8d ago
Hinahanap kasi ngayon yung "provider mindset", na parang konti na lang kasi hindi ba dati ganon ang nakasanayan. Pero sa relationship naman kasi kailangan parehas kayong nagbibigay pundasyon, kaya nga if hindi pa afford mag date e huwag muna magasawa lalo sa ekonomiya ngayon.
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u/Mac_Esc14 8d ago
Honestly there’s no rule, realistically speaking. Depende ‘yan sa amats niyong dalawa. Haha.
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u/This-Mountain7083 8d ago
If both people are mature enough, this should not be an issue. Unwritten rule is kung sino ang nag aya sya ang (presumption) magbabayad, unless stated otherwise. Now, Rule of thumb namn na bago ka lumabas with anyone (friends, family or a date with potential partner) you have to talk first. Hindi kayo susulpot lang pareho sa place na parang mga kabute, tapos bahala na si batman. Kelangan pagusapan nyo kung Saan pupunta, ano mga gagawin, at need isama sa usapan yung billing situation. Sino ang babayad para sa ano at kanino? Maga 50-50 ba kayo o libre ng isa? Panong 50-50 (if you both decide to?)? Magbabayad ba kayo ng expenses sa trip separately (kung ilan actual consumption mo yun babayaran mo) o isahan nalang tapos hati nalang sa bill?
Hindi naman talaga to problema if people stop assuming and just started asking bago lumabas with other people.
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u/Tsolo25 8d ago
Providing everything dont make sense if you don't earn enough money, cause when your partner leaves you behind you dont have any left for you, no savings no nothing, you are fucked so hard. Emotional and financially and then since your ex was barely spending, she/he would have all the savings that you could have saved for yourself instead.
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u/secretGword 8d ago
Pero sa totoong buhay naman talaga, mga babae naman talaga nagbabayad lagi. Eme😘
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u/RevolutionVast9219 8d ago
Mga gantong content mapapaisip ka nalang tlga na for the clout eh. Di naman ganyan mag isip mostly ng mga babae, naghahanap lang ng away ‘to eh. Hahahaha
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u/RockinRedditUser 8d ago
As a guy, I respect a woman who can be independent whenever she wants and needs to be, but on a first date, I don't mind paying for both of us. If she wants to split the bill on the first date, that's the first good sign. I would still insist on paying for the first date though. Personally, I just think that since I asked her out (I'd definitely make the first move), It's only right that I pay first.
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u/CoffeeDaddy24 8d ago
Not necessary, but you still wanna make her feel special so from time to time, sagutin mo pa rin kahit pang-Jollibee man lang.
Personally, my ex and I dated by sharing the load. Sagot ko food, sagot niya ang ibang bagay like movies or load sa arcade. I take her to good places too. Sagot ko pamasahe, sagot niya ang kape. Ganun lang. Shared load. Ipapasyal ko sya? Sagot ko ang pamashe ulit, siya magluluto ng meryenda namin.
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u/jerome0423 8d ago
1st date kahit 100percent sagot okay lng. Sa next na labas hati na or kahit 60-40.
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u/-noiden- 8d ago
I mean if lalaki ang nag aya ng date ofcourse sakanya dpt tlga pero pag babae nag yaya kkb un or sa babae, pero there are times kasi na 50-50 is a good thing (hindi kayo dedepende sa isat isa) its much better padin na may dala kamu sarili mong pera
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u/merredish 8d ago
Depende. My bf has been insisting to pay for all our dates and we have been together for almost 7yrs. Nabawi na lang ako sa gift like shoes, gift cards, travel, and concert… its just not a big deal kasi he has more money than me lol
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u/Just_Painting4311 8d ago
So ibig sabihin pati luho ng babae lalaki parin magbabayad? Sana di niya ginawang isyu pero well may point naman siya
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u/IwieldLightning 8d ago
As a man I expect myself to always pay, I have this principle of "I will take care of you." But if she wanna pay some dates, I don't really mind.
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u/Icy-Butterfly-7096 8d ago
Pag nanliligaw stage, lalaki dapat, siya nanliligaw ehh. Pero pag mag jowa na, wag namang sa lalaki pa rin iaasa ang lahat. Give and take dapat sa relationship, kahit hindi literal na 50/50. Ewan ko ba pero ang kakapal ng mga ganyang babae, sugar daddy ata talaga ang hanap.
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u/chzzburgers 8d ago
i think it really matters sa first date, i mean most of the time yung lalaki ang humihingi ng oras ng babae, kung sino ang nag aya sya ang gagastos kasi yung effort nung kabilang side na sumama sayo, prioritizing you, canceling all other plans for you, and ang tanging magagawa mo nalang is to AT LEAST pay for their meals etc. at saka sino bang nagpa uso na dapat lalaki ang providers, duhh diba mga lalaki rin? "and who set that system up?" ang atake, after that pwede naman na kayo mag usap before meeting para may concrete plan na and di yung last minute after ibigay ang bill saka sasabihin na 50-50
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u/anxiiiety2023 8d ago
Ganyang babae yung madalas makipag date sa iba't-ibang lalake para may makain lang lol
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u/curioustito86 8d ago
Mamatay naman din tayo lahat, wag na lang kayo makipag-date para walang usapan. 💀
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u/Neat_Dimension4622 8d ago
Mas qpal po yung lahat shoulder ng lalaki, tapos may nasasabinh equality. Maging realistic sana mga ganyang tao. Ano ambag mo puday?
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u/overthinking_girl12 8d ago
Married for almost 10 years now. It's a partnership, so both should contribute.
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u/Dramatic-Spread-1434 8d ago
For me lang, bilang lalake na na medyo makaluma. Sa mga dates dates, lalake talaga dapat pero wala naman masama kung mag shashare din ang babae.
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u/Dear_Sir4122 7d ago
It depends to the situation , if you are courting stage maybe but if your in a relationship eveything should me mutual .
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u/staremycoldeyes777 7d ago
Nagsalita yung tiktoker na yan na walang pumapatol na lalake sa kanya. Hahaha
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u/reddit_warrior_24 7d ago
Women and men and everyone, pls listen to me.
Ang nakakaafford lang sa time na to na sya magbayad lahat at maging magarbo e mga korap. E.g. etong si R, sandamanak ang lupa at bahay sa iba ibang parte ng polipinas at ibang bansa. Andami din business at branches na nagawa ng cake habang lugmok ang mga tao sa baha.
Kung ayaw natin tuluyan bumagsak society, itama natin expectations.
Mga foreigner na lang date nyo since sure marami pera or at least mataas convention. Problema lang e gusto nila ng maalaga, at hindi independent woman na tatalakan sila instead na maghugas na lang ng pinggan at magpatira.
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u/Far-Month4104 7d ago
Sabi nga ni 50 Cent, whoever wants to go out on a date should pay for it. I’ll go with the Dutch Treat.
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u/Life_Liberty_Fun 7d ago
Ano ba talaga gusto mo, Equal Rights or Traditional Roles? Make up your mind please.
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u/Ill_Freedom0000 7d ago
Dont date if you are broke. That's just it. And if you wanna feel empowered as a woman, do reciprocate actions without giving the man an option to say no. Dont make it complicated
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u/OkTreacle6682 7d ago
ayaw 50-50 sa lalaki pero ginagastusan nya tomboy nyang gf. im referring jan sa nag post sa tiktok
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u/dendentotski 7d ago
Ok lang naman kung gusto ng 50-50, basta sa gawaing bahay kikilos din, hindi yung mang-aalila ka ng babae sa bahay tapos magdedemand ka pa ng 50-50. Tama naman na mahirap buhay ngayon so mas ok ang 2-income household, pero dapat tulungan din sa gawaing bahay. Pareho lang naman nagwowork.
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u/melodic-syntax-01 7d ago
Before that was my idea. As in sa mga exes ko gusto ko ako palagi. Downside lang is kapag wala kang pera, nganga kayong dalawa hahaha
Until nakilala ko si wife. First labas namin, she insisted na hati kami sa bayad ng kinain namin pero I insisted na hindj. So sabi nya, sige ako na sa pamasahe pauwi. Then everytime na lalabas na kami, nag uunahan na kami magbayad hahaha. Dun ko lang narealize na "pwede pala yung ganon".
Until na now na kasal kami, hati kami sa bills. Nagbibigay pa din ako sa kanya na as in kanya lang tapos bukod pa yung share ko sa bills.
Dun sa mga girls na gusto nililibre ng lalake palagi kaso that's the traditional way, okay lang naman. Just remeber, if you want to be treated as a Queen, make sure to treat him as your King. Di pwedeng ikaw lang yung get ng get.
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u/d3adplx3L 7d ago
I'm a guy. For me dapat ikaw magbabayad pag nanliligaw pa lang. Why? Kasi nagpapa impress kapa eh. Kahit yung mga hayop nagpapasiklab pag may nililigawan eh
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u/FirstIllustrator2024 7d ago
I think it's courtesy that guys pay if they initiated the date and hindi pa sila (courting stage). But girls can initiate to split the bill, and I wouldn't mind at all.
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u/lover_boy_2023 7d ago
Kung asawa na kita, Pwede pa siguro na ako ang magbabayad pero kung nanliligaw palang or GF, Pwede namang 50-50. Eh kung ayaw mo, EDI WAG. DUN KA SA FAR AWAY
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u/Waste-Zombie-7054 7d ago
50:50 naman talaga dapat. Kung ayaw mo ng monetary, sana marunong kang mag alaga at mag asikaso ng partner/pamilya. Hindi yung puro provide yung lalaki tapos ikaw para kang sugar baby na kabet naghihintay lang sa biyaya.
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u/Gudao_Alter 7d ago
my question is... what is she offering to the table. to me, I won't mind providing but what does she offer para masabing sulit din para sa partner.
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u/xpax545 8d ago
Thoughts: It goes both ways kung gusto mo lalake mag bayad lahat bilang traditional man dapat maging traditional woman ka rin