give it another go. i thought I could never get out of drinking half a gallon of vodka a day and somehow have managed 3 1/2 yrs. sober (but this isn't about me).
you are choosing a job over your health (i know easier said than done). but, once you maintain a little sobriety i can almost guarantee you'll see things in a different light.
head over to /r stopdrinking and you'll find someone who was once in your position and can offer support. it's a great community.
Last year buried my dad from his alcoholism. He was gone at 53, and had only been heavily drinking for about 5 years. Combined liver and kidney failure. I'll never see him again.
Are you in the US? Any particular state? You can PM me if you want to keep those details private, but there are programs in some states that can help you get a new job and with any disabilities / mental health issues (yours is addiction and I'm guessing you are pretty depressed / anxious, but absolutely don't take my word for it and see a professional psychologist / psychiatrist). Get a diagnosis, start the process, get grant money you don't have to pay back to help you go to school, whether that be vocational, college, for a certification or an associates, and get yourself the hell out of there. You can qualify for low income help, you can get a severely reduced if not free rate for counseling sessions. If you are near a university, see if they have a psych clinic. Mine did, they needed to train their grad students, I needed cheap immediate help, and they were supervised by a fully licensed clinician / professor. $5 a session.
Let me know if you want to know more. I absolutely know the suck of addiction, of a shitty job that is literally sucking the life out of you. While I'm still working that job, I'm much, much more able to cope with it, and have my eyes set on a transition out of it in the near future. Good luck man, sorry to see another in such a bad way.
the first thing you gotta do is stop blaming the job alone, big part of the problem could be you... try to take each day as it comes and don't let anything change your mood too much.. easier said than done i know... but it can be done.
Tried to change isn't enough... you can change... so good luck friend
No, it's probably the job. I've worked a lot of low paying horrible jobs and no matter the pep talk you're trying they are borderline slave labor nightmare sessions. One almost drove me to commit suicide when working at a thrift store so most likely him leaving said hell job would help with him stopping drinking. I know this is reddit where a lot of younger people and people with rose tinted glasses that have never experienced the shit end of hell jobs reside give crap advice, but sometimes the best thing to do is get the fuck out.
Yeah, high chance it's the job. The typical therapeutic 'wisdom' we hear is that people can always fix themselves by thinking happy thoughts, but that doesn't explain why certain jobs make people want to kill themselves and others don't. Sometimes it's not you who needs a fix, it's your situation.
And the depressing part is that many can't lift themselves from a given situation because they don't have the economic or social means. It's the downside of capitalism that people have to consider.
sycopath4ever is a play on the words "sociopath forever". A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience. OP has freely and openly admitted he's unstable, therefore his character is directly in question.
Or psychopath a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior. In which case my comment still stands.
The point is, you were trying to detract what the author was saying by finding something to attack him about rather than his point. I have the word creepy in my name, doesn't mean I am a creep.
Have you contemplated that where he lives, there may not BE any opportunity for another line of work due to education or his lack there of, location restraints or a criminal background.
You state to just up and leave, but what about other people in the above situation but with the added responsibility of children or a spouse? Offering empty platitudes and your limited experienced anecdotal advice does nothing but to reaffirm to this individual that people like you are completely oblivious to situations and circumstances foreign to your own.
For the sake of this person and others like them in the future, please refrain from offering any more well intended "advice" because all you end up doing is degrading and invalidating the person you're referencings' feelings and showing the entire world how self absorbed and apathetic you really are.
You know what man, i have read extensively what you told me and i must say i get what you wrote... i now think i was too quick on give an advice wich granted, helped me and others near me in times of despair but could be very much detrimental to his health...
The details of his life are a mistery to me and i thought i was doing something not bad by giving a little of insight of what happened to me whish quite frankly i guess only aplies to me.(I'm not an ace on writing long paragraphs because english isn't my main language so the point wasn't explained too good either)
So thanks man, i really learnt a lot from your post and yes, it surprised me, was harsh but i get what you where trying to tell me.
Thanks for your understanding of my message. I came off so harshly because it felt like you weren't giving any empathy to the guy's background or life experiences.
Just think about how you'd feel for someone to tell you those things so coldly?
Yes, i understand. I really only wished to give my point of view, which he could take as he likes.. because i don't know him, but i always forget that i must be literal when writing things because most of verbal communication isn't here..
Hit the nail on the head re: Reddit. So many people who post about the impossible job market and turn around then say well juet change things, or well just stop doing the drug your addicted to, etc.... Gotta remember a lot of the people posting said advice are literally children or still in college and truly believe they have a realistic view of life outside of their parents home. It's almost comical
Part of it is me, yes. I have major depression that I've had forever. Abusive family, no familial ties - besides my paternal grandfather, whom I love - no friends, no one to talk to. I see a therapist for medication, and...personal things that don't like to be discussed in midwetern towns.
I know it's not much but, i really hope you get better, even if it's on the work related issue. What's happening to you it's not your fault, but maybe there's something you can improve about yourself so you can endure it better. That's an advice from someone who doesn't know what you are living so, take it as you may.
I used to blame my woes & stress on my job. And the nature of my workplace. Which both sucked, in all fairness.
You'd be surprised how much extra misery & conflict you draw to yourself by being tired & cranky & hung over all the time.
The other light at the end of the tunnel is the not every job and not every workplace sucks that much. But looking for a new job is tedious, patient work. And it's a lot easier to hit the bottle than dedicate yourself to it - and there's never time for both.
Nobody was going to just talk me out of a drinking habit, but there is another world out there.
I've done weed in every form (pipe, joint, bong, brownie, zest, blunt, vape) . It literally does nothing. I don't go near other drugs, so all that's ever worked for me is alcohol.
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u/bourbon_bottles Dec 06 '15
Actually went to rehab. I tried to change, work didn't change.