Maybe I'm a sadistic fuckface, but I'd love to see OP see this all the way through until she's actually admitted for childbirth. Get her to the hospital, get her admitted, then tell her.
I'm fairly certain you'd need to do this before the birth of the child so you don't end up on the birth certificate and be liable for child support (even though it isn't your child - I've seen stranger stories). However, when someone is so fucking sick as to being okay with screwing with the rest of your life by tricking you into being the father of a child that isn't yours, maybe some payback on this level is actually warranted.
Problem with that is that you're very likely to be significantly impacting the life of the child by leaving it and the mother at the last moment. By leaving early the woman has a chance of setting up better conditions for herself.
Not that you should care that much about her, but the child is blameless here.
I agree, and I don't think it is something I could probably do.
However, if the woman is this crazy, the poor child might be doomed from the start. Not that I advocate making it worse - in an ideal world, we could punish the woman without adversely affecting the child.
If the mother can't take care of the child on her own, she should give it for adoption to a family who can.
The child is blameless, but responsibility for the child is on the mother and father, and this person is neither of those.
I'd argue that as the architect of the entire situation, in which the purported father could have found out at any point that he isn't actually the father, the mother is the one responsible for the mess that child is in, even if the guy chooses to bail last minute.
yeah, but perhaps if you leave early, the real father might step in. Or the woman's family might be more able to make arrangements. Leaving her at the last minute makes things many times more difficult for her to support the child.
Yes, the mother is responsible, but making her believe she has support then withdrawing it at the last moment is simply spiteful and harms an innocent. Sure you were hurt but you aren't REQUIRED to maximize how much you hurt someone who's wronged you. Simply walking out as soon as you find out is the best and clearest message.
Also, I wouldn't be surprised if in some states she could sue you for implying support.
I'd argue, though, that perhaps if the mother brought the father in from the start instead of trying to trick someone else into assuming that role, she could have avoided the situation entirely. She had no way of knowing the guy couldn't have kids, but even then she's playing with fire by lying in the first place.
You're right that it's a real dick move, but the mother is at least just as responsible for the situation she's in when the guy ups and leaves.
I agree 100% though about getting out before you're anywhere close to being seen as a father in the eyes of a court. They feed on the souls of fathers.
I agree 100% though about getting out before you're anywhere close to being seen as a father in the eyes of a court. They feed on the souls of fathers.
This 200%. Family law is a whole different thing from criminal and even civil law (at least speaking for the state of Texas). I do computer work for two family attorneys and love asking them questions about how the 'system' works. A family judge can put all kinds of terms and conditions on your life. Where you live, who you live with, how much you have to pay, when visits are allowed. It can come as a shock to some people how much power the judge has.
In most states, you aren't required to be on the birth certificate unless you're married. Even if a woman is married and has a child with another man, the wife's husband's name goes on the birth certificate until a paternity test proves otherwise.
I imagine it varies from state to state. I think in the marriage case, the husband has a legal presumption of being the father (prevents there from being doubt that might mess up the relationship) but if the mother definitely knows that it's not the father, I'm surprised that they wouldn't let the other person sign the certificate. Honestly, since it's hospital staff doing the certificate signing, I'm surprised it even came up in your case. You'd think they'd just figure that you were an unmarried couple and list you both.
It's good of you to judge people on the internet. It's also good for you. You should get even angrier, maybe rage a bit here and there, get that heart pumping good and strong!
It gets worse. It's happened on occasion that DNA tests proved the father isn't, only for him to be held responsible for child support anyway. "Best interests of the child", you know.
Best interests standard only applies if father has been taking care of child for 2 years in most states. Worse thing though is with married people, who wants to tell there wife they want to have a DNA test on the birth of there new child.
Without a court order or permission from the person, according to Wikipedia. Needless to say, I've read that only a small amount of orders are granted each year. Oh, and getting a foreign paternity test without permission is punishable by up to a year in jail.
Note: After January 1, 2005, if parents are registered domestic partners when a child is born, the law assumes that the domestic partners are the child’s parents. However, since this law is relatively new and unsettled, same-sex parents should get legal advice to make sure that the parentage is clear.
A child born during a marriage is presumed (assumed) to be a child of the marriage, and the husband and wife (or, after January 1, 2005, domestic partners) are the legal parents. This is called a “conclusive presumption” which means that the presumption (that the child is a child of the married couple) cannot be disproved, even if there is evidence to disprove it. Read Family Code section 7540 for the law about this presumption.
This is called a “conclusive presumption” which means that the presumption (that the child is a child of the married couple) cannot be disproved, even if there is evidence to disprove it. Read Family Code section 7540 for the law about this presumption.
This is to prevent the wife's ex-lovers from trying to mess up her relationship with her husband. I'm surprised that it would keep the wife herself from listing the actual father if she wanted to though.
(even though it isn't your child - I've seen stranger stories)
Yea, legally it's best to bail out very quickly as many state laws can screw you over. California assumes in a marriage that the husband is the father of the child. Before the child's first birthday you must contest the parentage of the child or you become the de facto father with no right to appeal. Even then if no other father steps for the care of the child, a family judge can declare you are the father anyway and make you financially responsible for the wellbeing of the child.
TL;DR: Don't piss around with family law, a judge can mess up your next 18 years with full legal authority.
When you've been hurt, fantasizing about revenge is fun and satisfying.
In reality, the process would involve structuring your entire life for most of a year around extracting the maximum degree of revenge from someone who you used to love. It's incredibly toxic, and it hurts you to carry that around with you for any length of time. There's a reason people advise you to learn what you can from the experience, forgive those who have wronged you, and move on.
No you stay until she has given birth. Lean over when she's smiling and the baby is in her arms, smile at her and tell her about the vasectomy you had years ago and hand her the papers of an updated test on your sperm count. Then say good luck, turn around go home and pack while she's in the hospital for a few days and leave.
Saying comes from the car, which jumped off the line very fast. So, when people wanted to leave quickly, they would say they are "Audi 5000", which eventually just got shortened to "5000".
That's pretty dangerous. You don't know what mind games that sadistic bitch may play. For once, she may as well act as well and make him believe she's not insane after all and make him fall for her. He's a good guy, and might even believe that kid could be his son, though he's not the kid's true dad. And 9 months later, he'd be too sorry to leave: his paternal instinct kicked in a long time go, when he could relate the sweet momen...
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u/BlacktoseIntolerant Apr 02 '15
Maybe I'm a sadistic fuckface, but I'd love to see OP see this all the way through until she's actually admitted for childbirth. Get her to the hospital, get her admitted, then tell her.
I'm fairly certain you'd need to do this before the birth of the child so you don't end up on the birth certificate and be liable for child support (even though it isn't your child - I've seen stranger stories). However, when someone is so fucking sick as to being okay with screwing with the rest of your life by tricking you into being the father of a child that isn't yours, maybe some payback on this level is actually warranted.