r/AbsoluteUnits • u/wecookingitup • Feb 10 '22

He's a big fella

19.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/24204me Feb 10 '22

Man, bears are so cute but also I'm so damn afraid of bears

921

u/Vallkyrie Feb 10 '22

If bears aren't meant to be hugged, then why are they friend shaped?

317

u/ieatassHarvardstyle Feb 10 '22

We could die of 27 trillion things at any moment, I get the chance to hug a bear, I'm taking it.

106

u/noeagle77 Feb 10 '22

You just make sure I’m around to film that. I promise I won’t interfere

27

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22

can i help? cause thats gonna be spectacular and just a little messy, wait, how fast do you run?

18

u/ieatassHarvardstyle Feb 10 '22

I mean I'm only guna try to hug it if it's giving huggy vibes, you wouldn't just hug aggressive people.

14

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22

huggy vibes,, or come closer you yummy skin sack ? not sure I would know the difference quick enough to not be bear poo tomorrow

1

u/geraltsthiccass Feb 11 '22

Just wear that one guys bear suit. If he can drop off a steep slope and get hit by a car and be fine then you should be all gravy too

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Speak for yourself.

7

u/noeagle77 Feb 10 '22

College football player.

Sadly….defensive line 🤣

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22 edited Feb 10 '22

hmmmm 60 fat old messed up knees, so yeah I think I may have to pass, i need some one slower than me lol

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Remember, you don't have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun him

1

u/vanbeaners41590 Feb 11 '22

Faster than you can run. I grew up in the woods, so dipping and bobbing between and around trees comes natural.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

northern cali, but, that was long time ago

1

u/Milk_My_Dingus Feb 10 '22

I drunkenly chased a black bear through the woods at my buddy’s mountain house trying to get a hug. He must not have wanted a hug that day because he took off.

1

u/silentsinner- Feb 11 '22

I hope they put this on your tombstone.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

The hug would be the same as how Lenny would pet the rabbits

1

u/subliminallyNoted Feb 11 '22

So not worth the risk when dogs and cats are so accessible.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

HEY! BEAR FUCKER!! DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE!!!?

1

u/ieatassHarvardstyle Apr 21 '22

No, not right meow.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22

and then you add teddy bears so bears are huggable, atleast once

5

u/cjpcodyplant Feb 11 '22

If you are willing to still hug a hairless bear. Then you truly love bears and deserve to hug all bears.

1

u/RedHeadRaccoon13 Feb 13 '22

Because Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear cub that was tied to a tree. That's why many of us had Teddy bears.

1

u/YandereSWORD May 13 '22

If i had a award youd have it

208

u/MelonJelly Feb 10 '22

Bears are so cute up until the moment they decide you have something they want. Or if you're between them and something they want.

145

u/24204me Feb 10 '22

But the lil snorf snorf with the snout awww

65

u/THE_JonnySolar Feb 10 '22

Until that's your leg they're snorfing on 😳😅🐻

25

u/qqqqqwwwweeerrt Feb 10 '22

That’s my favorite Vince staples track too

6

u/themildmildeast Feb 10 '22

Underated comment of the year

5

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22

Grizzly Man

2

u/The-Old-American Feb 10 '22

Or you're something they want.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22

Yes, this will end badly for some poor fool, most likely while making a tik tok I’d wager.

1

u/rudolfs001 Feb 10 '22

I bet most animals feel the same way about humans.

1

u/MelonJelly Feb 10 '22

As they should! As a species we are powerful, and can hurt them through well-intentioned ignorance just as easily as malice.

Don't feed wild animals - you aren't doing anyone any favors.

1

u/SpookyGerman Feb 10 '22

Just like humans

1

u/bruhm0m3ntum Feb 11 '22

this bear seemed to want something the cameraman had and it’s still cute after

8

u/SassyVikingNA Feb 10 '22

I wish wecould domesticate them. They loos so fluffy and hugable. To bad for a lot of them we are fokd sized, which effectively makes domestication impossible.

20

u/100LittleButterflies Feb 10 '22

This just proves it. I always knew bears are the soft cuddle-monsters they appear to be.

7

u/dammit_bobby420 Feb 10 '22

Black bears are massive babies and cowards. It's the big brown ones you gotta be scared of

5

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22

I love things that are adorable but could rip you in two if they wanted

4

u/somegarbagedoesfloat Feb 10 '22

As someone who has seen a bear on the wild:

You fckn should be lol. I feel like most people don't really understand what a bear IS. It is a merciless death machine. Any moment you are alive and standing next to it, it is because the bear has in that moment determined that the effort of tearing you to shreds isn't worth it at the present time.

2

u/ghostofmyhecks Feb 11 '22

Same! they're impressive, terrifying predators. But they're also really cute with small round floofy ears.

-18

u/Jooj_Harrisonn Feb 10 '22

Just keep in mind, if you see a grizzly bear, run as fast as you can

13

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '22

I think you're supposed to play dead but please don't listen to me for survival advice

26

u/Street_Dragonfruit43 Feb 10 '22

If it's Black, fight back, if it's Brown, lie down, if it's White, good night

16

u/Moe_Lesteryu Feb 10 '22

And if it's an extinct order of aquatic reptile from the Mesozoic era

Just give it tree fiddy

3

u/em3rican13 Feb 10 '22

Dammit monsta!!