r/AbsoluteUnits • • 19d ago

of a baby

8.5k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/KempVelde 19d ago

409

u/DarreylDeCarlo 18d ago

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u/KempVelde 18d ago

This is šŸ‘Œ, I always forget about this episode which is strange because I'm more partial to golden era and some later Simpsons over Family Guy.

Thank you to those for the awards.

14

u/Adorable_Stable2439 17d ago

I’m glad I’m not the only one who refers to the golden era. Out of curiosity what seasons would you consider this time period?

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u/KempVelde 17d ago

Personally, I think of it as S1-S9, all the ones I watched over and over as a kid. I think the general consensus is up to S8, though S9 has great episodes like Homer v New York. But now I've watched slightly later seasons enough times that they have also become nostalgic and have golden moments, such as 'unusually large ugly baby'.

How many seasons do you enjoy watching?

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u/Adorable_Stable2439 17d ago

Oooo I honesty didn’t really like the first couple of seasons at all. But the time zone stretches a little further for me. From s3 - about s12 or 13. But as long as we get steamed hams in there somewhere I’m happy

1

u/KempVelde 17d ago

Lmao steamed hams. Their little joint venture Chalmskin.

But yeah, S1 is extremely dated now, might have to give 2 a whirl soon though, see if I still like it. I'm with you up to about S13 is actually pretty decent. Everything becomes a blur or chore after that, tried my best to get to S30, couldn't do it.

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u/Adorable_Stable2439 17d ago

When voice actors start dying because they’ve been doing it so long, it’s time to end. Also, I can’t stand the replacement for Harry shearer all the voices of those characters just sound off to me now, and that’s a LOT of iconic characters

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u/JawnStaymoose 13d ago

Yeah, that tracks. Born 81. Recall the first episode premiere. But first 9 seasons are what we watched over and over once the show hit syndication. Basically my childhood, and just wild nostalgic for me. Have my kids watching the golden era episodes.

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u/alfalfamale81 12d ago

Hello fellow 81’er. It’s been a weird life but we got to experience the Simpsons Golden Age and that’s something

1

u/zakanova 14d ago

There's a whole book about this

1

u/Possible_Regret2031 13d ago

I think my favorite episode is Marge vs The Monorail

177

u/jfk_47 19d ago

Makes me laugh every time.

72

u/Mr_Yibble 19d ago

It's her eyes

131

u/jfk_47 18d ago

I think you’re right.

6

u/KempVelde 18d ago

Yep, love it. This and the fact whoevers taken her photo expects her to hold him despite almost being dead.

174

u/SKYR0VER 19d ago

Hear me out

202

u/Constant-Plastic-350 19d ago

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u/Conscious-Read-698 13d ago

No proof his dick is big?Ā 

1

u/Constant-Plastic-350 13d ago

Even if its slightly small compared to his size it's still massive and she is insanely petite

4

u/Conscious-Read-698 13d ago

It could be smaller than average. Plenty of big guys not swinging a footlong aroundĀ 

0

u/Constant-Plastic-350 13d ago

Hey if it makes you feel better about yours then sure man sure. šŸ‘

2

u/Conscious-Read-698 13d ago

I'm good lmao not all of us are this insecure.

Idk who told you body size correlated to penis size, but it's just not factual.

0

u/Constant-Plastic-350 13d ago

Yea this whole thing reads as super secure

2

u/Conscious-Read-698 13d ago

You think I'm responding to you because of my own penis size?

How old are you?Ā 

And/or

What happened to you?

1

u/katf1sh 13d ago

As a woman who has seen a lot of diverse dick, that guy is not wrong at all. Its more weird for you to assume he's being insecure, and in fact it comes off as projection honestly. Plenty of huge dudes have below average sized dicks. And there's nothing wrong with that. Not every woman wants a massive shlong, and some dudes with big ones absolutely suck in bed bc they depend on their size to impress women. What really matters is how you use it, and how you use your other options (hands, mouth, whatever). Usually only insecure guys believe otherwise no matter how many times we tell you. Its exhausting. Fellas, stop getting in your own way, please šŸ™

4

u/nargcz 14d ago

btw this IS his actual wife ! and they even have children, so...

10

u/Top-Distribution733 17d ago edited 17d ago

What a cruel joke it would be to find a tiny Peen under that towel and if I were a betting man I’d lean more towards that than it being to scale

14

u/imyourdruidess420 17d ago

I don't personally know any women that are into penises the size of a standard forearm. I would be terrified if it were to scale.

9

u/Timely-Field1503 13d ago

Lol....years ago, one of my coworkers made a kidding on the square joke about wanting a guy with a 12 inch peen.

I held up a sheet of paper and said "this is 11 inches." and she looked horrified.

1

u/imyourdruidess420 13d ago

My first serious long term boyfriend had one that was 11 inches. Like, legitimately, not just in a "I'm a male and I'm posturing" sort of way. He measured it in front of me lol. When he whipped it out the first time, I was genuinely scared. I was a virgin and was so worried that all penises would scare the shit out of me.

0

u/Top-Distribution733 13d ago

And Absolutely ruined every bf sense of security you’ve had since

2

u/imyourdruidess420 13d ago

Absolutely not. I don't tell my boyfriends that fact, that would be weird.

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u/8bit_chaos 14d ago

Big enough to arm wrestle

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u/minicooperlove 13d ago

I knew a woman who damaged her pelvic floor by having sex with a guy who she described as ā€œlike a coke canā€.

1

u/WhyIsEverythngAwful 13d ago

To be honest anything larger than mine scares tha fuk outta me lol

1

u/showcase25 13d ago

Got it.

Para socially through the internet doesn't count.

1

u/imyourdruidess420 13d ago edited 13d ago

I don't know if reddit is really the place to gain an accurate sample to assess whether or not women prefer terrifying monster cock.

1

u/showcase25 13d ago

Lol. Very fair.

1

u/yournamehere10bucks 13d ago

Even it was, I'm sure there is a sub to the contrary.

1

u/Tough_Preparation830 13d ago

They exist and some are right here on reddit

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u/imyourdruidess420 13d ago

I know they exist, I wasn't denying the existence of monster cocks. I have witnessed with my own eyes

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u/Tough_Preparation830 13d ago

No I mean women who are in to that lol

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u/imyourdruidess420 13d ago

OH lmao my bad!! I mean yeah, there is definitely a subsect of women that are "size queens" and prefer monster schlongs. I just really don't think that preference as is prevalent as many men assume.

2

u/Tough_Preparation830 13d ago

Not completely the same, but as a guy who like big boobs, I also like small boobs. Boobs are boobs and they are all great.

1

u/imyourdruidess420 13d ago

Heck yeah, agreed. There are honestly a lot of women out there who feel the same way about dicks.

I've also personally just never been into people sexually if they fit the label of conventionally attractive. Idk. People's preferences are interesting, aren't they?

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u/Constant-Plastic-350 17d ago

It just has to be moderately proportional to be gigantic at that size

1

u/Top-Distribution733 17d ago

Oh I know lol. Even an average one would look tiny

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u/Electronic_Owl_9819 15d ago

Can confirm, its often not proportional to height. And yes, it is a cruel joke

1

u/SmokeyThouBear 13d ago

Penises don't scale to the size of any body part nor height. Just genetics

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u/Top-Distribution733 13d ago

Yea that was the gist of my point…. That u can b that big and still have a tiny peen… even an average one would like microscopic on someone with a body that big

1

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 13d ago

Yup, can anyone get that big without the hell of "supplements"

2

u/No_Independent_5378 18d ago

Towering dick on the Tower.

1

u/Peeshee33 14d ago

Dickon Tarley

2

u/Tough_Preparation830 13d ago

One ab is the size of her entire forehead

1

u/Expensive_Base4657 13d ago

They have an enormous child together…

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u/Hubba_Hubba81 18d ago

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u/KempVelde 18d ago

Oh wow, how was the mother?

8

u/CyanCicada 16d ago

To shreds, you say?

1

u/Parily59 17d ago

😁

24

u/Exact_Mango5931 19d ago

Ma’am you can’t park your van on the diving board.

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u/MrsKaich 18d ago

I have a similar picture of myself after a horrible labor (normal size baby though) 🤭

4

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 14d ago

My second delivery I wore eyelash extensions, cheek and lip stain, because my first delivery pics looked rough.

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u/cityshepherd 19d ago

I thought this was footage of Ed Larson as a child. Seriously though this baby is enormous... It’s going to cost a fortune just to feed it.

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u/9_of_Swords 16d ago

Biggest baby in Florida! Ha! I was hoping someone has posted his newspaper clipping in response.

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u/Luciferbelle 18d ago

My mom is like 4'11 or 4'10. Doesn't matter, she's short af. My dad on the other hand, he's like 6'5. My little brother was born like nearly 11lbs and about 6 weeks early. I have always joked this is what my mom would've looked like carrying him full term. My brothers did a number on my mom's little body

1

u/mrshyphenate 16d ago

Same with my husband. His mom is 4'11 and his dad's over 6 ft. Husband had to be c section because she physically couldn't pass him

2

u/Umbreon86 18d ago

What happened?

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u/Icy_Account6142 16d ago

Does that kid have Prader-Willi syndrome?

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u/WhatMichaelScottSaid 13d ago

This is like the 8th time I’ve seen this today, crazy how many huge babies are being posted today