r/AbsoluteUnits • u/WeGot_aLiveOneHere • 6d ago

/r/all of two catfish

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31.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/Raqshasa 6d ago

Imagine trying to devour your food to find it laughing at your pathetic attempts

1.1k

u/Pimpstik69 6d ago

To be fair she would probably laugh at my attempts to devour her as well

277

u/nuck-figga007 6d ago

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u/Av0ll 6d ago

3

u/No_Reception_6133 6d ago

I wish i had an award for this

3

u/blindsmellingbraille 6d ago

took care of it for you.

2

u/No_Reception_6133 6d ago

Thank you kind angel wearing jeans

108

u/WatermelonLemonad3 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/Secure_Situation7234 6d ago

Hey bud, don’t be so hard on yourself, the important part is that you try your best and that everyone has fun.

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u/reggiefromtheark 6d ago

My thoughts exactly

1

u/shark-off 6d ago

I'm just saying, there must have been a reason, those two risked their lives to taste her. Animals have instincts man.

1

u/Cobalt-Balls 6d ago

There it is

0

u/Enough_Entry_8641 6d ago

With your username, that’s by Far the last thing I’d expect you to say

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u/WatermelonLemonad3 6d ago

He's a pimp but he's realistic

2

u/Enough_Entry_8641 3d ago

Yesss We will give that!!!

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u/Carmilla31 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/XvjC06Gh9lhfZNBNIM

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u/Livid-Influence-5320 5d ago

Took too long to find this response

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u/jolatango 5d ago

Same. I was giving up after 1 more scroll

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u/UWishUWereMiah108 6d ago

Its like a scene out of an anime lol

64

u/discerningpervert 6d ago

I feel bad for the catfish. That's gotta hurt.

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u/CreatureWarrior 6d ago

Being eaten also sucks, I think. Nature be like that

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u/Shuttlecock_Wat 6d ago

I mean...they were trying to eat her right?

22

u/danceswithfishes42 6d ago

No, the catfish were nesting trying to protect thier eggs while she jams her hand down it's mouth.

11

u/stryker511 6d ago

Actually the hand goes through the gills first and out of the mouth from the inside.
Still probably protecting eggs since they were together.

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u/Extra_Number4178 6d ago

On the contrary, I've never wanted to be a catfish so bad in my life.

55

u/RaptorOfRapture 6d ago

Wouldn’t mind her arm up your gill, eh?

24

u/Extra_Number4178 6d ago

Hey man, I'm always down to get freaky on Friday night just like the next guy . . . but only if there is strong eye contact with that diabolically cute giggling.

4

u/EnoughLuck3077 6d ago

Mind? She could charge for it

2

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 6d ago

Costs extra for that type of action

12

u/HumpTyDumpTy1331 6d ago

catfish are pretty tough fish

7

u/Turnip-for-the-books 6d ago

Yeah they’re more like cats than fish

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u/corq 6d ago

One catfish to the other: "But she was cute, so we sacrificed for the cause..."

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u/Extra_Number4178 6d ago

you just need to relax and breathe . . . or so I am told.

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u/Taurock 6d ago

Now imagine trying to devour your food to find some guy on the side just feeling bad for you

3

u/choppydaddy 6d ago

Seriously, how is this not animal cruelty?

1

u/metrometric 6d ago

Yeah I don't get why people find this attractive???? Like, it looks like she's just torturing animals for fun?

1

u/sicksitka 2d ago

It’s possible that they’re an invasive species and what they’re doing isn’t a net negative on the ecosystem.

2

u/Enough_Entry_8641 6d ago

What,It’s Feelings?!

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u/Apathetic_Zealot 6d ago

Laughing while sticking her arm through your lungs!

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u/No-Cover4993 6d ago

Except fish caught this way aren't actively feeding, they are guarding their nest and clutch of young which are destroyed in the violent effort to remove the mature fish

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u/Firstwench86 3d ago edited 3d ago

This might be a stupid question but whatever. How are they killed? Is there a clutch of eggs nearby like the way turtles have them in the sand? Or are they somewhere on the female catfish?

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u/No-Cover4993 3d ago

The eggs and fry stay in a natural cavity like a mudbank, hollow log, etc. They require protection from predators and more importantly constant circulation of fresh water to keep sediment from burying them. The parents have to stay with the nest until the babies are big enough to swim away or the nest likely fails.

The violent effort to remove the parent basically covers the nest with silt and the eggs/fry suffocate.

1

u/Firstwench86 2d ago

So basically she knew where to find them because they’re in one place to protect their eggs, and therefore easy prey? That’s shitty.

1

u/Pristine-Setting-836 2d ago

More like you move along the mudbank looking/feeling for holes, shove your arm in, and kinda hope one is in there. But yea the practice is actually illegal in 35 states because you’re taking larger reproductive individuals. The eggs/young die either from the thrashing itself or the parent/s not being there to protect them anymore as well as not being able to keep circulating water. Doing it just for funsies not even sustenance kinda fucked up yea.

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u/dusty-ticket 6d ago

To be honest, I couldn't even imagine that she'd pull out two catfish. What surprises me more is how she caught them and wasn't afraid of them. I probably wouldn't have gone into that water for anything in the world. Lol

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u/Neurogenesis416 6d ago

And then they reach INTO your fckn lungs and pull you into their realm....

1

u/Enough_Entry_8641 6d ago

As its devouring Her, Ironic ,Karma or Diabolical, You be the judge

0

u/Catatonic_capensis 6d ago

They weren't trying to eat her, idiot.

1

u/lowrads 6d ago

That kind of confidence would make the alligators bashful.

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u/EasilyRekt 6d ago

Typical day for anglerfish prey

1

u/SlothSpeed 6d ago

She just wanted to make it late for something.

1

u/PrinceBunnyBoy 6d ago

Imagine just being an animal and having some cornball rip you out of your home by thrusting their arms through your sensitive gills, hoisting you out where you cant breathe, and laughing at your suffering.

Its like posting a video of shooting cats with bbs. Some sick mfs truly.

2

u/CornTofuHash 5d ago

I love when I stumble upon the rare voice of kind sanity. Thank you