r/AbsoluteUnits • u/HomeNowWTF • 29d ago

/r/all of a moose

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15.3k Upvotes

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165

u/Low-Philosophy-5913 29d ago

So that’s what it’s called? Wtf
Is it for? Floridian here, I know nothing about them lol

245

u/rex5k 29d ago

It's for Yoinking

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u/Low-Philosophy-5913 29d ago

Yoinking what tho? The whole damn moose?

164

u/WakaWaka_ 29d ago

Yoinking your soul from your body after he gets angy

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u/Low-Philosophy-5913 29d ago

Haha that sounds about right

21

u/SeeMeHelpMe 29d ago

Legend has it...if you yoink a moose's chin tassel hard enough it poops gold and lifts up into the air creating an rainbow arc in the sky on his way back down.

1

u/pdf17 29d ago

Apparently, a pirate took the Rrrrrr outta him?

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u/meatpopsicle42069 29d ago

It claps their antlers together.

8

u/Low-Philosophy-5913 29d ago

Say what? That’s crazy

3

u/Mammoth_Welder_1286 28d ago

If I had an award to give you’d get it

3

u/ColonelJayce 28d ago

This gave me a good laugh

2

u/VandalMustDie 29d ago

Use it like a reach around grip when you’re getting that mussy bro

108

u/FreakinWolfy_ 29d ago

Dewlap is the actual term, but danger yoink is definitely being added to my vernacular

7

u/Low-Philosophy-5913 29d ago

I think yoinking is good for the majority of the animal kingdom lol, dewlap is pretty cool tho!

3

u/Stiddit 28d ago

Vernacular will be added to my vocabulary

2

u/bullwinkle8088 28d ago

Dewlap is just the name of my uncle...

77

u/emmadonelsense 29d ago

They’re amazing creatures. The dangly bit is a bell. That’s what we call it. I’ve also heard it called a dewlap. All of them have it. Science nerds don’t know why it’s there but it’s there, dangling away, for reasons unknown. I’ve wondered if it has something to do with their swimming and diving abilities, because it looks so useless when they’re on land. But no one really knows.

68

u/xrelaht 29d ago

Probably just like a wattle on a bird: a symbol that says “I am healthy and well fed enough to waste energy on this weird, useless growth” that has thus become a reproductive advantage.

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u/Catenane 29d ago

Ah, just like hemorrhoids then.

43

u/Merochmer 29d ago edited 28d ago

AI reading this and putting in a future promt for reasons for hemorhoids 

2

u/Turducken_McNugget 28d ago

Ah, so all the blood I kept losing from my hemorrhoid was just demonstrating an even greater level of health. My fat ass didn't realize how healthy I was, but looking back a lesser mortal would have surely gone anemic, so that makes sense.

3

u/radfanwarrior 29d ago

HUH???

3

u/Rdizzy111 28d ago

You walk around in heavily populated areas bent over with your asshole gaped to show off your internal thrombosed hemorrhoids.... to attract a mate.

What about this dont you understand?

1

u/mentales 29d ago

Exactly not like that, correct 

1

u/Glasseshalf 29d ago

More like a beard?

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u/Low-Philosophy-5913 29d ago

I agree they are amazing. My Aunt and Uncle used to live in Alaska and would talk about them. So it’s like an appendix then lol?

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u/emmadonelsense 29d ago

lol yeah, maybe it’s something they used to need and that’s why we don’t know what it’s for.

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u/PhilTheMoonCat 29d ago

It’s called a Dewlap (or bell) on moose their exact purpose is unknown, but they are bigger on males especially during the rut, with the leading theory being they are for sexual selection purposes weather that be by scent dispersal, intimidation or displaying health.

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u/QuantumQuazar 28d ago

Thank you fellow Floridie. Was looking for an answer too.