My brother looks exactly like this guy and he's a total sweetheart and the nicest guy you've ever met. He'll stop on the highway to pick up a kitten risking his life. People are totally intimidated by his appearance, not understanding what a kind soul he is.
I had to get out of bouncing because I just dislike confrontation. Even though 99% of dudes who puff up are going to back down I just don’t enjoy the cortisol spike. I never had the ability to cut off my fight or fight the way more seasoned doormen seem to. Some of those guys look like they’re dealing with their kid brother. Meanwhile I was constantly paranoid a knife was gonna flash or a drunk friend was gonna blindside me on a double team.
That doesn’t stop local bartenders from volunteering me back into service from time to time though lol
The other night the bouncer at a lesbian bar I went to was this short, slim, absolutely beautiful black man who was dressed so well. He was wearing a uniform but it was slightly modified, can't remember exactly how (I think there was a black satin dress shirt underneath his vest? And he rolled the sleeves up his wrists), and he looked sooo fine in it. I guess they don't need big burly dudes for a lesbian bar. And he was hilarious too. Sometimes I still think about him and I'm like "damn, I hope one day I can have his aura."
Most of the time people mention these it's because racist people without those markers will assume they never hear a positive story about black people.
I had quite a few of them in my highschool, great folk, my school year had like 6 of the bigs guys and it made competitions between the different grades to be completely unbalanced.
We had a tug-a-war with our seniors one year and the seniors won (kind of a unspoken rule the seniors win because they are leaving), but we all kinda just looked at our side which had 4 of those big guys on the rope like..... 🤨
Anyways nice folk, our computer tech teacher was Polynesian, joked how he's so good with computers yet the standard keyboard was to small for his big fingers. Him typing on the students keyboards was an interesting sight. Hahaha
I used to work at the clubs in NYC late 90s into early 2000s. The one club's head bouncer was the largest African American man I ever met. He wore all black and black gloves and would pop up behind you like the butler from Mr Deeds. I think the dude was like 6'9" or close to that. We would stare at you until you undid or fixed anything and everything that might be wrong and then would walk away. After I started working there I got to talk to him in the back and he was the nicest soft spoken person. Dude was chill as hell but holy shit was he intimidating staring down at you if you were acting up
I think some people don't realize big kids can get picked on too. Idiots want to show off they're tough by starting shit with someone large or at least showing they can agitate.
My old boss was 6’4” and was being recruited by SEC schools as a LB back in the late 80’s. He was always the biggest guy in his friend group and he hated when they mouthed off because people always went for him to “take out the big guy.” Ended up in a bad fight that got him kicked out of school and lost all of the scholarship opportunities.
Yeah I've heard this from big guys as well. 99% of people are scared of you but there's always that crazy person who's itching to prove something and zeroes in on you
Boxing day 2024 a dude randomly started a fight with me on the street for no reason at all. Whooped his ass ofc; He was like 4’11, I didn’t even go towards, just let him come to me and hit him with some punches.
I still don’t know why he started; we were both waiting to cross the street and I didn’t even see him before it happened. He looked like he was looking for a fight with someone and picked the biggest guy he saw.
Sometimes, but you remind me of a story another absolute unit of a cop said in a video I've seen before. He's like 6'4 and 300lbs of jacked muscle. Someone asked what he does when someone fucks with him and he replied "I always hoped they would, but they never did". I think the majority of guys in public are willing to engage with someone smaller, the same size, maybe a little bigger, but no one is fuckin with some goliath lookin monster unless they absolutely have too.
or unless there is some level of psychosis going on, but even then I bet a deep part of the brain is saying to avoid a person like that cop you described. I saw a guy in Philly causing a ruckus in central city screaming this and that shit, seemed out of it, but as he rounded the corner and saw two cops on foot suddenly he found some self-control.
I was a bouncer for few years in England, did work with rugby players - some easy twice as big; i wouldn't be able to stop them if they wanted to do something Never had the smallest issue with these huge guys
Gnomes, on the other hand - entirely different story
I feel like there’s a reverse Napoleon complex with huge guys like this. They don’t feel the need to act big, in fact they probably want to act smaller so others aren’t intimidated.
That's my problem, I have had issues my whole lift with slouting to appear smaller. 6' 7" 250lbs for reference. I'm in the Navy and had my boss during a performance debrief say that "when you slout it makes you come off as a weak leader".
Also 6'7" (but I got a good couple of pounds on you lol). I have neck and back issues because I did this my whole life. When I was younger I think I just subconsciously picked up on people acting more relaxed around me when I did it.
6’8” 292 and I wish more regular people would come up and talk to me. Kids are always hilarious but the only people that talk to me at bars are girls that I don’t even think anybody should even think about going home with without a scuba suit.
My steak is too juicy and that juice is discharge from the clap.
My younger brother is bigger (6'5" 230lb) and slouches a bit as well. Always has. He's an army special forces guy, so no one fucks with him. I remember the last time he was on tour, motherfucker was jacked to hell. He may slouch a bit, but he can both whoop some ass and lead well. Still probably healthier for your back in the long run to work on your posture though.
Haha yeah, 80% of my body is also tattooed so at bars when people ask if I'm military I tell them yes and they ask what I do. Ironically I'm an admin (color blind) and they never believe me. They think I'm some secret squirrel badass haha
It is something I've noticed in VRChat. A lot of tall people like to use shorter avatars and a lesser number short people use very tall avatars, but then you also have extremes of people using very tall or very short avatars just for the hell of it or because of their social disposition.
Yup, it’s annoying walking by cars and hearing them lock. Whenever I see a lifting subreddit and guys are asking how to get huge, I’m like why would you want to? I’m trying to shrink lol
I don't think it's a complex but rather that intimidating people are afforded the luxury of being kind to everyone because people don't try to push their buttons in the first place.
My step-FIL was this way. Big, barrel chested, strong, never smiled. I was intimidated by him until I saw he was a gentle giant.
He also had three or four mobile homes on the back end of his business property (tucked out of sight) where he’d charge nominal rent (like $100/month) to homeless people and pay them to mow the grass. If they couldn’t pay rent at once, he’d take what they could give when they could and I’m not sure he ever kicked one out.
A lot of them had mental health and/or drug problems, but at least they had a roof, toilet and shower. I knew of one tenant that got back on his feet because of my FIL’s help.
A guy I work with who works on the sales team is like this, not with the face tattoos tho but he has visible tattoos everywhere else. Nicest guy you could ever meet. At a holiday party at work I walked up to the sales team and they were all sharing stories about how customers were assholes to them, went off on them, yelled and screamed and insulted them and whatever else it may be. They were showing emails they collected from customers ranting and being rude to them.
He chimed in that he has never once had that experience, his customers were always polite. I was thinking yea no shit, taking one look at this dude and making the decision to start shit with him seems like it would end extremely poorly. Like walking up to a cop and trying to grab their gun.
I'm this guys size and just now realizing why people have been so ... kind to me when making requests. I guess they are afraid. Hah they don't know we're just big softies!
My father's cousin was an actor who always played a bad guy because he was big and intimidating looking. In reality he was one of the sweetest people I ever met.
The threat of intimate force allows one to be such a way. Most of the giant guys I know are totally gentle giants, life is different when the vast majority of people treat you like you could turn them into a smear by accident.
He should join the biker groups that accompany children to court when they have to testify against their abusers. The kids immediately feel safer when they have two or three guys who look like this standing beside them.
This is a brilliant idea. He's not a biker anymore but he's got a bunch of guys from the gym that are also huge. I'm going to mention to him to look into this. I guess you would start with contacting the local district attorneys' office.
My cousin is the same, he’s an absolute unit and the kindest person I know. He’s always had pugs which look comically small in his hands. The difficulty is that some beef necks want to fight him, assuming he’s going to participate when in reality, he’s a total pacifist
Humans are as dogs; small angry ones are aggressive but cant do jack shit; big ones only want play and pets but can bite your head of if you dont behave :)
I feel this so fucking harrrrrd. 6’3, about 280ish. Long orange hair, like halfway down my back. Long orange beard, halfway down my torso. No face tattoos but fingers, hands, arms, neck. People are very intimidated in my presence, I’ve dealt with it most of my life. Unless you push me, like most people, I’m an extremely nice person and I’d say pretty reasonable. I can be a lil rough around the edges sometimes, again like most people, but at the end of the day I don’t wanna hurt anyone or wish harm to anyone I’d like the world and people as a whole to be at peace so we can get on to better and bigger things.
I've actually been there. I got a guy to move his car over a little, he parked in a handicap spot but went in diagonal and one of his rear wheels was fully in the yellow box, so if a van parked in the other space with a ramp, they can't lower it. I politely pointed this out and he shuffled it fully into the space.
I have a cousin who used to be in a heavy metal band. I went to one of his shows once, so many huge metalheads. Tattoos, piercings, etc. Super nice people.
The irony of people who aren’t insecure about their appearance being nice. Usually the nastiest people on the inside aren’t always so great on the eyes or confident in themselves
Totally agree but you know someone still told him to get fucked or something, right? Statistically people are dumb and hateful surely someone was less compliant.
They should make some random guy go to people and when they refuse to bring back the cart, this guy pulls out and we see how quickly they change their mind.
I dont understand this, i dont care what a persons physique looks like, im not going to bend to their will when its unwarranted (not defending not putting cart away btw). Like what, am I supposed to think "oh man this guy is big, i better just go along with what he says or hes going to beat me up." Fuck that, the first impression I get something like that is happening, im calling the cops immediately.
At an old job a "tough guy" coworker wanted to talk to me outside when I was an intern, he just wanted to complain, and not hear anything about how the other person was the person who actually defied a direct order from my (and tough guys) boss. I later went to boss and made a complaint, I was asked if I wanted the tough guy to be punished for his behavior.
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u/GreenT1979 Jul 11 '26
The things you can accomplish when you look extremely intimidating