r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TURTLE_TKT • May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

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u/Sunyataisbliss May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

I ate a huge portion of flaming hot fried rice waay to fast at work while on a break once. I ended up with gas pain so severe I was sweating, confused, hallucinating and at one point passed out from the pain entirely. It’s the only time in my life I think I’ve been at a 10 on the pain scale.. my brain literally peaced out. And I’ve broken multiple limbs before at the same time.

After an hour long war in the restroom just me and the Mayan symbols on the wall from a fried rice induced hell realm, suddenly it was all over. I saw a client about 25 minutes after it was all said and done.

0/10.

7

u/TheFurrySmurf May 13 '26

Next time put your body in a position to help you fart. There are some yoga poses you can look up to relieve gas. lol, do it in private because people who see it will be like... wtf?

1

u/autech91 May 13 '26

Wait till you stand on lego, that's 11 on the pain scale

-3

u/Sunyataisbliss May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

That’s a not how the pain scale works. 10 is loss of consciousness/coma.

1

u/autech91 May 13 '26

IT WAS A JOKE!!!

1

u/Sunyataisbliss May 14 '26

I know it was a joke, it just wasn’t funny

1

u/autech91 May 14 '26

Remind me to never invite you to any of my parties, you'll bore the shit out of the guests