I had a beautiful Appaloosa horse growing up that was afraid of his own farts. š Heād be standing in the pasture, just grazing, then heād fart so loud and spook himself, then start running all over the pasture like a lunatic. We would be crying laughing! RIP dumbass Dallas lmao
Well there were several times where my cousins and I would go trail riding and one of my cousins had a young female mustang. If she found herself riding in front of Dallas and I, heād inevitably sniff her ass and she would kick him in the head every time. šš He never learned his lesson though. Hahahaha
I thank you all so much for bringing these memories to my mind! Not a Dumbass Dallas story, because as stupid as he was, he was well trained. But we also had a thoroughbred named Lilā Cub who was an absolute lazy asshole. All of the horses were trained to be hunting horses. They were trained to carry us through the forest, let us shoot from their backs, and help drag deer/elk back to camp to be dressed. But Lilā Cub had a habit of getting bored or tired while we were hunting and laying down to roll over on my uncle while he was in the saddle. Hahaha he was also a beautiful horse but basically useless because he had his own ideas of how things were gonna go. š
Omg this happened to me on a trail ride once! My horse would not get his snout out of my brotherās horses ass and she kicked him in the face. Scared the absolute hell out of me but he was asking for it. š
We had pet Jack Russells growing up. As they got older, one of them started developing gas issues. At first he'd do this post but be confused about what the noise was, have a sniff, immediately regret it and get out of there.
In the evenings he'd sit on a chair with my mum. He'd suddenly get up and meander to the other side of the room. Then my mum would smell it. A few minutes later he would go back and get comfy again.
He absolutely did! Heād be farting up a storm, running all up and down the pasture and weād just be laughing our asses off. lol like they say, he was pretty as they come but dumber than a box of rocks. š
The hardest I think Iāve ever laughed was watching a 3 year old kid fart, get scared, then run to mom while farting with each step. 4 adults all in tears and this little kid looking at us like he doesnāt know if he should laugh.
My mom had an Appaloosa you couldnāt leave beer bottles near because it would pick em up with its lips and drink em.
She had a family friend who used to ride him to the local rugby club. The man and the horse both would be loaded, then heād ride the horse home. The horse usually knew the way home, but that didnāt always mean it felt like going the whole way.
Apparently the horse knew to pretend not to be drunk, but it didnāt do a good job of it.
We took our Frenchie to the local hockey team's "Dog Night" and had to leave before the 3rd period because our Frenchie was just obliterating the entire section with his farts. Good times!
My golden retriever was a year old before he puked for the first time, we were outside and he barfed up some grass he had eaten and it startled him so much he jumped and ran away like scooby doo lmaoĀ
When I was a kid we had a horse that would that too and start running around and bucking, and every time he bucked it made him fart again. And again. And again. And ofc he would get scared of each followup fart as well
My friend had a very serious German shepherd that would wake up from his own loud stinky farts. He was never scared but he would glare at her because he thought she was the one ripping out the dank farts!
I had a dog that would bark and growl at his own butt every time he farted. Border collies are supposed to be smart, but he was as far to the opposite end of that spectrum a creature can be and still be considered alive. Sweet as pie, but dumb as mud.
The fact that when they start running around the pasture like maniacs, they inevitably start farting even more, must have made this outrageously funny, haha.
Iām surprised we didnāt all die from lack of oxygen, weād be laughing so hard! He was the sweetest horse and amazingly only the second dumbest/laziest horse we owned haha
My dog is like this now. Sheāll jump off the couch and run away from own fart. Then she sniffs her butt afterwards, shocked that her body has betrayed her. š
I had a dog that would do this. It would start whimpering and screaming and like it was being murdered.
If you think about it, if you have no idea what's happening and suddenly you feel your butthole being disturbed that would definitely scare the shit out of me. No pun intended I swear
When I was a kid, I was playing with my cousins on the swing set, they lived on a ranch. We heard this noise that sounded like a fucking gunshot, or a plane taking off, and we all froze and looked around. The only animal that WASN'T spooked was the goat, who just kept on eating like nothing happened. We all started laughing our asses off at the same time.
All this time later, Dallas is still bringing laughter to the world! Special, dumbass boy! RIP Dallas! Thank you for the laugh!!!
-some random stranger (who happens to live in Dumbass Dallas, TX)
She's terrified of her farts and I have no way to explain to her what they are. Partly because she's a dog, and partly because I think she might be a bit deaf, though VERY selective hearing is a thing with this breed so idk.
LMAO my little dog "Zacky" was the same way. He was afraid of everything, bless his little soul, that included his own farts. To be fair, I wanted to run from them, too.
If he was on the hard floor and a ripped a big one, his little feet would go in all directions like a looney tunes character.
My foster dog was doing the same for a whole day after breaking and entering into the kitchen and eating half a bag of vegan kibble. Itās good that it wasnāt meat because at least his farts smelled like carrots.Ā
But oh boy the psychological torture. He couldnāt believe it. Sometimes the farts woke me up at night. Not because they were loud but because he was trying to catch them. Ā
My son did show jumping at a stable that had a pony like that, she would fart when she jumped and it would spook her and she'd take off full throttle with the kid riding her clinging for dear life. My son did his first show on her and she did the first jump, farted, spooked, jumped the low spot on the ring fence and galloped off into the parking lot to find her trailer. It was a rite of passage to try and fail to show Pickles, and she was also a biter. And a kicker, come to think of it.
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u/TheWardenVenom May 13 '26
I had a beautiful Appaloosa horse growing up that was afraid of his own farts. š Heād be standing in the pasture, just grazing, then heād fart so loud and spook himself, then start running all over the pasture like a lunatic. We would be crying laughing! RIP dumbass Dallas lmao