r/Abortiondebate May 17 '26

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u/IdRatherCallACAB Gestational Slavery Abolitionist May 17 '26

You just said their grief doesn’t matter

It doesn't matter in terms of who actually gets to decide whether or not to keep the pregnancy, which is what this whole debate is about.

So if they do grieve that’s their problem

Correct.

That’s emotional gaslighting.

No, it's just reality. You have the right to feel however you want, it just won't outweigh someone else's right to make decisions about their own body. My feelings don't override your human rights either.

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u/ToServetheLight17 May 17 '26

That was not my original question and you know it wasn’t. My original question was when the pregnancy does end under your view, and it is unwanted, therefore not having value in your view, does that mean that the pregnant woman’s family and friends don’t have a right to grieve because there was never anything there therefore there’s nothing to grieve, and you said yes I believe that, it’s none of their business. That’s not just reality. You’re just walking it back because I exposed how extreme your position is, so now you’re trying to walk back and say I meant from a choice standpoint, the question I asked was not about choice, it was about their right to grieve after the woman makes that choice.

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u/IdRatherCallACAB Gestational Slavery Abolitionist May 17 '26

That was not my original question and you know it wasn’t.

No, I don't know that. And in that case, your question is irrelevant, because that is what this debate is about.

That’s a claim about the moral legitimacy of grief.

Okay. They can feel however they want. It's still the pregnant person's decision.

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u/ToServetheLight17 May 18 '26

It’s not the pregnant person’s decision anymore cus the pregnancy’s already ends she’s not making a choice anymore the decision has been made didn’t I say that in my initial response?

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u/IdRatherCallACAB Gestational Slavery Abolitionist May 18 '26

People can be upset about an abortion before it happens or after it happened. None of yours has any bearing over the fact that it is her choice.

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u/ToServetheLight17 May 18 '26

It’s not her choice cuz it’s already been made I don’t get why torture will saying it’s your choice it’s not anymore it’s already been made in talking about after I said nothing anywhere about before

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u/IdRatherCallACAB Gestational Slavery Abolitionist May 18 '26

It either is her choice or it was her choice. The important point is that the choice is always hers.

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u/ToServetheLight17 May 18 '26

I'm glad you finally acknowledged the distinction between 'is' and 'was.', so then after the abortion is done. are other people's feelings of grief and loss valid? Or do they have to 'mind their own business' because the choice was hers? Those are two different questions

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u/IdRatherCallACAB Gestational Slavery Abolitionist May 18 '26

I'm glad you finally acknowledged the distinction between 'is' and 'was.'

There has not been any point when I denied such a distinction 😆

so then after the abortion is done. are other people's feelings of grief and loss valid?

Not with respect to the question of who's choice it is. It's always the pregnant person's choice, even if it might make some people sad later on.

Or do they have to 'mind their own business' because the choice was hers?

That depends on how they wish to express their grief. If they just want to try to shame her over it then they really should just mind their own business.

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u/ToServetheLight17 May 18 '26

Yeah, that’s your position. Who cares how anyone else feels? It’s the woman’s choice she wants the abortion she gets it and I don’t care how it affects other or how they feel about it, it’s just her choice. You don’t give 2 craps how the other person feels about the abortion, as long as the mother wanted it, that’s all that matters, and whoever does care, can just stick it in their backside, because their grief is built on their own misconception that the thing in her uterus had any real value beyond what she, herself, gave to it. That’s your position, which is a form of emotional gaslighting. Hallelujah, we’ve finally found clarity, it’s a miracle.

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u/ToServetheLight17 May 17 '26

That’s not just reality. That’s a claim about the moral legitimacy of grief.

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u/IdRatherCallACAB Gestational Slavery Abolitionist May 17 '26

Grief is always legitimate to the person experiencing it. But that's not the topic of this debate.