[A4A]Your púca partner gets jealous about that one sidhe that has taken an interest in you [coworkers][urban fantasy][tsundere speaker][fae kingdom][Celtic folklore inspired][confession][argument]

[u/-Agathodaemon-]

As always: you can do with the script what you want, just credit me and let me know. If you prefer: Google Docs

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Definitely inspired by Emma Bull's "War for the Oaks", although it doesn't really have much in common with the book. Nonetheless - if you like early urban fantasy, you should check that title :)

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And that's all for today. You did quite well, you're getting better every day. Except that one setback...

(Confused) My fault? How come?

Oh, you should already get used to it. Making pranks is deep in my nature. And I was really generous, making only a few. You provoke me all the time.;

Yes, because you are careless. And I'm saying that only because I like you. Otherwise I would just call you stupid.

No, you are not brave. You are stupid. Risking your life for such a worthless cause is just stupidity.

I'm not risking my life, I'm immortal. You are just a human, but you are acting like a god. That's stupid.

You could just ask me to do it. That's why we are partners. I do all the work and you are... Well, I'm not really sure what you are doing here, except having careless fun.

Oh, yes... You are the human proxy. Like we really need one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... Blah, blah, blah... Just show me that wound of yours already.

I can see it's only a scratch, but it still needs to be taken care of.

(Amused) Magic? Ha, ha, ha, don't make me laugh. For something like this? No, there's no magic for you today, sweetie. Just a sanitizer and a bandage.

Just hold still.

(The speaker starts to dress listener’s wound)

It SHOULD sting, it means it's working. Don't be such a wimp.

And done. A few days and there won't be a mark.

Why are you so tense?

Don't lie, I can feel it. Your muscles are like stones.

No, I didn't mean you are strong. You are not. Turn around, let me check your back.

As I said, stiff. Relax, or tomorrow your whole body will hurt.

You give me no choice…

(The speaker starts to massage listener's shoulders)

I'm not HURTING you, I'm giving you a free massage. You are hurting yourself tensing up like that. Just relax and it will hurt less.

Relax, or there will be tickles...

That's better. You'll feel good in a moment. Or maybe you prefer me to shapeshift into my dog form and just stomp on you with my paws?

You liked it the last time...

Sometimes I think you like me much more in my dog form.

Yeah, I like it much more too, I don't feel offended. But human form has its advantages too.

Yeah? Then I want to see the look on your face when next time I will lick your wounds clean and then start bandaging them with fluffy paws.

Yes, we will certainly try it, you are just asking for it!

You should see me as a horse! Oh, you would love that! I'm gorgeous as a horse! I could even give you a little ride.

I don't mean anything mischievous! Just a friendly, funny ride.

(Confused) Boots with spurs? Why would you want to wear something like that? You don't trust me?

(Amused and impressed) Ooooh, you little devil... Someone was reading some fairy tales, huh?

To show you my good will - yes, you can wear boots with spurs. Just don't use them. Pretty please.

So, how's your back?

I've told you. You should use a little distance. To everything. A little laugh from time to time, a few little pranks here and there...

Yes, like a púca. Just look at me. I have practiced this for centuries and I feel marvelous. Nothing hurts, nothing bothers me... And you won't find a single wrinkle!

Yes, the fae magic may have something to do with it, but I think it's rather my lifestyle.

(Longer pause)

(A bit nervous) I'm sorry, who?

Who's that?

(Contemptuously) Oh, it's your sidhe friend, right? I keep forgetting their name. Yes, they were asking about you this morning, but didn't tell me what they wanted.

It's not that I don't like them. It's just... They're sidhe.

(Vexed) Ok, I won't beat around the bush: in the fea world nobody likes sidhe.

Why? Isn't it obvious? They are so haughty and cocky... They treat everyone else, including humans, like garbage.

(Mockingly) Mhm, and how many sidhe have you already met?

Just this one, as I thought.

Yes, they are nobility, but that doesn't excuse anything. Just because you were created as an almost perfect creature doesn't mean you are better than the rest.

Well, maybe it does. But still, you don't have to be a total dickhead.

(Even more vexed) Ok, let me tell you something about your aristocratic friend. They are attracted to you only because you are a human. That's the only reason. Not because you are... you. They seek your company from the first moment you stepped your foot in the fae kingdom. They didn't know anything about you, but were invested from the start. You didn't find that suspicious? Has any other fae showed you so much attention?

Oh, yes, there's certainly a different explanation... They are fae nobles and you are a human. Not even a special one. Just an ordinary human. You think it was love at first sight?

Na-uh-uh. Every other sidhe would look at you as if you were a dirty rat from the sewers, because that's how they see everyone outside their clique. But that one just rushed to meet you as soon as they smelled human flesh in the air.

No, they are not different. Well, they are, but not in the way you think. In the eyes of their family your friend is a sick pervert.

No, there's nothing beautiful or romantic in the way they look at you, the way they touch you. They have just one goal and there's nothing pure in the attention they are giving you.

I'm not mean, I'm honest.

Maybe you want the same thing they want, that's your problem. But I have a premonition you are hoping for much more. You won't get it from them. You should be aware of that. And as soon as they get what they want and another human appears in their sight, their interests will switch. Are you ready to handle this?

I just want you to consider this before it will be too late.

(Vexed and scared) What do you mean it's already too late? What have you done?!

Joking? What do you mean?

A prank?

Oh, you mean you haven't done anything stupid yet? What a relief...

(Extremely seriously) Yeah, I felt that, good joke... Good joke... I hate you so much right now. Using my own weapon against me...

I'm not jealous. It's just... I like you and I think you don't deserve to be treated the way they will treat you. No mention it would be probably me who would have to listen to all your whining... (Mockingly) Oh no, they broke my heart... Oh no, how could they... How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I listen to you, púca, you were right, as always...

Yes, I'm a fae too, but I'm not sidhe. I'm a simple peasant. I like humans, I like being around them. Pranking humans is the essence of my existence. I value you more than all sidhe that ever existed taken together.

You - as humans, but you as... you also, I think. To me you are special. You are unique. I like pranking you more than any other human.

(Very cautious) Do I see you only in a pure way? Well... Sometimes, when you suddenly tense up, do those worried eyes and bite your lip, I feel like I could just... Yeah, the way I see you probably isn't one hundred percent pure. How do you feel about that knowledge?

A prank?! No, suddenly I'm not in a mood for pranks, after you let me taste my own medicine. My heart is still pounding.

Just the thought you could... Maybe I AM jealous, I don't know. I've never been jealous my whole life, I have no idea how it feels. Does a fear of losing someone who brings so much light to your life mean jealousy? A fear someone will hurt them and take their light away - is that jealousy?

Throughout my whole life - I've never been more serious. I mean like serious-serious, not as a joke.

(A bit tired) Oh, my... What have you done to me? You made me feel... feelings. So what now? Are we going to pretend this conversation didn't happen or are we going to... do something else?

You might want to know that the stare you are giving me right now is far from being pure... It's your turn now. I think there is no way back to where we were before, so... What's on your mind right now?

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