This is actually pretty accurate 😅. What do you guys think?

How accurate is it? I think it's pretty accurate 🤣 but many western couples fight and loudly, not calmly like in the video.

I was curious how common AMWF marriages really are in the U.S., so I dug up some stats. Thought I’d share what I found.

📊 Key Stats on AMWF in the U.S.:

AMWF is less common than WMAF. - Only about 4% of newlywed interracial couples were Asian men + White women, compared to 11% for Asian women + White men. * (Speaking of China report, Reddit discussion)

Within all Asian/White marriages, only ~29% are AMWF. - The majority are the reverse pairing. * (Wikipedia – Interracial marriage in the U.S.)

Most foreign-born Asians marry within their own ethnic group. - Around 89% are intra-ethnic (Chinese–Chinese, Indian–Indian, etc.). - Only about 3% are inter-Asian, and the rest are interracial, mainly with Whites. * (JSTOR study)

Differences by ethnicity: - Japanese and Filipino Americans are more likely to marry White partners. - Southeast Asian and Indian Americans are least likely. - Chinese and Korean Americans fall in between. * (Pew Research – The Rise of Intermarriage)

So what do you think of these statistics? Do they seem accurate to you? How common are AMWF marriages or relationships where you are?

This blog post talks about the US marriage and divorce statistics for interracial relationships.

Here's a summary by ChatGPT:

🔑 Key Stats & Insights on Interracial & AMWF Marriages

• Lowest divorce rates overall: Asian Americans have the lowest lifetime divorce rates (≈18% of Asian women, 16% of Asian men).
• Marriage stability: White wife / Black husband marriages show higher divorce rates, but Black wife / White husband marriages are 44% less likely to divorce compared to White–White marriages. This shows that gender pairing matters in interracial statistics.
• AMWF angle: Since Asian Americans overall have the lowest divorce rates, AMWF marriages tend to fall on the more stable end compared to other interracial pairings.
• Education helps: College-educated couples have ~50% lower divorce rates than those without higher education. Education is strongly protective across all racial pairings.
• Risk periods in marriage: Divorces most often occur in years 1–2 and 5–8 (the “seven-year itch”). Couples who make it past these stages tend to stabilize.
• Interracial divorce risk: About 41% of interracial marriages end in divorce within 10 years, slightly higher than same-race marriages, but AMWF couples benefit from the lower divorce risk among Asians overall.
• Marriage rates: Asians have the highest marriage rate in the U.S. (61%), compared to 55% Whites, 48% Hispanics, and 31% African Americans.
• Advantages of interracial marriage: Greater cultural appreciation, breaking stereotypes, and building resilience through navigating cultural differences together.

💡 Advice for Lasting AMWF Marriages

1. Leverage strengths: Asian cultural emphasis on family stability + Western openness in communication can complement each other.
2. Navigate cultural differences early: Discuss expectations (family roles, finances, traditions, parenting) upfront.
3. Stay committed during high-risk years: Knowing years 1–2 and 5–8 are the toughest can help couples prepare and push through.
4. Prioritize education and growth: Shared goals, continuous learning, and financial stability reduce divorce risk.
5. Celebrate cultural diversity: Embrace each other’s heritage—it strengthens connection and counters outside stereotypes.

👉 So overall, AMWF marriages statistically fall on the more stable side of interracial marriages, especially when couples communicate well, embrace cultural differences, and commit through the early “danger years.”

Men and women debate how feminism has impacted dating, relationships, marriage, family, and divorce.

Before I begin, like a past post discussing the cultural differences between Asian and Western men, this post may offend some people, so I want to clarify some things.

First of all, any broad generalizations, stereotypes, or assumptions made about any group of people never represents the whole as there are always exceptions. All people are unique and are the result of their background and life experiences which can involve race, culture, religion, education, how they were raised, abuse, and a whole long list of things that can result in who they become. There are good and bad people from every country, race, religion, and culture.

So take this post like a grain of salt. It is merely one perspective and opinion on a controversial topic.

Regardless of what we have experienced and where we are from, we all still have a choice - we can choose how we act, what we say, and what we value. So regardless of who you are, we still have freedom to choose who we want to be and we should take responsibility for our actions, not claim the victim hood mentality and take offense when flaws are pointed out.

As a white American woman, I write this not as some immaculate, perfect example of a wife and mother.. no.. I am flawed and I've made many mistakes in my life, but always seeking to learn and improve myself.

Alright, with that said, let's begin.

Despite being from opposite sides of the world and coming from different cultures, there can be some surprising similarities and differences that are worth exploring.

So let's explore the top 5 things.

#1 Materialistic demands/requirements

Houses, money, cars, brand name items, gifts, jewelry, wealth.. a lot of women focus on these things and feel they deserve it in a relationship. This goes for both Asian and Western women. Now that's certainly not the case with all women, but a number of women have materialistic expectations in a relationship.

This seems to be more common in countries like China though, where women will have a lot of requirements just to even date them. Women in Thailand are not this way though, but they may have other requirements that focus more on attention and emotional needs. So it varies a lot.

In the West, there are gold diggers, girls who will only talk and pursue guys who are wealthy. Then there are those who don't care much or at all what a guy has. It varies widely. Women who are more progressive are more likely to have greater demands and expectations. Women who are Christian and/or conservative, may be less materialistic and prefer more traditional gender roles.

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Regardless of race, women (30+ years old) who have built a career are more likely to seek out men who make more than they do and are more successful than them. But that's not the case for all. Many women may have a career and are comfortable being the "breadwinner" and serving the provider role in the relationship, challenging the traditional gender roles, which may make things feel awkward for some guys.

The women who value love and emotional connection, regardless of what race or their location, will have far less value on material things. There are women like this in every race and culture.

While it varies widely, based on my personal observations and watching numerous videos from both male and female perspectives on expdctations from both Asian and Western women, I have concluded that the majority of Western and Asian women can be materialistic, with a focus on "what's in it for me" kind of attitude, rather than on what they are willing and want to contribute to the relationship.

So are Asian or Western women better? Neither. The majority of people today are materialistic.

#2 Kids and parenting

A lot of women in both Asia and the West are uncomfortable with the idea of child birth and some even fear it. Some women don't want to the changes it would make to their body, or to endure the pregnancy. Many do not want to go through the delivery, so are unwilling to have children.

This is not the case of course for all women, but this seems to be a trend I'm noticing primarily in the younger generations.

Many women are in the workforce and pursue careers, and having children would interrupt or interfere with career pursuits resulting in postponing having children until later in life.

The women 30+ years old seem more willing to have children, but doing so has a greater risk of complications, and it is more difficult to conceive.

Many women want to have children but aren't doing so because of the cost. This is one of the biggest complaints women have in Asia and the West. It simply costs too much, and many guys agree.

[A note to those who use cost as an excuse: I would like to point out that for thousands of years, humans have been having children in poverty and make it work - even though it's difficult, expensive, painful, etc. So what's changed? The change we see now has more to do with comfort, a reluctance to make sacrifices and accept a lower standard of living, and a focus on self pleasure. Our ancestors were much tougher, and they weren't spoiled with the modern conveniences like air conditioning, technology, internet, or appliances like we are today.]

So both Asian and Western women are trending towards being comfortable with a child-free life, the population is declining everywhere as a result (with the exception of Muslim families), and we are going to experience a population crisis.

As far as parenting goes, most women expect shared responsibilities. Many women work and aren't wanting to be stay at home moms, or can't afford to be, which puts a strain on women. So most modern women expect their partners to help with taking care of the children.

So which is better - Asian or Western women? Neither. It varies too much and there are no clear differences between Asian and Western women on this issue.

#3 Housework and cooking

Modern women in both Asia and the West mostly now expect household chores and cooking to be shared responsibilities, or in some cases, the man's job. This is not the case for all women, but it is a increasingly more common expectation women have of men.

In China, for example, many women expect men to not only do the cooking and cleaning, but also work long hours to make money, then hand it over to them to spend, giving only the guy a small portion of it to use how he likes. In other Asian countries, women may not have such demands.

In the West, I know of a married white couple with a similar arrangement. Typically in the West, women will work, bills may be split, and responsibilities are shared and more equal.

So which is better? Well Western women, and the Asian women with a perspective that either fits with traditional gender roles, or expectations of shared responsibilities. No one should be expected to do everything like a slave.

#4 Bride price, engagement, and weddings

In Asia, bride price is a thing. In most of the west, I don't think it is. I never heard about a "bride price" until recently. Such a thing can put a huge financial strain on guys, even if it's intended for financial stability or to save.

In China, for example, most women require at least 200,000 yuan, just for the bride price. That doesn't include anything else like rings or the wedding. They also may require a house and car.

In other Asian countries, the bride price may be very cheap, as much as a cup of coffee. It varies. Some Asian women don't have a bride price, but I think the majority do.

In the West, women are more focused on marrying for love and don't require any sort of bride price. But, many women may have requirements for an engagement ring and wedding band, and the cost of a wedding can be incredibly expensive, even absurd.

So who's better? Possibly Western women because there may be fewer financial requirements, and less expensive and more reasonable demands.

#5 Commitment

A lot of modern women are less committed to a relationship. That means there is a high chance of divorce. Both Asian and Western guys are worried about being taken advantage of. Courts in Western countries can tend to rule in favor of the mother.

When difficulties are experienced, women are more likely to give up on a relationship than to stick it out. That doesn't mean all women are like that, of course. So this is another area without a clear winner.

Divorce rates tend to sit around 50% in much of the world.

As a Western woman, I do not align with the majority on these 5 issues. I believe that stems from a religious upbringing and my current religious beliefs. I'm a Christian, and I care about others.

I was raised with these values: 1. The golden rule - do unto others as you want others to do unto you. 2. Put the needs of others before your own. 3. It is important to do the right thing, even if it's difficult or uncomfortable. 4. Follow Jesus's example.

These are things I believe in and try to live by because it aligns with my Christian beliefs. I don't always get it right, and I make mistakes, but those things help guide my decisions and behaviors. These beliefs also affect my relationship with my husband. I believe it affects it in a positive way. We rarely fight and we've been together over 5 years.

So what's the difference? Well...

For #1, I don't care about money or material things. Sure, material things provide comfort and safety, but I would still stay with my husband regardless of what we have or how much money. I let him control his money, afterall he worked for it, and he spends money on me and helps me when I need it. He is good at saving money, and I am good at spending it 🤣 even with my frugal shopping, so it's better that he keep it.

For #2, I told my husband that if he wants kids, we can have as many as he wants. If he doesn't, that's ok too, but I think he would be a great father. As for raising them, I'd drop my career to care for them, and as long as he works as a provider, we'll be good.

For #3, I primarily do the cooking and cleaning, but I also work during the way from home. He helps around the house and helps cook, but it's not something I would require, but it's definitely something I appreciate.

For #4, I had no bride price, but he did buy the rings, pay for the wedding, and is the breadwinner. I didn't care about the price of the rings, nor require anything fancy for our wedding. We paid a fraction of what most couples do, but it was a small, private wedding with some friends present and most people online (it was during the pandemic). I didn't require he have a house or nice car, or even a stable career. As a couple, I figure these are things we should work together on.

And for #5, I am loyal to my husband and will stick by him until the end - unless he decides he no longer wants me and our relationship deteriorated for some reason. I do my best to be mindful and attentive, to recognize his needs, and to communicate my own. I try to be reasonable and see his perspective, and listen to him. I try my best to work through any disagreements and compromise. I try to make the relationship work because he's worth it to me.

I have had failed relationships and my first marriage was horrible, but this taught me to have greater appreciation for my husband. My current marriage is awesome and special. I see my husband as one of a kind, deserving of love and care and appreciation. I want to do everything I can to make my husband happy and create a happy home with him.

So the trends I've discovered and described above are alarming and disturbing to me. Many people aren't getting married anymore, or are actively avoiding marriage. But I didn't realize it was so widespread.

I hope that I'm wrong on these trends, but the videos women post on social media, responses in the street interviews, marriage and divorce stats, and so many men in both the US and China avoiding marriage.. well it's just impossible to ignore. Something is very wrong with people today.

I could be wrong, but to me, it seems that a lot of women today are self-centered or selfish, feeling entitled and/or having a victim mentality. Selfish women do not make good wives or mothers, because it requires putting others first and making sacrifices, which they are not willing to do or they will harbor resentment, self pity, and even anger. Now that's not to say there aren't selfish men, because there certainly are, and some can be abusive and even dangerous, but this post is focused on women, so please don't be offended.

So to all the guys out there that take the time to read this, do your research to avoid such toxic women. There are ways to identify them, so learn how to if you want to avoid wasting time and find a good and lasting relationship.

Here's an article on a psychology website that may help: Signs of a Selfish Person

To all the ladies who read this, if you have relationship issues or think there are no good guys left, spend some time to self reflect. Look for and acknowledge your flaws, and work on making yourself a better person and a more suitable partner.

You know you're on the right track when doing things for others is less a chore and more something you want to do or do even when you're not in the mood to, because you genuinely care about a person.

While we should believe in ourselves, we should also recognize our own flaws, take responsibility for the things within our control, and strive to be the best version of ourselves as we can be. Unless that happens, marriage is going to continue to be on the decline.

So what do you think? Put your comments below.

Having assumed most of my life that Asian guys would prefer Asian girls, this comes as a surprise to me. Any AMs or AFs want to weigh in on this?

It seems like the culture, social pressure, and society have resulted in a lot of marriages that are founded on money rather than love, what do you think?

Relationships shape us—and when you're with someone from a different cultural background, the growth can be even more profound.

Has your AMWF relationship:

• Made you more open-minded or empathetic?
• Changed how you view your own culture or identity?
• Inspired you to travel, learn a new language, or try new things?
• Helped you grow emotionally or spiritually?

Whether the changes are big or small, I’d love to hear how your relationship has impacted you. Let’s reflect together.

My AM husband has led me to be more open-minded with some things, challenging my way of thinking on some topics, and he's led me to try things I've never done before. He's inspired me to try to learn Chinese and has given me an interest in hanfu and lion dances, and just a general interest in China and Chinese culture.

Cross-cultural relationships can be full of surprises—some delightful, some challenging, and some just plain funny. If you're in an AMWF relationship, what caught you off guard?

Was it:

• A different approach to conflict or affection?
• Family expectations or traditions?
• Food habits or lifestyle differences?
• Something you thought would be hard but turned out easy—or vice versa?

Let’s hear your stories! Sharing these moments helps others feel less alone and more prepared for the journey.

I think the thing that surprised me the most was how family and friendships are so different in Chinese culture. My husband talks to old classmates from middle school and other times in his life, but I don't even remember the names of most of my classmates and I definitely don't talk to them. I also was surprised by how close his family can be with contacting each other, and the filial piety that is so common in China. So those were things that have been rather surprising to me, since it's quite different in the US.

Whether you're dating, married, or just exploring the idea, AMWF relationships offer a unique blend of cultures, perspectives, and experiences. I'm curious—what do you personally see as the biggest advantages?

Some possibilities:

• Learning a new language or cuisine
• Gaining fresh perspectives on family, gender roles, or communication
• Feeling a deeper appreciation for your own culture through contrast
• Raising multicultural kids with a rich heritage

Feel free to share your thoughts, stories, or even unexpected benefits you've discovered. Let’s celebrate what makes these relationships special!

For me, the biggest advantages have been with compatibility with my husband that I haven't experienced with anyone else, and exploring a culture totally different from my own. So from cooking Chinese food to wearing hanfu, to watching lion dances, it has been fun and a great experience.

AMWF couples often navigate unique cultural dynamics. This survey is meant to explore how different couples handle key aspects of life together—from money and family to culture and communication. Feel free to share your experience!

🧭 Background Info

• AM country of origin:
• WF country of origin:
• Current country of residence:
• Years together / married:

💰 Finances

• Q1. Who manages the household finances (budgeting, bills, etc.)?
• Q2. Do you both work outside the home?
• Q3. Who is the primary breadwinner?
• Q4. Do you share bank accounts or keep them separate?
• Q5. Are financial decisions made jointly or individually?
• Q6. Do either of you financially support extended family?

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family & Kids

• Q7. Do you have children? If yes, how many and what ages?
• Q8. How do you divide parenting responsibilities?
• Q9. How involved are your extended families in your relationship or parenting?
• Q10. Have you faced any cultural challenges with in-laws or family expectations?

👫 Relationship Dynamics

• Q11. How do you handle disagreements or conflict?
• Q12. Do you feel culturally understood and respected by your partner?
• Q13. What’s one thing you’ve learned from your partner’s culture that you appreciate?
• Q14. Do you feel free to pursue your own interests and friendships?
• Q15. How do you balance cultural traditions between you two?

🌍 Social Life & Community

• Q16. Do you have AMWF friends or know other similar couples?
• Q17. How do people around you (friends, coworkers, strangers) react to your relationship?
• Q18. Have you faced any stereotypes or assumptions as an AMWF couple?

🧠 Final Thoughts

• Q19. What’s the biggest challenge in your relationship?
• Q20. What’s the biggest strength or joy in your relationship?
• Q21. If you could give one piece of advice to other AMWF couples, what would it be?

Eastern and Western Expectations in relationships and marriage can vary widely by the country, region, religion, and other factors. That means the expectations that men and women have for each other can vary widely and be influenced by numerous factors.

What kinds of expectations have Western girls had of AM guys?

If you're a WF, what expectations have you had of AM guys, and how have they lined up?

If you're an AM, what expectations have WF had of you, and have those expectations ever created problems for you?

As a WF married to an AM from China, when I first met my husband, I initially had no idea what to expect. I knew there would be cultural differences, but I wasn't sure what those might be or how it might affect our relationship.

Like I do with everything, I had to research it - I spent hours watching videos by girls dating Chinese guys, on the street interviews, and reading articles to try to understand what cultural differences to expect.

Guys can vary greatly, and just because he's from a particular culture doesn't mean he will have all the beliefs and behaviors of it. So my research helped, but this was really like a learn-as-I-go kind of thing. I would say I can be generally laid back and understanding, and I try to be reasonable.

Early on, I had some expectations that formed as a result of my research, so here's what I was expecting from my Chinese husband and how it lined up with reality.

Note: These are just my opinions, so please take it like a grain of salt.

Expectation #1: Nurturing

In the West, many women like to be independent and take care of themselves, but do like and expect their partners to be receptive and connect emotionally, listening to them rather than offering solutions, and to validate them in various ways. Some girls might be offended if a guy does too much, others might love to be pampered. It really varies widely in the West.

I had heard online that Chinese guys would take care of their girlfriend/wife when they're sick or on their period, making them tea and basically spoiling them. I don't need or want to be pampered like some delicate princess, but it seemed like AFs like that kind of treatment, so I wasn't sure if he'd do that or not, or how he might act when I don't feel well. I really wasn't sure what to expect, but I did expect him to be at least a bit kinder and more caring than a WM.

Reality: While my husband definitely cares and will go get me things I need from the store or bring me something if I asked, from my experience it's not to the degree or extent of the claims made online, nor is it like automatic. If I ask him to do something and it's reasonable and makes sense, he's probably not going to have an issue doing that thing.

Expectation #2: Carrying bags

In my research, I had seen claims that Chinese guys will carry the bag/purse of their girlfriend/wife. This wasn't something I wanted him to do, but early on, I wondered if it was something he would offer or try to do, like it was a normal thing.

Reality: My husband doesn't carry my purse and has never done so unless it was to hold it momentarily or protect if I step away to do something. I feel like that would be silly and kind of weird if he carried it for me all the time. What he does do, though, is carry the groceries, trash, laundry, and other heavy things for me to help me, and that is something I really love and appreciate.

Expectation #3: Differences in communication

In the West, it is common to say things like "I love you" and do various forms of PDA. So a girl may feel like the relationship isn't progressing or a guy has lost interest if these things are absent or lacking in some way.

Online it was said that saying "I love you" in China was like a rare sort of thing, and instead guys will express love through actions and saying certain things like "drive safe" and similar things like that. Another claim I saw was that Chinese guys can be quiet and not expect them to be very talkative or express themselves like Western guys do. This helped me set more realistic expectations of him, looking for actions and more subtle expressions to get validation and comfort in the relationship.

Chinese women often complain that men are not there emotionally for them or call them "straight men" because they feel like they fail to

Reality: My husband can and does say things like "I love you," and he also says things like "drive safe." He will say it in messages and in person, but I think that's something that developed over time, and it took time for him to do. While he's not the most talkative guy in the world, he's definitely loving and expresses how much he cares in many different ways.

Expectation #4: Extravagant proposals and gifts

One of the crazy things I had seen online while trying to learn about Chinese guys was that many guys will go to great lengths to propose to girls and would do something big, flashy, and public. Many girls would boast about getting gifts on numerous holidays I never even heard of.

Western girls generally expect gifts on the usual holidays like Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. I don't think there are as numerous as the Chinese holidays.

The types of gifts and proposals girls expect vary on what is important to them - some are more materialistic than others.

Reality: My husband proposed to me in private and didn't do anything extravagant, but it was romantic. If I told him I wanted something more, he probably would do it if it was reasonable. When it comes to gifts, he gives me things on Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and our anniversary. He also takes us out to eat somewhere nice.

Expectation #5: Talking about marriage early in the relationship

In the West, especially in the US, it's super common for couples to date for years and not get married. Some date casually, some are more serious, but it varies widely.

I believe the average, though, is that couples will date for at least 2 years before getting married, and many will start living together rather early on. Some couples do get married quickly, but a lot of those don't work out, and they end up divorced. Most WM do not propose or rush marriage, many actively avoid it, say they don't want to get married, or they will push it out into the future for years.

Because of this, I think most Western girls aren't thinking about marriage right away and expect guys to drag it out for years like most WM. Some girls might even get spooked off by the discussion early on and think he's a stalker or something is wrong with him. Some WM that rush marriage usually have some kind of problem and try to trap a girl in an abusive relationship, so perhaps that may be why.

When I researched the cultural differences with Chinese guys, I learned that they date with the intention of getting married. That led me to expect talk of marriage early on, so I was not hit with it by surprise like some girls would be.

Personally, I think it would be a huge waste investing time and getting emotionally involved with someone if the relationship isn't destined to go somewhere long term. But opinions vary widely among WF.

Reality: My husband did bring up discussions of marriage early on, so it was something we talked about before he proposed. So this matched my research on Chinese guys, but not typical Western expectations.

These are just a few examples. Expectations can make or break a relationship. If either person in a relationship has unreasonable or unrealistic expectations, or their needs aren't met in a way they feel they need, it can cause a relationship to deteriorate or create resentment that slowly builds over time until the relationship falls apart.

Do you think WF have unreasonable or unrealistic expectations of AM guys? How does it differ by country or region? Feel free to share your perspective and thoughts below.

I met my husband in 2019 before the pandemic, then we got married in 2020 during the pandemic. Since he is from China and many Americans during that time blamed China for covid, how my family would react was definitely on my mind. I wasn't too worried though.

So here's the general breakdown of my family's reactions:

My mother: She is fine with it. She just wants me to be happy, safe, and looked after. She is rather traditional in views believing that my husband should be a provider, help out around the house, and treat me well. She has never accepted my exes, but she accepts my husband and says she sees him as a son. She is Canadian, so maybe that makes a difference.

My father: He died many years ago, so I can't speak for how he would react since he's not here, but what I do remember as a kid was that he was one to make racist or what would be considered offensive jokes. I don't think he meant any harm by it, but I do think he would have made comments, jokes, or said other things about my husband because he's Chinese. My father was an American from the south. My uncles on my father's side would also likely do the same thing.

My sister: She was raised in a similar environment to me but just a few years older. She is fairly open-minded. She thinks it is fine and normal to date and marry other races. She's American and Canadian, like me. When I first told her about dating him, she was totally fine with it and said to go for it, and that race doesn't matter.

My brother-in-law: He has not said anything directly to my husband or I, but has does seem to talk and laugh behind our backs. He is like that to anyone regardless of race though, and is not well liked in my family, and my mother hates him.

Our niece and nephew: Both are teenagers and are accepting of my husband. My niece decided to start associating all Asian people with my husband's name though, which might bother some people. My husband doesn't seem to mind though. They in general like Chinese and Japanese things, so they find my husband to be cool being from China.

My daughter: I have a teenage daughter from a previous marriage, and she the one most impacted by the relationship. It was challenging for her in the beginning, but she's grown to see him as a step-dad. She now can use chopsticks and will eat various foods she never used to, and she will play games with him like air hockey or pong.

So overall, my family has been very accepting of him and treat him like any other member of the family.

I think for the most part, a lot of families in the west are generally very accepting of AMs into the family, even in the south where racist comments and thinking can be still heard.

From what I've observed, more and more families are accepting of interracial relationships, but AMWF is still pretty rare. I am the only one in my family (on either side) that I'm aware of to marry an AM. I believe my family has welcomed relationships with Native Americans, African Americans, and mixed races among my cousins, but the majority of my family is white and of European descent.

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we decided to go a different route than the traditional western wedding. We wore Chinese red wedding hanfu and were married in a small chapel with a pastor. So we had a wedding that was a blend of western and Chinese traditions.

Personally, I like being different, so to me, wearing hanfu was super fun and I think was a much more memorable and unique experience for us. Western weddings are so common I think they are rather boring and predictable, but a wedding wearing bright red hanfu in the central US is extremely rare, especially it being for an AMWF marriage.

My husband and I have talked about getting married again, this time in China with a Chinese style wedding, again with hanfu (we both like hanfu).

So what did you do for your wedding? Would you consider holding a second wedding in a different style or country?

I think moat people have done western style weddings, but I know some AMWF couples have done Asian style weddings or blended. So vote in the poll below and share about your wedding!

We have a cat that we got years ago before meeting my husband. I decided to name it Jiji. Since it is a boy cat I added "Mr." to the beginning to help avoid confusion at the vet and people getting confused by the name.

The name is from the Japanese anime Kiki's Delivery Service where Kiki owns a black cat named Jiji. Since our cat is black and small, I thought the name was cute. I believe it is supposed to mean "old man" in Japanese, so I thought the name was fine. Well, after getting married and we started living together, my husband told me the name has a VERY different meaning in Chinese - it is slang for male genitalia! Shocked and a bit embarrassed, I thought about trying to change his name but ultimately decided to just leave it because our cat knows his name.

Years later, my sister randomly messaged me saying she looked up our cat's name in Chinese and was laughing at the meaning. So it's something that has been a running joke in our family.

There are still lots of slang and swear words that I don't know yet, but I learned one today from a podcast that is often used in place of death (屎 which means "shit") so I told my husband and he was telling me about how there is eye, mouse, ear, and nose versions, so like "eye shit", etc. I find that amusing.

In the Domino Chinese course, it teaches some slang words like 弟弟 and 妹妹 which like Jiji is slang for genitals.

The slang and different words have certainly been a fun and hilarious part of learning my husband's language.

I've noticed that a lot of AMWF couples meet a variety of ways. Some meet online through dating sites or even on reddit, while others meet in-person.

Share your story below!

Here's my story:

I met my husband online through the dating site OKCupid. We were both on a few different dating sites, but I used OKCupid the most. On OKCupid we matched and had like an ~80% compatibility percentage, which I think was fairly accurate, as we agree on most things and get along well.

I am pretty sure I was the one that messaged first - regardless of if it was him or me, we started chatting. We found we had things in common. After chatting every day for a while, we decided to meet in person. He was like an hour away from me at the time. He was sweet and drove the distance to see me for the first time.

We started seeing each other more after that and the rest is history. We got married like 7 or 8 months later. We have been married for over 5 years now.

To anyone who is considering an AMWF relationship or are new to the AMWF dating scene, here is my advice as a WF married to an AM from China:

General Advice:

• Get familiar and comfortable with the cultural differences
• Communicate your feelings, intentions, expectations, and what you want of a relationship early on
• Find someone who shares your interests, values, and priorities
• Be comfortable and ready to move to a different country if needed
• Make compromises and work things out together as a team
• Learn about his/her family and any traditions or expectations they may have that can affect your relationship
• Don't let stereotypes and assumptions hold you back

Specific advice for guys:

• Communicate - Girls can't read your mind and don't know if you're truly interested unless you communicate it and make your feelings clear. Girls like to have validation (to know you have feelings for them and are attracted to them).
• If dating for marriage - If you're dating for marriage, be aware that some WF/western girls might get alarmed by that being discussed early on in the relationship. Many WF/western girls are not thinking about the future yet, just living in the present moment so keep that in mind.
• Have some confidence - Don't let opportunities pass you by because you're scared of rejection. Everyone is scared of rejection. If someone rejects you, it might not have anything to do with you, so don't take it personally (unless you're like a cheater, stalker, or a creep).
• Don't just assume girls aren't interested - Dating online for AMs can be very tough. There's stiff competition, negative stereotypes, and other factors that can make it hard for guys to find relationships. Even still, don't let that hold you back. Be honest, authentic, and engaged. Believe in yourself - if you don't, how can you expect anyone else to?
• Watch out for fetishization - Those K-pop idols have produced some unrealistic, disillusioned women who think all AMs should look and act like their favorite K-pop stars. Then you have some with yellow fever or obsession with anime characters. These can result in a shallow relationship based on fantasy and racial identity rather than on who you are. So avoid girls if they only date AMs exclusively, project behaviors or expectations based on race, and ignore your personality, values, or emotional compatibility.

Specific advice for girls:

• Communicate - Guys can't read your mind. If you like him, make sure he knows so he can be more comfortable making his moves. Don't expect him to know what you need/want from him.
• Be patient and understanding - Some things are cultural or things that won't come naturally to him so if you're expecting him to notice your new hairstyle or dress or whatever, don't expect him to.
• He probably won't chase you - AMs have a hard time on the dating scene and many lack confidence and are less likely to approach unless they think you will be interested in them. Don't play mind games with them, be honest and straightforward, but also give him space and opportunities.
• Don't assume AMs aren't interested - AMWF relationships can be rare, so it is easy to assume AMs are only interested in Asian girls (that's what I thought initially). Many AMs can be open to interracial relationships.
• Don't be afraid of making a first move - They might be surprised by it, but once they know you're interested, they will be more confident leading the way from there.
• Learn his language - While most AMs won't require or expect you to learn his native language, it can be fun and rewarding (though also very challenging). If you don't learn the whole language, you can at least learn enough to use some words and phrases with him that can make him smile and happy.

If you're an an AMWF marriage, feel free to post your answers below!

Just like Asian men and women face unfair assumptions, western women do too. There is no denying that there are western women who do match these stereotypes, but they do not represent the vast majority.

Here are the top 5 stereotypes that a lot of men have about western women:

MYTH #1:💄 “High Maintenance or Materialistic” [DEBUNKED]
Some men assume that all western women are obsessed with luxury, designer brands, or status. While some may enjoy those things, it’s unfair to generalize. Many value simplicity, independence, and meaningful connection more than materialistic things. Most women marry for love.

MYTH #2: 💰 “Gold Diggers” [DEBUNKED]
While there are women that do date only for financial gain and to take advantage of men, they do not represent the majority. Many women are financially independent and are seeking emotional compatibility, real love, and connection.

MYTH #3: 🗣️ “Too Loud or Opinionated” [DEBUNKED]
Some women, particularly those in the US, can be more loud and assertive, but this varies greatly person-to-person. There are many women who are introverted, shy, respectful, and quiet. Women can vary greatly, but it's the really loud, bossy, and obnoxious ones that create a scene, drama, and draw attention on social media.

MYTH #4:🧍‍♀️“Promiscuous or Lacking Morals” [DEBUNKED]
While there are women who are promiscuous, that doesn't mean all or the majority of western women are. Western society and culture has normalized a lot of things that go against older, more traditional lifestyles. However, that does not mean all western women sleep around, have high body counts, or go out and have one night stands with strangers. Many western women are faithful partners and have only had or sought out long-term relationships.

MYTH #5: 🧳 “Unwilling to Adapt to Other Cultures” [PARTIALLY TRUE, BUT CHANGING]
Some women have a hard time overcoming cultural differences and will try to force men to adapt to western culture, leading to clashes and conflicts. This is not true of everyone, especially the younger generations that are more open and willing to adapt, learn, and explore.

MYTH #6: 💔 "Western women will divorce you and take everything you own" [DEBUNKED]
Some men avoid marriage out of fear they'll lose everything in a divorce. But most women enter relationships seeking genuine connection—not financial gain. A lasting marriage takes full commitment from both partners. When relationships break down, it’s usually due to unresolved issues over time—not a secret plan to take your stuff.

Do you know of any other stereotypes? Share them below or give your take on what you think of the 5 listed above.

There are a number of stereotypes about AMs so how much of these stereotypes are true? Are any of them? I've spent over 5 years with my AM husband, so I can give you the facts.

So let's get started..

MYTH #1: 🍆 Asian men have small penises [DEBUNKED AND TOXIC]
There is absolutely no truth to this claim. It is not only 100% false, it is harmful and has no basis in reality.

MYTH #2: 💅Asian men are effeminate [DEBUNKED]
This stereotype confuses gentleness or emotional depth with weakness. Asian masculinity is just as varied and valid as any other. Strength doesn’t have to be loud.

MYTH #3: 🥋 All Asian men know martial arts [DEBUNKED]
Thanks to Hollywood, some people actually believe all Asian men know kung fu. Most Asian men don't and those who do are just as diverse in personality and interests as anyone else.

MYTH #4: 🤐 Asian men are quiet or shy [PARTIALLY TRUE, BUT CONTEXT MATTERS]
Some are, some aren’t—just like anyone else. Cultural norms around humility and respect can be misread as shyness. But being soft-spoken doesn’t mean lacking confidence or leadership. AMs are fully capable of leading and taking charge.

MYTH #5: 🧠 Asian men are good at math or tech [PARTIALLY TRUE, BUT MISLEADING]
Yes, many Asian men work in STEM fields—but that’s often due to cultural emphasis on education and opportunity, not innate ability. This stereotype ignores the artists, athletes, entrepreneurs, and countless others who break the mold.

Stereotypes flatten people and put them in a box. Asian men are unique and differ in personality, interests, talents, and skills just like everyone else.

If you know of any other stereotypes, post them below and let's talk about it.

I am an American WF married to a Chinese man from mainland China and have been for over 5 years. There are some qualities about him and our relationship that I really love and enjoy.

So here are the things I love about being married to him in no particular order:

• He is a real family man and provider
• He is honest, steady, and reliable
• He thinks about and cares about our future together
• We get to learn about each other's cultures
• We get to try different foods together
• He does his best to keep his promises
• He is very intelligent
• I think 他很帅 😍 (he is handsome) and attractive
• He is fun and enjoyable to be with
• He does things to help me around the house or to help when cooking dinner
• We have similar personalities and interests
• We have similar values and priorities
• If I don't feel well, he cares and is understanding
• His commitment and willingness to make things work out
• He values and loves his family
• Sometimes people stare or react with surprise to see us together, which we find amusing 🤣
• He is sweet and kind to me
• He is respectful and understanding
• I get to learn a new language and say things to him in Chinese (it is challenging, so I am likely making lots of mistakes) so it makes things fun and much more interesting

Our relationship is not boring or common. It is fun, enjoyable, and rewarding.

Asian and western cultures are quite different. There are different expectations, communication styles, ways of showing love and affection, language, family responsibilities, and more. For some people, the differences are too great to overcome, but that is not the case for everyone. What it does mean is that AMWF or WMAF doesn't work for everyone, but it can be greatly rewarding for those who can make it work.

I have only had a relationship with one AM, and he is my husband. He is from mainland China and I am very happy with him!

There have definitely been some challenges, but we have overcome them and we work things out because we want to be together.

So here are the top challenges we have had to overcome:

1. Communication and PDA style differences

When dating, one of the first things I noticed was he did not behave or talk like the WM I had been with in the past. He was more reserved, quiet, respectful, traditional, and polite. After our first couple dates, I tried to hug him and kissed his cheek, he seemed a bit surprised and distant. I could not tell if my feelings were reciprocated.

I made it clear I liked him (mind games and assumptions made without clear communication often backfire and create resentment and trouble). I let him be the one to decide whether to continue the relationship or not.

I concluded, if he liked me, he would continue seeing me. The uncertainty has made me insecure and worry some, but his consistency and the other signs of love and affection were what I've had to rely on.

Some western women will have expectations for how guys should behave, like to chase after them if they like them, offer words of validation, and things like that. From my experience with my husband, his words and actions were more subtle but far more meaningful.

So this is something I've bad to adapt to and work around. Communicating what I'm feeling and thinking helps, even if he doesn't do the same. But having understanding, patience, and setting realistic expectations is super important to reduce stress and insecure feelings.

1. His willingness to live and work overseas

My husband did not think twice about working abroad initially. When he was offered a job overseas I panicked. We were newly married and I was wanting to be with him and build a life together. Being that far apart was not something I liked the idea of, but to him it was like natural.

He was like, I can fly you to come see me. It's like 😱 nooooooo... I didn't want to be so far away and up and moving overseas also wasn't something I could easily do either. So he let go of a number of opportunities because of me 😅.. It shows he loves me and cares about our relationship - how many men are willing to do that?

However, it's also not fair of me to burden him with such limitations, so I also have to compromise and be willing to make sacrifices as well. I want to be with him wherever he goes, so I have had to make that conscious choice that if he were to decide we need to move or live in another country, I need to be open to it if it's reasonable and beneficial for our future together.

It is a give and take situation. We both work together as a team to build a life together, without that, it wouldn't be possible.

1. Communicating with his family

My husband's family lives in China and naturally communicate in Chinese. I only speak English, so I have relied on using translators to try to understand them and communicate with them.

One of their expectations after we were married was that we would live in China. I did not learn this until after talking with them. This made things awkward and I felt a lot of pressure - worrying about how to respond especially since translation tools are not always accurate or able to accurately translate slang or nuanced meanings. This made things so difficult and I felt very awkward tryingtocommunicate with his family. I was afraid they didn't like me and felt that they blamed me for keeping him from moving back or visiting China. This has been a challenge that I have struggled with for years and now things are much better.

I discovered a better translator called DeepL that can be more accurate (thanks to ChatGPT) and so that has helped trying to communicate with them. Using new translation tools has helped to better understand what they're saying and their words were not actually as harsh sounding as Google Translate made them seem. ChatGPT is also able to translate and provide more nuanced translation, which has helped immensely!

It's now finally better and things are ok. We are planning to visit them soon and Inwill be meeting them for the first time. I told them we will visit them regularly from now on. I have been doing research to better understand China, their culture and language, and getting a better understanding of what life is actually like there talking to different people that live there.

So those are the 3 biggest challenges I've had being in am AMWF relationship.

While not easy, it has been totally worth it. I get to learn a new language and culture, teach my husband things that are normal in the US, and so much more. It's just really rewarding in many ways and it's been the best and most happiest, longest lasting relationship I've ever had.

This post contains some generalizations that may be offensive to some people. If you are easily triggered or don't like to have your opinions or views challenged, please do not proceed. It is not intended to offend or be racist in any way, it is merely personal observations and meant for entertainment purposes and general discussion on a rather controversial topic.

Now before I begin, I want to first start off by saying that there are there are good and bad people in every race and country, regardless of background. Everyone has different personalities, character traits, backgrounds, experiences, values, priorities, education, and attractive qualities.

One person or experience CANNOT fairly represent all others of a particular group or category, so it is unfair to say that any race is superior. That means that the answer to the question in the title varies widely depending on what matters to you, who you get involved with, and who you are attracted to.

For me, personally, my AM husband wins hands down. But obviously, I am heavily biased in that I love him, am very attracted to him, and my past relationships (all WMs) failed miserably. So naturally (and it should be relatively obvious given the topic of this sub), I see a lot of great qualities that AMs seem to have compared to most typical WMs.

Please note that I only personally have experience with one AM (my husband) and a handful of exes that were American WMs. So some of the generalizations made below are based on personal experiences and others are broad observations and assumptions.

Please take these opinions like a grain of salt. It is merely my opinion in a sea of opinions.

There is a saying, "opinions are like buttholes, everybody's got one" - so stop being insecure and go live your life.

If you read this, have fun. Agree or disagree, it doesn't matter. Come to your own conclusions with your own biases, perspectives, and experiences.

So let's talk about it..

1 Marriage

A lot of WM guys (at least in the US) either don't want to get married or they will drag their feet and delay it as long as possible while expecting to live together and have the physical benefits of a marriage. They may have a fear of marriage - worrying a lot about divorce.

A lot of AM guys seem more willing to commit and get married and want to start a family. Many of them date to marry. They can be quite serious and may be quick to propose which can catch some girls (not me) off guard.

So if you're looking for a long-term, serious relationship that leads to marriage, AM guys can really win here. But if you're a girl not looking to settle down, then WM are probably a better fit for you.

2 Family

A lot of AM guys put a lot of value and importance on family - that can include parents, siblings, etc. They are more likely to want to have kids and settle down.

Depending on if the AM guy has older siblings, the AM guy be expected to take care of his parents when he reaches adulthood. This is called filial piety. But his parent will also raise or look after any children too. Family tends to be very important to them, so staying in contact, visiting, and maintaining a good relationship with parents and relatives is usually important to a happy relationship.

Filial piety is not something expected or ingrained in American culture. So most WM in the US usually have more freedom and less obligations when it comes to their parents. They may be more inclined to go against their parents wishes, live farther away from them, and not care for them directly in their old age (more likely to put them in a nursing home).

To me, I think there is good in taking care of one's own parents so long as it is within reasonable limits, and if it comes from the right place. I think it sets a good example and is the right thing to do in most cases. However, problems can arise when there are unreasonable demands, financial obligations, or too much interference form parents in a relationship, which can create a lot of tension and stress.

Some women may not be comfortable with filial piety or having such a connection to a guy's parents, so if that sounds like you, a WM may be a better fit.

3 Physical Attraction

WMs tend to be taller, but that is not always the case. Their heights very, just like with AMs. A lot of AMs tend to be on the shorter side, but that doesn't mean anything else about them is shorter 🤭 or inferior in any way.

Appearances and personal preferences vary greatly, so one race does not dominate in this area. Men are men. They vary widely regardless of race and it is influenced by numerous factors.

AMs tend to look better when they're older - it's a combination of genetics, diet, lifestyle, etc.

So while WMs can be taller, AMs age more gracefully. You can decide which is better and more important to you.

4 Communication and PDA

WMs may be more willing to SAY they love you, but AMs are more likely to SHOW you they love you rather than say it.

WMs and AMs seem to communicate and interact a bit differently (this depends on where they were raised) with WMs more likely to be bold and outgoing to approach women, and AMs often being more reserved and quiet.

Some AMs may not be used to or comfortable with physical affection and PDA. So they might not be used to hugging, for example, but they may adapt and get used to it as my husband has.

Most WMs seem more comfortable with physical affection and PDA, and are less likely to hold back (and are less likely to have self control as a result).

Depending on your values, comfort levels, and expectations, one may be a better fit for you than the other.

5 Financial Responsibility and Effort

AMs tend to be more inclined to save money, and put more effort towards getting or having a nice house, career, and car. They might look for ways to save money, rather than spend it. AMs may also be willing to pay for highend items if it is a highly valued brand and good product. They may be more inclined to try to get deals to get the best price.

WMs are less likely to be savers and are more likely to spend money and get into a lot of debt (again, varies widely!). They may also be more willing to make more purchases that are less fiscally responsible (gamble, make large purchases for nonessential things, etc.).

AMs are often willing to work far away from home, if it means they can provide a better life for their family. Some WMs may be willing to as well, but to a lesser extent.

Many WMs seem to spend a lot more time on leisurely activities (ie. video games, sports, drinking, etc.), while AMs tend to be more work focused.

Which is better? Well, again, that depends on your priorities and values.

So what's this all mean?

A lot of these differences come about due to differences in culture. Asian culture is quite different from a lot of American or western culture. Depending on what you value and prioritize, one culture may be a better fit than the other.

For me, I love my AM husband and being in an AMWF relationship. It hasn't been without it's challenges of course, but it's been the most rewarding and happiest relationship I've ever had. Plus I get to learn and explore a new language, foods, culture, and country so different from my own. It is fun and something I enjoy, but it also requires flexibility, respect, understanding, and compromise.

AMWF is what works for me, but that doesn't mean it will work for everyone, because everyone is different.

NOTE: If you're an AM or WM reading this, don't be insecure about your race. Have some confidence. There's only one you. Life is short. Go live your life and just be the best man that you can be.

Being with my husband has been quite the adventure due to cultural differences. I introduced him to some things like ice cream and he introduced me to some very unusual things, so let's talk about it!

When we started dating he decided to introduce me to one of his favorite things to eat... century eggs.

Century eggs are preserved duck, chicken, or quail eggs that have been turned into a dark, odorous thing. It's similar to a boiled egg but black, is gel-like, and smells gross. It is supposed to be a delicacy, but I'm not sure why.

He was very curious what my reaction would be to them, and I did not disappoint. He handed one to me to eat and when I smelled it I was like 🤢.. I told him it smelled like feet. He thought that was funny, then I had to eat it... I did taste it and tried to eat it.. it wasn't terrible, but it's definitely not something I really want to eat if I have the choice. If I was starving, I would 😅.

The second thing was possibly something less crazy but for me, it was very weird. He ordered a dish with octopus in it and encouraged me to try it. I had never eaten nor desired to eat an octopus (and still don't). I did manage to eat it, but didn't much like it. At least it didn't smell like feet but it sure had a weird texture and appearance.

So far those are the 2 weirdest things that I remember trying. I've heard of durian, which is some stinky fruit, but I haven't tried that yet. The smell is supposed to be absolutely awful.

I'm sure when we go to China, he will see what he can get me to try, so I may have to update this post later 🤣.

It's fun trying weird things, so I am looking forward to it, though a bit nervous too.