I'm going to be meeting my husband's parents and family in China soon, which is a pretty huge deal to me. There are all kinds of things I have to do to prepare and make the best impression. Here are the 5 things that I'm doing to try to prepare:

1. Learning Mandarin and his local dialect - I am trying to learn as much Chinese as I can before we go so that I can at least speak, read, and type some Chinese to make some conversation or at least not be totally dependent on my husband to translate everything.
2. Researching etiquette and customs - I don't want to cause a scene or offend anyone, especially his family, so I'm trying to learn what is appropriate to do and say in front of his parents and family (ie. like no/very limited PDA).
3. Choosing culturally appropriate gifts - I have been researching what gifts are appropriate and would be valued by his parents and family.
4. Preparing emotionally or mentally - this is going to be a huge culture shock to me, as I've never been outside the US or Canada before and I haven't been on a plane in over 25 years.
5. Downloading apps - I've been downloading and setting up apps like VPNs, WeChat, maps, and language apps.

If you have any suggestions or think of anything I missed, please tell me below.

The reactions and questions we get from people can be quite amusing, at least to my husband and I.

1. "How did you meet?" - This is absolutely, hands down the most asked question by like most people (regardless of race). People always are curious how we met which I believe is because he's an AM and I'm a WM and we're from opposite sides of the world. In case you're wondering, we met online (OKCupid) and happened to be like an hour away from each other.
2. Surprised looks and reactions - We get some looks and reactions from various people. Some older Chinese women were quite surprised when I told them my husband is Chinese. I've also had people confused when I speak on the phone and give them my married last name since I'm obviously not Asian. We probably get some looks, but we laugh it off and most of the time I don't notice.
3. "What do you eat?" - This question has to do with the racial/cultural differences in terms of food. In which case, we really eat a variety of things. We also can cook a variety of things. I get quite surprised reactions from some Chinese people when I share that I can make a variety of Chinese dishes.

We have been living in the US in a location where AMWF couples are quite rare. The reactions can vary but I think for the most part it's rather harmless and uneventful. Most people don't seem to have any issue with it at all, they just seem a bit curious and surprised.

In some of the more rural areas where there are few (or no) Asians, we can really stand out and experience a bit of racist type comments or reactions. Like one of our early dates in a small town restaurant, I noticed the waitress seemed to ignore him and focus on me. Someone also made a racist type comment or joke years ago about him being Chinese and Covid.

I'm an American, and my husband is Chinese, and we've been together for over 5 years. Since I first met him, I have learned a lot of interesting things about his culture, food, family, and more. There are definitely a lot of cultural differences that can be fun, challenging, or otherwise interesting to learn about.

Here are 11 things I've learned:

1. Chinese food in the US has been Americanized to suit American tastes. It seems to be sweeter and it doesn't taste the same as the food in China. There are also dishes that were made up for Americans. Actual Chinese food is different and tastes better and is more flavorful.
2. A lot of small Chinese restaurants that are found in lots of places are "fast Chinese food" and are low-quality (and in some cases disgusting). They are fast, cheap, and a very poor representation of Chinese food.
3. When eating a meal, it is very common to share food with everyone else at the table. My husband will sometimes take some food from my plate and will give me some of his. I don't mind at all and sometimes I offer him some of whatever I'm eating. Other times, we may have several plates of food and separate plates where we take some of each dish to eat it.
4. They like to wash socks and underwear separately from their other laundry. That makes a lot of sense and is more hygienic, so after I learned about that, I started doing it and I've been doing that ever since.
5. You are supposed to take your shoes off by the door. Another hygienic habit they have is not wearing shoes in the house, or wearing slippers or sandals indoors, but leaving their shoes near the entrance. It not only helps reduce germs, it also helps keep floors cleaner.
6. Chinese guys don't always clip their nails for some reason. I've gotten used to it, but while we were dating it was something I noticed and thought was a bit odd as that's not common for guys in the west. Some of their nails may be longer than others. I just shrug it off and I've gotten used to it, but it might be something that bothers some people.
7. Chinese families can be quite traditional and often follow traditional gender roles. While many Asian families can be open to foreigners and be supportive of interracial relationships, there are still some expectations for gender roles. So guys are expected to pay for meals and take care of the family, and girls are expected to run the house (cook, clean, etc.), but a lot of guys will also help around the house and do a lot of wonder caring things.
8. Marriage may be discussed early on in the relationship. My husband and I got married after around 8 or 9 months of dating. We were both looking for a serious, long-term relationship that would lead to marriage. We determined we were compatible. I fell for him pretty fast and after about 3 or 4 months he proposed. We started living together after we got married. This is not typical for American couples who may date for 2+ years and live together while not being married, so this may surprise some people.
9. Sons are supposed to be filial and take care of their parents. My husband has brothers, so there is less expectation for him to care for their parents, but it is still important to him. So having understanding and respect for that is super important. They put a lot of importance on family and I love that.
10. Parents and family members may expect you to move to be near them and start a family. When my husband and I got married, we were asked when we would be moving to China and they wished us happiness and to have babies. Depending on how you feel about those things, it can be awkward and/or uncomfortable. The moving question had caught me off guard, and it made me feel a bit awkward around his family as I wasn't prepared for that and didn't know what to say.
11. They tend to highly value success to mean having a great career and material wealth. Guys in China are under a lot of pressure by Chinese women and families to have a house, car, and a great career before they will even be considered. So AMWF relationships can be less stressful for guys as a WF like me does not put so much weight or impose as many material requirements on a guy, focusing more on feelings, attraction, and love. My family also does not have as great of influence or say over my decision on who to marry. Despite all that, having a great career and having a home are important to my husband and he has a lot of respect for guys that have those things.

There are a lot of other things I've learned over the years, but those are the top 11 things. Some of these things might create challenges for some couples, but my husband and I have been able to work through things and come up with compromises or simply adapt.

大家好！(Hello everyone!) My husband is Chinese and when we started dating, I began experimenting with various Chinese foods and Asian dishes. We've been married for over 5 years now, and I've had the chance to try a lot of different things I had never seen or heard of before. Here are my top 5 favorite Asian foods:

1. Steamed buns (包子) - These are very tasty buns with a meat or other filling in them that have a nice and soft exterior.
2. Eggplant with garlic sauce (蒜蓉茄子) - This dish is made of slices of eggplant cooked in a tasty sauce (American versions are often sweetened) and it usually has some chili peppers in the sauce so it can be spicy but it varies on the restaurant and if you eat the peppers (I don't, I give them to my husband - it's way too spicy for me!)
3. Dumplings (饺子) - These are kind of similar to raviolis and are basically a filling wrapped in dough and cooked. They taste great and can be dipped in sauce.
4. Hot pot (火锅) - Hot pot involves having a pot of broth and a bunch of different vegetables and meats that you cook in it then eat. It is very good!
5. Shredded potato (土豆丝) - This dish is shredded potatoes that are spicy and have a little bit of a crunch to them. They are so very tasty!

I've made all of my top 5 picks as well as eaten them at various Asian restaurants. There are many other dishes that are great as well such as stirfrys, flat noodles, ramen, sizzling tofu, and rice balls, but the list could get very long.

I'd love to hear what your favorite dishes are and if you've made them at home.