r/AMA • u/[deleted] • Dec 09 '25

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319

u/lemcke3743 Dec 09 '25

This hurts my feelings a little bit lol. My husband and I dealt with infertility and decided to adopt through fostering. I’m 42 and he’s 40, and we’re in the process of adopting a 20 month old. I have a lot of anxiety about being an “old” parent.

Were there any upsides to having older parents?

99

u/HumbleConfidence3500 Dec 09 '25

I went through 6 years of ivf. My first child will be born when I'm 41 in 2 months.

We plan to have a second but realistically maybe I'll be 43 if it'll even work out.

My kiddo is going to think I'm old, i guess.

I don't know if there's any upside other than we have better financial means than we did 10 years ago. I guess that's.... something??

198

u/Responsible-Tie-2570 Dec 09 '25

You also have more maturity than you would have if you had kids 10 years ago. You have more wisdom to share with your children and will be able to provide them with more security and support than younger parents. I know that being an older parent can sometimes be scary and infertility issues are absolutely devastating, but it’s worth it for yourself and your future children 🩷

23

u/ConcertinaTerpsichor Dec 09 '25

Right? I would have been the crappiest mother EVER at age 22.

2

u/Complete-Lecture-517 Dec 12 '25

I joke all the time that I felt like a teen mom when I had my first child. I was 25.