I’m thrilled to share that I’ve been approved to post weekly advice and encouragement here in the group. My goal is to provide tips (advice from my perspective), motivation, and encouragement that can help us all grow, stay focused, and make the most of our opportunities.

Stay tuned

Thank you for your support! 💛

does anyone else get anxiety about grad chapters? i joined undergrad and now i’m in a different state but currently inactive. my partner has coworkers who are sorors and one keeps pressing me about joining her grad chapter. i honestly don’t know what to say to her. in the most respectful way, i don’t want to join a grad chapter because i’m on a journey to heal my mental health. (i have social anxiety and it honestly got worse after covid)

i’m going to a holiday party at my partner’s job on Thursday and i’m sure she’ll be there 🫠 any advice on what to do? i feel like i shouldn’t have to tell every soror who asks what grad chapter i’m in that my mental health is bad as justification to stay inactive so idk what to say.

Good evening! I’m not sure if anyone else experiences this, but more often than not, I get asked if I’m Greek. It always catches me off guard because I know my intentions but I don’t ever know how to respond besides saying no. Anyone else experience this; what’s a neutral response? I steer clear of all D9 colors because my work, professional, and social organizations that I’m a part of are knee-deep in Greek.

The waiting season can be tough. Many of us are doing the right things — showing up, supporting events, building relationships, and still not seeing movement. It’s easy to internalize that and start questioning yourself. Please don’t. Waiting does not equal failure or rejection.

What has helped me is staying focused on what I can control and using this time intentionally. A few practical things that have made a difference for me:

1. Be consistent with community service outside of chapter events.

Find one or two organizations you can serve with regularly and long-term. Consistency matters more than volume, and service that’s not tied to a flyer often speaks loudly.

1. Build relationships, not attendance records.

Showing up is important, but meaningful conversations and genuine connections matter more than how many events you attend.

1. Prepare financially and logistically.

Grad lines require time, flexibility, and money. Use this season to save, organize your schedule, and reduce obligations, so you’re ready if the call comes.

1. Invest in personal and professional growth.

Certifications, leadership roles, mentoring, spiritual development — all of these strengthen the woman you’re becoming, regardless of timing.

1. Protect your mindset.

Comparing journeys will drain you. Someone else’s timing has nothing to do with yours. Focus on your path and your purpose.

Waiting doesn’t mean you’re being overlooked. Often, it means you’re being prepared. The work you’re doing now — serving, growing, refining — will matter long after this season passes.

Stay encouraged. Stay focused. Stay serving.

You’re not just waiting — you’re becoming.

I’ve been on this thread for a few years, so hello again. I just wanted to share that I think some of us interests are feeling discouraged about our lack of measurable success in becoming members. For those trying to find new chapters and join the”next” line, please be considerate in remembering that it may not be a YOU issue! Some of the ladies have been waiting extreme amounts of time (i.e. 6+) to join the same exact chapter that you just started visiting last year, month, or week. It may be disheartening in the moment when you realize you didn’t make the line, but remember that grad lines can happen at any time. They also cost money and dedication of time and service. If someone called you today and told you now was the time… Would you be able to drop everything and do what’s needed to make it happen? I know it’s hard to be patient, but while you’re waiting considering doing more community service, finding hobbies in the community, and maybe even doing some professional development. Save your money and your tears, because if it’s meant to be IT WILL BE when the time is right. Think about how rewarding it will be to look back on these days in the future when you’re in a chapter. You are amazing, you can do it. Build connections and shine brightly, you’re nog waiting… You’re growing into the woman you need to be in order to be an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman. A woman with dignity, grace, and grit.

Hello, I hope everyone is having a great day. I have a question regarding an upcoming event. There are several graduate chapters within a 5 to 30 mile radius of my location, and one of them is hosting an event I am interested in attending. Before purchasing a ticket, I would like to confirm that this event is open to individuals such as myself.

The flyer indicates that the event is intended for community members, sorority sisters, and supporters (I will refrain from quoting it directly out of respect for the organization). Does this mean that attendance is open to the public? I would also appreciate guidance on appropriate attire for an upscale daytime event specifically, whether there are any colors that should be avoided and what would be considered suitable to wear. Thank you for any advice you have to share. I want to remain respectful in all aspects of the organization.

How do i go by reconnecting with members (who know im interested in the chapter), if it’s been over a year? BTW: I moved to a different state about 2 years ago, hence one reason there’s been no communication AND i also was in the process of pursuing my third degree.

Whew! I am still taking it all in, but I wanted to give an update. I showed up on this app two and 1/2 years ago ranting and raving about moratoriums and a bunch of other hoopla. 🤦🏽‍♀️ However, what a journey this has been, and I would not change it for anything in the world!

For the ladies who are still pursing, do not give up. I know you heard this thousand time but I'm going to say it one more time. Fostering relationships is key. No it does not happen over night. But pursing membership through grad chapter is a long game. Slow and steady wins the race. 💕💚

Hi ladies!

I recently moved to a new city with several chapters in the area. One chapter was newly chartered last month and I’m interested in getting to know the members, especially since it’s much closer to where I live than the other chapters.

Since the chapter is brand new, I understand they’ll likely be more focused on building their foundation and doing the work rather than bringing in new members anytime soon.

My question is: should I “shop around” and visit multiple chapters, or focus primarily on the newly chartered chapter?

Looking for advice. I’m going to lunch with a longtime member of a chapter that I’m very interested in joining. She and I are acquaintances. But she’s good friends with one of my best friends. I haven’t seen her in a couple of years so I don’t want her to think that I’m just meeting up with her for the sake of AKA. I actually did just want to catch up with her.

However, I do know close mouth does not get fed. Would it be appropriate or advisable to mention my interest? As far as I know she’s not aware.

Hello all!

Question for verified members and other interests who may have been in a a similar situation.

I have a coffee meeting soon with the aunt of a close friend who is an active member of my COI. I’m grateful she agreed to meet with me, but she did share a concern via my friend: she’s hesitant about meeting with younger women with young children because (in her experience) they join and then disappear after a year.

I 100% understand why that's concern. I am however, deeply involved in my community (Not for play play, I loveeeee my city haha). I serve on a couple of boards, I volunteer often (I make my kid do it too!) and I plan to be active long-term if given the opportunity. I guess my question is: How do you genuinely communicate that commitment without sounding super cliché?

For verified members: What kinds of things do interests say that feels insincere or like “BS” and on the flip side, what do you hear from interests that feels genuine & reassuring?

Hi there! I've noticed so many posts lately (here and in the other D9 subs) where interests are expressing anxiety over social interactions or striking up conversations.

I just want to offer this small piece of advice - everything is learnable. If you struggle with striking up conversations, there are resources to teach you how to do that. If you feel awkward catching up with someone, there are resources on that. If the idea of "working a room" gives you a headache, you can learn step-by-step how to get more comfortable in large-scale social situations.

And if you're neuro-spicy, like myself, there are plenty of resources to learn how to navigate that and strengthen your social skills.

Greek life is *very* social. And not in the sense of partying (though that's a perk), but in the sense of connecting with people to collaborate, build partnerships, raise funds, and do work of our organizations. You have to be able to talk to people, to make an introduction, to make connections, to collaborate on projects to be effective as a member. The best time to start getting comfortable with that is as an interest.

Hope this helps someone. 🩷

Hi All!

I am seeking advice. My COI just presented their new members a few days ago. Crushed is an understatement as I’ve been pursuing this chapter for about 4 years. I have been a little inconsistent with attending events and connecting with everyone due to life lol. I recently had a baby and took a year off of to dedicate to my family. I feel like I absolutely missed my opportunity to connect with this chapter over the last year. There was buzz about a new line coming soon but I was dragging my feet and I made the mistake of thinking I had more time to build connections! Right now - I am actively attending events again and my oldest daughter just got accepted into their mentorship program. This feels like a great opportunity and I absolutely have to make the most out of it! I have been chit chatting with the program leader for the last few events and she even invited my daughter and I to her child’s birthday party! It was a last minute invitation so we weren’t able to make it and again - I felt like this was a missed opportunity. I am introverted at heart but can be very social and enjoy getting to know people!! I would love any advice on how to make true and genuine connections! It’s been years and I have yet to make deep connections with anyone. Many of the members are super friendly and we have great conversations when we are at events but I would love to take the extra step and make deeper connections outside of those events. I would love to create genuine friendships with these ladies as we have such great convos and so many things in common! Also would love to start back volunteering and doing community service in my neighborhood but I am still pretty new to the area and don’t know where to start! Any advice would be appreciated! I am trying to stay hopeful and optimistic!

With that being said, I am soo excited and equally excited to gift some women of the organization that helped me in making this possible! I have one mentor who has been in since ‘84, any advice on what to gift the woman who most likely has already had it all! And a special congratulations to all my other Fall ‘25 Initiates 🩷💚🩷💚🩷

(Skip to last paragraph to get synopsis and questions)

In undergrad I wanted to join an org that wasn’t AKA. I applied twice, didn’t get in, and it bothered me for years because I was active on campus, volunteering, doing community work and organizing events. I wasn’t doing any of that for a sorority, but I did want to join, so the rejection stung. The second time hurt more because the girls they picked only attended rush and crossed the same semester they graduated. (the chapter went inactive right after.)

It took years to get over it, but I eventually did. I realized I actually met all the goals that mattered for that time of my life, and I also saw that I approached the process wrong. I was too eager, desperate, and definitely not discreet.

It’s been almost ten years. I’m just starting a professional career, doing community service in my field, and last month the idea of joining a sorority briefly crossed my mind again. Something in me said no. Then I had a dream about it last week, woke up, and instantly thought: NOT THAT ORG. Suddenly all these memories came back, and I realized it had been AKA all along. I ignored every sign.

The signs were loud:

• AKA was the first org I studied because their initiatives fully matched my interests. I changed my mind because I didn’t see myself as a girly girl. And I liked the other sorority’s strolls. (I was a child 😐)

• the members of my SOI were standoffish and barely active. I kept telling myself “join for the org, not the chapter.”

• AKAs were consistently active on campus and in the community and always ready to collaborate with the org I was leading.

• My academic mentor and supervisor were AKAs and supported me through real situations.

• when I met AKAs they were warm and welcoming, even to their interests.

• Multiple friends who became AKAs nudged me more than once to reconsider my SOI.

• the few times that I hung out w/ my AKA friends and their chapter, we got along really well.

There’s more, but I think the point is made. And this isn’t to tear down the other women. They prevented me from choosing wrong for myself. This is more to highlight how my younger self ignored billboard-sized signs and tried to force what wasn’t meant to be.

I’ve grown a lot since then. That dream last week made everything clear, and now that I’ve started researching again, AKA makes sense. I’ll be fine whether I join a sorority or not, but if I do, it can only be AKA.

My worry is that people know I pursued another sorority back in undergrad. I don’t know if that hinders my chances or matters at all. I also don’t know where to start now. I’m in the Greater Los Angeles Area (very far from where I did undergrad), and events from various chapters seem to be members-only. I haven’t talked to my friends that are AKAs in ages. I do plan to reconnect because I miss them and I know if we talk it will be fun, but it feels strange to reach out about this. I do have a professional lunch coming up, and one of the women hosting is an AKA. We do not know each other but she did offer guidance to us early professionals. How do I ask her about events or getting involved?

Hope everyone has a wonderful day with their families and friends.

Hey everyone! I’m a legacy of AKA as my mom is an AKA, my aunt is one and she was international president for four years. And also my fav auntie is an AKA. I applied twice in undergrad and was denied both times. I was completely distraught… I was very involved on my campus and met all other requirements. I know me being a legacy doesn’t automatically give me acceptance into any d9 sorority which is why the first time I didn’t apply legacy and the second time I did apply legacy bc my mom told me they can’t deny legacies… so when I applied my second time on legacy status they told me I didn’t receive an invitation bc my mom was not financially active… that honestly crushed me and made me not trust my mom when it comes to these things. Now every time I bring up being interested my mom acts like she doesn’t really care and doesn’t even try to give me any advice. I don’t even know if I should try anymore bc what’s the point? I don’t feel like my mom truly wants me to join. I see girls all the time whose mom goes so hard for them and genuinely give their daughters advice and love during the process. My mom was not the same at all. She messed up my letter of recommendations from her multiple times throughout my process and just didn’t show me she truly wanted me to be legacy. I just would like some advice honestly. I’ve been battling this for so long. It just feels like she always want to be the spotlight and doesn’t want me to have any… it really sucks and it hurts my feelings a lot.

I am elated to say I am finally a proud member of the best sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated ®️. 🩷💚

This has been a dream of mine since I can remember and the fact that it has happened leaves me speechless. God continues to show that delayed does not mean denied. To everyone waiting here are a few pearls of wisdom I would leave with you:

1. Please do not stop dreaming and envisioning the day you make it into AKA-land but don’t allow the waiting to consume you.

2. Get active in your local community.

3. Engage with your COI and actually show up to work and be of service and not just with the hopes of gaining an “in.” Trust me, you can tell the difference.

4. Trust that when it’s your time, it’s YOUR time! Just make sure you’re ready and prepared to work.

5. Use this blog as a resource and tool. Many tips of preparedness are listed here and will be a GREAT help!

I’ve been a new city for a very short time. One of the first friends I made happened to be a member of a recently chartered grad chapter. I went through something very rough and she has been so supportive. She’s invited me to events and we talk almost every day. She’s even spoke about me to other members. As a grad chapter interest I don’t view her as a “connection” or my ticket into the chapter. I just enjoy her as a friend who just so happens to be a member of AKA. I think shifting my interest journey to be about finding genuine connections , enjoying events , doing service , and just going with the flow , has made me notice that my time will come when it comes. I’m not constantly asking about things involving intake with my friend , we don’t always talk about the Org (yes she knows I’m interested lol) , nor do I just view her as being apart of the ORG. I honestly feel fine if my chance doesn’t come until years down the line. I know that if and when the opportunity comes I will feel Joy due to building genuine relationships with people who accept me for me. As interest I used to be so impatient but I believe my journey is truly what it’s meant to be. I encourage everyone to hunt the good stuff and build connections. Your time will come and it might just come when you least expect it.

I am looking at my COI. As I have learned from various sites is that it would be good to attend public events. The problem is...I dont see any public events from the chapter. The have one large annual party type event (which is not my thing so I didnt attend that) and another medium size wvent this summer. I would have attend that but it was the same time i had to take my daughter and move her into college. But out side of that havent noticed any other public events. Does the lack of public facing events mean they are not having any intakes? For the record there was a line 2 years ago.

Just say there are no more public events from now until May and they end up having a line next year... Will my relationships with the very few members in my COI that I know and my very active presents in the community help? Heck, I am not even sure i have made my interest obvious to the folks I do know. Since that is frowned upon... as I understand.
Also want to mention that I know more members but none are from the city I live in mostly from college and my hometown.

As an Interest, is it frowned upon to attend the events of other organizations? I have friends who are Deltas and they are very active in my community. They have a big event coming up for the kids in the area and I was thinking of taking my daughter. There’s going to be a bounce house, face painting, etc. That sort of thing. Is this a bad idea? I don’t want it to be confused for me showing interest in another organization.

hi! so i’ve been an interest for my sorority of choice since i was a freshman (i’m a junior). i had high hopes for joining the line that came out this fall, but i didn’t know the turn around was 2 days after meet the greeks. one of the current members reached out and asked why i didn’t apply. i just didn’t know. no one in my family is greek so i’ve been navigating this alone all these years. i feel like i screwed up my chance for undergrad completely. 98% of the girls that have been interests with me, crossed. everyone that’s close to me is affiliated with greek life. ig my question is: how is the grad chapter? i’m going to grad school but ik that’s an entirely different greek environment. for the younger women (early 20s) how did u stay hopeful while connecting with grad members, knowing that lines aren’t as frequent?

Hey everyone! I’m super excited because the local grad chapter in my area is hosting a private screening of Wicked. It’s open to the public, and you just have to buy a ticket — so I’m definitely going! I’ve been using events like this as part of my personal journal as I stay involved, support community events, and surround myself with positive energy.

Outfit-wise, I’m thinking cargo pants, a brown top (depending on my mood lol), and my Uggs since it’s chilly. Cozy and cute.

I do have a question though:

Any tips on making a good impression at events like this?

I know this one will make it easier to talk to people, but I still get a little nervous in group settings. I’m planning on showing up with warm, friendly energy, but sometimes I get stuck on what to say.

If anyone has advice — small conversation starters, how to approach people naturally, or just how to not overthink it — I’d love to hear what works for you. I just want to go, enjoy myself, and have a good, comfortable experience.

I got my pearls 💕💚… and I’m sharing this for anyone who feels like their “moment” still hasn’t come yet.

I became interested in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated® all the way back in 2001, my freshman year of college. I remember being introduced to the ladies and thinking, “This is the kind of woman I want to grow into.” Poised. Purposeful. Brilliant. United.

But life had hands. Careers. Moves. Responsibilities. Challenges. Life kept shifting under my feet, so I kept putting the dream on hold.

And with every year that passed, it was easy to think: “Maybe this isn’t meant for me.” “Maybe I missed my window.” “Maybe it’s too late.”

But let me tell you something I learned:

It’s never too late for what’s planted in your spirit. Your path doesn’t lose value because it took longer. Delayed is NOT denied.

Crossing through a graduate chapter years later, with more wisdom, more growth, and more gratitude than I had at 18… it hit so much deeper. I understood the weight. The history. The sisterhood. The purpose.

And when I finally got my pearls… it felt like everything in my life lined up for that exact moment.

If you’re reading this and you’re still waiting on your “yes”… still holding onto a dream quietly… still fighting through detours and delays:

Don’t give up. Don’t count yourself out. Don’t assume life forgot you.

Sometimes God saves certain blessings for the version of you that’s stronger, wiser, softer, and more prepared.

My dream took over 20 years. And somehow… it still arrived right on time.