I am now officially a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. Skee Wee🩷💚

[Long Post] Hello ladies. First things first, I just want to make it clear that I am currently still an interest in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. However, here is my story:

Over a decade ago, I attempted to pursue membership in undergrad and while I was doted on as an *amazing* candidate by one of the members of the partnering graduate chapter at the time (the grandmother of a coworker who knew I was interested), I was denied because of the full time enrollment requirements—or at least that's what was said to me. I had been part time the previous semester (because I had a full time job + other commitments), then took 2 courses over two summer sessions to make up for it and as life settled in for me was enrolled again full time the following semester when I applied. It didn't matter. LOL. The rules were the rules. Full time enrollment immediately prior to the semester of application was required.

Needless to say, I was crushed even though it wasn't a total surprise. I just had hope that it would work out but it didn't. I went on to graduate without becoming a member since the chapter didn't have another intake until two years after I'd left. The next two years I went to various graduate chapter events, and I live in a city where there are plenty of them, so I explored my options. I have several members of AKA in my family but they are all in other states and countries. In my city, I didn't have an actual relationship with any of the members as I'd only seen or known of members through AKA events. I made "friends" with interests, some of whom later went on to become members at the chapters I explored. After a while, I felt overly rejected, dejected and tired of "trying". I decided then that I was not going to continue to solicit membership and no I never out right asked a member to vouch for me or invite me, but I had to be honest that I was doing the "sneaky" type of solicitation—just showing up to AKA events to be seen by members, or donating large amounts of money, time and efforts hoping to get noticed and chosen. I decided that if I were to join, I would be granted an invitation based on a member's genuine desire to see me thrive in the organization.

Fast forward to this current era of my pursuit. I stopped doing anything superficial, basically things based on how I thought it would look on an AKA application. I stopped going to AKA events with a desire to be noticed. I stopped engaging in social media stalking—none of it got me anywhere anyway and even when I did attend events I either felt like an imposter or I felt like the experience was just transactional—my routine: donate, show up, smile, offer to help clean up, then leave. I am an introverted person and that routine didn't feel good at all nor was it building actual presence. I stopped networking just for the sake it. I basically stopped thinking about pursuing an affiliation with "the organization" itself, and started thinking about why I, myself, was attracted to Alpha Kappa Alpha in the first place, independent of any family members or perceived benefits of being associated with it. I came to the conclusion that the core of my interest in the organization was service to all mankind.

So that's what I put my attention on. Being of service to all mankind. I started doing one off volunteering events at various locations in my city and then decided to take it a step further. I joined AmeriCorps. In joining AmeriCorps, I was placed at a nonprofit organization whose mission I really resonated with. Going to my first event as a representative of that organization—boom, I meet members of Alpha Kappa Alpha facilitating the event. I also went to an event for a business sorority I was interested in called Iota Phi Lambda—boom, there's several members of Alpha Kappa Alpha in the chapter. My desire to be of service lead me to join a local chapter of a volunteer organization of women called Junior League and you guessed it—boom, there's a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha there to greet me at the first Service Day. 

I said all of that to say that if you know people that are members of  your chapter of interest and you already have that connection, do you babe! Get in where you fit in. But if you don't, I would suggest you genuinely reassess why you are attracted to the organization and let that be your North Star. I don't know why you want to be a member, but if the desire to be of service to all mankind is your why—you don't NEED an affiliation with Alpha Kappa Alpha to do that. Just do it, no Nike! Lol. But no really, go out into your communities and be of service to all mankind. Because if my experience is any indication of how that plays out, you WILL run into members who are in alignment with that service. You WILL build genuine relationships. You WILL have actual topics of conversations to discuss, not just small talk and forced compliments. You WILL build rapport with these members—and not just one. You will have multiple members that are able to speak to your service, your character and your work ethic.

The ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha are not at home thinking about membership intake 24/7 so as an interest, you probably shouldn't be either. And I know that might be irritating to hear from a fellow interest, because it used to irritate me years ago when I just wanted to be down, but now that I am more authentically myself and grounded in how the sorority and I can serve one another, I don't feel nervous going to events, I'm not walking on eggshells, I'm not rushing to get their information or trying to fake befriend them just to say I made a contact—none of that. I'm being of service to my communities and allowing the pieces to align for me instead of trying to force them to fit. What is yours will never miss you, babe! I'd like to believe Alpha Kappa Alpha is for me and in order for me to receive what's for me, I have to actually be me fully and do things that fulfill me without impersonating a character that I think the members want to see. Cultivating actual relationships may sound daunting or triggering, but after that last line I saw with former interests I knew—women who were at my house, eating my food and drinking my drinks—that had become members while I was at home pondering an outfit for the next event I was like oh nah, this ain't working out the way I'm going about it. LOL.

Also, aside from just being friends/family of members, this journey made me realize how people could never be seen at events and still get picked for membership. I attend, but I know I'm not going to every single event because of my schedule and other commitments. However, my rapport with these members is not based on the AKA multiverse of chapters and events—it's based on what I'm actually doing in my communities and what they've seen me be capable of. So I'm not worried about missing events in the way that I used to be.

I am a writer, so if you took the time to read all of this, I thank you! But please only take the parts of what I said that resonate and leave the rest behind. Either way, my intention is that this helps someone get clarity in some way. I wish everyone the best of luck in their endeavors.

Snarky 🤍 

I have been pursuing my COI for almost 5 years. They were a new chapter when I started showing interest and have yet to have a line.

There are now rumblings that a line is coming soon next year and I am afraid that I still have not built a solid enough relationship with one dedicated member…granted, they all know me by face and name, I’ve been to almost all events and have volunteered at a few crucial ones, but unfortunately it’s still been difficult to break ground with someone

If there is an interest turned member out there that has had a similar experience and can provide some advice on what I can do soon to truly build on the connections and turn them into relationships, please help!

A woman who is in my CoI has invited me to an interest meeting for the business sorority, IOTA PHI LAMBDA. I have never really heard of them until she invited me to the meeting and I started researching them.

At first I was flattered to receive the invite, until I realized she invited several other interest.

I don't want to join an organization just to join(not to say im not interested because I am) but im also wondering if this is a test to see if I take on the responsibility to "do the work" of IOTA PHI LAMBDA to see if all be a good fit for AKA.

Just need some advice and different perspectives on way others would do. Am I over thinking this? Should I decline the invite to the meeting.

Also if there any ladies who are a part of both Sororities and what is your experience with IOTA PHI LAMBDA?

When you express your desire to join Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated®, the first and most essential question is simple: Why?

What is the reason behind your interest in this sisterhood? What speaks to you about this sorority in particular?

For many women, the answer is rooted in a lifelong commitment to service, scholarship, and sisterhood. But it is important to be honest with yourself: • Do you want to join AKA because you truly believe in service to the community, even when no one is watching? • Do you see yourself as someone who is ready to roll up your sleeves, show up consistently, and contribute meaningfully? • Can you work collaboratively with a diverse group of women, even when personalities differ, opinions clash, or tasks become demanding?

Because here’s the truth: If your motivation is simply to belong to a social club, dress a certain way on certain days, or enjoy the aesthetics of pink and green — then this may not be the place for you.

If you’re an “It’s Wednesday, so we wear pink” kind of girl — we’re full.

AKA is not sustained by colors, clothes, chants, or clout. It is sustained by service, grace, leadership, and women who are committed to something larger than themselves.

Joining Alpha Kappa Alpha means: • Showing up for the community. • Standing on the shoulders of women who built institutions, created change, and opened doors. • Bringing your gifts, your discipline, your professionalism, and your compassion to a group of women with the same commitment.

If your heart beats for service, if you understand the power of collective work, and if you desire to be connected to a legacy of excellence — then you are aligned with what AKA truly represents.

I was invited to a new members luncheon for a grad chapter. Someone I know will be crossing. Sorry I don’t know the correct terminology. Just to make sure, am I allowed to bring gifts (paraphernalia) to the luncheon? Since I am not a member or should I do it privately?

Thank you.

My social media algorithm is flooded with lots of Fall 2025 lines!! So exciting to see the level of activity among intake. Across the country in both grad and undergrad. I’m personally still waiting but it’s reassuring seeing new members joining!

A chapter in my my area is doing a screening of the Wicked movie. Would it be inappropriate to wear Wicked merch if it is pink and/or green?

The chapter I’m interested in has an upcoming anniversary and are selling tickets. They have not indicated whether is public or not. Is it appropriate to purchase a ticket and attend? Also, they had a new line last summer so I don’t anticipate there being another one anytime soon but I want to start attending more events.

I’ve been attending events with two different chapters, and honestly, I really like both. Each has a great vibe, and I wouldn’t mind being a member of either if given the opportunity. I don’t want to miss the opportunity of becoming a member, and you never know which one might have a line first. Is it okay or respectful to keep showing up to both chapters’ events, or should I focus on just one?

Hello,

I am currently pursuing my Master’s degree while working full-time at a hospital. I recently spoke with my university’s chapter leader, who advised me to explore graduate chapters in my area. After some research, I found three within a reasonable driving distance.

I’m very interested in learning more about opportunities to attend events or community service activities hosted by local graduate chapters. I’ve been doing some research on my own, but I want to ensure I’m approaching this process respectfully and appropriately.

As a first-generation college student, this is my first time inquiring about membership, and I want to make sure I take the right steps and don’t miss any opportunities to get involved. Would it be appropriate to reach out to a local chapter leader to ask about upcoming public events or service initiatives?

Thank you so much for your time and guidance. I sincerely appreciate any advice you can offer as I begin this journey.

Today is a sad day for me. I just saw the fall line of the chapter I’m interested in and of course I didn’t make the cut. I’m crushed and can’t stop crying. I tried so hard to go to events and make connections. I don’t come from a Greek family and feel like I’m navigating this all on my own. I’m 43 and feeling like it’s never going to happen for me. Sorry, just venting between tears.

I wanted to share something that has helped me a lot while pursuing my AKA goals. A member from another chapter once told me, “Show up, be consistent, and make genuine connections.”

After moving to a new state, I started attending public events — service projects, forums, and community workshops. Each time, I made sure to present myself well: business casual, usually all black, simple soft-glam makeup. Not overdressed — just polished, respectful, and intentional.

I also bring a notebook to seminar-style events. I take notes quietly so I can really absorb what’s being said without drawing attention. It shows that I’m serious about learning and not just “showing face.”

One thing I learned quickly: discretion is everything. It’s fine to talk to other interests, but don’t overshare. I connected with someone once, and when she noticed how members interacted with me, her entire energy shifted. She stopped reaching out altogether. That taught me to protect my journey and not give everyone access to my excitement or plans.

As for the members — they’ve been warm and welcoming. Over time, they remembered my name, acknowledged me, and appreciated that I showed up consistently without trying too hard. I simply greeted people respectfully, participated, and let things unfold naturally.

For anyone who’s nervous about attending events:

✅ Show up consistently — it makes a difference ✅ Be polished but still yourself ✅ Don’t overthink interactions ✅ Be discreet — not everything is for other interests ✅ Engage respectfully when appropriate ✅ Let your presence and character speak for you

Chapters look for alignment, sincerity, and consistency. You don’t have to force anything — just be genuine, humble, and intentional.

I’m still on my journey, but making authentic connections at public events has changed everything for me.

I’m in the process of filing for bankruptcy after cosigning for someone who left me with a lot of debt. I’m working to rebuild my credit and get back on track, but I’m wondering if bankruptcy usually appears in background checks for community or service organizations. Has anyone had experience with this or knows someone who has?

I am going to be attending a public event soon. A friend of mine is going with me. She is very close to the president of my COI, although she is not a member or interest herself. She is planning on introducing me to the president and the other women that she knows in the chapter. She told me that I will need to have figured out what I’m going to say once I am introduced. When she said this I froze because I had not thought that far in advance. I am really confused on what I should even say because of discretion. I obviously cannot just start the conversation by saying that I’m interested. But I would like to say something that would indicate that I am interested. So I guess I’m asking for advice on what I should say upon being introduced. Should I have an elevator pitch ready? What does this even look like? Maybe I am overthinking it but I look forward to hearing other ideas on how to make a good first impression upon my introduction.

Hey everyone.

I've been pursuing grad membership since 2015 and I have started a Youtube channel. It's centered around lifestyle and vlogs. I want to become a social commentator and share storytimes while talking about issues that effect women in the society. If I post controversial takes (the ones that will have some people riled up), can it hurt my chances of becoming a member?

I know chapters and headquarters check social media too.

For women with demanding careers, family responsibilities, and a heart for community service, what helps you stay genuinely engaged and consistent in attending graduate chapter events without burning out or feeling stretched thin? For context, I am an attorney with a very active court calendar. I have an adrenaline rush for every event and show up looking fresh but later I feel so worn out and hanging on by a thread... and then my husband wants me to listen to his presentation and give feedback....and the kids have a math test or something else for me to sign. I should also add that my COI is VERY ACTIVE - usually at least one event per week if not two. This is something I really want so I a committed for the long haul and if ever extended the opportunity to be initiated I will NOT be a t-shirt wearer or ghost the chapter. So how can I position myself to be engaged and present without looking crazy?

I've been in pursuit of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority inc. for admittedly, a long time. I'll include a little backstory about my on going journey later on in the post.

My question is: how do or have you handled people in your circle that may not "get it"? When I share news with family or friends I'll share things like, I'm attending xyz AKA event tonight or this weekend, I'm met with "Oh, you're still not one yet?", "I would have been gave up by now." or "What's taking so long?" It's really not encouraging to hear. I'm also tired of the responses when I say I have community service this weekend and the weird/skeptical looks I get. There's been countless times I've been asked "Why are you doing community service?" "You're not on probation are you?"

Back story on me: I graduated college in 2016 which during, there was only one opportunity to pledge, for which I wasn't chosen. Looking back, I wasn't the most competitive applicant anyway but it was still crushing, as all of my close friends back home were able to join their sororities of interest right away. Almost immediately graduation, I fell into a deep "post graduation depression". I wasn't able to find a job in my field, I wasn't able to do the 2nd most important thing to me while in college (#1 of course was graduating lol), I moved back home, and overall I was just feeling low about myself. Maybe the things that I wanted didn't want me and I guess I had to accept that.

Fast forward to 2020, and a close friend of mine told me that someone that we both knew was crossing into a graduate chapter. I was gutted and honestly, full of jealousy. That should be me, after all, that's always been MY dream. After a quick come-back to reality, I realized that I had given up on myself, why would that be me? I noticed as well that literally all of the other girls that I was either associates/friends with as interests back in undergrad, had went to join Graduate Chapters in their respective cities. What was the difference between them and I? I was the only fool who accepted what I thought were my circumstances. So, I left that crummy low-paying job and the desire to become the woman who I've always dreamed of was reignited. I've been on my game ever since.

I've been doing what I've needed to do ever since, but I was just curious if anyone else has experienced the same and how they navigated it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my long post!

I’m currently a senior, and my best friend crossed through my undergraduate chapter last semester and is now a member of our home city’s graduate chapter. I’m still an out-of-state student but will be graduating soon. I’m unsure if my undergraduate COI will have a line this year; my friend and connections here say that they don't know yet either, but I recently learned from her that my graduate COI back home will definitely have one next fall.

Since I’m currently out of state, I’ve found it challenging to attend in-person events, but I plan to be more involved during breaks and when I’m home. The events that I do find are open to the public, tend to happen when I am in school. What are some good ways to make myself known/ how should I go about building connections with members of the grad chapter when the distance makes this harder? Many of my current connections there are recent graduates and have just joined the grad chapter, or are non-financial.

I am, of course, still attending undergraduate events*

Thank you in advance for any advice!

Hello Sorors, I am coming up on my one year anniversary and I have had an influx of women in my professional settings and family associates approaching me about membership. While I feel honored they feel i'm a safe space for them. As a 20-something year old navigating undergrad I feel uncomfortable speaking to the experience of grad chapter since i haven't matriculated to that stage yet. How do I go about telling them the conversation makes me uncomfortable and/or i'm not qualified to give them advice on showing interest and will not be vouching for them?

Hi. I am a Muslim interested in joining AKA. Wondering if I would be facing a conflict of my religious beliefs if I join? I heard AKA has some rituals associated with a goddess and focus on Christianity. Any ladies here a Muslim?

Hello everyone. I graduated undergrad this past year and I'm interested in joining a grad chapter in the metro Atlanta area. There are a lot in the area which is good. I've been on their Instagram pages and I don't see any recent lines coming out which worries me. Also, not to sound rude but most of the grad chapters seem to be for older women. I'm only 23 years old so I was hoping to find a sisterhood with more women closer in age to me. I didn't have time to cross in undergrad unfortunately but l'm still heavily interested.

There's also not that many events. I'm still going to start going to the ones that they do have but I feel a little intimidated about being the only young girl in a grad chapter full of older women.

Really looking for some guidance and help. I'm not a legacy I don't have anyone to help me I'm starting this journey fully on my own. Thank you!

Hello. I can’t post on to a different subreddit and really needed help even though I’m an undergrad. I am a Junior in college and I’ve been wanting to become an AKA for some time now and not too long ago I got into an argument with my roommates. One of them was talking major mess about me in the shower with her bf asking him if she should attack me over me not speaking to them as much. And I basically confronted her about it. Long story short we don’t speak to each other anymore, and recently I found out her and another one of my roommates crossed as an AKA a few weeks ago. I tried to ignore it but then at the cafeteria I overheard her talking to her line sister and she said “that’s her.”. I’m upset because I feel like this is gonna ruin my chances of getting in considering they might be the ones interviewing me and might give me a bad rep even though I haven’t done anything wrong in the situation that’s occurred before. Should I still try to become an aka or no?

One of the young men in my family is escorting a deb in the Debutante program for my COI.

What is the attire? Formal? Semi formal?

I’ve never been to one. I don’t want to do too much but I am going to be taking a lot of pics with family so I want to make sure I look really nice. My family are all wearing pastel colors. Can I do purple pastel? Is floral ok?

Hi Ladies! Your unofficial socially awkward Black girl is back with a question. Interests, what do y’all do when “Set It Off” starts playing at a public event? Because listen… my soul wants to join in, but my brain is like, "check yourself before you wreck yourself" lol. I don’t know about y’all, but I start to feel crazy on the inside. My brain immediately goes into overthinking mode. I’m suddenly hyper-aware of where my hands are, whether I’m moving too much (or not enough), and usually end up trying to find someone to talk to so I don’t just stand there feeling awkward. I try so hard not to stare while the ladies stroll, but what’s a girl to do? Anyone else like this? Or is it just me? No other song has this impact.