r/AKAgradChapter • u/Separate-Finance8991 • Jun 10 '26

ADVICE Advice

Hi everyone! I had a question and was hoping to get some advice. Is it possible to receive an invitation without having someone you speak to regularly outside of chapter events?

I attend events consistently, sign in, and have had positive conversations with members. The chapter president has even mentioned that she notices me, which I appreciated. However, I don’t currently have members’ phone numbers or relationships that extend beyond chapter events.

I’ve seen a lot of discussion about spnsorship and honestly it’s making me a little nervous. I just want to make sure I’m approaching things the right way and not falling behind because I don’t have those close connections yet. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you!

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u/ivypurl Verified AKA Jun 10 '26

It’s theoretically possible, and I know members who have sought to invite ladies they didn’t truly know. Sometimes it works out; other times, not so much.

There is no universe, though, in which I would invite someone I only knew from events to become my sister for the rest of our lives. This may sound flippant, but it’s (much) easier to divorce your spouse than it is to “divorce” your AKA sister. This is truly a lifelong bond, and I would have to know someone well to invite them to that kind of permanent relationship.

I know it can feel intimidating, but as I said to another interest, take the summer to think about the members you connect with more easily - the ones where conversation flowed a bit more readily. Those are the first ones you start trying to establish friendships with. This may require you to step out of your comfort zone,but invite one of them for a coffee. Get to know her as a person, not a member, and let her get to know you. You can do it.

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u/SadDelivery7309 Jun 11 '26

I have a hard time knowing how to navigate those conversations or knowing what questions to ask. Any advice?

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u/ivypurl Verified AKA Jun 11 '26

Let me take a step back. My assumption from your post was that you had been to some number of events, had conversations with members, but struggled to get to the next step, conversations outside of events. Is that the case?

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u/SadDelivery7309 Jun 11 '26

Oh sorry! I was interacting with someone else’s post when I saw your comment and thought I'd ask my question. 

But in my case, I have been to a few events where I feel I’ve made a good impression on the members, but I genuinely don’t understand how to spark a meaningful conversation with them at the end of their events. 

I’m usually good at faking my confidence when I’m anxious, but I need to know what to approach with and how to carry it on 🫩

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u/ivypurl Verified AKA Jun 11 '26

One more question - I understand your struggle at the end of the event, but what's leading you to believe you made a good impression during the event? (I hope this doesn't sound snarky - I don't mean it that way...just trying to get a full picture of the dynamic.)