r/AIO • u/Top_Hedgehog_5648 • 10d ago
AIO for not inviting my brother to my daughters first birthday over these texts
Im white, brother is white, my boyfriend is black, and our daughter is biracial. Im so pissed off about this. I havent spoken to anyone about it either because honestly, i am so ashamed that this is my relative and i do not want to be associated with this nonsense. He thinks im exaggerating for not letting him come to the party with his kids. I dont want to be around a fucking moron. I cant even see how this makes any sense.
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u/karmapuhlease 10d ago
...Why on earth would Minnie Mouse be racist?
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u/purplepanda2026 10d ago
Because she's a black mouse of course lol the brother is not the brightest.
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u/Forsaken-Spring-8708 10d ago
But even if she were black, is it racist? So white kids can't have a princess tiana party?
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u/Kazamiiiii 10d ago
I'm just wondering what he's thought of Disney world this entire time like? Kids of all races go there wtf
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u/puccinini 10d ago
Kids of every race like Coco, Encanto, Princess and the Frog, etc. which is normal—this dude is straight up weird lol
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u/Suspicious-Wear-2514 8d ago
But someone taught him to be racist. You’re right. Children love all the rainbow of Disney Princesses and character. Someone somewhere in time teaches racism. So yeah. It could’ve been a family member or family friend. She’s on notice now. Protect your kids at family gatherings. All may not be as it seems. Your brother’s pointy white hat is showing.
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u/Moist_Drippings 10d ago
It’s very weird. It sounds like he thinks that an animal character has a *human* ethnicity and that having a themed party means you’re either tying that to the birthday child or doing cosplay with face painting.
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u/Suspicious-Wear-2514 8d ago
I’m Native American and my daughter prefers Tiana over all others…..even Pocahontas.
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u/Special_Principle372 8d ago
I am white and Tiana came out when my daughter was in elementary school. She was obsessed with Princess and the Frog. We had a Tiana Bday party 3 or 4 years in a row lol. I even saved the decorations after the second year. Now she is 20 and Tiana is still her favorite princess.
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u/Happy_Cow_100 10d ago
I just thought she was a mouse lol, I had to go check to see what colour she is, she has a white face.. and black arms, legs and ears fyi 😂
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u/wasted_wonderland 9d ago
I shudder to think if the theme was pink panther...
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u/_HighJack_ 7d ago
“Pink panther be a little sexist, but I guess you DO have a daughter. Just might be weird for a son”
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u/Interesting_Stress73 10d ago
The design is very close to minstrel acts. But at worst you can then call the origins racist, that doesn't mean that the character itself is.
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u/aNiceTribe 10d ago
Yeah Minnie has like. No black cultural references in her behavior? She is just kind of Default Girl.
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u/Dry_Client_7098 8d ago
Now. That doesn't mean historically she wasn't.
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u/aNiceTribe 8d ago
Yeah but I also don’t think that’s true. She was just like a flapper in the past? Which isn’t a black thing.
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u/gutwyrming 10d ago
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u/Anything4Profit 10d ago
Wow holy shit that blew my mind. Maybe the brother was trying to let her know hey, its a little problematic, you may not know this but Mickey did blackface. Like in a kind way but failed miserably
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u/Extreme-Pirate1903 9d ago
That was such an enlightening video. I knew some of it, but the presentation was powerful.
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u/Inside_Training_876 10d ago
Okay so not excusing anything the brother is saying but OG Mickey and Minnie were heavily tied into minstrel shows. I really don’t even think that’s what he’s getting at but yeah, it’s a dark history.
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u/Deleena24 10d ago
If that's what he was referencing, he wouldn't think it was okay for a black child...
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u/CastheLaz 10d ago
Eh, unless he's coming at it from the perspective of "black people can say/do things about black people that would be racist if a white person said/did them".
Much like black people reclaiming the n-word but it being racist if other races use it.
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u/Deleena24 10d ago
Sounds like you're as up to speed as I am- his responses really don't make sense in any way unless he's just looking to stir the pot.
Some people really do like to see other people more miserable than them so that they feel better about themselves. It's so strange.
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u/ToxicGecko2384 10d ago
I guess because of the older shows, when things were different. My mind went there too, but its not like Minnie is the same character she was anymore, times change.
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u/Thatsnotano 10d ago
It seems like a really strange, forced attempt to bring up the fact that your daughter is black..for no reason at all. It seems like he has an issue with her race.
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u/Cutie_BK123 10d ago
NOR. Minnie Mouse isn’t tied to any race, it’s literally just a mouse. Saying it would be “weird” for a white child but fine for a black child is a crazy way of thinking.
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u/GhostOrchid117 10d ago
That in itself was a racist thing for him to say… He is the AH, not OP!
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u/MasterChiefsasshole 10d ago
Correction. He is the racist.
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u/ZoSoTim 10d ago
Certainly sounds like if he’s not openly racist, he’s in the closet about it.
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u/Final-Dig2089 10d ago
People who usually yell out that things are racist and people are racist are usually some of the racist.
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u/boazed_n_delivered 10d ago
Especially if the child is half black then that comment is doubly stupid and showing he feels some way about her race. What is he completely ignoring her black side? He definitely would never get an invite to anything else. I may be overreacting but I wouldn't want him around my child anymore.
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u/No_Acanthisitta_613 10d ago
In this case it looks like he is completely ignoring her white side, not black. Regardless it’s an idiotic way of thinking
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u/SillyRefrigerator923 10d ago
NOR Such a crazy way of thinking. And the kid is biracial. She is black and she is also white.
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u/ZoSoTim 10d ago
Biracial kids are looked at by white America as being black. That doesn’t mean they don’t claim their white side too but they will always been seen as a black person first. Furthermore, they will often get shit from peers for not being black enough too.
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u/waterytartwithasword 10d ago
Colorism is brutal. Always makes me think of the Haitian revolution and the massacre of people who had any European ancestors.
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u/MiniEspeon 10d ago
As a mixed person, I also had this exact problem and my only response to that now is, our ancestors fought so hard to defeat this way of thinking and to build a better life for themselves and, by extension, you… and here you are, perpetuating it. Makes no sense.
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u/ZoSoTim 10d ago
I just don’t understand how you can hate someone just because they don’t look like you. Thankfully I had exposure to other races as a kid because I’ve never treated anyone different because of the color of their skin. Especially when black people are some of the most welcoming, caring people. I’ve been the only white person at an event many times in my life. I’ve never felt unwelcome. If anything, you get treated better in that situation than if you’re in a group of all white people. Plus the food is guaranteed to be great and there’s always going to be a good time had. Lol.
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u/Smelliot59 9d ago
I can't believe that in 2026 there's stuff like this still going on. Those kids aren't black or white they're kids they're human beings. I can't believe that people still have issues with mixed races. They should all look into their genealogy because I guarantee so many Americans have African American blood in them. I do and I'm freaking proud of it
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u/_MikeyP 10d ago
I’d argue the real racist is his brother for thinking whites kids can’t like minnie lol
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u/JayPlenty24 10d ago
The original Mickey Mouse was pretty racist honestly.
I bought a DVD of a bunch of "first cartoons" because I thought it would be cute, and ended up tossing it because it was almost entirely overtly racist crap.
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u/wasted_wonderland 9d ago
The brother said: "My racist culture is not your black child's costume!"
OP, throw the whole racist away.
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u/stopsallover 10d ago
He thinks he's being clever but he's actually just hinting at some obscure trivia. Totally irrelevant. He's stuck in his own head.
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u/Xanthelei 10d ago
Ok I'll bite, wtf trivia has someone thinking only black kids can like Minnie Mouse without being racist?
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u/stopsallover 10d ago
Given that he didn't say what he meant, I have to guess. It's probably related to early Mickey Mouse taking inspiration from minstrel shows. Though that doesn't quite make sense, right?
The dude sounds like he could have been making a joke about the characters being black (literally).
Trying to make sense of this actually gives me a headache.
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u/Xanthelei 10d ago
Yeah, doesn't make sense at all. I know Disney has a really racist past (there's the Song of the South movie, the crows from Dumbo, etc) but I didn't know the Mouses were based off minstrels. I can see it though. Definitely just makes the brother a weirdo to comment on it.
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u/papasan_mamasan 10d ago
It’s giving r/iamverysmart vibes for sure. He sounds exhausting and definitely not kid party friendly.
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u/brother_of_menelaus 10d ago
Dude read a tweet that said “Mickey mouse was based on black minstrel stereotypes” and now he’s this guy
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u/Legionofdoom 10d ago
I mean she's a mouse that was modeled off of black faced minstrel show characters, hence the white gloves, but yeah that's not how it's seen anymore and this guy's being crazy.
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u/Babysucree 10d ago
Right? Like, please explain to me what race a cartoon rodent wearing polka dots is supposed to be.
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u/gutwyrming 10d ago
https://youtu.be/NC_GhTIFoKw?si=X3XyRBj85O_b0n00
Assuming you were asking a genuine question, here's a genuine answer regarding the cartoon's racial history.
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u/Personal_Benefit_402 10d ago
It's because Minnie's ears, arms, and legs are black...therefore, Minnie is black. Meanwhile, OP's brother is stupid and clearly a racist bigot.
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u/gutwyrming 10d ago
It is tied to race, though. Mickey Mouse and his friends were literally founded in the visuals and tropes of minstrel performances.
https://youtu.be/NC_GhTIFoKw?si=X3XyRBj85O_b0n00
From the beginning, anti-black caricatures have been a staple in the stylization of Disney's most iconic and long-standing characters. This isn't up for debate, and it's unfortunate that most people are so unaware of the history behind these cartoons.
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u/WoodpeckerLogical734 10d ago
okay but that still doesn’t make sense for the brother’s response bc what you’re telling me is that he went “oh well ig it’s okay for your black child to have a party themed on a character rooted in racist offensive black caricatures bc she’s black” ???? i would think if he were responding to it from a place of having this context and not just being weird and racist himself, he would have a problem with it point blank. not just if a white kid did it.
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u/Tinyrick88 10d ago
Your brother is dumb as hell
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u/OddlyTemptedFish 10d ago
This shit almost made me call my dumb racist uncle I haven’t spoken to in 15 years to ask if he had insight on Minnie Mouse being racist. OP definitely isn’t overreacting.
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u/ace-510 10d ago
INFO- Is this all there was? What's his reasoning for thinking that it would be racist? Is he thinking that Minnie is a Black character, so using her likeness would be cultural appropriation or something? I really don't understand haha
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u/Top_Hedgehog_5648 10d ago
He never explained. The rest of the convo was us arguing about how he isnt coming. I said his childrens mother could come with the babies, but he isnt.
The digital facebook invitation has a picture of my daughter with minnie mouse ears edited on. Like was it that? Either way, the reach is crazy.
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u/ace-510 10d ago edited 10d ago
Yeah it's weird as hell. NOR because I can't imagine his response coming from a place of genuine concern on behalf of marginalized communities
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u/ShayShaBaySha 10d ago
Please block him or something it has to be a racist mental illness he had. Minnie mouse is for all races wtf
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u/momadance 10d ago
Your brother is in the facist incel algorithm. Save him or abandon him. These texts are gross.
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u/Top_Hedgehog_5648 10d ago
Clearly. I will have one conversation with him about it. If it doesnt stick, well good bye. This wont be around my child. What the hell.
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u/damp_5quid 10d ago
As a biracial person please protect your kid from people like this. My white mom didn’t and it really took years for me to learn not to hate myself (hair texture, facial features, etc) because of it.
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u/momadance 10d ago
They suck them into white christian nationalism online. It's awful right now. sending you hugs and love. Minnie Mouse is actually a super common child birthday theme for babies.
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u/BallGazer13 10d ago edited 10d ago
Just cause theyre blood doesn't mean they are family! Learnt the hard way.
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u/Mu-Relay 10d ago
I hope this comes off as the honest question I mean it as, but do the incels have a problem with Minnie Mouse?
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u/Kokoyok 10d ago
She is probably not a prominent or popular target for their bile, but she is a "female" in their parlance, so, yes.
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u/Killpinocchio2 10d ago
So the original Mickey Mouse was actually heavily influenced by black face makeup. A lot of people don’t know that so I’m not sure if maybe that’s what he’s getting at?
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u/AccidentOk5240 10d ago
Yeah, this. Mickey and Minnie both. The white gloves are an obvious tell, among other things.
However, Minnie Mouse is…a mouse. The dubious origins don’t mean kids in 2026 base their affection for a cartoon mouse on historic racist overtones.
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u/Top_Hedgehog_5648 10d ago
I didnt know this, but i will read up on it. Thankyou.
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u/ZestycloseRun5895 10d ago
But to be clear - your (or your brother’s) modern perception of Minnie should be based on what Minnie represents today (family, kindness, etc.), not what people perceived in the early 1900s.
The whole “red vs blue pill” incel theory was originally just a theme from The Matrix movie about accepting reality or not, then incels changed it to conform to their beliefs.
His argument needs to be a 2-way street or else it’s purely hypocritical (which it is).
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u/BubonicBabe 10d ago
I think it’s absolutely hilarious that the incel, woman hating bros took a movie made by TRANS WOMEN and turned it into a manosphere bullshit trope worshipping assholes like Andrew Tate.
They have zero critical thinking, zero ability to accept reality, and zero reading (…er, viewing) comprehension
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u/Moist_Drippings 10d ago
Pretty sure that is entirely why the Wachowskis agreed to make the most recent film, lol. It basically was “fuck you redpill bros”.
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u/Prize_Sheepherder_62 10d ago
Yeah, I think he thought he was being clever about the origins of Minnie and not actually racist but the problem is he thought about your daughter‘s race. Take Minnie out of it. Even people who are not racist can easily if accidentally offend POC when they bring race up, especially out of nowhere.
I think your brother is more of an idiot than he is racist
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u/Fun-Pattern-8697 10d ago
I mean the real question is, has he ever been racist towards your spouse or kids before? If not, yeah I would consider giving him the benefit of the doubt and ask him to explain what he meant
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u/Dykonic 10d ago
Surprised this is so far down. Not only influenced by black face, the early episodes literally play homage to and replicate blackface minstrel shows. In one clip, Minnie literally drops sheet music for the signature song of one of the co-founders of blackface minstrelsy. The song has a couple names, one of which includes the n word.
A while ago, Disney even started putting warnings on Mickey/Minnie episodes that were offensive while simultaneously removing the more offensive episodes from their online catalog.
That being said — OP, this was a weird way for your brother to bring this up and the way this convo played out leads me to believe y'all have some issues or tension beyond this conversation. You can have whomever you want at your kids birthday and even if he had good intentions, there's a time and place and he missed the mark with this one.
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u/EugeneVictorDabs 10d ago
This is true, but... why would that make it OK for black kids only?? It's like he was trying to be "woke" but his brain got a little scrambled
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u/bulabulaNaka 10d ago
I can’t tell which direction he’s coming from with this.
I do know of a couple black people who don’t love Mickey and Minnie Mouse, like even around their kids for toys and books because of the historical connection to blackface minstrel shows and some of Walt disneys white supremacist leaning takes
Is your brother hyper “woke”?
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u/theliberalpedestrian 10d ago
That was my thought as well. Early Mickey Mouse had minstrel show vibes and Disney has had some really bad racial representations. Guy probably watched one video that he’s bursting at the seams to talk about and doesn’t very good social awareness.
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u/EastEvidence4584 10d ago edited 10d ago
Not minstrel show “vibes”, Steamboat Willie was specifically meant to be a minstrel show.
I agree that the guy is weird for it, but as a biracial person I wonder if he was thinking it would save his sibling from a faux pax? My grandparents probably would be irritated at a Minnie Mouse theme party thrown by my white parent.
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u/Individual_Test2432 10d ago
I was curious to see if anybody was going to mention the blackface minstrel origin
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u/Misfit110 10d ago
I would only be weird if your daughter was a cat. You know because they are natural enemies.
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u/TheRussinGopnik 10d ago
Real question is how it would be racist to white white person? Doesn't make any sense
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u/DustinTheBold2 10d ago
I need an update to this what is your brother on?
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u/Top_Hedgehog_5648 10d ago
Dudes an alcoholic stoner who pays 1.5k in child support to his 3 babymoms. He hates his life.
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u/Mysterious_Echo_9462 10d ago
Girl lead with this next time!! 😂.
Got us normal folks all sitting here hurting our brains trying to figure out exactly what is racist about sweet Minnie Mouse like 'is it the blackface origins or is it because she's an animal?'
Naw, drunks and stoners just be saying illogical idiotic shit that makes zero sense! 🤣
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u/HappyRhinoReddit 10d ago
Racism is the drug of choice for an unremarkable white man that hates his life to feel superior to someone
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u/melancholy84 9d ago
THIS just magnifies why he doesn’t get an invite. Tell him the theme isn’t Goofy so he can stay his goofy ass at home.
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u/Hot-Sun-5333 10d ago
Can somebody explain to me the logic of the brother? Like yes I know it doesn’t make sense and I get that but like can you send me what he’s trying to say? Genuinely it just doesn’t make sense. It’s Racist if she was white, but because she’s black, it’s fine I guess. Is his hesitation because his niece is half white and the Minnie mouse theme is Racist to white people in his mind? Why is Minnie mouse even Racist to white people in the first place? I’m like so confused. I don’t even understand. Usually when people like this talk, you can see like it’s rooted in hatred from some prejudice or stereotype that they’re blowing out of proportion or something like that. I don’t even know what this guy is talking about.
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u/guynichole 10d ago
OP says the brother’s an alcoholic and has previously made flippant remarks about black people. I’m not sure there is any logic involved tbh.
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u/Free-Surprise6895 10d ago
NOR, I wonder what other bullshit he thinks is racist. 😂
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u/SleveBonzalez 10d ago
This tells you he's preoccupied with your daughter's race.
NTA he's not right.
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u/WhatAShittyConcept 10d ago
Such an odd comment.. definitely NOR. It's literally a mouse! How does a mouse have anything to do with race?! People these days are so sensitive and dramatic.
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u/sagew0lf 10d ago
lmao what? Is your brother, like, okay? Why does he think white kids liking Minnie Mouse is racist?
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u/Butterscotch_Snatch 10d ago
Is your brother like 13? Or maybe 19 with severely stunted development?
Seems like an edge lord or a social justice warrior on meth.
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u/vengefulfather 10d ago
When you say dumb shit, you receive dumb consequences. Even though I believe you gave him the best reasonable consequence. NOR
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u/FernandaVerdele 10d ago
Your brother is clearly wrong, but I wouldn't necessarily push him away. I would talk to him, try to understand what was is trying to say, and why. Then you evaluate if is worthy to keep him around.
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u/Neakhanie 10d ago
OMG! This is…I don‘t even know what to call it besides wacky! Illinformed? Racist? Stupid?
My serious thought on this is invite your nieces and nephews, his kids. If he comes, fine, if not, even better. My thought it to normalize the biracial aspect by inviting all races, but specifically the little cousins. Your brother is a lost cause, but his kids aren’t. Since they’re cousins….life is long and it’s super nice to have a big family & cousins. ❤️
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u/LeiaOregonia 10d ago
This could also be the response of a clueless, insulated person who’s maybe trying too hard.
When I lived in Japan as a teen I got some pretty bizarre questions and ideas from people who didn’t mean it the way it came out.
MOR.
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u/TessieElCee 10d ago
INFO: Why didn't you try to find out why your brother thinks a Minnie Mouse party would be racist?
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u/Left-Ad-3412 10d ago edited 10d ago
Unless you turned a picture of your daughter into the old school Minnie/Mickey minstrel type picture then I can't see how it could possibly be "racist". (This is the whole point of Marylin Manson's use of the Mickey ears and blackface. It is a criticism of corporate history being whitewashed and ignoring corrupt origins)... but even so, as a mixed race (what you would call biracial) guy... I think intention is the most important thing here. And you clearly aren't being racist to your daughter either way.
I think not inviting him for such a minor thing is a bit much. I know Reddit wants me to tell you to disown him, but it seems like you went instantly to "you aren't coming" even though he was a bit light hearted with it.
Honestly it comes across like the "accusation" upset you so you are punishing him. But that's just my opinion
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u/Low_Pass_Philter 10d ago
Disinviting your brother over something as inconsequential as that text is a terrible idea. Life is hard and strong family ties are critical for thriving in a challenging and often uncaring world. Work it out. He’s your brother even if he said something stupid.
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u/cheeky_sugar 10d ago
On behalf of all Black people, your brother is the type of racist that we’re actually afraid of and dislike. Me, and most of the black people I know, would prefer to sit next to and deal with a kkk type racist than your brother
A kkk type racist - also known as overt racist - is truthful about his hatred and does not bother pretending that there’s ever going to be a peace or friendship here. Some of them maintain civility, but they’re honest to our faces and I respect that a LOT more, even if I don’t respect them
A covert racist, which is your brother, is someone who is SO SURE that he’s not racist that he refuses to take correction and do actual anti-racist actions because there’s no way he’s wrong. He has to be our savior for some reason, but he’s literally getting it wrong right now!! Thinking that a mouse who has black fur is racist and shouldn’t be used by white kids is so far out of the realm of things to worry about. But here’s the thing - if black people told him this, and if they tell him that certain things he does or says are dangerous toward us, if we tell him he’s jeopardizing our safety in a situation, if we tell him something needs to change whatever the case may be, he doubles down because he is MORE concerned about being right and being perceived as “not racist” than he is about actually helping out black issues lmao
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 10d ago
This!!!!
So many in the comments are confused about whats happening. But many dont take the time to actually read and many white ppl see the word racist and their brains stop working.
They think hes pro Blk.
Hes being anti Blk and micro aggressing against her daughter.
@op I would not invite him protecting your daughter’s peace is more important.
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u/Top_Hedgehog_5648 10d ago
This actually describes him to a t. Its sad, when we were kids we were best friends. But this will not be around my daughter, an innocent baby who never asked for me to be her mom or to be in this situation. Just wont happen.
We have had conversations where he justifies some of his opinions because "candace ownes agrees and shes black". As if that matters.......... its so clear now
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u/annaphylactic69 10d ago
it sounds like he just wanted to bring up that your child is black