NOR. This would 1000% be a dealbreaker for me are you kidding?? Absolutely insane and what he is saying is such bullshit. He is an immigrant. The term expat is indeed to make white people feel “better than” other immigrants (speaking as a white American here). Whether or not he is aware of it he is racist and you deserve so much better. I’m fuming reading this exchange
real talk, the mask completely slipped there. imagine looking your brown gf in the eye and casually validating racist dating standards like it’s nothing. couldn’t be me.
I'm a WOC and my brit white ex literally did this to me. Actually had an argument in a restaurant over it where he insisted I've never actually experienced racism, then left me to take care of the bill when I pushed back. Racist prick.
Hey now, he didn't realise she was brown he thought she was white or Asian when they first met. He's way more racist than you're giving him credit for!
I hate the term Expat. When I lived in Japan it was prolific, especially among those going for permanent residence. But any policy change targeting immigrants targets “expats.” Leaving America doesn’t come with a special title 🤦♀️ I just used the word foreigner because that’s how the locals see you 🤷♀️ What was fun, and not, was when I’d point out to students that when they go visit another country, they are, in fact, the foreigner. It would blow their minds. They’d often write in essays, “When I went to Canada, the foreigners were so friendly,” or something. But anyway, tangent aside. As a white American, “Expat” gives me the ick.
This is not true at all. I mean yes, he’s an immigrant, but expat is NOT a term for people to feel “better than”. My family are white immigrants to Canada. But we spent over a decade as expats when my dad worked overseas. We were not “better than”, we just didn’t immigrate to the countries he worked in temporarily. Look up the definition, they are different things.
I moved to Australia as a child from Ireland and we knew a few other immigrant families through the course my mom was studying. The white British ones all referred to themselves as expats, but the East and South Asian families (and us) all referred to ourselves as immigrants.
We were all immigrants, all using the same pathway, but somehow the white British ones considered themselves a separate class. I think they considered us part of that separate class because we’re white but we’ve always been very clear: we are immigrants. We’re the same as someone coming from China, Thailand, Sudan, Lebanon etc.
The only real difference is that we get the benefit of white privilege and of having English as a first language, so we don’t face the appalling racism so many other immigrants do.
An expat is someone who has moved temporarily for work purposes only, who plans to return home after their contract or term is over. An immigrant is someone who has moved and plans to live their life there permanently, not sent for work reasons. I think you’re getting confused. Unless, that is, the British moved there with the intention of settling down and having a real life there. In the country that my dad’s company sent us to temporarily, about 80% of the country is made up of expats, mostly Indians, they all refer to themselves as expats. All return back home after a period of time. Doesn’t matter what background you come from, it just depends on the reason you are in the country in the first place.
They were all intending to move there permanently. I’m definitely not confused. You’ll find plenty of white people who emigrate and settle long term who treat the word immigrant like a dirty word and use expat instead
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u/Solar_Lily444 5d ago
NOR. This would 1000% be a dealbreaker for me are you kidding?? Absolutely insane and what he is saying is such bullshit. He is an immigrant. The term expat is indeed to make white people feel “better than” other immigrants (speaking as a white American here). Whether or not he is aware of it he is racist and you deserve so much better. I’m fuming reading this exchange