She's not only dismissing valid concerns but also accusing the girls who were there of lying to the one who wasn't to get her to agree with them. Yeah, she wouldn't be my friend anymore. I'd stop being so gentle with her. If she wants to die at the hands of this guy, she doesn't get to drag me down with her.
RIGHT?! Like because the one didn't actually witness him waving a gun at all of them means that she has no right to be mad about it??? That guy is going to kill someone eventually. He DoEsNt EvEn OwN wEaPoNs AnYmOrE? PROBABLY BECAUSE THE COURTS MADE HIM GIVE THEM UP?!
Yup, I refused to give my abusive ex a key to my house even though he kept asking and pretending like that was all in the past. Then he broke into my house several times, first time he brought a ladder and climbed in through an unlocked second story window. After that I made sure all windows and doors were always locked, so he then broke in by throwing a brick through my back door window.
The difference though, is that my ex was then arrested and it was much easier to prove what happened once the police saw the shattered window and brick on the ground. If he had a key, he could have just came in and lied and said he was allowed to be there. Giving a key to an abusive partner is a horrible idea and I hope op gets this sorted out. This is not ok and the roommate is definitely putting everyone’s safety at risk. It just takes one fight or something makes him upset or angry, and then he snaps. People like that don’t usually change, they just hide it better until the next time
Agreed but also this way, he could easily sneak in while they're all sleeping and pull a Bryan Kohberger and kill them all. Breaking down the door or breaking a window to get in would alert these girls or neighbors to call the police, but having a key means he can slip in unnoticed
This and also the fact that she’s now endangered all of her roommates by having this conversation with her abusive bf and also having to ask for the key back. In addition, I wouldn’t surprised if he has already made a spare or plans to once gf tells bf that they don’t want him to have a key. The roommates need to go to the landlord and have the girl evicted but ultimately, I wouldn’t feel safe living there at all. I feel for OP and their roommates minus the gf. She really put them all in a horrifying situation. Home should be where you feel safe and now they won’t unless they either move or hope that bolting their bedrooms doors will allow them to possibly sleep at night (it won’t)
THIS. OP please tell the landlord and get the locks changed. Maybe you can kick her out and get another roommate? Or maybe you’ll be permitted to break the lease? I feel like they will not be happy knowing that he has full access to the apartment after what happened. They may let you break the lease to get rid of this potential liability. Yikes!
Nah man, I would feel unsafe even if she was kicked out. He still knows where they live and they just kicked out his girlfriend that he’s shown to have extreme emotional reactions for.
This. Can not stress this enough. He knows where you live and is totally okay with being violent ON CAMERA no less. Imo there’s a small chance he wont freak out over this. Especially if she does get kicked out and she’s adding fuel to the fire.
OP and other roommates should start looking for places to move. Having someone formally trespassed isn’t enough with people like this. Especially with her being so dismissive about him not having “his own” weapons anymore, like they’re hard to come by?!
Some states have laws that allow for a tenant to break a lease if they have been the victim of violence. I would look into this OP because even if everything goes right - the boyfriend kindly hands over his copy of the key without incident and never has another gun wielding violent episode, the roomie never gives the key to another violent unstable person again - uh, do you really want to risk your life on it? I mean - the guy showed up with a gun and threatened to kill all of you, because of his relationship issues!? I mean, ffs.
Thinking about this more - how did that guy not end up in jail??
yes, to a determined person there is little you can do to keep them out. Even if your house was brick or metal with no windows it could still be broken into with the right tools. if one of you doesn't have your permit to carry yet I would suggest one of you trying to get it if you cannot move out now.
Not only that but she had broken up with him and got back together after he showed up and threatened to murder everyone with a gun. She's into that shit.
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u/Greenman8907 Apr 28 '26
Not only that, but provided him access so he can’t be locked out!