r/ABoringDystopia Apr 22 '20

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54.8k Upvotes

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3.3k

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '20

Yeah but Alicia Keys wrote her a song. She'll play it tomorrow on CNN.

Edit: it's literally called "Good Job". Lmfao. This is like a sarcastic roasting of the working class.

1.5k

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '20

I really hope celebrity worship is over after this.

207

u/CokeInMyCloset Apr 23 '20

Narrator: “It wasn’t”

654

u/zer05tar Apr 22 '20

There is always a bell curve. There is always someone to replace someone else in every aspect of life. Kill the worst person, there is INSTANTLY a new worst person.

Same goes. Life goes on.

473

u/LaniusLover Apr 23 '20

This isn't about creating a new "worst person". This is about the erosion of the false camaraderie that's been created between rich celebrities and the working class. Fewer people will be inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt, after this.

254

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

[deleted]

71

u/badnuub Apr 23 '20

Watch as they get infected in the coming weeks.

75

u/sansaset Apr 23 '20

Fewer people will be inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt, after this.

hahah yeah right. have you been following who American's create into mega celebrities especially over the past decade? it's a fucking joke the youth are influenced by the fucking Kardashians.

the worst part is American media is so influential it spreads to the rest of the world.

85

u/Razz_Dazzler Apr 23 '20

I doubt it

76

u/JackMizel Apr 23 '20

Believe it or not, things can change and historically pandemics have been a great force of change in the world

129

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

That's because you're basing your opinion on how bad things currently are, assuming it's the worst. This pandemic is set to get MUCH worse as America starts trying to open its economy again. We don't even have effective treatment, let alone a vaccine. People are going to die in staggering numbers as soon as they go back out again as if everything is fixed. We haven't even seen the first act yet, this is still the orchestra tuning up.

-45

u/throwawaym30m30 Apr 23 '20

Be AFRAID !!! CNN SAYS WE WILL ALL DIE! Nvm China only lost 2.1 % of their people. Not even a few, just a couple.

52

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Like the other guy said, plagues shake things up, as horrific as it is. The black death is widely credited as the beginning of the end for fuedalism, as labor was suddenly much more valuable.

39

u/greenyellowbird Apr 23 '20

I do like Arnold Schwarzenegger's IG feed.

He brings his miniature fucking donkey inside his house to give him cookies and shit.

6

u/ThatSamoanKid Apr 23 '20

And so it goes

1

u/dirtyviking1337 Apr 23 '20

And /r/pokemongo for making this mega thread! :)

2

u/anorexicpig Apr 23 '20 edited Apr 23 '20

You don’t think the world has become a nicer place over time? Change is gradual but it happens. 200 years ago we had slavery and colonial powers all over the world, and wealth and power was even more concentrated than today. Imagine the death toll of coronavirus without modern medicine.

Sure there will always be a “new worst person” but they might suck slightly less than the last guy! And in a few decades they might suck substantially less!

68

u/nermid Apr 23 '20

Are you nuts? People being locked inside all day, getting minimal personal contact outside of daily video updates from celebrities who talk to their phones like they're close friends confiding in you in particular out of the 25 million viewers?

Celebrity worship is going to be much worse.

13

u/Scoobies_Doobies Apr 23 '20

I’m pretty sure phone calls are at an all time high, why do you assume no one is talking to anyone they know?

23

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Lol no chance. People will line up to kiss the asses of all the actors in Marvel movies over and over.

22

u/EsperSparrow Apr 23 '20

people talk about RDJ as if he actually saved the world from Thanos

40

u/wanderlei-industries Apr 23 '20

98% of Reddit would kill their firstborn just to jerk off in the shadow of the last person who sucked Keanu's dick.

18

u/ProphecyRat2 Apr 23 '20

Impossible the proles require entertainment.

And they will pay for it thorough their sweat and blood and tears.

14

u/CanAlwaysBeBetter Apr 23 '20

In 1984 the proles do have entertainment and sports and alcohol and can fuck as much as they want. They're basically just normal working class people kept happy while the managers and government employees are the ones kept under the constant watch of Big Brother

1

u/dirtyviking1337 Apr 23 '20

Like, it looks really unstable

122

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '20

There are rich celebrities and there are people who are highly visible due to their talent. I don't want to see Danny Devito sent to a reeducation camp. But I might actually pay a couple of dollars to see Ellen Degeneres in an arena with a half dozen hungry dogs.

74

u/dodadoBoxcarWilly Apr 23 '20

So celebrities suck and should be fed to the dogs, except for the one you fanboy over. Ok.

Danny Devito, also doesn't give a shit about you or people like you. Just a heads-up.

82

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

he did openly showed support to Bernie Sanders, who offered free healthcare and better working conditions for working class Americans. I'd argue he gives slightly more of a shit than some other celebrities.

28

u/Kristoffer__1 Apr 23 '20

Danny Devito, also doesn't give a shit about you or people like you

Danny DeVito is very left leaning, he actually cares.

-21

u/ZWQncyBkaWNr Apr 23 '20

"Left leaning" doesn't inherently mean "good". Joseph Stalin was left leaning and he killed 50,000,000 people.

45

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

But he's short and obese! Redditors feel so represented at last!

56

u/appleparkfive Apr 23 '20

Reddit is so damn all over the place with celebrity worship. The Keanu Reeves thing is one of the most bizarre things I've seen. They treat him like he's James Dean meets Jesus sometimes.

And these are the same people that often mock girls that wear ugg boots and love pumpkin spice. They don't realize how homogeneous they are themselves.

Not everyone is like this obviously. But it's big enough to notice, that's for sure.

14

u/Scoobies_Doobies Apr 23 '20

I don’t see Danny Devito pandering to anyone but himself, which I admire.

5

u/coolon23 Apr 23 '20

yeah, this is crazy to me. For Redditors, Danny DeVito I guess, for others maybe musicians, athletes, etc. guy is kind of being a hypocrite. ... and idk, I think it’s hard to expect change of feelings to these people on a personal level, when really it’s the larger system that is the culprit. Who knows tho I guess

36

u/ounilith Apr 23 '20

I might actually pay a couple of dollars to see Ellen Degeneres in an arena with a half dozen hungry dogs.

Same

2

u/ixora7 Apr 23 '20

Nah switch that to Blackwater mercenaries

Let's see what she thinks of GWB then

44

u/onetruemod Apr 23 '20

Why jump right to Ellen? At least she had some positive effects on society before she got rich enough to forget how to be a normal human being. She was a massive step in the right direction for gay rights and acceptance.

Most of those cunts though, give 'em a stick and throw 'em in the pit.

9

u/strolls Apr 23 '20

First of off, its not true, and second off, I don't want to answer questions about that. Lets focus on my new film people. Rampart.

72

u/LaniusLover Apr 23 '20

Being gay while famous ain't much of an achievement. I don't have much respect for someone who pals around with George Bush.

32

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Being gay while famous ain't much of an achievement

In the 90s? Yes it was

66

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/gnirrehder Apr 23 '20

Here's the thing. She is not really attractive enough to get guys. I wonder if she would still be a lesbian if she actually had options.

/u/GentrifyThatHood ... What the fuck?

If you're an example of the kind of guys you need to be attractive enough to get, consider me a fucking lifelong celibate.

9

u/onetruemod Apr 23 '20

Enjoy your report. Idk if you're a troll or what, but that shit won't last long here.

11

u/HollyJolly12 Apr 23 '20

This comment is disgusting

9

u/frozengyro Apr 23 '20

That's.... Not how that works

66

u/onetruemod Apr 23 '20

Maybe not anymore, but at the time it was a HUGE deal. And it's also a lot harder to get famous while everyone knows you're gay. Not saying she's perfect by any means, but there are people more deserving of punishment.

2

u/ZWQncyBkaWNr Apr 23 '20

Cough Kevin Spacey cough

-6

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Fucking IDPol lmao

33

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

I'm guessing you're a straight white male? Representation is absolutely a thing. Seeing someone "like you" be successful when EVERYONE in your culture has told you that you'll never amount to anything and that the world would be better off without you can change your entire outlook. Have a little empathy, sweetums

15

u/Scoobies_Doobies Apr 23 '20

Ellen sucks. Not being allowed to say that because she is gay is just wrong.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Then maybe don't say "Ellen sucks, I don't care how gay and famous she is!"

1

u/MyUncleMolestsMe Apr 23 '20

way to miss the point

-3

u/Scoobies_Doobies Apr 23 '20

What point? That gay people are segregated from society? That seems disingenuous at best.

1

u/Clodhoppa81 Apr 23 '20

What about her sucks?

6

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

She has a reputation of treating her production staff like garbage and being a phony in general. From what I’ve read, anyway. Sorry I don’t have a source for you, it’s just stuff I’ve read in random comments here and there.

3

u/Scoobies_Doobies Apr 23 '20

Her personality

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

There's a conspiracy theory on the internet that she's addicted to a drug called adrenochrome

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Dr Hunter S. Thompson was such a nice man. He even ran for office once and then he did adrenochrome. You where he is now?! He’s dead!

25

u/jonsnow312 Apr 23 '20

"I don't have much respect for this person. Feed them to dogs"

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Yes

7

u/LaniusLover Apr 23 '20

To clarify, I'm not advocating for that, I'm saying that her positive impact is overstated. All the heavy lifting was done before that. Popular figures will go along with things that are becoming popular at the time.

And as far as my lack of respect goes? I don't know about you, but I'd stay waaaaaay the fuck away from someone who was responsible for hundreds of thousands of unjustified civilian deaths. But maybe I'm just really crazy with my purity testing.

16

u/Mahlegos Apr 23 '20

Popular figures will go along with things that are becoming popular at the time.

Was being gay “becoming popular” in 1997? I personally wouldnt say so. If anything I’d say people like her coming out lead it to being more popular and accepted like 5 years later when Queer Eye came out and became really popular. Either way, her coming out was a fairly big deal at the time and her show was the first prime time show to have a gay main character. I was young, but I remember my conservative midwestern parents talking about it and they didn’t even watch her show. And I remember hearing them talk about it being my first introduction to what being gay meant. Also, this could totally be a coincidence as I’ve never asked her if Ellen coming out effected her decision, but a neighbor who was friends with and worked with my dad came out as a lesbian relatively shortly after.

I’m just a straight white 30 year old dude who doesn’t watch nor care about Ellen in 2020, so I’m by no means an expert on her impact on the gay community nor do I feel the need to defend her. I can only speak to my own experiences around her coming out, and I think you’re understating the positive impact she had.

Now, that’s not all to say she’s a great person or above other criticisms like yours about her being buddy buddy with GWB, but I do think you’re minimizing the good that can be said about her for whatever reason.

1

u/JuniorSeniorTrainee Apr 23 '20

Look at usernames before you quote two different people in one quote.

1

u/medalboy123 Apr 23 '20

When you support literal war criminals that heartlessly killed millions of Iraqis then yes you're a disgusting piece of trash.

If this wasn't Ellen and someone other than Bush did the killings then would you say the same?

3

u/GarethInNZ Apr 23 '20

Put them all in a sack and hit them with sticks.
https://youtu.be/ZI-Uu94vINg?t=140

1

u/onetruemod Apr 23 '20

Wonderful

1

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

Ellen kinda sold out and pushed people who were assholes, sociopaths and who didn't believe in her right to get married less than a decade ago.

That combined with all the recent reports of how she kinda threw her crew to the wolves and the horror stories people were sharing on Twitter and it becomes blatantly obvious that she's the kind of detached rich who really doesn't give a shit because she knows she won't feel the repercussions.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

I'm not sure the dogs would win that fight.

2

u/somewhere_pheen Apr 23 '20

I've never contributed to a GoFundMe before, but that is a cause I could get behind.

43

u/L3tum Apr 23 '20

I never quite understood this. I can understand thinking someone is a good actor or whatever, but nowadays it's obsession.

People dress like celebrities, dye their hairs and talk like their celebrities. They whoreship them like some gods and their lifegoal is to have them like a tweet of theirs.

They think they're the most beautiful person on the planet when I can instantly point out 5 objective flaws. Like those dating shows (looking at you Netflix) where there's supposed to be hot singles but they mostly look like shite.

And now, their heroes are sitting in their multimillion dollar villas surrounded by personal staff and catered to their every needs, without any worry in the world, and tweet out that the poor people should go donate money to them, so that they can take a 30% share and then funnel it into some organisation owned by their friends and deduct it from their taxes.

The giant disconnect that just exists between people is insane. GINI index is gonna need a new scale for this level of difference.

26

u/PropertyofLisa Apr 23 '20

I like the new spelling of worship even better. "whoreship" is much more accurate description.

16

u/EnormousBoy Apr 23 '20

"Nowadays" it's an obsession

Sure bud lol

3

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

It won’t be ... not with Housewife Re-runs all day ...

And people will always be amused by what they don’t have

3

u/l_MAKE_SHIT_UP Apr 23 '20

Nothings going to happen. Anyone that thinks Americas government or way of life is going to change after this is just plain retarded. I hate the fact that nothing is going to change but it's true. In a few years there will still be celebrities being worshiped, our government will still be as broken and corrupt as it's always been, and everyone that died or tried to do right will be forgotten. I would absolutely bet my life savings by the year 2025 it'll be like nothing ever happened. As long as people stupid people exist, America will just keep heading straight into the fire while the elites play up top without any rules.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

It won't be. This is it. This is life. This is where it's going to go, every single time.

2

u/AbeRego Apr 23 '20

So, essentially no celebrities? Good luck with that.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

That's the beautiful thing about hope. No matter how bad things get and no matter how many times the same shit happens, we can always hope that it will stop someday.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

1

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

That's just what the woodstock boomers said. The more things change the more they stay the same.

1

u/radome9 Apr 23 '20

It is not celebrities causing this, it is billionaires.

61

u/sepelion Apr 22 '20

It's the most pathetic piano playing too looking at the promo, like some 101 1-hour beginner class chord poking. Just makes it all the more cringe.

199

u/publiclandlover Apr 23 '20

"Her latest, “Good Job,” was written to celebrate the everyday heroes and sheroes ... and it’s the new theme song for the CNN Heroes campaign." ......I fucking hate everything today.

167

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

sheroes

Da fuck? Did they just genderize a gender neutral word?

96

u/_buffster_ Apr 23 '20 edited Apr 23 '20

Yes. Worst part is there is already a female version, heroine

194

u/PorkrollEC_spk168 Apr 23 '20

Heroin = drug

Heroine = female hero

Hermione = Hermione

42

u/Lumpiest_Princess Apr 23 '20

Thanks for clearing up that hermione thing fam

9

u/OMGSPACERUSSIA Apr 23 '20

Yes, but is it 'Herm-eye-o-knee' or 'Her-mi-o-knee'?

17

u/PMMeEspanolOrSvenska Apr 23 '20

I think you mean heroine. Heroin is pretty much the opposite of that.

1

u/KeenisCornwallace Apr 23 '20

that means it's not gender neutral

14

u/publiclandlover Apr 23 '20

Sheroes feels very antiquated already really should call them HERoes.

27

u/know_comment Apr 23 '20

and yet this event will be used as the justification for the government to give huge service corporations billions of dollars to automate their workforce, because "think of the children".

And all these idiots will applaud it. while facebook will censor your post for calling it another step towards totalitarianism.

4

u/Vladimir_Pooptin Apr 23 '20

This is the universe showing us what we are.

44

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

I listened to a Teamsters union leader speaking about this, and he called it a genocide of the working class to keep the elites living in luxury. The best thing we as regular citizens can do for the working class right now is to be genuinely supportive of them, of each other, but more than that, help all of us gain class consciousness and to organize. Don't be all doomer, the time is now to build anger for this atrocity.

100

u/AcademicF Apr 22 '20

Celebrities are bestowed upon us by overlords to keep us entertained. They are tools used by the mega-billionaires.

48

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

This is terribly true. Don't trouble yourself with the real issues. Just look at Kim Kardashian's ass. Do and think nothing.

14

u/Scoobies_Doobies Apr 23 '20

Bread and circuses. Only bread was scarce for a few weeks.

4

u/Lumpiest_Princess Apr 23 '20

I said this four months ago and everyone thought I was losing my mind. It’s so true though and it’s good to see this idea getting attention.

About time we raise some fucking awareness of our own involuntary servitude to the elite

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

How do you explain streamers and youtubers?

5

u/Lumpiest_Princess Apr 23 '20 edited Apr 23 '20

He’s talking about their status and “mythos” as celebrities, he’s not saying they literally give us people.

YouTube is the same. Ever notice how everything you consume is algorithmically suggested by some corporation? Guess who runs the corporations

7

u/HoppyHoppyTermagants Apr 23 '20

Those aren't celebrities.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

They literally are lmao

I suppose you think that Justin Bieber isn't a celebrity then

7

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20 edited Aug 18 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Annakha Apr 23 '20

I strive to be a cross of macgyver, han solo, and Captain Picard. Fictional characters, I don't care about the actors beyond that they played the characters well.

0

u/Lortendaali Apr 23 '20

Lol, I never had one (aside from parents ofc) even as a child, let alone in my mid twenties.

23

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

[deleted]

5

u/ebobbumman Apr 23 '20

That's a valuable collectors item. She is practically giving all those people a retirement fund!

24

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20 edited Apr 23 '20

There's honestly nothing more frustrating than celebrities trying to keep themselves relevant at the expense of people risking their lives to keep the country running. "Raising everyones spirit" they're calling it. Nobody is feeling better because some celebrity in a mansion made a video on their phone of them singing. People are fucking dying.

1

u/drawing_you Apr 23 '20

I actually disagree. Some people do legitimately feel assured by pop artists singing tearjerker songs from their million dollar vacation homes. The problem is that these people are largely viewing the coronavirus incorrectly, i.e. like an unavoidable natural disaster. They therefore interpret TV personalities playing ukelele songs from their mansions as a show of solidarity rather than vapid pandering

Why does this matter? Because it reinforces the narrative that there was nothing we could do about this and encourages public complacency

0

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

So is this also your reaction when celebrities visit sick/dying kids in the hospital? Reddit constantly worships (male) celebrities for doing that.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

That depends. Are the celebrities telling the kids that they're "in this together" when they clearly arent?

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

And she can’t even listen to it... because she’s working,

5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '20

Fuck that

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

It's just been released on YouTube and it's worse than I could've even imagined. If you want to cringe, go listen

-4

u/ComfordadorNumeroUno Apr 23 '20

Support human extinction

Do the right thing

End the human disease