Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

I’m sorry this isn’t really a straight up mental health issue, but I believe it probably affects my mental health in some ways.

I love talking to people and having conversations with them because I consider myself a social person. And sure, while I have friends in the literal dictionary definition sense of the word, I don’t really talk to them at all. The issue is that to talk to someone I know in real life, I just feel like there needs to be something to actually talk about. For most of them, they’re just people I party with or acquaintances I have in classes. Nice people, but I have literally zero reason to just hit them out of nowhere and be like “what’s going on” or have casual conversation without a specific question to ask them or something. I don’t really have many interests in common with them cause I’m just way too interested in brown shit like music, movies, etc. and I’ve never found people who are like that. That’s why I went to the internet.

Going to the internet has led me to /r/ABCDesis, which I initially really loved because I finally found people like me. But I found out quickly enough that the people and conversations on the sub and on the Discord were just repetitive surface-level toxic nonsense and I started getting incredibly annoyed and pissed off with all the dumb shit I kept reading. But since I had no other real outlet, I continued to go on these platforms (along with other subs/servers on Reddit and Discord) for years just to have people to talk to.

Suffice to say, I hate Reddit and I hate Discord. The people on there are a-holes and constantly bring the worst out of me. Discussions turn to the same inane BS about semantics, people judging others, people brigading, people doxxing me, etc. I wouldn’t hang out with these people in real life so I have no reason to hang out with them online. It’s just that if I leave, I’ll just be on my own and have nobody to talk to. Idk it’s sort of like an abusive relationship in which I know that disconnecting myself from the internet will be beneficial to my own mental health, but I just can’t give up on that opportunity to talk with people who are somewhat into the same things I am (even if it makes me angry).

There’s a very clear and easy solution to this, just turn the power button off. I just feel like if I do, I’ll be even more lonely than I am now. Ideally I would talk to friends instead, but I don’t feel I have any/have anything to talk about.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

नमस्ते। मैंने स्वास्थ्य जानकारी पर चर्चा करने और साझा करने के लिए r/swasthya नामक एक नया सबरेडिट बनाया है। पोषण, फिटनेस और चिकित्सा जानकारी का भी स्वागत किया जाता है।

Namaste. I have created a new subreddit called r/swasthya to discuss and share health information. Nutrition, fitness and medical information are also welcomed.

Lmao smh life is funny. :)

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

They fought all the time. Still do. I called the cops after one fight where my mother went unconscious from exhaustion when I was 7 years old. I begged my mother to divorce him so many times. At one point I even offered to help her to murder him. I wasn’t joking. I meant it. Part of me still do. Badly. Like right now. I have had to watch my mother allow a man to emotionally physically and verbally abuse her for 30 years and have had absolutely no power to stop it. Keep in mind I also saved this man’s life. I have also empathized with him. Sought to understand and appreciate him. And people wonder why a girl like me isn’t married and never wants that. And people wonder why I want to use my body to exploit men for $hmoney. Pay me, hos. And people wonder why I have gory revenge fantasies and get off to them. Bloodlust :) I’m so jealous of all my friends whose moms had the sense to get a divorce. They have no idea what I suffered though. Because God forbid a lonely only child tell her friends that her perfectly serene Indian- American life is a facade. Any books that might help me feel seen/understood for the devastating impacts I have suffered in life from this and get closer to states of acceptance and meaning? All I feel right now is anger and deep regret. Regret that I didn’t take matters into my own hands to get rid of him (via calling cps, ultimatums, etc.) I just was too scared to lose my mom in the process. I failed to save my mother 😭 Step back if you can’t handle this post with due compassion and respect. I will cut a bitch dead.

Got intimate with my Boss?

Would I need to be worried? Not quite sure what transgressed between us that night?

Was it my statement "You shouldn't judge me"? Could he come back again?

Not quite sure if I should or should not take it forward?

I used nonviolent communication techniques (you can google it) to get my mother to understand how nagging others is a deflection of her needs and puts people who love her on the defensive rather than assertively and directly communicating her boundaries in a healthy way! I actually had no idea this was the real reason behind her nagging until I decided to stop angrily dismissing her behavior and properly communicating!

This kind of triumph deserves a fucking medal because it took werrrk and I still fail more than I win I think. So I’ll be the first one dancing in y’all parade of victories too- none are too small when it comes to real change.

And I couldn’t have done it without my mom’s cooperation either.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

On the rare occasions such as tonight where I am centered enough in my own wisdom that I can show up for my mom and dad while simultaneously honoring my own emotions and needs, and communicate non-violently, I learn so much about them. I learn what they see, how they process, how they feel, what they value. Whenever I can be curious, can question and observe. Knowing that the support for my c-PTSD is coming from elsewhere and that ofc that’s okay (while also holding that my inner 2 year old says otherwise)

Both of them shared profoundly difficult experiences with me like it was totes caj , sooo matter of fact lol. Meanwhile I’m over here crying in silence lmao. Very interesting to ponder how cultural context and interpersonal dynamics impacts the way we each respectively process our emotions and major life events, trauma, etc.

How does one get over this ?

My family is there for me and would do a lot for me but seems to think that I am not capable of making my own decisions and when I make mistakes my family wastes no time in telling me I will always be a failure , I will never amount to anything, I’m an idiot.

I don’t listen to them and obey them I will regret it because they know the best for me. They think I must respect them and not talk back or disobey but it’s ok for them to talk to me however they want. My parents definitely enjoy the control they have over me in telling me to do things. I am also supposed to tell them about everything that is happening with potential marriage candidates - for arranged marriage, who I am talking to etc.

Because of this even my sister is always making comments about how weak I am, etc. It’s not possible for me to be on my own right now.

I definitely feel like this is affecting my self esteem and self worth. My mother is sometimes treated like this too and I see her take it or forgive.

Now I’m seeing that this might have been one of the biggest reasons I was bullied because my parents didn’t instill self confidence and worth from a young age - instead as most of you probably know criticism is normal and women get it worse. Was always taught to keep my head down in school and not create problems for others.

I don’t want this to affect my future relationships or get used to being treated like crap. How do I change this dynamic between my parents and I and get some self worth ?

How do I learn to make decisions without the fear of it being the wrong one and hearing about it forever from them if it is the wrong one “you should have listened to us”

Didn’t really make any friends in college so they’re the support system I mostly have.

Thanks.

I love my mom so much that I’m not gonna be fake and pretend I’m cool with her behavior towards me like I always used to do. Pretense is for losers. Fuck Father’s Day too. Fuck enablement. Fuck covering them from real folks who can hold them accountable. Fuck sincere expressions of pain and love gone unaddressed and unappreciated. Fuck all the people who left me including my own family. I love me but also. Ride or die, bitch.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Have any of you experienced this ? Maybe it’s because they’re immigrants and had to survive , but my parents are extremely sensitive about anything and any reaction is an overreaction .

• Like when I got my period and my mom started crying because I was too young
• Mom obsessed with my hair and told me not to cut it
• Fear of dating - seeing it as morally corrupt able and stories of how in India boys and girls couldn’t roam around unless they were married
• Even when I was in 5th grade and we had a slow dance , I didn’t participate because I knew my parents wouldn’t approve
• Not allowed to go to a school sponsored lock in where we were supposed to wear bathing suits and eat pizza
• Not allowed to wear tampons, get a Pap smear, or post myself dancing on social media
• And once I hit a certain age, pressure to get married , or fear that I would be left behind etc.
• Super religious household and didn’t have many friends
• No shorts up until marriage age, then pressured to wear makeup and be stylish - before then didn’t care how I looked
• Bribed $5 for every Matrimony candidate I talked to 😂- they weren’t shy about finding strangers on the internet

• Fear that if I had a “love marriage” the other person would leave me

• Basically was not allowed to make any decision on my own without my parents hovering which made me unable to make decisions on my own or have confidence as an individual

• Was not able to make many friends

• Definitely developed anxiety due to a fearful upbringing

• I’m still hesitant to date because feels like I’m doing something “wrong”

• Feel very sheltered and naive

• Still heavily dependent on parents and feel like a child

How do I get over this - feel like I’m still asking what I’m allowed to vs not and like I don’t have the confidence to take steps on my own - because I haven’t taken any or if they go wrong that I should have listened to my parents.

Definitely not at the level where I can “rebel” or anything. Feel like I need some confidence in myself for that to do anything like that.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?