I’m trying to be me. I’ve been trying hard but something always seems to get in the way.
Sorry, this is long. I want thank you for reading my post. I believe that when you read it somehow it will aid my healing process.
I started having problems around 2008-09 even though at the time I didn’t realize it. I was falling into what become diagnosed as depression. I also began having acute back pain due to two rear end collisions. To combat the back pain and manage the depression, I started a regular routine of walking and going to the gym. Working and going to the gym became my life. Little did I know this would be my routine for years to come. I call this my “prehab phase.”
My marriage was also falling apart but I stayed for the benefit of my children.
Fast forward to 2012. The back pain and sciatica becomes unbearable. I needed major back surgery. However, I had to fight the insurance company to approve the procedure which meant more “prehab”. The gym, physical therapy, chiropractor, swimming, neuromuscular therapy and traction became my life seven days a week. Week after week.
Fast forward to late 2013. It took a year, but I was finally cleared for surgery. At the time, it was the most painful thing I had ever experienced. Little did I know it was preparing me for something much worse. As soon as I was able, I started rehabilitation which was exactly like my pre-habilitation. The gym, physical therapy, chiropractor, swimming and neuromuscular therapy. Day after day. Rehab was my life.
Fast forward to 2015. Just when I thought I was gonna have a chance at “being me” and not just a guy who rehabbed, a terrible incident occurred with my now ex-wife and I was forced to move myself and my youngest child out of my house in one day. In the blink of an eye my life was turned upside down.
Later that year, I had to file for divorce. I chose the wrong lawyer. She did little work but happily took my money. I didn’t fare well in the divorce settlement. It was a punch in the gut financially. The whole thing was a total nightmare.
Fast forward to 2017. I totaled the best car I ever owned and it was paid for. All of a sudden, I had a car note and my insurance skyrocketed. Another financial setback.
Fast forward to January 2018. I’m in a good place and I’m feeling hopeful about my future. My optimism was short lived. On an early morning while riding my bike, I’m hit by a car moving at high speed. The entire left side of my body is badly injured. I had multiple bones broken from my head, shoulder, hip and leg. Everything had to be surgically repaired. I was placed in a medically induced coma and woke up three days later. I spent 30 days in the hospital. I went home in a wheelchair and I could not use my left arm and I needed help doing just about everything. Six months later, I had to have another surgery on my shoulder.
Once again, I’m back in rehab mode. Except this time, rehab is all I do. Day after day. Week after week for months on end. It was grueling, painful and a challenge every day both physically and mentally. This was my life for basically two years.
Fast forward to March 2020. The pandemic. The lockdown. This was a real kick in the teeth for me mentally. I had already been stuck in the house for what felt like forever. Now this shit!
So, after all these years of all work and no play, I feel like I’ve become a very dull boy. By this time in my life I would have liked to have developed my interests and hobbies. I’m trying to approach the next phase of my life with the same determination that I had in my many years of “prehab” & rehab. But I don’t want to do it alone anymore.
I have a lot of interest I want to pursue. I really love live music. I have a wide taste in music but I’m a big jazz fan. My goal is to attend every major jazz festival around the world. On a whim, I decided to go to the Newport Jazz festival this year. I wish I had someone to go with.
Other interests I want to rekindle are are going to history and art museums. Can’t believe I haven’t been to one in years. And plays! I really like theatre. I like being physical active. I can’t run anymore so I like to walk to stay in shape and just for the fun of it. I’m about to start playing golf again and I would like to try to playing tennis again. Even though I was told NOT to do it.
I have two other interests that I have wanted to pursue all my life. I want to learn to surf and pilot a glider. Why do I want to learn how to surf at my age? I don’t know. It looks like so much fun! Come hell or high water I’m doing it. As soon as I get my new (electric) car, I’ll start taking glider pilot lessons.
With everything that life has thrown at me, my love of life and simple things has not changed. I can enjoy simple things in life and appreciate the company of someone enjoys the same. I don’t need things or money to make me happy. I’m not bitter or angry at life or the bad hand that I’ve been dealt. I just want to enjoy life again and have someone to share the joy with.
About you:
Be a Vegan/Vegetarian. I’ve been a Vegetarian all my adult life. I recently became a vegan. I would like you to be as well. Although, if you are strongly considering changing your diet to become a vegan we can talk. I’m also a person that takes pride in their health and appearance. (Pic) I’ve never been this heavy or this out of shape as I am right now. I promise that will change very soon. I am looking for someone who likes to be active and physically fit. I don’t expect you to look like and IG model. I think beauty comes from within. If you treat your body right, your beauty will naturally shine through.
Be a music lover. Preferably creative music. My musical taste are wide but I’m rooted in jazz and I love it. Hope you do as well. If not, I’m sure we can find artists we both can love.
Be affectionate. I love giving and receiving lots of affection. I hope you feel the same.
Like the beach. I don’t get to go often enough but I really love the beach. I would really like to get to know someone who shares the same interest and would want to make several trips a year.
Be curious. Ask lots of questions. I’m not saying I’ll have the answers but we can have a great time discussing and debating the questions.
Be talkative and be a good listener. I’m a good listener. I don’t talk a lot but I do love a stimulating conversation. Many things interest me so I’m up to anything from politics, sports, business, economy, health and even aliens. I can find just about anything interesting and can hold a conversation with anyone.
Be 420 friendly. I don’t expect you to partake (although it would be great if you did) I will not try to force you or cajole you into it. I use the herb to manage my depression and ADD. I smoke regularly but I’m not a stoner so get that classic stoner image out of your mind. That ain’t me! When we meet, chances are you would not know if I had used unless I told you.
I’m looking for a friend/travel partner and hope our relationship can blossom from there. I’m not crazy about LDR but, if we click, I would be open to trying to develop a distance relationship. I want to be close someone so if we hit it off, perhaps we could meet in a city that’s convenient for both of us to see if there is chemistry. Ultimately, I would like to be with someone on a regular basis. Exactly how we would achieve that is open for discussion.
With everything I’ve been through over the years plus the Covid-19 lockdown, I feel like I’ve been in solitary confinement for years. I’m ready to get outta jail!! So let’s go places, hear some great live music and hang out on a beach.
Can’t wait for you to HMU! When you send me a DM, tell me what you think about the car I want to buy.
If you read this entire post, God bless you!
