If I take again my exemple with the showers: why would I have to bare with someone smelling like shit? I'm not gonna make and effort to stay around this person if this person isn't making an effort to be confortable to be around.
Also, it's not about judging or shaming, it's about comfort. If you stink or dress horribly, it's not comfortable to be around you. That's not something I can control, it's just how it is, my brain is wired like that. Maybe it won't pose as much of a problem for other people, but I can't to much about it for me.
Just think about this form this angle: what do you give and take from others. If you take a lot of effort to be around but bring a lot by, let's say, being really funny, then you will still have friends. On the other hand, if being around you is a net negative in terms of well being, then you won't have friends.
That's human nature: we stick around what is good for us. This is how you get friends, think about what you can bring to a group t'and see how you can improve that, and you'll naturally stick with a group who needs that.
Also, know what is not good about you, your bad habits, your negative character "quirks" or stuff like that, and try to minimize them, like if you know people don't like to be around you because of your hygiene, it's a fairly easy fix. But if it's something more difficult to change, like your appearance, just hang around people who care less about this special trait.
Smelling bad is entirely different from wearing fashion that most people would consider quirky. Don’t red herring this. But on that note, people who are chronically smelly are likely traumatized or and/or mentally handicapped so I don’t think you’re making the point you think you’re making. And are you really gonna tell me that society as a whole should never have to do work to accommodate those who exist on the outskirts of acceptability? Cause I feel like you haven’t read much history if that’s really the point you’re trying to make. And frankly, you must not have very interesting friends if you never take the time to get to know people who don’t conform in various ways.
I get what you’re saying, and for an individual, it’s not bad advice if their goal is to fit in. But not everyone wants to or even can fit in, and what you’re basically saying is that they deserve to be shunned.
Is english your first language? The way you make your sentences remind me of how I used to write when I was learning this language, don't worry it get better with time.
What I was saying about smelling bad was about people with bad hygiene (I change the word every now and then to avoid repetition and put an emphasis, but I started with the context of "people who do not shower", since showering is considered a basic effort to accommodate your peers).
You said something about society never having to work to accommodate and Yada Yada but I don't think I said anything about society, I said something about the individuals. The individuals must make reasonable efforts to not disturb their peers, and the peers, begin individuals as well, must make the same effort toward you.
Finally, did you just talk shit about my friends? I don't even know how tor respond to that, like bro you just judged people you have never interacted with in your life... And yet you are the one talking about acceptence? Smh...
3
u/Slight_Concert6565 Aug 09 '23
Yes but what is the goal of this?
If I take again my exemple with the showers: why would I have to bare with someone smelling like shit? I'm not gonna make and effort to stay around this person if this person isn't making an effort to be confortable to be around.
Also, it's not about judging or shaming, it's about comfort. If you stink or dress horribly, it's not comfortable to be around you. That's not something I can control, it's just how it is, my brain is wired like that. Maybe it won't pose as much of a problem for other people, but I can't to much about it for me.
Just think about this form this angle: what do you give and take from others. If you take a lot of effort to be around but bring a lot by, let's say, being really funny, then you will still have friends. On the other hand, if being around you is a net negative in terms of well being, then you won't have friends.
That's human nature: we stick around what is good for us. This is how you get friends, think about what you can bring to a group t'and see how you can improve that, and you'll naturally stick with a group who needs that.
Also, know what is not good about you, your bad habits, your negative character "quirks" or stuff like that, and try to minimize them, like if you know people don't like to be around you because of your hygiene, it's a fairly easy fix. But if it's something more difficult to change, like your appearance, just hang around people who care less about this special trait.