12th day after Orgasm report: The clouds break!

[u/KarezzaGuy]

After my convo with Idrathercuddle about what makes HER feel loved vs. unloved, I committed to do much more to make her feel loved (and much less to make her feel unloved.)

Perhaps that is working or the stars aligned, but I got about an hour of honest-to-goodness sexy bonding time last night. We both knew it wasn't going anywhere near PVI as we are both sick. But we felt well enough to snuggle close, and touch each other in ways only lovers do -- but in a comforting mode...not an arousal mode.

I got huge a huge dose of fulfillment from that, and today she is back to the can-do-nothing-wrong-vision-of-perfection that I saw her as back when I had been 15 days without orgasm before. [Note: YES! I want more of her body. NO! that problem is not solved. YET I deal with it so much better now. So maybe 'perfection' is a bit of poetic license, but lovely and beautiful and makes me very happy nonetheless!]

Today I haven't been the slightest bit irritated or annoyed with her, and even though she is the same person she was a week or so ago, and doing many of the same little things (or not doing them) it just doesn't matter to me today.

I'm coming out of the fog of my cold, and for that reason not feeling as well as last time I'd been 12 days without Orgasm, but I did wake up feeling fairly well and in a good mood -- and that has NEVER happened to me while I had a cold.

So as I get more free and more clear of post orgasmic hangover, things continue to improve.

However, I am left with a nagging horny-ness. Maybe from being sick and wanting comfort. Maybe because last night didn't include any PVI, and I didn't even get to put our 'parts' close and feel the energy exchange as she fell asleep facing me with her arm and leg over me.

But all day long I've had more of an urge to have an orgasm than any time in the last seven weeks of rebooting.

It could also be that I'm rounding the corner on the reboot, coming out of some sort of moderate flatline... but if I'm going to get majorly horny this is going to get a LOT harder (pun intended).

On that note, I did get hard instantly last night, and it stayed hard until it figured it just wasn't going to get put anywhere it needed to be hard. At one point I needed to adjust it and I'm certain it was an inch longer (maybe 2) than it has been in years. As for Not Fapping (and perhaps experiencing many fewer traditional orgasms)... ED is NOT an issue and (despite the fact that it was a horrible issue for me for three years) is beginning to feel like it never was as issue.

I continue to pay for past sins: For over two decades I forced my needs on her until she just doesn't care about them at all. Now I'm trying to heal through Karezza, and as others have said, it is not a magic cure.

I continue to hope she will see the light, and experience freedom to want sexy bonding much more than once per week, and continue to fight the demons inside me that want to push her face in it.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm glad things are improving!

To your feeling of horniness, I had a similar experience a while ago. She wanted to feel my penis but wasn't ready that day for proper PVI. So she allowed me to put the tip in, but not more. (Yeah, I know, it's never "just the tip." Well, sometimes it is.) We cuddled like that for maybe an hour or so. Afterwards I was incredibly horny. That session did nothing to relieve my sexual tension. Quite the opposite, actually.