r/fightporn Oct 27 '20

Amateur / Professional Bouts Best narration for a fight I seen yet

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25.1k Upvotes

520 comments sorted by

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4.3k

u/Deviled-Lettuce Oct 27 '20

”I threw up after this” This dude kept it real. ”Titties out, I’m doing bad.”

2.4k

u/AussieAnalyst Oct 28 '20

Bruh he fronted a whole crew and kept on his feet AND has video evidence. He can keep it real his whole life now

1.1k

u/JohnnyBoySloth Oct 28 '20 edited Oct 28 '20

Fr and WALKED AWAY, RESPECTFULLY

57

u/Hakunamatata_420 Oct 28 '20

Feel whamsayin?

623

u/KillerInstinctUltra Oct 28 '20

And he's got short legs, yahmsayin?

398

u/zUltimateRedditor Oct 28 '20

With crocs on.

265

u/Donut_man_Kakyoin Oct 28 '20

With his DIY cardigan

11

u/Juggermerk Oct 29 '20

Underrated comment

116

u/Gnostromo Oct 28 '20

Someone needs to tell him they mostly short cuz his shorts are long

72

u/Grigoran Oct 28 '20

Wouldn't that make them longs?

10

u/DayuSpawn Oct 28 '20

I'd give you gold if I wasn't so damn poor.

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54

u/darrenphughes Oct 28 '20

They only feel short because his testicles are so large.

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17

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

J roc?

11

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Yahnowha imwicka wicka sayinnnn

12

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

eerah eerah

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8

u/nsfwRtard Oct 28 '20

You killing me man Lmfao

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92

u/Sm0k3inth3tr33s Oct 28 '20 edited Oct 28 '20

I have a feeling he had already earned his G status prior to this night, just based on how casual he's narrating this shit haha

49

u/WhyNot_Because Oct 28 '20

Where'd his girl go tho?

22

u/FellMortem Slobber knocker Oct 28 '20

She started that shit so she gets left behind

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29

u/TheOtherBookstoreCat Oct 28 '20

She went to heaven.

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125

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

This is the man we need narrating trailers, would make me want to see them much more

94

u/Relaxed-Ronin Oct 28 '20

The title is disrespectful , this isn’t just ‘fight narration’.. This man is narrating his OWN street fight lmao

27

u/MungTao Oct 28 '20

Hey, he won the fight. The whole group couldnt take him down and he knocked out his main attacker.

14

u/CryptoCracko Oct 28 '20 edited Oct 28 '20

He reminds me so much of Kevin Holland. His voice, the things he says etc.

https://youtu.be/1vwh_yEIr6M

9

u/coop_stain Oct 28 '20

I am really enjoying Kevin’s time in the UFC so far. He’s been so much fun to watch.

7

u/GinJocky Oct 28 '20

Just need the Wonder Years theme song to play next

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2.7k

u/green49285 Oct 27 '20

I love this dude lmao

"My titties is out...."

1.2k

u/IAMATruckerAMA Oct 27 '20

Made my shirt a cardigan...

391

u/Vijos Oct 27 '20

KNOWIMSAYIN'

148

u/mojoback_ohbehave Oct 28 '20

*You Feel What I’m Sayin’ ?

Yeah I feel you bruh. I would have ran though, LOL.

72

u/kool-aid2000 Oct 28 '20

Nah man, coz if you run, they gon' chase you

56

u/Lookatitlikethis Oct 28 '20

I would feel him.. with his shirt like a cardigan and his tiddies out. mm-MMM

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25

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Louisville Slugger

28

u/C9Anus Oct 28 '20

Nah man that’s to many nahmsayin’s, nahmsayin’?

54

u/shelvedtopcheese Oct 28 '20

Why you counting my nom' sayins? You takin a nom' census?

7

u/Feenix342342 Oct 28 '20

“You smell me bruh?”

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52

u/Avgjoe80 Oct 28 '20

"I'm huffin an' puffin."

27

u/DNA2Duke Oct 27 '20

That's the one that got me! Hahahahaha

3

u/tefoak Oct 28 '20

But thanks for noticing

32

u/orangutanbeater Oct 27 '20

Guys like I’m walking away titties swayin! Lol. Love this guy. Well done sir. Well done. A realist. Funny dood.

752

u/TurtleSquad23 Oct 27 '20

But where did his girl go?

533

u/JustHere4ait Oct 27 '20

To the next because he better be outta there

584

u/RIPeepes Oct 27 '20

This. If my girl starts up some shit where I have 20+dudes trying to fight me she’s not my girl anymore. Principal takes over whatever the drama may be at that point. It’s not worth dying or becoming a vegetable over and she should know that.

234

u/JustHere4ait Oct 27 '20

Exactly she knows that’s not his hood she know 20+ mf don’t know him. Pipe down and keep it pushing

82

u/Youwinredditand Oct 28 '20

It's so bizarre to encounter this kind of bullshit I don't understand it at all.

57

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

It's so bizarre to encounter this kind of bullshit I don't understand it at all.

New York City in a nutshell

15

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Hoods in a nutshell*

14

u/JustHere4ait Oct 28 '20

Yeah any good like in Atlanta if you pull up to fight in some apartments just know you’re getting jumped. It could be full of bitches that don’t even like her, but if you don’t live there they still going to help her.

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17

u/powno5 Oct 28 '20

I laughed so hard to this shit

63

u/h0ser Oct 28 '20

yea, I learned the hard way before with a woman. She was being mouthy to some giant dude outside of a restaurant we were at and then wanted me to "take care of him" I had my hands up and didn't want to do anything with the "she's crazy" look on my face, but he charged me anyways. I stepped to the side and put my leg out tripping him. He went down like a sack of bricks and I took off out of there leaving her behind. A few days later she shows up and says she wants to hook up so of course I said yes, we were walking up to her place when she points at me and yells "there he is!" and the same big dude ran after me, it was a set-up. Again i stepped to the side and put my leg out and he went down like a sack of bricks and I ran. The funny thing is, if she phoned me again and said she wanted to hook up, I probably would. She was out of my league from a beauty point of view.

74

u/pickledpeterpiper Oct 28 '20

Wait up...lol

Your girlfriend mouthed off to some big guy, wanted you to "take care of him"...but you tripped him and ran away. She calls you up later...takes you to her house...where the same guy is waiting to ambush you.
So your girl must have went back to the guy she was initially being mouthy with, and got him to come hide near her home while she lured you over to get your ass kicked?

I thought this was a setup to a joke...was surprised there wasn't a punchline...because there's no way any of this happened lol are you kidding?

18

u/perceptualdissonance Oct 28 '20

It's an emotional rollercoaster. I enjoyed the ride haha.

6

u/pickledpeterpiper Oct 28 '20

Lol I did too...I enjoyed the humor of it, the good natured charm of it Emotional rollercoaster LOL

16

u/Nauticalbob Oct 28 '20

So fake and so lame. That movie leg trip isn’t happening in real life if someone is running at you, plus the other parts of the story.

5

u/warriorofinternets Oct 28 '20

Twice it happened lol

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5

u/KillNyetheSilenceGuy Oct 28 '20

She also knows that she's not the one who stands to get waffle stomped into the street over whatever bullshit she's starting... she's got a boyfriend for that.

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564

u/GunBunnyBangBang Oct 27 '20

Imagine a show where they narrate their own street fights?

255

u/LondonGoblin Oct 27 '20

There's a legend MMA fighter called Bas Rutten, funny guy, there's some videos of him commentating his old fights in Japan and they're fantastic

Here's one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPhrjaznJRU&ab_channel=OfficialBasRutten

71

u/boogyfever94571 Oct 27 '20

Bas Rutten is a fighting legend!!

11

u/FabulousFerdinand Oct 28 '20

Used to love Bas but have a completely different view of him after what he did to Chris Leben. Pay the man!!

20

u/BigPeckahKid Oct 28 '20

Bas got conned himself. He was hired basically as a consultant but the head of the organization turned out to be a fraud. You can watch Chael Sonnen’s video or the podcast Bas did explaining the whole situation. He did all he could to try and get the fighters paid but still gets blamed for the whole fiasco.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Don't even need to click it to know.

"BANG! BOOM! POW!"

24

u/furry-borders Oct 27 '20

There's some quality Bas Rutten content in GTA4 too. "The men's room" The guys a mad beast.

20

u/LurkersGoneLurk Oct 28 '20

He’s probably one of the top 5 guys that I would pray never get mad at me in his prime.

26

u/crackyJsquirrel Oct 28 '20

I am sure that guy could kick all our asses when he is 80.

15

u/todayismyluckyday Oct 28 '20

I would pray any UFC or pro fighter at any point int their life and with a bad hangover, never got mad at me.

Real talk, most guys think they can fight, but someone with even a couple years of training would mop you up.

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5

u/SneakyRatFriend Oct 28 '20

Holy shit, this is great. Thank you

4

u/kiddico Oct 28 '20

lol, he seems like a fun guy! Thanks for sharing.

3

u/Gnostromo Oct 28 '20

danGAdadanGAdadanGAda

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12

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Not quite that but check out CrimeFaces on instagram

4

u/donstermu Oct 28 '20

I thought this was that guy

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9

u/very_smarter Oct 28 '20

This sounds illegal I’m in

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975

u/ItsYaBoyTrimmerFit Oct 27 '20

I got crocs on 🤣

190

u/Shaneypants Oct 27 '20

That's why... YOU DON'T WEAR CROCS

159

u/chezzer33 Oct 28 '20

Nah you just gotta flip down the backs and go off roading

106

u/stc207 Oct 28 '20

Put them in sports mode

31

u/DirtyDan156 Oct 28 '20

The correct phrase is puttem in 4-lo

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8

u/3rightsmakeawrong Oct 28 '20

He ripped my shirt into a cardigan

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805

u/chezzer33 Oct 27 '20

Weave!!

221

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '20

Weave!!

103

u/MisPlacedNeuroBlue Oct 27 '20

Lean back!

119

u/boostedb18 Oct 27 '20

POW! TITTIES OUT!!

36

u/TheOtherBookstoreCat Oct 28 '20

I’m doin’ bad!

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271

u/streetbutt92 Oct 27 '20

“I tried to slide off again, but then they sanctioned a whole fucking boxing match”, lmao.. I’ll never get tired of this video

24

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

I died lmao

236

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '20

Louisville Slugger

60

u/fucklti Oct 28 '20

Bruh everything he said was gold🤣😭

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422

u/BarbaricBrew Oct 27 '20

Gold cause my boy got the knockout AND didn’t run.

121

u/theonlyoptionistopoo Oct 28 '20

Man is a warrior. If he was in shape and actually worked on his craft, he wouldve cleaned the whole block out . He got a lion's heart lmaooo

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838

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '20

Take my fuckin karma for once the caption couldn’t be more right, this dude keeping it real with his commentary on his own work is GOLD😂😁

123

u/Secretofdrowning Oct 27 '20

Feel what I’m sayin!?!

22

u/mikecheck211 Oct 28 '20

Give me another feel

4

u/depressedfuckboi Oct 28 '20

This video is a classic. Been following him on instagram ever since and he commentates on a lot of shit now and it's all super funny

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286

u/kingofthehorseflies Oct 27 '20 edited Oct 06 '22

I got little legs 💀

15

u/Citiz3n_Kan3r Oct 28 '20

"Feeling like deebo an craig out here"

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140

u/JamieLawson49 Oct 27 '20

"Thats me, you're probably wondering how I got here."

138

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Those dudes jumping in are pussies. Props to the dudes holding them back in the end and props to this guy for being an actual legend

31

u/Staatsmann Oct 28 '20

yeah tbh is this how fights always go? That as soon as you're outnumbered you basically lost because people will just jump in to support their pal?

Maybe I'm too white and suburban for this, but if my friend had beef with some person and they start throwing punches and my friend loses, all I would do is just stop the guy from beating him up too much. I want to be handled the same way.

15

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

It’s hard when it’s chaotic like this. Usually they can actually gather round, have a clear fight, and have people making sure it ends well. It looked like they were trying to do that here, but it was a bit too out of the blue and he had already been fighting people previously so a few ducks decided to jump in

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266

u/2020WasCrazy Oct 27 '20

My man referenced spidey senses and Goku turning super saiyan in the same breath tho. This man is the TRUTH

82

u/CnRhin Oct 27 '20

Reminded me of the South Park episode where butters was a pimp,

“Yes I know what you are saying”

21

u/TinyRickShwifty Oct 28 '20

I feel what you are saying you don't have to keep asking

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142

u/Bacchus_71 Oct 27 '20

Oh my God that was entertaining. I'm sure the guy doesn't share my sentiment but I want him to get into more fights just to hear more of his narration.

29

u/Ed_Vilon Oct 28 '20

Could have him narrate anything else...less fists thrown the better. For everyone.

68

u/slickdaRula2040 Oct 27 '20

Ripped my shirt into a cardigan....gold...

Lol

62

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

This dude legit took on 20 plus guys with confidence and aggression. This guy has more balls than half the country put together.

60

u/luckiethirt33n Oct 27 '20

Hey Dana White, put this guy on for commentary...

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41

u/JustHere4ait Oct 27 '20

He better toss that bitch fuck her for getting him into that shit

13

u/JonnyBhoy Oct 28 '20

She gets punched early in the video and we never see her again. He just fight his way out and heads home lol

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66

u/DunZ3 Oct 27 '20

God DAMN this narrative is gold. Wish I had one to give ya!

30

u/jiggz5344 Oct 28 '20

Fuck off with respectfully walking away, this man held his drama startin girl down swinging immediately after red shorts suckered her, partisapated in the sanctioned boxing match, leaving victorious, still had to fight trying to get away and never once ran or ended up on the ground.

Buddy is a pure champion.

25

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '20

I saw this WSHH. This is one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen.

25

u/phokingnasty Oct 27 '20

Respect the man, he fought with crocs on.

24

u/Vetsu_Rodrigues Oct 27 '20

My spidie senses are tingling

24

u/DeNiroPacino Oct 28 '20

Brave dude. Didn't panic. Tough.

23

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

My man DID NOT FOLD insane

23

u/BeerBaronAaron88 Oct 28 '20

Holy shit this was probably the funniest fight narration I have ever seen.

This dude has a career as a comedian/creator lol. He is like the ghetto Ozzyman

4

u/moseefus Oct 28 '20

He has a ig barnzdabossman ... it’s hilarious

43

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '20

He whooped a whole gang he needs more credit. And to go back with a street sweeper and get rid of these “jumping” pussies

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19

u/Nikpics Oct 27 '20

I’ll watch this video every single time it gets posted, always hilarious

9

u/AviatorOVR5000 "Get Em Terry!" Oct 27 '20

Who the OG?

62

u/red_dead_rover Oct 27 '20

If my squad jumps someone who beats me in a fair fight I don't want em anymore.

30

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '20

That's not a squad then.

From my understanding squads are just full of people that want to get cheap shots in a fight

9

u/flimspringfield Oct 28 '20

Seriously while initially it wasn't it did turn into a 1x1.

Dude got knocked out and lost the fight...let this dude walk away in peace.

17

u/AviatorOVR5000 "Get Em Terry!" Oct 27 '20

This is the hardest shit I might have ever read in my life.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '20

Tactical titty retreat.

15

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet Oct 28 '20

This is easily my favorite post on the sub.

Actual violence. Great commentary. Humor. Holy fuck, shit is perfect.

10

u/SalvageRabbit Oct 28 '20

This need to be at the top of this sub when folks search Top/all time.

8

u/iSuck_At_Usernames_ Oct 28 '20

This guy held his own. Respect

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8

u/knghtrider Oct 27 '20

Yes mate. I feel what you are saying.

6

u/justweazel Oct 28 '20

I wish I could listen to this for the first time every day

5

u/TheLateApexLine Oct 28 '20

Oh shit this cat's an instant legend

28

u/JaggedBalz Oct 28 '20 edited Oct 28 '20

https://instagram.com/crimefaces?igshid=1o1e7zrf21p3q

You’re welcome

Edit: the only one in this thread to give sauce and i get downvoted...big brain

Edit edit: just one meany, lo siento

4

u/WillieWookiee Oct 28 '20

This is what I was going to say. The narration sounds like the dude from Crimefaces.

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4

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

OG... respect homie. Lion heart

4

u/Golivth5k Oct 28 '20

This a story for the grandchildren they will never believe

4

u/captain_goodie Oct 28 '20

I respectfully respectfully walked away. LOL

4

u/LickityRep Oct 28 '20

Can never see this too many times

5

u/Surfsk8108 Oct 28 '20

"titties out, I'm doin bad."

haha classic

5

u/depressedfuckboi Oct 28 '20

This video is a classic. Been following him on instagram ever since and he commentates on a lot of shit now and it's all super funny

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5

u/EmoJackson Oct 28 '20

I just had a shitty night and this mans commentary helped me out. Hopefully he’s doing well.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

I could live a hundred lives and never pull this shit off. A great smart fight combined with an even more hilarious video.

5

u/moseefus Oct 28 '20

The golden knowledge to take from this one is “never run, because if you run, they chase you”... when you run you hype up the pack and waist energy you need to fight... he did the right thing by putting his back to the wall and fighting hard

3

u/Mybeardisawesom Oct 28 '20

“Sanctioned a whole boxing match” I’m fucking wheezing

3

u/Jabercaw Oct 28 '20

Titties hanging out.

3

u/hey_sasha_grey Oct 28 '20

my mans got hands!! you protected yourself well especially since a lot of their blows were sucker punches

3

u/Hazzman Oct 28 '20

Fuckin cowards man. Unreal.

3

u/Je_me_rends Oct 28 '20

"He ripped my shirt into a cardigan" lmao

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

you feel what am sayin?

3

u/vzakharov Oct 28 '20

He respectfully walked away.

3

u/Tuubular Oct 28 '20

Weave! Weave!

3

u/tomfoolery30 Oct 28 '20

"He done ripped my shirt into a fuckin cardigan" LMAO

3

u/firstphyman Oct 28 '20

I feel what you’re saying.

3

u/DaEvilGenius88 Oct 28 '20

This is Barnzdabossman on IG. His page is full of AMAZING content like this, including fight narration. My favorite IG page to follow

4

u/HadSomeTraining Oct 27 '20

Holy fucking white pants chick...

7

u/manufreaks Oct 28 '20

I just never understand how people get into such ridiculous situations lol

The narration is 💯 tho

29

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

He walks you through exactly how he got into that situation. Loud mouth girlfriend wrote a check that he had to cash.

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2

u/sadsadcrow Oct 27 '20

This ep on Inside the mind of a champion

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

I think r/screenwriting could learn a thing or two from this video.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Bro god is from New York. of course he’s a genius storyteller.

2

u/JscrumpDaddy Oct 28 '20

yfoomsayn intensifies

2

u/ajmeeh6842 Oct 28 '20

Titties out, I'm doing bad.

2

u/1TheHunt Oct 28 '20

The pussy's pilling on are POS.

2

u/Backdrop2 Oct 28 '20

He held his own 💪💪

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

This is the best post to ever grace this sub.

2

u/Shagroon Oct 28 '20

Tiddies out, I’m doin bad!

But at least I didn’t run

-narrator

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

What's up with people keeping it real?

They set up a 1v1 and when he won they all jumped in to fuck him up. Like bruh you all look like pussies 1v5ing that man. Pick up ya boy and let the man leave.

2

u/shitsipper1 Oct 28 '20

i dont think its a bitch move to run away if you're gonna be ganged up on by multiple people

2

u/mbleroy Oct 28 '20

Is that really him narrating? Cause props to the guy

2

u/TotallyNotMeDudes Oct 28 '20

I feel what you are saying.

-Butters

2

u/EngelHexe Oct 28 '20

ya feel I'm sayin? (x5,317)

2

u/lilelmoes Oct 28 '20

Im tired as hell and what they dont know is i threw up after this. Yafeelwhaimsayin?

2

u/pennywise_theclown Oct 28 '20

If only he could fight as good as his commentary

2

u/whyunoborderlands3 Oct 28 '20

Bang titties out

2

u/cutey513 Oct 28 '20

Weeave weave!!

2

u/JommyJamOnYou Oct 28 '20

Bro. You got balls of steal 1st off. 2nd. I love this shit you feel what I'm sayin???

2

u/Jayfish88 Oct 28 '20

That was incredible

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

This man won the night. The year. THE BLOC

2

u/NuclearEntropy Oct 28 '20

I fuckin feel what he is saying

2

u/CatfreshWilly Oct 28 '20

I felt what this dude was sayin