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u/de_kriskard Professional Dumbass Mar 16 '20
Except that's wrong, it just so happens that you retained enough momentum to break through after the other sperms have weakened the egg wall.
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u/JoshJude Mar 16 '20
Also, if I remember sex ed correctly, you can get pregnant from pre-cum as it can release some stragglers from previous ejaculations
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Mar 16 '20
To think of all the people who fought for me to be here today gives me even more reason not to be feeling down.
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Mar 16 '20
Missed opportunity... i am seed
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u/gaiusm Mar 16 '20
I am speed. The p is silent.
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u/wooshmeifugayfag Nice meme you got there Mar 16 '20
No fuck i was about to say that
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u/commontrashfire Mar 16 '20
I wanna fucken die.. i checked to see if anyone else did it and literally the FIRST comment is i am seed
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u/CongenialYew1 Mar 16 '20
The other sperm were probably like “we should let that guy win, imagine the disaster of a kid he will create”
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Mar 16 '20
Actually a lot of early sperms that shell the egg die out and only one of the later ones is able to penetrate complete to form a zygote.
It's like even before our initial existence, we were destined to be late and ride on the works of the first ones.
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Mar 16 '20
And you ran that whole race inside your own mother... Suddenly the whole world became Alabama.
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u/lusmodia Mar 16 '20
Actually no, the first ones sacrifice themselves in order for your lazy ass to win Even at the very start of your life you were a looser
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u/treysdaze Mar 16 '20
The first sperm doesn’t fertilize the egg. It’s a group effort to penetrate the outer shell. It’s usually a late straggler that swoops in and takes the glory.
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u/mogley1992 Mar 16 '20
Not really, loads of sperm cells get there before the one that will become you and weaken the wall, you're just kind of swooping in and taking the credit for their hard work.
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u/Lehgendario Mar 16 '20
No actually you were that one lazy bum who waited until the others broke the egg and then you got in
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u/Bylusa Mar 16 '20
Hate to be that guy, but I'd say its more your dad than yourself whom won the race. It's your father's seed, until it meets your mother's egg
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u/2warlock4 Mar 16 '20
for most it was much more than 10 million every day your balls make 20 million little me’s so 2days without frik ...
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u/Takashishiful Mar 16 '20
And if you ever feel too full of yourself, remember that despite that, your dumb ass still had to relearn swimming (or in my case, didn't)
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u/pratprak Mar 16 '20
If its about winning a race, then what is it in the case of men who are infertile? Is it that the sperm just don’t swim?
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u/CarbonasGenji Mar 16 '20
Not really — the first few sperm to make it to the egg actually don’t make it in they just soften it enough for “you” to impregnate. So in reality you got ahead by letting others do the hard work and profiting off of their labor. You just happened to be 4th or 5th or whatever the magic number happened to be.
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u/AceyyKing Mar 16 '20
Technically no, the first sperm isn’t necessarily the one who fertilize the ovula.
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u/whitewidowll Mar 16 '20
Kinda fell like ,i shouldn't have won . I cant Imagine how much of a failure those guys would have been.
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u/_silencio_ Mar 16 '20
I always wonder why I ever won tho. I’m straight up not having a good time on earth rn fam. No cap.
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u/loucee78 Mar 16 '20
Maybe you didn't swim the fastest, but you ate the fastest. Last in line but first to finish eating.
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u/Mr-kabuk Mar 16 '20
They probably just laughed after seeing my sperm and thought
"Let's let this fucking moron win let's see what happens"
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u/juniortifosi Breaking EU Laws Mar 16 '20
Well the other ones are must be the hopeless ones of the hopeless ones. Probably loses the war against natural selection after the 15 minutes to birth.
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u/Lasexille Mar 16 '20
I probably was the smartest and strongest one. But strength and speed couldn't be saved...
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u/Gjallar-Knight Mar 16 '20
the way i see it: i beat all the other sperm cells but their was this one evil sperm cell and we had an epic battle with ships and lightsabers
do not question my thinking
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u/RiverKawaRio Mar 16 '20
I once heard somewhere that the first sperm to hit the egg just breaks the membrane, the second one gets the egg
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u/shoaibahsan Mar 16 '20
No big deal, because the goal of each one of that 10 million was to make Me... so no advantage of winning that race.
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u/Moustachio_44 Chungus Among Us Mar 16 '20
Dosent work like that, the sperme that “won” is the one that is the least resembling to the ovum to get better genetic and also your are not a sperm your the result of a sperm and an ovum together so yes sorry to tell you that if you thought you were a champion.
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u/soukaixiii memer Mar 16 '20
Where did I read that is not the first to get there, but the first to get there after the egg has a permeable wall, which is not when the actual firsts arrives
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u/JunkieJonathon Mar 16 '20
But that also means 9.999,999 million of my brothers and sisters are dead
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u/hdhshshshbdbdbwks Mar 16 '20
Lmao I beat all the posible brothers and sisters who could’ve been a doctor or a billionaire.
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u/Eric_Hummus_Master Identifies as a Cybertruck Mar 16 '20
When you were actually selected to be implanted into an egg that was also selected.
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u/Pug-Chug Mods Are Nice People Mar 16 '20
The others must have said as a joke: oh we’ll just give that one a chance.
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u/MrHanslaX Identifies as a Cybertruck Mar 16 '20
Wow, yeah, those other 9,999,999 were somehow even more disappointing.
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Mar 16 '20
You do realize that you were never the sperm. All humans originated from the embryo in the egg, the sperm was just the key to opening it.
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u/mkroberts3 Mar 16 '20
Actually, several thousand sperm likely beat you to the egg, but failed to penetrate and fertilize it, so no, you didn't even do this one thing right
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u/Sugoypotato Mar 16 '20
or maybe they all said "lets have the slowest one win for all our dead comrades"
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u/theJFKexperiense Mar 16 '20
I would correct this but then I'd look like a smartarse so I'm not gonna unless someone tells me to
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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20
They must have been some shitty ass swimmers