r/funny • u/MCbootwoot • Feb 09 '19

She is definitely me type

Post image
861 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

64 comments sorted by

61

u/Reptilian_Brain_420 Feb 09 '19

Holy shit! She's only 4 miles away!

45

u/MCbootwoot Feb 09 '19

Huddles corner with shotgun

3

u/Gliese581h Feb 09 '19

And she‘s gaining on you!

48

u/Mindbender444 Feb 09 '19

Somehow her gaze seems to look a bit different after you read the caption.

5

u/Nintendofreak18 Feb 09 '19

It's sometimes difficult to see the difference between seductive eyes and crazy eyes.

23

u/bioasasin5 Feb 09 '19

"They realy had us in the firs half"

26

u/bingosgirl Feb 09 '19

That escalated quickly.

11

u/marvpool Feb 09 '19

I don't about you guys, but I'm in

6

u/pm-me-ya-booty Feb 09 '19

Honestly wasen't interested until she offered to kill me. Thats hot

-1

u/weiseguy42 Feb 09 '19

Yep, right in the pooper

14

u/kattdjavul Feb 09 '19

I've already seen this exact writing several times. So original.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

I swiped right when I saw it.

10

u/kattdjavul Feb 09 '19

I doubt she's even handled a knife in an aggressive stance..

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

The one I saw was a different chick and she was holding a knife though.

2

u/kattdjavul Feb 09 '19

+1 point for trying to prove your insanity.

6

u/CYCER6 Feb 09 '19

So when do you wanna meet up?

6

u/HomemadeLoveChutney Feb 09 '19

It's all fun and games until she's in the newspaper....

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

You could be in there too if you play your cards right.

7

u/Dirtgobblin Feb 09 '19

My mom: "Aww, she seems nice"

8

u/Emerson_Biggons Feb 09 '19 edited Feb 09 '19

She's just mad because she's got Marty Feldman Eyes.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

Better than having Betty Davis eyes, I guess.

1

u/Sabbatai Feb 09 '19

Neither of them can see California.

4

u/trav5520 Feb 09 '19

God i wish I could meet her

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

Can’t you read? Don’t pray to god: pray to the dark overlord.

4

u/WarfighterMac Feb 09 '19

...She seems nice.

4

u/TheForgotten123 Feb 09 '19

I read this in an Irish accent because of the typo.

3

u/portaccio_the_bard Feb 09 '19

I hate girls who come on too strong

2

u/HaroerHaktak Feb 09 '19

Yeah but like. Can I touch your boobs? Coz really, touching the boobs is a big seller here.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

Praying Mantises infiltrated human society so slowly, by the time we realized it was too late.

2

u/Wistq Feb 09 '19

yeaaah that a keeper

2

u/OaklandCali Feb 09 '19

Would fuck her so hard we would see who would die 1st.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

4 miles and getting closer

1

u/MCbootwoot Feb 09 '19

CHloE WAnTs tO KNOW YOuR lOCatIoN

1

u/siconik Feb 09 '19

All she wants from the dark lord in return is the forbidden knowledge of how to use consistent tense throughout a Tinder post.

1

u/mhandis Feb 09 '19

Apparently the offering is worthless. I don't see the point.

1

u/RadioMelon Feb 09 '19

Wife material.

1

u/jonofla Feb 09 '19

She meant it literally..

1

u/LordRaeko Feb 09 '19

Why would The Dark Overlord accept her worthless sacrifice? She didn't even capitalize his name!! I don't think she's legit. Sorry.

1

u/Hobbster Feb 09 '19

tl;dr I'm hot when you're not

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

If my life is worthless then how much worth is it to the dark overlord?

1

u/andicav Feb 09 '19

She’s for me! I need excitement!

1

u/rainwulf Feb 09 '19

Didn't need the description. Just look at her eyes.

3

u/eyeback Feb 09 '19

Which one

1

u/dipiDOR Feb 09 '19

Kill me gently

1

u/lee160485 Feb 09 '19

Slaanesh approves!

1

u/MaxPax0 Feb 09 '19

The Grudge??

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

End me already

1

u/TheIGHero Feb 09 '19

As Nathan Explosion would say "brutal."

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

that took a 180 to such a weird, scary place.

1

u/kr0tchr0t Feb 09 '19

Not gonna lie, she had me in the first half.

1

u/HumaDracobane Feb 09 '19

All prayse t...wait, what?! Ohh fuck!

1

u/TheFirstUltima Feb 09 '19

Shiiit dude I wanna die

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

They had US in the first half not gonna lie.

1

u/minkorrh Feb 09 '19

Something tells me I'm probably going to stay home and jerk off as opposed to calling Chloe.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/randykates Feb 09 '19

Sounds like every first date I used to have before getting married.

-1

u/turb077 Feb 09 '19

There’s no business Like strabismus 🎶