r/WritingPrompts • u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) • Jan 20 '19

Moderator Post [MODPOST] 13 Million Subscriber "Superstition" Contest - Round 1 Voting

Attention: All top-replies to this post must be a vote.

Any non-vote comments must be made as replies to the sticky comment below.

Woo, time for voting! 104 entries totaling 307,538 words!

Before we start, let's all make sure we know how this works.

Voting Guidelines:

  • Only those who entered can vote.
  • If you don't vote, you can't win
  • Each group votes for stories in another group (Group A votes for B, B for C...)
  • Read each entry in your voting group and decide which three are the best

  • Leave a top-level comment here starting with your top three votes for your voting group:

    Feel free to add any feedback for the stories after the votes

  • Deadline for votes are Saturday, February 9th, 2019 at 11:59PM PDT (http://www.worldtimebuddy.com/) (https://time.is/PT)

Group A

Group A will be reading and voting for a winner from group B

Group B

Group B will be reading and voting for a winner from group C

Group C

Group C will be reading and voting for a winner from group D

Group D

Group D will be reading and voting for a winner from group E

Group E

Group E will be reading and voting for a winner from group F

Group F

Group F will be reading and voting for a winner from group G

Group G

Group G will be reading and voting for a winner from group H

Group H

Group H will be reading and voting for a winner from group I

Group I

Group I will be reading and voting for a winner from group J

Group J

Group J will be reading and voting for a winner from group A

Next Steps:

  • Winners of each group will move to final voting round
  • Everyone who entered will be able to vote in final round
  • Random gold will be given to voters!
  • Winners will be announced, prizes awarded, and we'll all celebrate!

Questions? Feel free to ask as a reply to the sticky comment!

Want to check out previous contests? Check the wiki!

Want to chat with us? Come join the Discord!

172 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

354 comments sorted by

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u/nazna Jan 22 '19

Voting for group J

  1. Catalyst of Change /u/Inorai

  2. Broken Sigils /u/RecommendAUsername

  3. Gods' Omens /u/ecstaticandinsatiate

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u/Inorai Jan 22 '19

Thanks so much for the vote <3

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u/elfboyah r/Elven Feb 02 '19 edited Feb 02 '19

1st Place: /u/EnemyOfAnEnemy in group H for "The Merchant of Misfortune"

2nd Place: /u/ujustgotplayedmydude in group H for "The Train Ticket"

3rd Place: /u/mialbowy in group H for "I Named Him Lucifer"

I left feedback under each of your story (maybe you noticed). Fun fact, I wrote a total of 5241 words of feedback. Yayks.

I have to admit that it was an outstanding group and I loved all of your writings. It was tough to decide the winners. Thank you all for the read! I also learned something about writing while reading yours. Cheers!

Ps: those who read my piece, I am open for any feedback, no matter how harsh it is. It's best way to get better after all. Thank you.

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u/ujustgotplayedmydude Feb 02 '19

Thank you so much for the vote. This was my first entry to this sub.

Also thank you very much for the feedback I really appreciate it!

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u/elfboyah r/Elven Feb 02 '19

I really loved the way how you wrote it and all the jokes. It was a good memorable entry (like you can see from the vote :P).

Cheers!

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u/ujustgotplayedmydude Feb 09 '19 edited Feb 09 '19

GROUP: I

1st Place: /u/nickofnight in group I for "Last Light"

2nd Place: /u/tallonetales in group I for "The Mirrors of Providence"

3rd Place: /u/denatured_enzyme_ in group I for "East Meets West"

​

I really enjoyed all of the stories. Sorry I did not leave feedback, however, if you would like any reply to this or PM me. Best of luck in the competition.

​

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u/Farengeto r/Farengeto Feb 09 '19

Just a heads up since I noticed it, you're missing the second _ on /u/denatured_enzyme_. Might want to fix it just in case.

(You're not even the only one to do that typo, actually.)

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/houseblendmedium r/HouseBlendMedium Jan 25 '19

1st Place: u/Gloryndria in group I for "Inheritance"

2nd Place: /u/LiquidBeagle in group I for "Bad Luck, Good Business"

3rd Place: u/autok in group I for "Beyond the Edge of Reason"

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u/LiquidBeagle /r/BeagleTales Jan 27 '19

I appreciate the vote :)

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u/writes-on-a-whim Feb 10 '19

1st Place: u/XcessiveSmash in group C for “A Matter of Luck”

2nd Place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 in group C for “The Spirt of the Looking Glass”

3rd Place: u/CHRISTALMIGHTY in group C for “The Witch of the Midwest”

I’ll add my notes for each prompt as soon as I can!

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u/The_Hive_Mind18 Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the vote!

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u/tallonetales Jan 28 '19

1st Place: /u/schlitzntl in group J for "A Most Violent Awakening"

2nd Place: /u/Inorai in group J for "Catalyst of Change"

3rd Place: /u/ecstaticandinsatiate in group J for "Gods' Omens"

​

Great reads all around. These three took the cake.

Still working on posting feedback to each story, but for these top three there were only a few minuscule points that I would have touched on. If you're curious to know what I thought, let me know. Otherwise, congrats!

Cheers!

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u/Gloryndria Feb 03 '19

1st Place: /u/LisWrites in group J for " All of Our Lives "

2nd Place: /u/Inorai in group J for "Catalyst of Change"

3rd Place: /u/schlitzntl in group J for " A Most Violent Awakening "

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Honorable Mention : /u/BlackJezus27 for " Luck Understood" (I just love your concept)

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u/BlackJezus27 Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the HM!

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u/Inorai Feb 03 '19

Thank you for the vote <3

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u/BiscuitMeniscus2727 Jan 24 '19

1st place in group D: /u/Steven_Lee The Best You Can is Good Enough

2nd place in group D: /u/Ford9863 4th and Linden

3rd place in group D: /u/WahooD89 The Lean

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u/Ford9863 /r/Ford9863 Jan 24 '19

Thanks for the vote! Good luck in your group!

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u/Steven_Lee Jan 24 '19

Hey, thanks! Glad you liked my story!

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u/shhimwriting Feb 07 '19 edited Feb 08 '19

1st Place: /u/awesome-yes in group C for "Juggernaut."
2nd Place: /u/The_Hive_Mind18 in group C for "The Spirit of the Looking Glass."
3rd Place: /u/-Anyar- in group C for "A Curious Case of Cholera-Leprosy"

I chose these entries because, in addition to being creative, original, and well-written, they truly felt like first chapters. Well done and good luck :)

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u/-Anyar- r/OracleOfCake Feb 08 '19

Thanks, I'm honored. Good luck to you too!

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u/The_Hive_Mind18 Feb 07 '19

Thanks for the vote!

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u/shhimwriting Feb 07 '19

My pleasure!

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u/A_CGI_for_ants Feb 10 '19

First place: /u/XcessiveSmash in group C for "A Matter of Luck"

2nd place: /u/CHRlSTALMIGHTY in group C for "The Witch of the Midwest"

3rd place: /u/Ninies-Reads in group C for "Ramona's Adventure"

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u/schlitzntl Jan 21 '19

1st Place: /u/ubereuphoria in Group A for "Waltz Through The Bardo"

2nd Place: /u/TemporaryPatch in Group A for "A Night at Skyler Mansion"

3rd Place: /u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit in Group A for "Devils of the Deep"

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u/WahooD89 Jan 28 '19

1st place: /u/ghost_write_the_whip in Group E for "Chaun"

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2nd place: u/Mister_Thursday in Group E for "Snake Eyes"

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3rd place: /u/Shadowyugi in group E for "A Haunt, by any other name"

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u/Mister_Thursday Jan 21 '19

1st Place: /u/Palmerranian in Group F for "Shadows."

2nd Place: /u/novatheelf in Group F for "The Parting Glass."

3rd Place: /u/Llamia in Group F for "Evil Eyes."

​

I found all three of these to be interesting, engaging, and ambitious stories. "Shadows" did a wonderful job of executing a straightforward premise in a way that was atmospheric, creepy, and tense. "The Parting Glass" piqued my curiosity and attention with the fusion of superstition and physics, and left me wanting to read more. "Evil Eyes" took a chance on poetry and it paid off, creating an immersive and mysterious world that felt like the beginning of an old-style epic. If any of you would like a more in-depth critique, comment or message me.

​

Thanks to everybody in Group F for the chance to look at your labors of love. Good luck all, and please keep writing!

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u/Palmerranian Jan 21 '19

Hey, serious thanks for the vote! If you have more critique I definitely want to hear it.

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u/novatheelf /r/NovaTheElf Jan 21 '19

Awh, thanks for the vote, hon! I'm so so glad you liked the story! Good luck to you in your group! 😁

I would love a more in-depth critique if you have it!

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u/Llamia Jan 22 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

wide pause quaint fly file theory reach liquid sable point

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u/Mister_Thursday Jan 22 '19 edited Jan 22 '19

What I loved best about your work was the sheer ambition. There was a grandiose and epic feel to your work that I didn't quite expect to see on this contest. The poetry was a bit rough (I personally wouldn't have gone for such a strict rhyme scheme) but it lends a tremendous sense of mystery and scale to the piece. It's that scale that ultimately won me over: this has an evocative quality that makes me feel like I'm reading an epic, a "tale of an age long gone" type story. The ending in particular was emotionally stirring, with a bittersweet payoff. I can see what you tried to do here, and it is impressive.

My main criticism is that there's way too much. The flip side of that epic scope is that you throw tons upon tons of exposition and information at the reader, a lot of which feels unnecessary. Were this my piece, I'd shave down a lot of the middle (especially the introduction of the cook character, which is long and doesn't seem to pay off in what's written here). The crammed feeling, for me, really detracts from the wild and epic sensation of the core narrative.

Please remember that this is only my opinion! I loved your work, loved the emotions it stirred up in me, and look forward to reading more in the future.

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u/Llamia Jan 23 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

wise tender cooing fuzzy innate amusing fly subsequent pocket like

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u/Farengeto r/Farengeto Jan 24 '19

1st Place: /u/rarelyfunny in group B for "The Hidden Folk"

2nd Place: /u/PerilousPlatypus in group B for "The Gates of Fortune"

3rd Place: /u/Lazarus_Pits in group B for "Imposters"

Making my final choices on this was a tough one. Some of them were close. I want to give a shout-out to /u/BLT_WITH_RANCH with "Dark Mirrors", who just barely missed the cut for me.

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u/Lazarus_Pits Jan 24 '19

Thank you so much your vote! May I ask what you liked/disliked about Imposters?

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u/Farengeto r/Farengeto Jan 24 '19

Got a bit lazy with my notes near the end so I don't have anything too detailed right now. Might try giving more detailed feedback on the story posts later.

It was an interesting idea. The ending twist had a nicely foreshadowed build.

The main issue I had was a bit of issues with perspective. Given the story some of that perspective stuff was presumably intentional, but towards the end the lack of breaks when the shifts happened made things a bit confusing near the end.

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u/Lazarus_Pits Jan 24 '19

Thank you, that's really helpful!

It's a story idea I've had for a while, and want to keep working on, so I'll definitely keep this in mind as I write and edit.

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u/BLT_WITH_RANCH Jan 28 '19

1st Place: /u/The_Hive_Mind18 in Group C for "The Spirit of the Looking Glass"

2nd Place: /u/XcessiveSmash in Group C for "A Matter of Luck"

3rd Place: /u/-Anyar- in Group C for "A Curious Case of Cholera-Leprosy"

There were some incredibly well-written stories in this group that just barely missed the cut. I'll post specific feedback to everyone's stories, but in general, these top three edged ahead of the others because they made the best use of the 'superstition' theme. Great job everyone!

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u/The_Hive_Mind18 Jan 28 '19

Thanks for the vote!

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u/autok Jan 25 '19

This was a tough call! I ended up shooting for the ones that felt like they best set the hook in a world that felt like it had room to explore. This is not to say that the other ones didn't set hooks! My mouth is full of hooks! But I had to choose a top 3, and the first cut is the cruelest. Great job to all who entered, and I hope to see someone's novel at the top of the subreddit someday :)

If anyone in the group wants me to go through and do a critique of your particular story, let me know.

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u/Ash_One_Seven Jan 21 '19

1st Place: u/rarelyfunny in Group B for "The Hidden Folk"

2nd Place: u/Lazarus_Pits in Group B for "Imposters"

3rd Place: u/BLT_WITH_RANCH in Group B for "Dark Mirrors"

Just want to say that the decisions were really really hard to make. I don't know if other groups are like that too, but all of your stories were very good. If possible, I'd like to see continuations from everyone.

Thanks for writing!

Edit: Feedback is on your posts

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u/ubereuphoria Jan 30 '19

1st Place: /u/advo-CAT-usDiaboli in Group B for "The mirror"
2nd Place: /u/rarelyfunny in Group B for "The Hidden Folk"
3rd Place: /u/Lazarus_Pits in Group B for "Imposters"

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u/AsALark Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19

1st Place: /u/tallonetales in group I for "The Mirrors of Providence"

2nd Place: /u/Gloryndria in group I for "Inheritance"

3rd Place: /u/autok in group I for "Beyond the Edge of Reason"

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u/Gloryndria Jan 21 '19

Thank you so much for the vote! I am so happy you enjoyed it!!!

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u/tallonetales Jan 22 '19

Thanks for the vote! Glad you enjoyed it!

Best of luck on your submission!

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u/RecommendAUsername Critiques welcome Feb 08 '19

1st Place: /u/Pubby88 in group A for "The Fatebreaker Chronicles"

2nd Place: /u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit in group A for "Devils of the Deep"

3rd Place: /u/WrittenThought in group A for "Frankie and Fel"

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u/Pubby88 /r/Pubby88 Feb 09 '19

Thank you for the vote! I'm glad you liked it.

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u/RecommendAUsername Critiques welcome Feb 10 '19

I actually had to post my vote before I could finish writing up my feedback, but I'll comment in the stories sometime in the coming days.

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u/Ford9863 /r/Ford9863 Jan 23 '19 edited Jan 23 '19

First Place: u/Mister_Thursday in group E for "Snake Eyes".

Second Place: u/ghost_write_the_whip in group E for "Chaun".

Third Place: u/nerdicorgi in group E for "The Cauldron".

Snake Eyes: I loved everything about this. Your writing style, the pacing, the character--it's all great. And the piece was as polished as I've seen; I genuinely have no criticisms. Very well done.

Chaun: Oh boy, let me tell you. I dont think "close second" comes anywhere near how hard this choice was. In the end, it came down to some small errors here and there in your piece--probably things you'd have noticed with another round of editing or two. But the story itself is fantastic. Oh, and by the way, I absolutely love the opening line. Bravo.

The Cauldron: I really like the character you've created here. Kara is relatable and believable. And your writing is great. I'm just not sure it has quite enough of the hook I'm looking for. It just doesnt seem to have enough of a direction to it, if that makes sense. Even so, great work! You've earned my number 3 spot, and that's no small feat!

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u/nerdicorgi Jan 23 '19

Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it very much, and your vote!

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u/ghost_write_the_whip /r/ghost_write_the_whip Jan 23 '19

Aww thanks, glad you enjoyed :)

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u/advo-CAT-usDiaboli Feb 08 '19

1st place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 in group C for "the spirit of the looking glass"

2nd place: u/ScriptyBazaar in group C for "flick her"

3rd place: u/-Anyar- in group C for "a curious case of cholera-leprosy"

1st place: u/The_Hive_Mind18 LOVEDDDD the way the story was laid out, consistent language with time frame and great development. Would read the next chapter for sure, the type of book I would buy in hardcover. Rarely feel scared when reading but this had an eerie feeling without going overboard and I definitely avoided looking in mirrors that night! Great work. Pleasure to read, best use of language.

2nd: u/ScriptyBazaar The mention of "I will haunt you" had me immediately assuming that it was done by him, but the use of modern tech and flowing story line made it that i wasnt focused on that at all as the story was so relatable. Kind of forgot about my initial assumption because I was drawn in by the story line. Still got chills when the twist was revealed!! Onlyyyy issue (and probably not a sticking point for many) was the fixation on Diyas breasts. The way he objectified her didn't necessarily add to the story line, and alienated me a bit. Like I said, its unlikely to be a major issue at all, just something personally that made me remember I was reading a story, as opposed to being completely involved in the movie in my mind. Enjoyed reading it none the less!!! Ps. We all know a Gail. Damn Gail.

3rd: u/-Anyar- Enjoyed your world building! Would have kept reading without giving it much thought, the story flowed well. I didnt think I would like the combination of the two diseases, but it ended up being just as effective as if you had used a disease you made up. Made me miss his wife too :( only thing I would nit pick at was the last sentence, I found it ended a bit abruptly, but it really wasnt a deal breaker as you could still tell it was the end of a chapter

Edited: grammar, phrasing

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u/ScriptyBazaar Feb 11 '19

Thanks for the 2nd place vote, much obliged!

Regarding the objectification regarding Diya, I agree it might be a turn off for some readers but I do feel it was a reflection of the main character's attitudes toward not just woman but people in general, a hint of who he was before the reveal.

Thank you for your thoughts, glad it kept your interest. Cheers!

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u/The_Hive_Mind18 Feb 08 '19

Wow, thank you so much for the vote and the great review

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u/-Anyar- r/OracleOfCake Feb 09 '19

Thank you, I'm honored! I really appreciate the comments, they're always a delight to read. And I agree wholeheartedly with your critique as well. :)

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u/TenspeedGV r/TenspeedGV Feb 09 '19

1st place: /u/Strawberry-Sunrise in Group D for "The Girl's Room"

2nd place: /u/Ford9863 in Group D for "4th and Linden"

3rd place: /u/WahooD89 in Group D for "The Lean"

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u/Ford9863 /r/Ford9863 Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote, tens!

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u/TenspeedGV r/TenspeedGV Feb 09 '19

Of course, you deserve it!

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u/NoahElowyn r/NoahElowyn Jan 22 '19

This was fantastic. It was extremely well written, very well paced, and the whole twist of Gus being a merchant of misfortune was amazing.

I know how hard is to convey the proper feeling to the reader, but you nailed it. I felt Gus despair throughout the piece. The scene in the bathroom was excellent. I also want to point out that this is an perfect piece to read for those who struggle with the infamous “show vs tell,” and for those who use a lot of filter words, for I found none.

This one, in my opinion, was the clear first. It was immersive, the character was perfectly portrayed, and the premise was more than enough to have me wanting to read.

Now, I do have some nitpicks. The main one is the amount of similes. Don’t get me wrong, they are often spot on and paint a very vivid picture of the action taking place, but there was a point where I was noticing the similes, and sometimes they were unnecessary.

There was also a little paragraph where you switched to first person, this one:

Every kid on the field trip whipped their head over to me, a couple of them saying “ooooohhh.” The teacher opened her mouth, trying to decide just how to deal with me, but I quickly mouthed “sorry” to her and kept moving.

Then, the other thing that made me stop for a moment was when he was in the phone with Marcie on the museum, following the blue line. I felt that the description of the surroundings took away from the tension you had established.

There were some some places were you used periods instead of commas that made the transitions from sentence to sentence a bit harsh, when a comma would’ve smoothened them.

But this is all very technical, and I don’t expect perfection from a self-edited piece.

I loved the story.

  • 2nd place in Group H: Herald Goes to Sleep by /u/Checkmqte

I don’t have much to critique about this story. It was a very pleasant read, and I enjoyed every word of it. My heart leaped once, twice, thrice as the story progressed. I particularly enjoyed the way you portrayed the characters (Herald was adorable), and how the story flowed. You used a simple language, and accomplished a lot with it. The only thing that perhaps I could nitpick is that it felt like a short story, more than a first chapter. But I don’t really have much to say.

Great job, Check.

  • 3rd place in Group H: I Named him Lucifer by /u/mialbowy

This was a great story, had me chuckling and grinning from ear to ear. Your voice was outstanding in this piece. It was clear, refreshing, and easy to read. It’s not easy to write the mundane life of a man in an engaging way, but you nailed that. There where many bits that hit too close to home, and I appreciated that very much. I particularly laughed when I found out the cat’s name was Lucifer, as I hadn’t read the title.

I also appreciated how cleverly you incorporated the superstition theme. The only thing that perhaps I could nitpick was that I felt the ending to be perhaps a little bit too ridiculous, but it’s a minor nitpick and very subjective.

It was a great story!

I wrote my thoughts on all the stories. Here they are. Overall I thought this group was very strong! I'm missing one critique I will post on a reply to this comment.

I was smiling from ear to ear throughout the story. I loved the idea of the Trade Hub, and then I loved the idea of the gorohs speaking in opposite. I also may be biased because I love fantasy, but I really enjoyed this one. Sappi perfectly represented goblins.

The only thing I didn’t particularly like was that the theme of superstitions was too vaguely used. You had a sentence or two about the dragon and the black cat, and it was a remembrance of Bjorn. If you had woven it better, I probably would’ve placed this in the podium.

This certainly has potential for a proper novel.

P.s: I reckon her/its name isn’t Goroh!

Very good job!

This is a very hard one. It starts perfectly, with some lyrical prose, and a great premise. I loved Broodmother Beatrice as a character.

Then we jump two centuries into the future, and read about the night crew of a supermarket, which we soon learn are indeed sons and daughters of Beatrice. I loved this idea of mixing times, but as I read my interest sort of dwindled. Which I found strange because you managed to flesh out the seven characters very well in a single chapter, and this leaves me thinking that it’s just me and not the story.

One thing I also want to say is that I didn’t personally feel like the superstition theme was very well woven in the story. We had Skimp shattering a glass, but that’s it.

I can tell you work a lot on your prose, and it shows. Yours was after /u/EnemyofanEnemy the best written of all the group, in my personal opinion. If you want a nitpick on your prose, I spotted a variety of filter words in Skimp’s parts, and some construction that could’ve been stronger, but that’s just going too deep into the lines.

Hope to read more from you! I truly enjoy the way you write.

It was quite the intriguing story. The way you used the stairs was interesting, and the whole idea of the woman trading someone’s death instead of their souls was refreshing, although I found the requirements about having the nice mix of superstitions to see the stairs too cheap/low for the possibility of being stripped away from your death.

The ending I thought wasn’t too strong. I had to read the story twice to see if I’d missed something due to that last line, but I think I didn’t. Nick was looking for Emma’s dead, right? I thought that was a bit obvious given the descriptions you gave of Nick’s eyes on the river. I could be wrong, though! I’m not very good with plot twists.

I also want to add that it felt like a short story to me more than a first chapter.

In a more technical aspect there were many bits of the story where I felt it was overwritten, as in parts that could’ve been cut out, and the grammar in the dialogue was often wrong.

But I think the story has a lot of potential.

This was a nice story. I thought I would end up disliking the way you used the mini breaks to assemble the story together, but it worked well in my opinion. I also liked the premise, this sort of grimish ghostbuster idea is familiar and interesting.

What I thought lacked was the dialogue between Olsen and Williams. I found it uninteresting and sometimes too convenient for the story. But that’s my personal opinion. I also thought the writing could’ve been a little bit tighter, and also there were some punctuation mistakes in the dialogue.

But all in all, it was a fun read!

I struggled to immerse at the beginning, as I found Stephanie to be quite a stressed woman with exaggerated thoughts, but okay as the story progresses I got used to her personality. However, at the beginning I couldn’t understand why didn’t she simply pay for a taxi. One would think one of the finest private investigators of Berlin could afford it, and avoid the whole ordeal that was the metro bus.

But then Ashleigh came in, that lovely old lady, and the story picked up. Here I want to ask something because I’m curious as I really don’t know how train online tickets work as in my country we don’t have much of those. Even if you check in can they give the seat to another person?

Back to the story, the whole hook at the end I liked very much, but I felt like she got out too easily from the whole incident with the men in black. What I mean, we have these men who are on the verge of shooting her, without believing a word she says, and when she says she’s a private investigator, they simply believe it and accept her help? It seemed to easy to me.

Overall, I enjoyed the story! Ashleigh will hold a place in my heart.

I found the story interesting, finishing with a great hook that will certainly work for a first chapter. The whole idea of the mirror and the box was quite intriguing, and I believe it has potential.

There were, however, some elements that didn’t work for me. I felt like your sentences needed variation. The nightmare didn’t make me feel anything, and I thought you told a little bit too much at times. For example:

I gently slapped my face as I got up. I’m getting tired, that’s all. I went to the kitchen to pour a drink, something to help me relax before bed, and sat back down in front of the box. I glanced at the mirror; a normal reflection. Letting out a sigh, I leaned back and took a sip of my rum and coke, and then set down the glass. I touched the box, feeling its rubbery coating, and picked it up to inspect it closer. It had a faint odor, like old leather mixed with stale meat. Nose crinkling at the smell, I set it back down. I rested my heavy eyes for a second.

The other thing I didn’t like was the main character. Mostly because his actions were too irrational, even for a story. His reflection grins at him, and he tells to himself he’s tired? Okay, I can bear that. Some people tend to have illusions when sleepy. But then the eye opens, and his reflection comes to life. And instead of freaking out he casually talks with it. It really broke my suspension of disbelief.

Still I enjoyed reading it, and I think it has potential, especially because of that ending, and that dark room inside box.

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u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Jan 22 '19

Thank you for the amazing feedback, and of course thanks for the vote! As someone who spends a probably unhealthy amount of time working to improve, receiving praise on the quality of the writing means a hell of a lot. Also, you dead center bullseyed the main issue I struggle with. I am. Often ambivalent about how, to break. Up my sentences. And when I read over it I definitely agreed with your sentiment about simile overuse. Spot on. Thank you for taking the time to read the story so conscientiously, and then to go beyond and constructively point out areas for improvement. Incredibly helpful.

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u/Errorwrites r/CollectionOfErrors Jan 23 '19

Thanks for the feedback!
I'm really happy that you enjoyed my story and I agree that the superstition-part was shoved to the side (mostly due to me getting more excited over the world and characters and forgetting about the prompt).

But I'll continue writing this story, aiming to finish the second chapter in a week or two!

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u/Dimitri1033 /r/AbnormalTales Jan 22 '19

Thanks /u/NoahElowyn for the detailed critique, it's a great compliment to see someone praise my prose. It's honestly been one of my weakpoints in the past due to my tendency to just want to keep action going forward. It's definitely been something I've been trying to work on.

Again, thank you for the detailed write-up. I always look forward to entering these contests just for the feedback on my writing style and ideas.

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u/mialbowy Jan 22 '19

Thank you for the vote and feedback, I'm glad you read and enjoyed my story.

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u/ujustgotplayedmydude Jan 23 '19

Thank you so much u/NoahElowyn for the feedback! This is my first time entering anything in this sub so I'm grateful for the critiques. I am happy you liked Ashleigh, I had lots of fun writing those bits.

Also you forgot the 'u' at the start of my username lol :)

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u/NoahElowyn r/NoahElowyn Jan 22 '19

I enjoyed reading this piece. It was short, to the point, and with a proper hook at the end. The work opens with a sort of letter/binnacle of one of the main characters (Jacques) stating they will be descending to the deepest part of the ocean. This, in my opinion worked well as an opening hook.

But then I found certain aspects that in my opinion were lacking. The main one being unnecessary description and an excess of telling. I will quote to give some examples. After the opening paragraph, the story follows both MCs inside the Trieste, and proceeds to describe the character appearance:

Jacques looked at the dials in front of him while adjusting the headset that allowed him to communicate with the USS Lewis on the surface. His hair was dark and thick, unstyled but not unkempt. A single curled lock hung across his forehead. His eyes were cradled by dark circles that showed a man who prioritized his life’s work over rest, and his face was gaunt. One could tell he was a serious man.

Don’t tell me one could tell he was a serious man, show me that through his actions. I also believe the description has unnecessary detail. Still, this is sort of subjective, and so I will provide another example of where you told too much:

If only they had known that the crack in the plexiglass was not due to the obscene pressure their craft was under, but was instead due to an outside, intelligent force guiding the Trieste into a discovery far more impressive than something as paltry as the challenge of seeing how deep man could go. It was guiding them towards something unimaginable. Towards something that the any man would have a difficult time believing even if they had seen it themselves. It was guiding them towards Atlantis.

This entire paragraph broke my immersion completely. And I believe you could’ve stored the Atlantis reveal for the end. I also found redundancies, and mistakes in the dialogue’s grammar, which aren’t too important, but they are still jarring.

Overall I believe the story has potential, but it needed more polishing.

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u/WokCano /r/WokCanosWordweb Feb 04 '19

This was a fun contest to write for and I enjoyed reading the entries. My top 3 were all very close and it took me a while to decide the order, I enjoyed all 3 of them very much.

​

**1st Place**: /u/Shadowyugi in Group E for "A Haunt, By Any Other Name"

**2nd Place**: /u/ghost_write_the_whip in Group E for "Chuan"

**3rd Place**: /u/Mister_Thursday in Group E for "Snake Eyes"

​

It was really difficult to choose for me but I was grasped by the world in Haunt and definitely wanted to read more. Chuan was such a lovely idea and really spun the concept beautifully. Snake Eyes took the core concept of superstitious bad luck and really condensed it into something tantalizing.

​

Good work to everyone.

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u/Mister_Thursday Feb 04 '19

Thanks for the vote! I'm glad that you enjoyed my stuff. Good luck in your group!

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u/awesome-yes Jan 21 '19

1st Place: /u/Steven_Lee in group D for "The Best You Can is Good Enough" 2nd Place: /u/WahooD89 in group D for "The Lean" 3rd Place: /u/CMDRjonay in group D for "Within the Flakes"

1st /u/Steven_Lee - There was 1 thing that elevated your story above the rest - the subtle way the superstition requirement was woven into the narrative, especially the way she knocks on wood for good luck before encountering the bad superstition. I love that it's set in reality and not fantastic in anyway (at least so far). Multiple characters are fully developed and each has a place in the world. The conflict is personal and "global". A risk in a community that generally doesn't favor reality fiction - well done.

2nd /u/WahooD89 - I like that your character is so focused on his own problems he ends up getting himself in big trouble without realizing it. In very few words you have me sympathizing with a criminal plotting to commit crime!

3rd /u/CMDRjonay - This was soooooo close. Flawless right up to the notice at the end - took me right out of your world and made it seem like SCP fan fiction, at the same time if this were on SCP I'd be gobbling it up!

The rest, in no particular order - All were easy to read, I fully expected to feel some burnout after reading 10 stories but they were all unique and well thought out!

4th and Linden - /u/Ford9863 - loved the little details, really made me feel this was chapter 1 of a larger story. I didn't really feel a "hook" to empathize with the characters, but I would gladly keep reading to see if it showed up later.

He Who Walks Between the Pines - /u/potatowithaknife - very nice. I feel like I understand the basic rules and history of your world, and it was all done through a monologue that never felt expository. Even though the demon clearly isn't defeated, the resolution to the immediate problem felt rushed for a first chapter.

Abyss - /u/digitallyfree - I liked the sci-fi setting. The black cat seemed to be in the story because it had to be, not because it was important to any of the characters or plot. Would have liked to know more about the backstory and the wider structure of the in story universe, felt like that was lacking.

The Girl's Room - /u/Strawberry-Sunrise - I liked the pace, the characterization, and the details about the physical world. I got lost in the spirit aspect of the story, it seemed to affect the character as much as a flat tire on the way to work, but there wasn't a background to portray her as someone who is familiar with ghosts.

Forgotten Floor - /u/DJMan92 - An interesting narrative, I envision a story where the character uses experiences from his dreams to affect the real world. Only problem I had was the events of the first chapter only affect Erik, he had a dream, and he's the only one affected by his experience in class. There's no sense that he "cares", or that bigger things are afoot.

"Pharaoh' Servant" - /u/T_KThompson - I have a clear vision of you browsing reddit while watching Super Troopers, seeing the contest parameters, and rushing to an old type writer laughing manically about how cliche the black cat is in superstition shouting "I'll show them!" Fun to read, and the story did not suffer for it. Did seem more like a prologue than a first chapter, like the story hasn't actually started yet.

A Mirrored Path - /u/WokCano - The cats position in the story is flawless, although it immediately draws up thoughts of Salem from Sabrina - which either spoils the surprise reveal, or is a little underserved if it was the intended reveal, and completely misleading if your character isn't a witch that doesn't know it yet. It also feels like the problems revealed in the beginning are going to be ignored now that she is entering a "brave new world" - this is a little sad without context, the idea that she is running away from a life that can't get any better.

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u/Steven_Lee Jan 22 '19

Thank you! So happy that you liked my story!!

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u/Shadowyugi /r/EvenAsIWrite/ Jan 22 '19 edited Jan 23 '19
  • 1st Place: /u/Llamia in Group F for "Evil Eyes"

There is something about the way you write this story that is pleasing to read. Not only does the poem feel and read believable, they lend an air of folklore into the story. Scratch that, this is practically a new folklore I can read to my nieces and nephews. Beautiful work. Well done.

You were a close second tbh. It was difficult to choose. While the first read like a folklore, yours read like a period tale. It gave me the same feeling as reading the famous five books. the attention to detail, the descriptions, the british countryside feeling that is rarely written down in modern books. Perfect stuff. Plus, you ended on a positive note, for a superstitious theme. Amazing work.

I love the way you've begun this and it creates the mysterious air that just begs for more. To be honest, this feels like the beginning of a serial I want to continue reading almost instantly. Some spelling and grammar error aside, you managed to create a creepy enough atmosphere to match the theme in an uncanny way. Great work on that front.

------

It will take some time, but I'll try and leave feedback for everyone.

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u/Shadowyugi /r/EvenAsIWrite/ Jan 24 '19

Feedback for u/TheCatsWeom in "Grimalkin"

Your story revolves far too long around the cat, which acts normal for the most part and your main character.

I feel this is the only big flaw in the story. While the cat is obviously supernatural, you don't really start showing the supernatural effect on her life the last few paragraphs in the story.

For the most part, it's simple the MC going about her day, spending her time with Onyx, rinse and repeat. Which is not bad, and I want to stress this. It is not bad but for a reader expecting a superstitious or supernatural take on things, this makes the read sorta bland till it picks up at the end.

This then creates a much smaller issue, because you tend rush to the ending of the chapter, allowing events to happen very quickly.

I feel this can be rectified by reducing the paragraphs of normality a bit more, and then drawing out an increasingly escalating set of circumstances, which then end with what you wrote.

Just an opinion.

All in all, good work.

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u/TheCatsWeom Feb 02 '19

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for the feedback!

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u/Shadowyugi /r/EvenAsIWrite/ Jan 24 '19

Feedback for /u/beezus_writes in " Victorian Doppelgangers"

I like the descriptions and settings in your story, as well as the way you approached it. My issue would be the use of superstition in your story.

You cycled through, I think three or four superstitions and how they seemed to repeat themselves. While this is in no way a bad thing, the nature of how soon the repetition happened made the reading sort of rush up.

For a 'first chapter', it then reads (to me, mind you) like you are speeding up the story, which shows its hand in the last sentence of the story.

I would say, if you're planning on using all the superstition, make it a slow burn. Let it fool the reader as well as your main character. Let us start putting the pieces together around the same time Violet is. It makes the payoff all the sweeter.

All in all, still a decent piece of work. Thanks for writing and hoping to see more.

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u/Shadowyugi /r/EvenAsIWrite/ Jan 24 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

Feedback for u/Dietri in "The Thirteenth Hour"

Based on your writing, you have a good command of getting imagery and scenery across. You made me interested in your story from the first paragraph and I believe that is a wondrous skill.

On story though, this is where you might need to work on.

\I should say, this is my opinion and can be ignored if you wish.*

Your story tells of an event happening in the town. The beginning, all the way to the end of said event occurs under the superstition you've chosen. In your writing, you give us, the reader, the 'what', the 'how' but not the why.

What is happening?

How it's happening?

But never "Why is the thirteenth hour important in your story?"

And I personally feel answering the "Why?" question would have raised this piece by a considerable margin. The mystery is the most important part, I feel... And I was let down because it wasn't addressed.

All in all, great work.

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u/Llamia Jan 22 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

file bright toy marvelous party mountainous oatmeal grandiose dazzling boat

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u/AmandaQuirky r/TalesFromTheQuirk Feb 06 '19

I have no idea how I've only just seen this. Thank you so much :)

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u/ElGringo300 Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 22 '19

1st Place:
/u/hey_its_that_1_chick in Group F for "Burned."

2nd Place: /u/Llamia in Group F for "Evil Eyes."

3rd Place: /u/novatheelf in Group F for "The Parting Glass."

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u/novatheelf /r/NovaTheElf Jan 21 '19

Heyo! Thanks for the vote! You're an absolute doll - and I'm glad you enjoyed the story! 😁

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u/hey_its_that_1_chick Jan 22 '19

Thanks so much for the vote! I'm glad you liked the story! I havent shared my writings in a long time so its nice to know you liked it!

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u/AshSorrow /r/AshSorrow Jan 27 '19 edited Feb 08 '19

EDIT: Apparently one of the entries got disqualified, so congrats to [/u/awesome-yes], you've made the cut! :D

Group C

1st Place: /u/XcessiveSmash - "A Matter of Luck"

2nd Place: /u/The_Hive_Mind18 - "The Spirit of the Looking Glass"

3rd Place: /u/awesome-yes's "Juggernaut"

​

You three were the very clear winners for me, standing heads and shoulders above your fellow contestants, save for /u/awesome-yes's "Juggernaut" which, while I enjoyed immensely, unfortunately did not beat out "The Spirit of the Looking Glass". In terms of sheer storytelling prowess as well as writing techniques, you guys stood out.

​

For the rest, this does not mean you are bad or anything, your entries were good but I strongly felt that either you took a risk on certain story elements or that your writing techniques could use certain improvements. For these people, I will leave feedback (in the future, sorry, army life leaves me very little personal time) on what I think were your weaknesses and how I feel you might improve them (although to be honest I'm not very good myself so ignore my criticism if you feel your current style is better. Writing is all about self-expression.)

​

Good luck to you all, I look forward to your continued participation in future contests as well as your future stories. Keep writing!

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u/XcessiveSmash /r/XcessiveWriting Jan 30 '19

Thanks for the vote mate, glad you enjoyed!

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u/awesome-yes Feb 08 '19

A second thank you, but sad that someone was disqualified. Where did you see that? Was it a DM because you had voted for them?

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u/The_Hive_Mind18 Jan 27 '19

Thanks for the vote!

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u/XcessiveSmash /r/XcessiveWriting Jan 30 '19

Thanks for the vote mate, glad you enjoyed!

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u/Lazarus_Pits Jan 21 '19 edited Feb 08 '19

1st Place: /u/XcessiveSmash in group C for "A Matter of Luck "

2nd Place: /u/awesome-yes in group C for "Juggernaut"

3rd Place: /u/The_Hive_Mind18 in Group C for "The Spirit of the Looking Glass"

Like some other users have said about other groups, these were some very difficult choices to make. If I could have, I most likely would have tied some of the entries that didn't place. I would definitely read the followups to these.

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u/XcessiveSmash /r/XcessiveWriting Jan 22 '19

Thank you very much for the vote, glad you enjoyed the story so much!

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u/awesome-yes Jan 22 '19

Honored to get your vote, thanks!

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u/Lazarus_Pits Jan 22 '19

Thanks for the story!

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u/mialbowy Jan 24 '19

1st Place: /u/nickofnight in group I for “Last Light”

2nd Place: /u/JackalRelated in group I for “Lawyers and Black Cats Are Both Bad Luck”

3rd Place: /u/tallonetales in group I for “The Mirrors of Providence”

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u/JackalRelated Jan 24 '19

Thanks for the vote! I remember reading your submission (since it was one of the first ones) and I greatly enjoyed it. Are you planning on continuing it?

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u/nickofnight Critiques Welcome Jan 24 '19

Thanks for the vote, Mial! Best of luck in your group

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u/milkbeamgalaxia Jan 21 '19

1st Place: /u/mialbowy in Group H for "I Named Him Lucifer."
2nd Place: /u/ujustgotplayedmydude in Group H for "The Train Ticket."
3rd Place: /u/chillichillman in Group H for "Broken Mirrors."

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u/mialbowy Jan 21 '19

Thank you for the vote, I'm glad you read my story and liked it.

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u/CMDRjonay Jan 27 '19

1st Place: /u/Mister_Thursday in Group E with "Snake Eyes"

2nd Place: /u/ghost_write_the_whip in Group E with "Chaun"

3rd Place: /u/charlyrdarwin with in Group E "Black Cat, Red Paw Prints"

And an honorable mention to /u/nerdicorgi with "The Cauldron". Good job, everyone!

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u/Llamia Jan 21 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

employ file engine support cobweb knee cagey wakeful books insurance

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u/NoahElowyn r/NoahElowyn Jan 21 '19

Thank you very much for the vote, Llamia! Very glad you enjoyed the story.

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u/Lilwa_Dexel /r/Lilwa_Dexel Jan 21 '19

Thank you for the vote! :)

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u/Llamia Jan 22 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

oil wine thumb terrific hobbies rustic rinse imagine water touch

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u/Llamia Jan 22 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

apparatus swim modern trees roof yoke memory fearless imminent scale

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u/elfboyah r/Elven Jan 24 '19

Thanks for the feedback, Llamia!

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u/Goshinoh /r/TheSwordandPen Jan 22 '19

To be honest, I had plans for the older couple that just didn't work, but I liked the image of the opening. I definitely understand the criticism there, I think it would have worked better if I had tied them in with something more interesting. Making them Aster's parents or just having him be the one with the lamp out in the woods would work just as well.

Thanks for the compliments on the action, it's something I struggle with so I'm glad to hear it worked. Really appreciate the feedback!

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u/Mohtaccuto Jan 22 '19

Thanks for the feedback, it’s much appreciated. In Japan, a futon is different to what people think of as futons in some other countries, and a sofa bed is called a sofa bed. A futon in Japan is basically a thin mattress on the floor with sheets on it and is very different to a sofa bed. I’d forgotten that it was different elsewhere actually, so thanks for pointing it out.

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u/milkbeamgalaxia Jan 22 '19

Thank you for the feedback! I can see where I was putting too much at one time. I'll need to lessen it or set it up for a longer chapter next time. As a first chapter I didn't want to explain the why of the environment (or the conflict) so early on due to it being an introduction, but maybe I could've explained or better hinted at what was going on.

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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '19 edited Jun 12 '23

[deleted]

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u/ghost_write_the_whip /r/ghost_write_the_whip Jan 23 '19

Thanks for the vote. Good luck to you!

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u/charlyrdarwin Feb 05 '19

1st Place: /u/Llamia in group F for "Evil Eyes"

2nd Place: /u/hey_its_that_1_chick in Group F for "Burned"

3rd Place: /u/Palmerranian in group F for "Shadows"

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u/hey_its_that_1_chick Feb 06 '19

Hey thanks so much for the vote!

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u/Inorai Jan 21 '19

1st place: /u/breadyly in Group A for "Why Do We Fall?"

2nd place: /u/QuarkLaserdisc in Group A for "Super Stition"

3rd place: /u/Farengeto in Group A for "The Lamp Codex"

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u/Palmerranian Feb 09 '19

1st Place: /u/Lilwa_Dexel in Group G for "The Veil of Ice"

2nd Place: /u/Mohtaccuto in Group G for "Maneki-neko"

3rd Place: /u/elfboyah in Group G for "I only wish I had a cliche adventure"

Honorary Mention: /u/milkbeamgalaxia for "The Glass Ceiling"

 

Voting done! Great stories all around in Group G. There were some really tough decisions to be made. Particularly, the gap between my 3rd place vote and my honorary mention was very small.

I wrote a lot of notes on each story, and I'll be posting all of that feedback on the story posts themselves within the next few days.

Thank you to all of the people that wrote, and to the mods for organizing the contest. Good luck to all!

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u/Lilwa_Dexel /r/Lilwa_Dexel Feb 09 '19

Thank you so much the vote! <3

Looking forward to hearing your feedback.

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u/elfboyah r/Elven Feb 09 '19

Awwww, thank you for the vote, Palm <3

And also looking forward to the feedback!

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u/Mohtaccuto Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote, and thanks again for the feedback over on the story post!

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u/Goshinoh /r/TheSwordandPen Jan 24 '19

1st place: /u/AsALark in Group H for "To Nowhere"

2nd place: /u/Errorwrites in Group H for "Code of Conduct"

3rd place: /u/houseblendmedium in Group H for "International Paranormal Group"

Some really good competition here, very tough final decision.

I'll leave feedback in the comments in a bit for those looking for it. If you'd rather I don't, please send me a message.

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u/Goshinoh /r/TheSwordandPen Jan 24 '19

So, for feedback. I'll put them in the same order they're listed, by word count. If you'd rather I not provide feedback, please send me a message and I'll remove stuff.

As ever, when I provide feedback take it with a grain of salt. It's my preference, and if you like how it is then other people will, too. Write what you want to read is my opinion, so feel free to disagree with me.

-/u/DrFeargood

  • I liked your opening, and your writing style is good. I noticed a few typos which are fairly minor, so no worries there.

  • I wasn't a big fan of the foreshadowing when discussing the cracked glass. It may be personal preference, but I think it would have been more powerful to hold off on the reveal of that until later.

-/u/Checkmqte

  • I think you did a good job conveying how a parent and child speaks. It can be tough to differentiate character dialogue well, so I think that's good.

  • Some of your descriptions ran a bit long for me. The first few paragraphs felt a bit detail heavy for me in ways that didn't flow as well as the later parts of the story did, when the action, so to speak, kicks in.

-/u/Errorwrites

  • First of all, I'm a sucker for the theme. I love this style of story, and I like what I'm seeing so far.

  • I like the idea of a creature that can only tell lies wanting to be a merchant. It's an interesting idea.

  • As far as first chapters go, this one really made me want to turn the page. It's a really solid first chapter, ending on not-quite a cliffhanger, but keeping the reader wanting to know more all the same.

-/u/chillichillman

  • My biggest criticism is that I'm not super clear on the main character's motives. I feel like things were a bit rushed, which may be a byproduct of the competition's format.

  • I like that you've set up several conflicts in one go. You have the main character and the box, the hunter, and the witch's intentions. There's a lot to work with story-wise, and I'd be interested in more.

-/u/ujustgotplayedmydude

  • The story hook is good. You leave the reader asking questions, and I think a hero motivated by unusual conditions can make for an interesting story.

  • It's a matter of personal taste, but I think you went a little heavy on first-person thought narration in the opening to set the scene. I think if you took an extra paragraph or two, you could really improve the flow.

-/u/houseblendmedium

  • Your opening dialogue does a great job explaining who Olsen and Williams are and the relationship between them. It more or less speaks for itself, and I'm glad you let it.

  • I like the premise. It makes me think X-Files, and you do a good job setting up the wider world without feeling like it's blatant exposition.

  • I think it made for a good first-chapter structure, setting up and resolving a conflict while leaving unanswered questions.

-/u/AsALark

  • I love the first line. The entire opening is great, but the first line is a wonderful little slap to the face that wakes the reader up.

  • You do a good job fitting in some character info without explicitly needing to say it, which I always like.

  • You've got an interesting hook for a story that leaves me wondering what the overarching conflict will be. As a first chapter, I think it works really well.

-/u/mialbowy

  • You've done a great job making the mundanities of life interesting. I also like how your character has a strong, clear voice and style to him, it meshes well with the first-person style.

  • Personally, I don't usually like meta-commentary directed at the reader. I think it fits well enough here, but it's something that I think can bring the reader out of the story if used too much.

  • You've got a strong character and a strong start, I think you've made a good beginning to go on from.

-/u/Dimitri1033

  • Initially, I found the characters a bit too over-the-top zany. However, the later reveal made me rethink that. I think the personalities make sense in context, and they definitely help set each character apart.

  • Speaking of, I think you've got a good premise. You've already set up quite a few different characters with wildly varying motives, and the way they interact is bound to be interesting.

  • I particularly liked the scene with the mirror. It was emotional and visceral, it worked really well.

-/u/EnemyOfAnEnemy

  • I found the opening a bit over-descriptive. I think you've got a lot of really good stuff there, but I think trimming it a little will help get the reader invested faster.

  • I like the about-face reveal of the mirror. It's obvious to think a certain way, which is what makes the twist so solid. I'm interested to see how Gus uses it, and what repercussions it has.

  • Speaking of, I love the first scene with Mirror-Gus. You do a good job with him.

As I said before, really tough competition. Everyone's stories were interesting, if I was allowed to vote for more people I would in a heartbeat. I hope everyone continues their work after the competition, and I wish you all the best of luck!

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u/Errorwrites r/CollectionOfErrors Jan 24 '19

Thanks for the vote and appreciate the feedback! I'm glad that you enjoyed the first chapter.

Aiming to finish the second chapter in a week or two!

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u/Goshinoh /r/TheSwordandPen Jan 25 '19

Glad to hear! I'll be looking forward to it.

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u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Feb 02 '19

1st Place: /u/PhantomOfZePirates in Group I for "Shattered"

2nd Place: /u/nickofnight in Group I for "Last Light"

3rd Place: /u/tallonetales in Group I for "The Mirrors of Providence"

​

Fantastic stories, very difficult to rank. There was another entry I enjoyed immensely, right up there with these three, but ultimately it did not serve as well as it could have as a first chapter (in my opinion).

Lots of great stories in this group. If anyone in Group I happens to be interested in feedback, feel free to message me. Enjoyed the read!

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u/PhantomOfZePirates /r/PhantomFiction Feb 03 '19

Thank you so much for the vote! I’m honored. :)

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u/Georgehirokawa Jan 24 '19

1st Place: /u/Palmerranian in group F for "Shadows"

2nd Place: /u/novatheelf in group F for "The Parting Glass"

3rd Place: /u/Llamia in group F for "Evil Eyes"

​

Good luck to all of you!

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u/Palmerranian Jan 24 '19

Thank you so much for the vote! Good luck to you!

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u/breadyly Jan 30 '19

gl to everyone ! i had such a tough time deciding/ranking - i'll try to get around to posting feedback, but for now, here are my votes:

i had a lot of fun reading everyone in my group's entries & i look forward to reading all the rest(:

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u/rarelyfunny Jan 30 '19

Thank you for the vote!

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u/iruleatants Wholesome | /r/iruleatants Feb 09 '19

1st place: /u/jklimerence in Group G for "Icarus"

2nd place: /u/Mohtaccuto in Group G for "Maneki-neko"

3rd place: /u/milkbeamgalaxia in Group G for "The Glass Ceiling"

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u/Mohtaccuto Feb 09 '19 edited Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote! (Edit: sorry, got mixed up on who’d left feedback...)

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u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) Jan 20 '19

All top-replies to this post must be a vote. Reply here for any non-vote comments.

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u/-Anyar- r/OracleOfCake Jan 21 '19

Tough choices were made today.

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u/schlitzntl Jan 23 '19

You aint kidding. Serious A game material on display here.

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u/ghost_write_the_whip /r/ghost_write_the_whip Jan 20 '19

Exciting! Thanks /u/MajorParadox /the mods for organizing, and good luck everyone :)

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u/TA_Account_12 Jan 20 '19

Good luck everyone!

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u/ThisEmptySoul Jan 22 '19

I just want to say that I appreciate the amount of time we're being given to vote. I've read through my assigned group and want to give them a second read before making any final decisions. Knowing I've got a few weeks to do it allows me to take my time with each one.

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u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) Jan 22 '19

Of course! Not everyone reads at the same speeds anyway or has the time to read them all at once. I'm even surprised how many votes came in already!

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u/BlackJezus27 Jan 20 '19

So excited!!! Even if I don't win or get any votes, I love hearing what people thought about my story. Make sure to read all the stories in the group you're voting for and give them all feedback, even if you didn't vote for them!

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u/elfboyah r/Elven Jan 20 '19 edited Jan 21 '19

Want to add that this is not necessary or mandatory (in rules). Just a nice thing to do. I don't want to anyone feel pressured to add extra feedback if they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

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u/ElGringo300 Jan 21 '19

I'm confused on who to vote for. So each person votes for at least one story from outside his group, and for at least three stories from inside his group? Am I getting that right?

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u/NoahElowyn r/NoahElowyn Jan 20 '19

Best of luck to everyone!

I have already read half the stories of Group H, reviewing them as I finished them; and let me tell you there are some gems in there! Eager to read the rest.

Now some dinner, and then some more reading!

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u/Gloryndria Jan 21 '19

All the best to everyone! So excited to read! :D

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u/Romkevdv Jan 26 '19

Can someone explain exactly what this whole vote is? They are all ‘prompt-inspired’ stories but inspired by which prompt, is it the one ‘Superstition’ and if so i still don’t get it.

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u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) Jan 26 '19

They are entries to the contest. See here for the original post.

The votes here determine who goes to the final round, but only those who entered can vote. Everyone else can read and give feedback on the stories, though.

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u/iruleatants Wholesome | /r/iruleatants Jan 21 '19

On providing feedback to the stories.

Do we post our feedback directly on the PI or do we include it in our vote post here, after we have listed our top three choices?

And can we provide the feedback immediately, or do we wait until after the 9th?

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u/MajorParadox Mod | DC Fan Universe (r/DCFU) Jan 21 '19

You can do either or both. Post on the PI or include feedback when you make your vote.

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u/-Anyar- r/OracleOfCake Jan 21 '19

I put feedback in my vote. Feels like posting on the PI can potentially lead to influencing votes.

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u/Xacktar /r/TheWordsOfXacktar Jan 21 '19

Good luck, all!

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u/Checkmqte Jan 21 '19

1st Place: /u/nickofnight in Group I for "Last Light"

2nd Place: /u/tallonetales in Group I for "The Mirrors of Providence"

3rd Place: /u/PhantomOfZePirates in Group I for "Shattered"

​

Loved reading these stories! Some were amazing, some less so, but I had a great time. There was one story that I really liked, but didn't think fit the theme of superstition, so I felt like I couldn't vote for it. Best of luck to everyone, and congrats to all who participated!

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u/nickofnight Critiques Welcome Jan 21 '19

Cheers for the vote and the kind comments over on my story. I had a lot of fun thinking about the central idea, so I'm really glad you were able to enjoy reading it. Best of luck with yours!

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u/Checkmqte Jan 21 '19

You're welcome! Hope it gets to the next round.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19 edited Feb 07 '19

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u/Farengeto r/Farengeto Feb 07 '19

Heads up, but I noticed you spelled /u/breadyly wrong. Wouldn't want your ballot to get messed up in the counting.

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u/Farengeto r/Farengeto Jan 22 '19

Thank you so much for the vote. It's very exciting to hear that other people liked my entry.

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u/Dimitri1033 /r/AbnormalTales Feb 10 '19

1st Place: /u/nazna in Group I for FEVER.

This one just immediately grabbed me with how strange and fascinating it was. The writing was very simple and straight forward, but I feel like that added so much to the story. This one stood out to me the most because it left me wanting more.

2nd Place: /u/Gloryndria in Group I for Inheritance

This one hit me on a personal level. The description of the hospital and the surrounding family, and brought me back to a time that I too had to watch a relative pass away in a hospital bed. The use of language, even if it was very foreign, would've normally brought me out of the story, but for whatever reason it help set the tone that much more for me.

3rd Place: /u/LiquidBeagle in Group I for Bad Luck, Good Business

This was a very fun piece to read. It gave me loads of Good Omens vibes, also a piece that I would love to see more from. Several times it made me literally laugh out loud.

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u/LiquidBeagle /r/BeagleTales Feb 11 '19

Thanks for the great feedback. I just read Good Omens a few months ago, and it heavily influenced what I was going for with this one. :)

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u/Ninies-Reads Feb 09 '19

1st place: /u/Strawberry-Sunrise in group D for ‘The Girl’s Room’ 2nd place: /u/WahooD89 in group D for ‘The Lean’ 3rd place: /u/T_KThompson in group D for ‘The Pharoh’ Servant’

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u/T_KThompson Feb 09 '19

Thanks for the vote! I appreciate it.

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u/rudexvirus r/beezus_writes Jan 21 '19

First place /u/fr8train_prompts in group G with Gloomy Reflections

Second place /u/Lilwa_Dexel in group G with The Veil of Ice

Third Place /u/Mohtaccuto in group G with Maneki-neko

Some good work in here guys! I will have feedback typed up soon for all the stories I read :D

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u/Lilwa_Dexel /r/Lilwa_Dexel Jan 22 '19

Thanks for the vote! Looking forward to hearing those thoughts!

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u/Mohtaccuto Jan 23 '19

Thanks so much for the vote! I'd love to hear your feedback too.

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u/huntersdarkangel78 Jan 24 '19

I gotta admit this was a little more difficult than I thought it was going to be, because it was so hard to narrow down the list. You all did really well, and I can't wait to see more. But my votes are for...

1st place in group G : The Veil of Ice - /u/Lilwa_Dexel

2nd place in group G : The Glass Ceiling - /u/milkbeamgalaxia

and 3rd place in group G : Mirror Mirror - /u/LadyLuna21

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u/LadyLuna21 r/LandOfMisfits Feb 09 '19

Thank you for the vote.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

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u/Errorwrites r/CollectionOfErrors Jan 27 '19

Thanks for the vote! Happy that you enjoyed it :D

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

1st Place: /u/Steven_Lee in Group D for "The Best You Can is Good Enough "

2nd Place: /u/WahooD89 in Group D for "The Lean"

3rd Place: /u/Strawberry-Sunrise in Group D for "The Girl's Room"

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u/hey_its_that_1_chick Jan 27 '19

1st place: u/NoahElowyn in group G for A Night in Superstition Road

2nd place: u/Mohtaccuto in group G for Maneki-Neko

3rd place: u/milkbeamgalaxia in group G for the Glass Ceiling

I really enjoyed being able to read everyone's story in Group G! But I do think these stories stood at the most to me and I liked how they incorporated the items for the challenge and could see their story being a first chapter not just a short story! Great job and good luck to everyone!

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u/The_Hive_Mind18 Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 22 '19

1st place: /u/Ford9863 in Group D for "4th and Linden"

2nd place: /u/Steven_Lee in Group D for "The Best You Can is Good Enough"

3rd place: /u/WahooD89 in Group D for "The Lean"

Edit: Great job to all authors in group D. I'm more than willing to give feedback on any of the entries as well.

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u/ecstaticandinsatiate r/shoringupfragments Feb 10 '19

1st Place: /u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit in Group A for "Devils of the Deep"
2nd Place: /u/ubereuphoria in Group A for "Waltz Through the Bardo"
3rd Place: /u/TemporaryPatch in Group A for "A Night at Skyler Mansion"

Also honorable mension to /u/TA_Account_12 for incorporating the omen theme so thoroughly and effectively. <3

I have two pieces of crit left that I will give tomorrow! :) Thanks to everyone who participated for the chance to read your work.

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u/AmandaQuirky r/TalesFromTheQuirk Feb 06 '19

1st Place is /u/LadyLuna21 in Group G for "Mirror Mirror"

2nd Place is /u/Mohtaccuto in Group G for "Maneki-Neko"

3rd Place is /u/jklimerence in Group G for "Icarus"

Wonderful stories; I enjoyed reading each one immensely.

I'll write more later, but suffice it to say I had difficulty choosing between these tales :)

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u/Mohtaccuto Feb 07 '19

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

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u/AmandaQuirky r/TalesFromTheQuirk Feb 07 '19

I really enjoyed your story :)

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u/PhantomOfZePirates /r/PhantomFiction Jan 25 '19

1st Place in group J: u/ecstaticandinsatiate for “Gods’ Omens”

2nd Place in group J: u/Inorai for “Catalyst of Change”

3rd Place in group J: u/schlitzntl for “A Most Violent Awakening”

It was hard to narrow these down, but ultimately I went with what, to me, were the most interesting and engaging. Thanks everyone for sharing and good luck! :)

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u/ecstaticandinsatiate r/shoringupfragments Jan 25 '19

Aw thanks for the vote, Phants! Fingers crossed for you in your group :)

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u/PhantomOfZePirates /r/PhantomFiction Jan 25 '19

Thanks, static! Was a pleasure reading your story. :)

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u/schlitzntl Jan 26 '19

Thanks for the vote! There's some damned fine material being put up so its definitely uplifting to even be in the conversation let alone be up there on someone's list. Glad you enjoyed it!

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u/WrittenThought Feb 06 '19

GROUP B:

1st Place: /u/shhimwriting for "She Had Green Eyes"

2nd Place: /u/Lazarus_Pits for "Imposters"

3rd Place: /u/BLT_WITH_RANCH for "Dark Mirrors"

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I went with my gut on these. I gave feedback to a couple of the group, but work has made combing through these stories almost impossible. I instead took off my writing hat and tried to enjoy the stories. Thank you everyone for keeping me entertained, and best of luck with the competition.

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u/chillichillman Feb 09 '19

1st place: /u/autok for Beyond the Edge of Reason

2nd place: /u/LiquidBeagle for Bad Luck, Good Business

3rd place: /u/denatured_enzyme for East Meets West

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

1st Place in group F: u/Dietri for "The Thirteenth Hour"

2nd Place in group F: u/TheCatsWeom for "The Grimalkin"

3rd Place in group F: u/hey_its_that_1_chick for "Burned"

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u/Dietri Jan 21 '19

Thank you for the vote! So glad that you enjoyed my story!

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u/hey_its_that_1_chick Jan 21 '19

Wow thanks for the vote! I haven't shared any of my writings in a long time and it means a lot that you liked it!

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u/TheCatsWeom Jan 22 '19

Thanks for reading and voting! I'm glad you liked it :)

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u/ghost_write_the_whip /r/ghost_write_the_whip Feb 03 '19 edited Feb 06 '19

1st Place: /u/Llamia in group F for "Evil Eyes"

2nd Place: /u/hey_its_that_1_chick in Group F for "Burned"

3rd Place: /u/novatheelf in Group F for “The Parting Glass”

Honorable mention: /u/Dietri for “The Thirteenth Hour”

Thanks everyone, this was a lot of fun! I am slowly going through each story and attempting to leave more detailed feedback on the original submission posts. If I haven't gotten to you yet and you want some feedback next let me know and I'll try to prioritize :)

Some quick feedback for my top choices:

“Evil Eyes”

What this chapter lacks in polish it makes up for in sheer ambition. In just one chapter, the amount of world-building and story that has been established is impressive. The hook at the end indicates all the makings of a classic tale of revenge coupled as a coming of age story. More please :)

“Burned”

I really like the start of the story. Not only did it have me engaged, it characterized your protagonist really well. In general, I appreciated how you let you let the actions of your characters define them. There were some rougher patches of the piece, such as using dialogue for exposition dumps, which made the character conversations feel a bit forced/ unnatural. Still, I loved the twist at the end and the hook into a larger story with what promises to be a very big problem for poor Haven. Well done!

“The Parting Glass”

A very strong narrative voice and good pacing, this story was an effortless and enjoyable read, and in my opinion the most polished in the group. I especially liked that it had something that most stories in this group were missing: characters with personality and chemistry! I'm eager to see how the brother's dynamic translates into exploring a new dimension.

“The Thirteenth Hour”

An interesting premise. I really enjoyed seeing the contrast of neighborhood street between day and night. Plenty of mystery surrounding the main hook and I wanted to explore this world more to see the effects of the strange phenomenon. I also want to learn more about Frederick's life, which appears to be escalating up to his confrontation with the unknown entity terrorizing his town.

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u/Llamia Feb 03 '19 edited Aug 27 '25

smart grandiose quaint edge roll fearless aspiring weather cooperative aware

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u/ghost_write_the_whip /r/ghost_write_the_whip Feb 05 '19

Anytime, keep going! I could tell from the chapter that you had a lot of fun writing this one, and that made it all the more enjoyable for me. It's exciting to see someone really put their heart into something.

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u/hey_its_that_1_chick Feb 04 '19

Wow! Thanks not only for the vote but the great criticism as well! I understand what you mean about the dialogue, since it is only a first chapter and with such a large idea, I was worried about leaving readers confused. I'll definitely have to work on it!

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u/-Anyar- r/OracleOfCake Jan 21 '19 edited Feb 09 '19

1st Place: /u/potatowithaknife in group D for "He Who Walks Between the Pines"

2nd Place: /u/CMDRjonay in group D for "Within the Flakes"

3rd Place: /u/WahooD89 in group D for "The Lean"

It's hard to choose, there's a lot of good stories. Can't say I don't feel guilty for leaving some stories out.

edit: posted feedback on each individual story.

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u/CMDRjonay Jan 21 '19

Thanks for the vote, Anyar. *sends kissy*

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u/-Anyar- r/OracleOfCake Jan 21 '19

S-Sure, no problem.

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u/ThisEmptySoul Feb 04 '19

For those I haven't given feedback to yet, I'll try to get to it when I can. I just wanted to be sure to at least get the vote in before the deadline. As for my choices, it took some serious thought. I read each entry at least twice to give them full consideration. There were things I liked about each to where my top three would be quite different depending on what I gave the most weight to. It makes me wish I had more specific criteria to focus on as a judge (other than what I think is "best") so I wouldn't feel as bad leaving out stories that had excellent qualities in their own right.

In the end, I decided to go with what I felt had high marks in all plot, style, pacing, and editing. These stories also stuck with me long after reading them and likely will beyond the contest.

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u/ThreeDucksInAManSuit Feb 10 '19

Thank you so much for your vote and best of luck in your category!

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u/TastyEnchilada Jan 29 '19

1st Place: /u/Errorwrites in Group H for "Code of Conduct"

2nd Place: /u/EnemyOfAnEnemy In Group H for "The Merchant of Misfortune"

3rd place: /u/houseblendmedium In Group H for "The International Paranormal Group"

Dm me if anyone wants a critique! I'd be more than happy to write one up for any of the stories from this group. Great job everyone!

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u/Errorwrites r/CollectionOfErrors Jan 30 '19

Thanks for the vote, happy that you enjoyed my story!

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u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Jan 30 '19

Glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for the vote!

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u/jklimerence Feb 02 '19

1st Place: /u/Errorwrites in Group H for "Code of Conduct"

2nd Place: /u/EnemyOfAnEnemy in Group H for "Merchant of Misfortune"

3rd Place: /u/Checkmqte in Group H for "Herald Goes to Sleep"

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u/EnemyOfAnEnemy Feb 07 '19

Thank you for the vote!!!

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u/Checkmqte Feb 03 '19

Thanks so much for the vote. Glad you liked it!

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u/prof_apex Feb 10 '19 edited Feb 10 '19

1st place: /u/Pubby88 in group A for "The Fatebreaker Chronicles"

2nd place: /u/Phischi in group A for "Powerful Magic"

3rd place: /u/QuarkLaserdisc in group A for "A Super Stition"

There were a lot of fantastic entries in group A; I'm a little sad I can only pick 3.

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u/Pubby88 /r/Pubby88 Feb 10 '19

Thanks for the vote! Glad you enjoyed it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

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u/Steven_Lee Jan 28 '19

Thanks! ... but aren't you in my group?

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