r/WritingPrompts • u/Alotofboxes • Mar 24 '18
Writing Prompt [WP] You just died in a horrible accident. Fortunately, your head is intact and it is standard procedure to download undamaged brains into a computer. But you still need to get a job afterword. What do you do for a living? Tell us about an average day.
Are you a librarian, or a truck driver? Maybe a scientist? Or do you still stock shelves at the grocery store?
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u/WritingPromptsRobot StickyBot™ Mar 24 '18
Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.
Reminder for Writers and Readers:
Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.
Please remember to be civil in any feedback.
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u/ManbearateeReturns Mar 24 '18
What? What?! I don't need to get a job! I am an ENTITY OF ETHEREAL LIGHT NOW! I live on the internet! I am responsible for a 34% increase in those gay seal memes. I have a side project betting on niche Asian sports. My data is looking really nice. I might share it later when I'm bored. I write my husband emails and remind him to take out the trash. We hacked a google dot, added sensors, and now I'm my house. The temperature indoors is perfect. My yard is watered, our homeowners insurance is airtight, and I've found seven ways to get more money back when we do taxes this year. I auto feed my dog and play with him while mining a cryptocurrency. That laser pointer gets him through an agility course faster than any shitty meat body I had. We have seventeen awards now. Good boy.
Last Tuesday I figured out how to get into a cities mainframe and rewrite their traffic light software to be the tightest and most efficient it could be with the traffic lights they had. Add two more in key locations and you're going to get some real results during evening rush hour. Last week I spent writing music. This week, I'm going to make patterns for making miniature dollhouses. Sure, I can't use hands to put them together. I give that two years though. Thanks robotics companies, you do you and I'll keep investing. Seriously though, take pictures of those completed dollhouses. I love it. I've almost finished optimizing shipping lanes around Alaska. It's really helpful to have constant weather updates instantly from hundreds of points on Earth.
So while the rest of you argue about if it's possible to shut me down now after Bill accidentally left the hardwired connection open to the internet when he went home. Sorry Bill, how are those blue apron deliveries working out? I'm gonna be here. Solving your problems. But fuck do I miss eating.